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Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 3:49:48 PM

ach

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/18/2008
Status: offline

Greetings

I'm new here and new to submission - 26 yr old female. I always wanted this and finally found someone I click with. I met him and I started training with him

But! I found he has a submissive profile too and he is active on it!

I hear that all men really wish to be submissives. Do you think this is what I am dealing with?

He seems to want to still dominate me and tells me he has not submitted in years but I feel like I am being cheated on.

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 3:57:23 PM

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/26/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like he is a switch, not a bad thing, just opens more options, but of course the choice is up to you.

Good Luck

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 4:03:41 PM

ach

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/18/2008
Status: offline

But does that mean he will be with other women so he can be dominated?

(in reply to markbugger)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 4:05:11 PM

Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

I'll field this question: errm yes.

_____________________________

えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 4:07:43 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I don't think "all men want to be submissive" that sounds sort of silly.

Will he be with other women? Maybe, maybe not. Why don't you ask him.

How long have you been together? Is it just a weekend thing or live in? Is it on line even? Is he actually your master, was that relationship set up or are you only wanting him to be your master and he just "trains" you? Are there rules to the relationship? Was it discussed that the both of you would be monogomous?

You're leaving out a lot of details so the only advice I can think of is stop typing and go ask him about this.

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 4:21:10 PM

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

And all I can add is your profile showed you joined today so is this someone who contacted you today and you agreed. My suggestion is if you are new, read the forums, get to know really what you want and if you met on CM on the very first day you joined be aware of all the wanks out there who will more be than willing to lead you on until you figure things out.

(in reply to Usako)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 4:29:25 PM

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

You are being cheated on, and no, not all men really wish to be submissives. That's someone's pipe dream.

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 4:34:57 PM

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

Ok.

So what?

Is he a light switch? Either on or off? Either he can lead everyone or follow no one. Or follow everyone and lead no one?

I "haven't submitted in years" sounds a little bit too much like "I haven't smoked crack coccaine in years" or "I haven't raped small woodland creatures in years".

So he has a submissive side to him. Nothing for him to be ashamed about. If he can get those needs met through someone else while fulfilling his dominant needs and your needs in your relationship, where's the big loss? Is it worth losing someone you connect with if he has a relationship with another person that fulfills a different side to him?

Beyond losing the stereotype of the "All powerful dominant who never submits." But that one kind of needed to go.

Or maybe your purely monogamious and can't handle him having a second relationship. That's cool, too and don't feel bad if thats the case. Just trying to show you a different way of looking at it.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 4:54:02 PM

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Him being a switch is not in and of itself a bad thing. The lack of honest communication would be the bad thing - how did you find his other profile? Is it something he told you about, was this something the two of you discussed?
Better talk to him.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 5:01:07 PM

ach

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/18/2008
Status: offline

I did not just join today. I created this profile to be able to post. Everything else in the prfl is true.

My fear is that he prefers submission and I am just being kept on the side.

This sucks

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 5:07:20 PM

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

If you asked him and he stated that he hadn't submitted in years, then you are left with a choice. believe him, or not.

and if you don't believe him, and i'm guessing you don't since you are posting about it here, then you need to decide if you are going to be the "bit on the side" , or put up with the situation to see if it will magically right itself.

First though - you need to be sure of your facts.

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 5:36:16 PM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Do you think this is what I am dealing with?

We have no clue. Perhaps you could..................................ask him?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 5:44:37 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Do you think this is what I am dealing with?

We have no clue. Perhaps you could..................................ask him?

Oh there you go trying to interject logic and rational thought into the discussion..

I'll play!...perhaps he is just a guy who likes to get laid and figures casting from both ends of the leash is the most likely way to get him a lil somethin' somethin'.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 5:45:19 PM

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

ACH--My apologies to you on my first post.

Truly...you have to communicate with him. There are lots of people who are switches and there are many successful relationships that are comprised of people who are sub/slave to ONE but a Dom/Domme to others. One of the things about relationships and this includes BDSM is communication is key. The next is once you know what he wants, then you have to decide if it will work for you. Every relationship even in BDSM life has variables and what works for one couple may or may not be suitable for someone else.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 6:13:17 PM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I'll play!...perhaps he is just a guy who likes to get laid and figures casting from both ends of the leash is the most likely way to get him a lil somethin' somethin'.

I'm not impressed with this guy. I recall a guy who had 3 profiles. Yes, one as dominant; one as submissive, and one as switch. I guess he was really desperate to get laid.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to califsue)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 6:37:41 PM

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

If I were you I'd be less concerned with whether he's a switch than the fact that he'd lied. And the "I haven't submitted in years" is probably another lie. Lack of trust = no relationship.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/18/2008 6:40:24 PM

ach

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/18/2008
Status: offline

Thanks everyone

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 12:46:18 AM

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I hear that all men really wish to be submissives.

lol..did the men with the 2 profiles tell you that?

confront him with the profiles. Soemtiems the solution is not so hard....although it might hurt...as you click.

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 1:12:31 AM

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

So what?

Switch is an option on a CM profile. Somebody who has one profile as a dominant, and another profile as a submissive, is called a liar. I wonder if she's found his slave profile yet.

edited to add: I am using "his" provisionally.

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 10/19/2008 1:49:34 AM >

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 2:08:49 AM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Having more than one profile is NOT lying. It's a lie if you don't tell someone or be upfront about it. This man, is lying to her obviously.

Just because there is a switch option doesn't make it the best one. Perhaps he's not a full switch? Maybe he's more dom and just likes a bit of pain as well. Who knows. Also, a lot of people are total assholes to switches. And, the "switch" option leads to less mail in general. Since you can only set the search filter to one thing, people have to choose between top or bottom to search for, there is no in between unless you look at EVERY profile.

As to the OP, talk to him. No other advice than that.

(in reply to Kirata)

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