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Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 6:08:00 PM   
AsianSlave2125


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		I'm an overweight slave and am not too confident hitting a public scene because of this, any suggestions?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 6:11:55 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Let the beauty that you are shine through and it will happen--

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(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
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RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 6:41:11 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		i had the same problem until i got out into public and realized, not only did no one care, but there were a lot of other girls there who where just as heavy and heavier, and it didn't seem to bother them a bit. After a while i didn't think about it anymore.

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
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RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 7:01:11 PM   
KarbonCopy


Posts: 779
Status: offline 		You'll find that most of the local scenes are riddled with all shapes and sizes. Its only on mainstream sites like this where you find the superficial ones.

well not to say that you wont meet superficial people in real life. Its just that these sites like Alt, and Collarme are stuffed full of them.

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(in reply to orfunboi)
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RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 7:47:31 PM   
DelRey


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		Your weight will not be an issue, unless you let it become one.

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
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RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 8:09:24 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AsianSlave2125

I'm an overweight slave and am not too confident hitting a public scene because of this, any suggestions?


[laugh] Look around. You are so not alone. Many masters are looking beyond body type and size to the more important aspects that can't be measured on a scale.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
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RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 8:19:35 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		I would suggest you focus on things besides your weight to help you feel confident about your appearance and appeal. For example, get a manicure and pedicure so your feet and hands are all pretty. Wear something that makes you feel super hot. Get a yummy new piece of jewelry. Take extra care on your hair or makeup. Accentuate the things you like about your appearance.

People will tell you attitude is an important part of appeal. It is. But some sexy fishnet stockings can help you FEEL more confident which shows in your attitude.

If you just don't think you can bring yourself to get completely naked the first time out, think about what kind of scene you will be doing and adjust.

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 8:59:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AsianSlave2125

I'm an overweight slave and am not too confident hitting a public scene because of this, any suggestions?

People do not care that much about you.

Overweight is the norm in the scene in America.

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/20/2005 9:30:15 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AsianSlave2125

I'm an overweight slave and am not too confident hitting a public scene because of this, any suggestions?


I used to feel this way about what I looked like in a bathing suit. I dont have a bikini body. I used to be miserable at the beach and missed out on a lot of fun, until one day I realised there were LOADS of people there who were way less bikini worthy than I and that THEY WERE PROBABLY ALL WORRIED ABOUT THE WAY THEY LOOKED to the point where they DIDNT EVEN NOTICE ME.
So, now I just say f*ck it and have a good time.
I suggest you do the same. Nobody there is going to be thinking "Did you see that big girl....." They are too worried about whether or not the restraints make their hips look big :-).


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
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RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 8:25:04 AM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		The last play party I attended was quite lovely and the mix of body types was vast. I watched so many fuller figured women unclothed themselves with such glee, it made me feel such joy to be in the same room with them. It was nice to see people enjoying themselves without a care of what others thought of thier body size. They didn't seem to have a care in the world, it was wonderful.

I hope that you'll go and enjoy yourself to the max. You might find it to a very freeing experience. Next thing you know, your Signifigant one might find themself having a hard time keeping your clothing on when ever you go out to events anywhere, anytime.

Good luck with this, I know its not so simple a thing to get past, but sometimes it can be be if we just go for it and then it's just a memory good or bad, but only a moment in time.


Rosa

PS I just realized something, You were just talking about being nervous about attending a function as a person of big stature, not even about taking off clothing, (my mind was in the gutter,) girl plezzzzzze, get thee to the nearest event and have a blast, some nights, half the people you will see at any event will be of plus size. Eye roll, stop missing out on life because of your body type. Don't make me come drag you out of that little corner.

Seriously, I'm a big woman and many of the events I've attended, have had other men and women there that were of substantial size, you won't feel out of place for reasons of your size. So please go and have fun.

< Message edited by RosaB -- 12/21/2005 8:34:15 AM >

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 10:40:35 AM   
tmrideher51


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline 		Speaking as one who has trained both plus and (IMO) minus sized girls I have to admit my fondness for the curves of a full figured woman. Voluptuos women will always have a special place in my heart. But it is what is inside the sub that will always have a overriding, deciding factor in my mind. Beauty is always found inside not on the outside. Your insecurity of your body type is nothing more than what society has put in your psyche. (I wish twiggy would have drowned as a child!) This lifestyle is one of self exploration and the adventure. Most of the greatest masters of painting have always portrayed women as "Rubenesque" Get in the scene girl and enjoy! The only one holding you back is yourself!

(in reply to RosaB)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 11:30:39 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Try not to be self conscious, I know it's hard, but you are probably your own worst critic.
Everyone's taste are different. In someone's eyes you are beautiful and the girl that weigh's 100lbs wet, is gastly.

Notice I said "wet?" Big are small all women are beautiful when they are wet

(in reply to tmrideher51)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 11:50:26 AM   
cravinspankin


Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		I'm curious.. when you say "hitting a public scene," what specifically do you mean?
Do you mean scening in a semipublic place like a lifestyle party or dungeon?
Or do you mean going out to a party or a club, or just anywhere in public?


However... i will respond to this even without your answer.
I am a 40 year old divorced woman, considered a SS BBW.
I have been a big woman all my life, from the time i was a girl.
When my ex walked out on me in 2004, i spent the next 18 months holed up inside my apartment, few friends, afraid to go out to clubs because i feared i'd be scorned because of my weight.
Then a woman I met thru an online chat room persuaded me to go to a BBW dance. There I met a guy who absolutely loved, i mean loves loves loves big women.
He had formed his own local yahoo group for big women, big men and their admirers.
I immediately joined. There I found women of all sizes who loved themselves, weren't afraid to show their curves, felt and acted sexy. It has been a huge confidence builder.
I can't say i'm always comfortable with the way i look, but more and more every day i am becoming one of those confident, yes-i-know-i'm-sexy kind of women.
And indirectly led me to where I am today, into bdsm and seeking a Dom to serve.
And in exploring my interest in bdsm... yes, this big ol' woman with her stretchmarks and other scars, her large droopy breasts, has gotten naked at lifestyle parties and the local dungeon... and found no one gave a damn. No one criticized me, no one made fun of me. if anything, i'm told im beautiful, that that beauty tends to really come out in a scene.
And there are sooo many other big women in this lifestyle. Most of my friends, on both sides of the slash, are considered BBWs, and they're proud of it.
Yes, sometimes im intimidated when i go to a party and see thin beautiful women there. But you know what?? It seems they're always the ones sitting on the sidelines while I"m in the midst of our Dom/Domme/submissive friends, playing naughty truth or dare or baring my backside for a caning in front of whoever cares to see. Im living life, they're watching it.
I pray that you find the ability to love yourself as you are and not let something like weight be an inhibition, prevent you from experiencing all that this life has to offer.
*hugs*

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 12:17:00 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin
It seems they're always the ones sitting on the sidelines while I"m in the midst of our Dom/Domme/submissive friends, playing naughty truth or dare or baring my backside for a caning in front of whoever cares to see. Im living life, they're watching it.


Hmmm I can't say your experiences are off for your own group, but I know in our community, the skinny hot ones have just as much fun as the fat normal ones.

There IS a backlash against skinny people, they can get bashed as well and it might be that they don't want to incur fatter people being snide about them "showing off" or making them feel bad. Women can be quite competitive and nasty to eachother in these ways. (It happens)

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 12:21:32 PM   
SwtJadedGrl


Posts: 60
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AsianSlave2125

I'm an overweight slave and am not too confident hitting a public scene because of this, any suggestions?


one thing that i have learned in this lifestyle is that people are so accepting. those that i have come across who are not, well none of them have proven to be real. how can we stand up and say that the world should accept us as we are, and not accept eachother? Some like to be caned others want to be restrained and everything in between, but we all say that no one has the right to judge us. So why in the world would we judge another because of body type. age, creed. This lifestyle is about acceptance and the freedom to be ourselves. love yourself and it will show. embrace what you have been given and that is the ability to please and serve. that is the most beautiful thing that we can do. that alone will show our true splendor. best of luck and stay beautiful. ~~jaded~~

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)
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RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 12:37:44 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		i don't think any of us has a "perfect" body devoid of scars, areas we don't particularly think are our best, etc., but so long as we accept who we are and do not judge others based upon appearances, that's what counts. physical looks are so very ephemeral that to go by those alone is foolish at best. we are who we are inside and how we treat others should be how we are judged, not by our size or other physical attributes. a bit redundant but i'm sick with a fever/flu, so that's how it will be. sorry.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 12:42:27 PM   
cravinspankin


Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		You're right. Women can be very snide and hateful to one another.
But i wasn't attempting to be with this. Just an observation on some of the women who are part of my social scene, at least.
While most of the women in my social circle are bbws, we are all inclusive -- it is size friendly, not size discriminatory.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 12:48:37 PM   
SwtJadedGrl


Posts: 60
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross



Hmmm I can't say your experiences are off for your own group, but I know in our community, the skinny hot ones have just as much fun as the fat normal ones.

There IS a backlash against skinny people, they can get bashed as well and it might be that they don't want to incur fatter people being snide about them "showing off" or making them feel bad. Women can be quite competitive and nasty to eachother in these ways. (It happens)

LA i agree with you 100% there. women can be down right mean. i think what we all need to do is realize that everyone of us has something to offer and see eachother as a network of friends and not someone to compete with. just my ramblings.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 12:54:59 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

You're right. Women can be very snide and hateful to one another.
But i wasn't attempting to be with this. Just an observation on some of the women who are part of my social scene, at least.
While most of the women in my social circle are bbws, we are all inclusive -- it is size friendly, not size discriminatory.


quote:

ORIGINAL: SwtJadedGrl
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Hmmm I can't say your experiences are off for your own group, but I know in our community, the skinny hot ones have just as much fun as the fat normal ones.

There IS a backlash against skinny people, they can get bashed as well and it might be that they don't want to incur fatter people being snide about them "showing off" or making them feel bad. Women can be quite competitive and nasty to eachother in these ways. (It happens)

LA i agree with you 100% there. women can be down right mean. i think what we all need to do is realize that everyone of us has something to offer and see eachother as a network of friends and not someone to compete with. just my ramblings.

you've all got it on the head. we should be supportive and see beyond size and into the person. it's not a competition, it's about sharing and learning and being supportive.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to SwtJadedGrl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/21/2005 1:21:40 PM   
cravinspankin


Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SwtJadedGrl


one thing that i have learned in this lifestyle is that people are so accepting. those that i have come across who are not, well none of them have proven to be real. how can we stand up and say that the world should accept us as we are, and not accept eachother? Some like to be caned others want to be restrained and everything in between, but we all say that no one has the right to judge us. So why in the world would we judge another because of body type. age, creed. This lifestyle is about acceptance and the freedom to be ourselves. love yourself and it will show. embrace what you have been given and that is the ability to please and serve. that is the most beautiful thing that we can do. that alone will show our true splendor. best of luck and stay beautiful. ~~jaded~~



You're absolutely right. And really, that's very much part of the point i was attempting -- but apparently failed -- to make. That as a large woman, i myself have found people in this lifestyle to be so accepting -- to the point that this once shy, hesitant woman can feel comfortable even getting naked, tied and flogged or caned in front of others.
It is about acceptance.. first and foremost of who we each are as individuals, accepting and loving ourselves for everthing we are, including our body types and our kinks or interests in alternative lifestyles.
Having others in this lifestyle be so accepting and willing to share info and welcome newcomers has just made it that much easier.

(in reply to SwtJadedGrl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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