ALAstella
Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
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Aszhrae, I gave you so much advice before on a thread back some time ago. You've got to face facts, you being transgendered and getting through the transition is nobody else's issue other than your own. If you keep relying on other people you're going to keep on getting screwed and them having their wants and needs priority.
I wrote it back then and I'll repeat myself here, you have got to learn to stand on your own two feet, move on, otherwise you probably won't get through the whole transition. Your life and your transition isn't the problem of your Master and Mistress, it's your's.
I'm sorry, but the 'oh poor me' song doesn't wash with me. Sometimes I wish I had a Master and Mistress to support me in domestic service, but I never went down that route, I took the advice of people and refused to take the easy way out.
I have been homeless, because I tried to hold onto my own independence, and I've just ended a period of going through my transition and dealing with everyone and everything on my own without much support from anyone. This includes dealing with welfare benefits, handling my transition and transgender issues and also handling being homeless.
Earlier last year I almost became homeless again due to a medical examination by our welfare people where the doctor decided that I was pretending to be transgendered just to claim welfare benefits, despite the fact that I have been on the program at London's Charing Cross Hospital since 2006.This took away almost all my income (they suspended my welfare) between February and June, but I still had to maintain an apartment, and pay bills for gas, electricity, water, phone/Internet and somehow feed and clothe myself, not to mention purchase cosmetics, develop a theatre, a charity, etc. It screwed up my plans for the theatre and charity and ruined my plans to emigrate to Canada.
Please don't ask me how I got through, twice it got within 4 days of me losing my apartment and going back onto the streets. At present I'm struggling to cover bills and debts from six months ago whilst my bank is taking charges for all the direct debit payments which didn't go through. Being on Income Support (the UK equivalent of SSI) the bank shouldn't be taking charges, but despite this and despite running the risk of becoming insolvent (unless I win the battle with my bank) I'm working to become self-employed.
However despite that I have managed to develop a theatre, a charity and an LGBT support group, I'm halfway through a book and I now have a Significant Other.
Recently there was a misunderstanding over appointments on my program at Charing Cross and I was removed from the program (you can only miss or postpone one appointment during the entire course of the program) but I argued my case and have been reinstated.
In the light of the above 2008 was a very difficult, stressful year for me, one spent with real difficulties which I had to deal with mainly on my own without much support from anyone else.
Did I come onto the boards and whine about my situation? No, these were nobody else's problems but mine, and all I did was go out and deal with these problems the best way I could.
It was several weeks ago when I gave you that advice, so I could ask what have you been doing in the meantime?
You've only got one life. Being able to stand on your own two feet is part and parcel of the whole gender reassignment process. My advice is still the same, you've got to ditch the whole BDSM and finding a Mistress business until you have got a roof over your head and have sorted out what you're going to do in life. Taking responsibility for your own circumstances and situation would be a good start. Finding people prepared to help you and developing a decent support network would be the next best step.
If you think that standing on your own two feet is going to be difficult, try being a paraplegic. There are people worse off than you, and they can manage it, so can you.
You just have to try.
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RE: Deeply Troubled - 
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