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RE: service - 1/11/2009 1:08:48 PM

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Hey! If someone messes with you, just tell them I will come and kick their nuts through their sinuses! (and I CAN, too!)

It's like this... man writes to dominant, saying that he wants to do stuff around the house. CLEAN the house, even. Without even wearing a maid's uniform, or being naked! Okay, sounds good on the surface. He comes over, is given the instruction to "clean the kitchen". Now, folk of my generation grew up doing chores, so that is a pretty straightforward task. He has no questions, and the dominant goes off to do more constructive work than the dishes.

She returns to see that the trash has not been emptied. There is a spoon on the stove's spoon rest, untouched. There is no smell of cleaning solution, whatever her solvent of choice is. Why is this? Well.... he didn't know where the trash bags were. No, he did not ask in advance where they were, nor did he LOOK for them. Same thing with the cleaning solution. That spoon on the stove? Hm... he didn't notice that....

I am sure you know that all this is a cheap bid for "punishment". That kind of punishment is a REWARD, though, isn't it? And why should the dominant reward a cleaning job that she wouldn't accept from a child?

It's a vicious cycle. In my mind, a submissive wants to make my life easier, or he doesn't. If he wants to make my life easier, SPIFFY, then he should get cracking, and a kind dominant like myself will make sure that he is rewarded for obedience from time to time. Why only sometimes? Because life is NOT a 24/7 scene, and the dishes need doing every day. Because if he lives there, he is also responsible for taking care of the environment of the home.

Cranky Hib

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RE: service - 1/11/2009 1:15:17 PM

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If I have to get up every 15 minutes to give him a tongue-lashing or a kick up the arse to get the job done . . .

Well - humour me, it's a genuine question - what about if that were every hour or even at the end of every day?

And suppose, re Lynnxz's comment - that you just spelt it out that you wouldn't put up with 'prancing around to get more attention' (or more funishment, for that matter).

Nah. I suppose if it's not there, it's not there, I guess you'll say . . . .

I think, for me, some jobs would be favours for a partner, others would be yum-jobs that'd give me a forty-fiver. But I'm assuming a dommie could put a little zest into those favours-for-a-partner jobs, at least every now and then.

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RE: service - 1/11/2009 1:25:54 PM

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Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

If I have to get up every 15 minutes to give him a tongue-lashing or a kick up the arse to get the job done . . .

Well - humour me, it's a genuine question - what about if that were every hour or even at the end of every day?

And suppose, re Lynnxz's comment - that you just spelt it out that you wouldn't put up with 'prancing around to get more attention' (or more funishment, for that matter).

Nah. I suppose if it's not there, it's not there, I guess you'll say . . . .

I think, for me, some jobs would be favours for a partner, others would be yum-jobs that'd give me a forty-fiver. But I'm assuming a dommie could put a little zest into those favours-for-a-partner jobs, at least every now and then.

I'm not sure if others will see things the way I do, but I'd feel less like there was potential to disturb the d/s dynamic if we kept service and playtime separate, to a degree. For example, he'd do things for me because he loved me, I'd do things for him because I loved him. That, to me, is the way it is when you're in a committed relationship, and you're part of a team, however unequal the players. So, he would do chores because he wanted to see me happy, and without any expectation of anything extra. That's not to say that I wouldn't exercise my dommely skills on him in passing, but it wouldn't be an expectation or a demand on his part in reference to doing things for me, just a little icing on the bun(s). But, as part of that relationship we would have funishment at some later point (that evening, the following afternoon, next Saturday around teatime); we'd engage in that because we wanted to, not because I was manipulated (an unpleasant word equivalent to "topped from the bottom") into it in exchange for a few badly done chores. I guess a forty-fiver is the best we can hope for. Ninety degrees could be either really good or really bad.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 1:32:14 PM

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Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
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quote:

PeonForHer wrote:
Suppose he demands to feel humiliated to do a job and get a buzz out of it. Why can't a dommie just do something like whip him every now and then (or kick him up the bum or even just give him a tongue-lashing - whatever he finds humiliating)? Doesn't that ever work?

Well, it might work for him but what does she get out of it? And, on the other hand, it might not work for him: he might start demanding that she humiliate him `properly'.

beeble.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 1:50:08 PM

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Hey! If someone messes with you, just tell them I will come and kick their nuts through their sinuses! (and I CAN, too!)

Fackenell, that's a disturbing image, Lady Hib. The appearance of a man's nuts projecting from his nostrils would be unpleasant, I would imagine.

Chiaroscuro: proper division of light and shade - that's the general message I'm getting from everyone here. Differentiation of "help-a-partner" from "D/s service" motivations. It makes sense and fits with my Grand General Theory of D/s. And also makes me feel that now-increasingly-familiar wave of relief that this D/s world can be realistic for me.

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RE: service - 1/11/2009 2:36:04 PM

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From: UK
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quote:

PeonForHer wrote: The appearance of a man's nuts projecting from his nostrils would be unpleasant, I would imagine.

Damn right. They'd dangle in his soup, for a start.

beeble.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 2:50:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

quote:

PeonForHer wrote: The appearance of a man's nuts projecting from his nostrils would be unpleasant, I would imagine.

Damn right. They'd dangle in his soup, for a start.

beeble.

I've just had this really unfortunate visual of his balls flying across the room when he blows his nose.

(in reply to beeble)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 2:54:53 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Well - humour me, it's a genuine question - what about if that were every hour or even at the end of every day?

And suppose, re Lynnxz's comment - that you just spelt it out that you wouldn't put up with 'prancing around to get more attention' (or more funishment, for that matter).

Nah. I suppose if it's not there, it's not there, I guess you'll say . . . .

I think, for me, some jobs would be favours for a partner, others would be yum-jobs that'd give me a forty-fiver. But I'm assuming a dommie could put a little zest into those favours-for-a-partner jobs, at least every now and then.

It's not that it's a bad question, hon. Sometimes, you have to understand what happens here on the other side of the kneel to see why it seems so obvious to us. That's not a crack by the way. It's just that we go through it so often that it's almost like knowledge that is so deeply embedded that we forget some aren't familiar with it.

Here's how it works in My house. Dominance and submission do boil down to a dynamic that fulfills a need for each participant. Some submissives really do have a need to serve. It does make them happier to make the life of the Dominant easier. The other part of that is allowing the Dominant to have the time and energy to invest in her craft. We aren't born knowing how to tie people up, hurt them in good ways, make toys, and all of the other stuff. I can't tell you how much time I put into networking alone. Not exactly something I can do while mowing the grass. LOL. It sounds kind of funny, but I literally told this to My husband yesterday. You have no idea of what it takes to be Lady Pact.

The other part of this is, if these things are done for Me and done well, not only have I had time to learn My craft, I have the energy to exercise it. When the house is in order, the lawn is mowed, or whatever, I'm more likely to invest that time and effort into play. This isn't really any different than our vanilla counterparts. A lot of people have heard the results of a vanilla husband who shares the chores at home without being nagged. The wife is more likely to have the energy to keep him happier in the bedroom. It's really the same premise.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 3:00:36 PM

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Peon, Just come on over. You can start working on my back yard and I'll watch you out the window while I bake cookies. I'll even let you have some when you're done. There. You did something nice for me. I did something nice for you. Not very D/s ish... but good for both and we can have great play time afters.

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It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 3:05:39 PM

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LMAO Venatrix, I just had the same visual, along with floating hairs in soup.... ack
Would that be one testicle per nasal passage or both in one??

LOL sorry I dont really have a response to the OP for me its part of playtime, for my pleasure and not a great deal to do with "Life" but I dont have the pleasure of having my pet with me 24/7.
Lucy

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(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 3:05:58 PM

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Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
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quote:

PeonForHer wrote: The appearance of a man's nuts projecting from his nostrils would be unpleasant, I would imagine.
beeble wrote: Damn right. They'd dangle in his soup, for a start.
Venatrix wrote: I've just had this really unfortunate visual of his balls flying across the room when he blows his nose.

There's always someone who has to lower the tone. Sheesh.

beeble.

(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 3:08:46 PM

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Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

quote:

PeonForHer wrote: The appearance of a man's nuts projecting from his nostrils would be unpleasant, I would imagine.
beeble wrote: Damn right. They'd dangle in his soup, for a start.
Venatrix wrote: I've just had this really unfortunate visual of his balls flying across the room when he blows his nose.

There's always someone who has to lower the tone. Sheesh.

beeble.

I assume you're referring to Peon?

(in reply to beeble)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 3:27:04 PM

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From: UK
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quote:

PeonForHer wrote: The appearance of a man's nuts projecting from his nostrils would be unpleasant, I would imagine.
beeble wrote: Damn right. They'd dangle in his soup, for a start.
Venatrix wrote: I've just had this really unfortunate visual of his balls flying across the room when he blows his nose.
beeble wrote: There's always someone who has to lower the tone. Sheesh.
Venatrix wrote: I assume you're referring to Peon?

Did sweet, innocent Peon introduce the idea of blowing one's nose while eating soup? I think not.

beeble.

(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 3:39:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

. . . sweet, innocent Peon . . . .

How much did he pay you to write that rubbish? I didn't think he had that kind of money.

(in reply to beeble)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 3:56:05 PM

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Hey thanks everyone this is actually helping.
Ok peonforher I have a very exhausting life. I might drive up to two hours to see my sub. That day I might have already done some pointing or flag laying or plastering or decorating. I arrive exhausted tired and crabby. What do I want? What I don't want is an aguement about who's cooking dinner, what we are having, what we are going to be doing. I want things done as I have told him I want things done. No matter what kind of day he has had. When I have my natural exuberance for life back (usually quite soon after a brandy) I will listen to his problems and sort them out for him. When everything in life is sorted then we can do whatever I've been planning to do since the last time I saw him.That may be going out or staying in. It may have a BDSM element or it may not. We dominant ladies are different. You just have to hope you find the one that suits you just like we are trying to find the one or more that suit us.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 3:57:53 PM

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I can't tell you how much time I put into networking alone. Not exactly something I can do while mowing the grass.

Actually, I think that could be done with right gadgetry, LP. I have a slight suspicion that you're lacking a sub who's well up in the mobile and computer tech department. Earphones and a mic, turning written words into spoken and back again, online - all while you're mowing the lawn.

A lot of people have heard the results of a vanilla husband who shares the chores at home without being nagged. The wife is more likely to have the energy to keep him happier in the bedroom. It's really the same premise.

Thanks for confirming that for me - another of those good feelings of being brought down to earth with a sense of relief for me.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 4:01:16 PM

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Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Hey! If someone messes with you, just tell them I will come and kick their nuts through their sinuses! (and I CAN, too!)

Fackenell, that's a disturbing image, Lady Hib. The appearance of a man's nuts projecting from his nostrils would be unpleasant, I would imagine.

I might be a marshmallow, but a marshmallow with a titanium core.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 4:06:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I can't tell you how much time I put into networking alone. Not exactly something I can do while mowing the grass.

Actually, I think that could be done with right gadgetry, LP. I have a slight suspicion that you're lacking a sub who's well up in the mobile and computer tech department. Earphones and a mic, turning written words into spoken and back again, online - all while you're mowing the lawn.

Thank you for, once again, pointing out that I need a computer/techie kind of sub. LOL. I'm actually very well aware of that one. You honestly just don't know the trials of being a computer twit and technically challenged.

quote:

A lot of people have heard the results of a vanilla husband who shares the chores at home without being nagged. The wife is more likely to have the energy to keep him happier in the bedroom. It's really the same premise.

Thanks for confirming that for me - another of those good feelings of being brought down to earth with a sense of relief for me.

I'm glad. One disclaimer though. Please keep in mind that I did specifically say that was how it worked in My house. That may not be the case for everyone.

Btw, I'm voting for one out of each nostril. It just seems funnier that way.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 4:11:05 PM

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From: UK
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quote:

LadyHibiscus wrote: I might be a marshmallow, but a marshmallow with a titanium core.

Be careful, Lady H. Striking too many balls with your titanium core can cause hearing damage: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7811143.stm

beeble.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: service - 1/11/2009 4:14:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

. . . sweet, innocent Peon . . . .

How much did he pay you to write that rubbish? I didn't think he had that kind of money.

I know I'm irremediably innocent, but could we all cut out the "sweet", please? I've made great strides in being un-sweet in the last few years and have even, on one recent occasion, belched audibly (albeit in private). I think my efforts at least should be given due recognition.

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(in reply to Venatrix)

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