Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "financially successful"?

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Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "fin... - 1/29/2009 2:31:45 PM

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I am trying to get it right in my head but cannot seem to do it. I recently asked for advice from people on here about how I should write my profile, so I have taken the time to read profiles of both Dommes and subs. Now I understand about pro Dommes and I do respect what they do but would it be crazy if a sub stated in his profile that he wanted a "financially successful" Domme? I bet every male would love to be dominated and owned by a rich woman. I am all about spoiling my owner, i.e. servitude, buying gifts, dinner, flowers, etc. etc. but I am not exactly "financially successful" If a sub asked in his profile for a generous Domme who would spoil and pamper him I bet he would get some real strange e-mails. I realize to enter into a D/s relationship a Domme would want a sub that was in a stable position but is not being wealthy a liability to a sub? I would like someone who knows to shed a little light for me.

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 2:33:34 PM

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Oh boy,the responces to this one should be interesting.....

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(in reply to DeepSouth)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 2:37:18 PM

T1981

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D/s relationships have the possibility of becoming unhealthily unbalanced just by their nature. When it's not healthy, it's not something most Domme's would want to touch with a ten foot pole.

Besides, stable doesn't have to mean rich. It just means that, a regular job with a steady paycheck.

< Message edited by T1981 -- 1/29/2009 2:39:41 PM >

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 2:39:47 PM

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I bet every male would love to be dominated and owned by a rich woman.

No, I'd want to be the partner of a domina who was my equal in most important respects.

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(in reply to DeepSouth)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 2:43:37 PM

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I'm not a fem domm, but I will answer your question.

I want someone who's financially stable so they can hold up their end of things. If we live together he's going to have to pay half the rent and half the utilities, and any other bills that come about because of living together, and even if we don't live together, I'm not willing to have to constantly be paying for his half of the outing as well as mine too. There also comes the cost of going to conventions and the costs of tickets, plus plane tickets, plus fun costs, and if he can't afford to go to any of the kink events I want to go to, what fun would it be. Sure I can go with out him, but I want to go to these things with my partner, not alone.

Now, they don't have to be rolling in the dough, but they can't be living hand to mouth barely scraping buy every week.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepSouth

I am trying to get it right in my head but cannot seem to do it. I recently asked for advice from people on here about how I should write my profile, so I have taken the time to read profiles of both Dommes and subs. Now I understand about pro Dommes and I do respect what they do but would it be crazy if a sub stated in his profile that he wanted a "financially successful" Domme? I bet every male would love to be dominated and owned by a rich woman. I am all about spoiling my owner, i.e. servitude, buying gifts, dinner, flowers, etc. etc. but I am not exactly "financially successful" If a sub asked in his profile for a generous Domme who would spoil and pamper him I bet he would get some real strange e-mails. I realize to enter into a D/s relationship a Domme would want a sub that was in a stable position but is not being wealthy a liability to a sub? I would like someone who knows to shed a little light for me.

(in reply to DeepSouth)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 2:43:46 PM

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Finding a Domme who wants to pamper and spoil you is unlikely. However, when I was looking I wanted a sub who was financially stable. In other words I wanted someone who could pay for his own things, who could afford to travel to me when I wanted him and who wasnt going to be a financial burden on me. I dont much care if they are wealthy... it would have been a nice bonus but was definately not necessary. I did, however, not want someone who would be a drain on me and pt me in a position of having to pay for everything if I wanted to see them.

DV

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(in reply to T1981)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 2:48:56 PM

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From my view point the reason why I want my slaves to be financially secure is that IF something WERE to happen to me - the slave would have some way to stand on their own. In turn I expect myself to have a job or at least enough money to lead the household. IN the end how the slaves money is actually used is another matter.

I once heard that a "good owner" puts away at least $500 a month for the slaves future benefit.

MstrPBK
St Paul, MN

< Message edited by MstrPBK -- 1/29/2009 2:50:22 PM >

(in reply to DeepSouth)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 2:59:20 PM

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I want a submissive who shows that he is able to make rational sensible decisions. I want him to come to me in such a place in his life that I am not rescuing him from something be that low self esteem, debt, or personal problems. So financial sucess means he can hold a job, meet his montly expenses and make good decisions about his life. I dont need him to make a six figure income I dont care about the amount of money he makes just that he can make good decisions with the money that he does make. I hope that helps clarify for you what finacially sucessful or stable means. SD.

< Message edited by Sylverdawn -- 1/29/2009 3:07:43 PM >

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(in reply to MstrPBK)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 3:00:59 PM

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You are confusing pro-dominant's and lifestyle dominant's and submissive's and gigilo's. None of us are the same and comparing us isn't really going to do you much good... in fact it could harm your chances with some people.

I have seen ads or profiles where submissive men requested a wealthy domina. I cannot tell you if that worked or not. I know I laughed when I read them and I did respond to one asking the guy something about his ad. He stated that he and some friends had done the supporting the wife bit and thought it a good gig. lol

Most people are looking for someone stable and what they may have achived in life let's one know certain things. Personally I have gone places in life because I wanted to do something with my life and was interested in anything I could learn or do. I want someone as interested in life. I have had experience with people with money and I thought most of them were weird or really off... we were simply different and I didn't want that for my life.

I would be happy with a smart blue collar worker. I need intellegence but it doesn't have to come in the form of education or money. If he has enough wit to keep me interested and not bored with his conversation... has enough money to make our lives more comfortable than what I have going on and is not materialistic and is realistic... we have a good start. But a man looking to live off of me... fat chance of that! lol I couldn't if I wanted to. No one gets a free ride.

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 3:03:26 PM

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Thanks to all who answered my question. I hope I did not ruffle any feathers with this post. I do understand that it is important for a sub to be stable and able to support themselves, in and out of the lifestyle.

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 4:33:24 PM

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I am going to be honest here--I am financially stable, very stable, but I am not the pot at the end of the rainbow---I do not expect a sub to be financially successful, I expect him to be financially STABLE. No debt, pays for or has his own health insurance, pays for his own car note and car insurance and a means of income for his extras. I do not expect to find that he has hopped from job to job--that flags a problem.

I do not expect him to support Me, but I do not intend to liquidate My assets for him.

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(in reply to DeepSouth)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 4:46:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepSouth

I am trying to get it right in my head but cannot seem to do it. I recently asked for advice from people on here about how I should write my profile, so I have taken the time to read profiles of both Dommes and subs. Now I understand about pro Dommes and I do respect what they do but would it be crazy if a sub stated in his profile that he wanted a "financially successful" Domme? I bet every male would love to be dominated and owned by a rich woman. I am all about spoiling my owner, i.e. servitude, buying gifts, dinner, flowers, etc. etc. but I am not exactly "financially successful" If a sub asked in his profile for a generous Domme who would spoil and pamper him I bet he would get some real strange e-mails. I realize to enter into a D/s relationship a Domme would want a sub that was in a stable position but is not being wealthy a liability to a sub? I would like someone who knows to shed a little light for me.

I don't have that listed in my profile, but being financially successful *is* a requirement of mine in a sub/slave.

"Financially successful" isn't always being used as a euphemism for "rich", in my experience it more often means just what it says: financially successful.

And subs/slaves list how they want to be pleased, pampered, spoiled, etc in many (I'd even say most) profiles here... the wording is just different.

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(in reply to DeepSouth)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 4:47:15 PM

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There are degrees of financial success.

I just don't want a slave add financial burdens to the household. As long as he can contribute what he uses in terms of resources that would be enough for me.

(It can be a she above by the way, I don't have double standard)

But if I want someone rich then I am shooting myself in my own foot in terms of finding a partner because now I've started seriously restricting the pool of potentials.

I think the same would be true for a sub to ask of a dominant. They shouldn't add financial burdens to your life but looking for a sugar daddy or mommy is cutting back on the number of potentials in a large way.

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(in reply to DeepSouth)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 4:50:35 PM

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*giggle* isnt the little femsub who is sure female dominance is a joke cute? And such a unique point I may have to rethink everything I have ever done!

I personally have little respect for anyone who demands they be spoiled. Male, female, dom or sub, if you are that materalistic then you will not impress me. Having the stability not to worry about having finances covered and be able to do what you want and buy things you want is what I expect. Having someone buy me things is not something I desire, and more often than not when someone is all that interested in spoiling me its becsaue they think they can buy the favor they cannot earn.

DV

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 4:54:31 PM

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Hmmmm that makes me wonder if there is anyone out there seeking someone financially "unsuccessful"?

(in reply to VampiresLair)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 4:58:16 PM

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I've got a really pissed off dominant in my email right now... the games around here... the bs... and of course no one real... but in all his realness... he wants to get down right nasty and do anything I want of course from the deepest and darkest parts of my.. ummm.. well, where ever the deep and dark comes from! As long as it is physical! Anything he tells me! And now comes in a newer lighter shade of blue.

So... I come here and see a fancy slave spouting that all female dominance is... blah, blah, blah... drivel.

It is never boring around here! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to VampiresLair)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 4:59:31 PM

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Joined: 8/30/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepSouth

I am trying to get it right in my head but cannot seem to do it. I recently asked for advice from people on here about how I should write my profile, so I have taken the time to read profiles of both Dommes and subs. Now I understand about pro Dommes and I do respect what they do but would it be crazy if a sub stated in his profile that he wanted a "financially successful" Domme? I bet every male would love to be dominated and owned by a rich woman. I am all about spoiling my owner, i.e. servitude, buying gifts, dinner, flowers, etc. etc. but I am not exactly "financially successful" If a sub asked in his profile for a generous Domme who would spoil and pamper him I bet he would get some real strange e-mails. I realize to enter into a D/s relationship a Domme would want a sub that was in a stable position but is not being wealthy a liability to a sub? I would like someone who knows to shed a little light for me.

It's a way of saying no freeloaders....

Diane

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(in reply to DeepSouth)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 5:11:08 PM

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quote:

Female dominance is BS - plain and simple. It's an easy way get other people to do what they don't want/ aren't capable/ or are too lazy and selfish to do/provide for themselves.

Wow did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? The same could be said for Male dominance if one wanted to view it that way. Actually that claim could be made regarding all orientations if one really tried.

Personally I am a Female Dominant who does, and always has made her own way in this world. I'm not lazy, incapable or selfish to take care of myself and mine.

To the OP, my male has a job, insurance and he takes care of his own bills. I have a job, have insurance and take care of my bills. When we live together we will be dividing everything equally. For us that works.

~Lashra

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 5:40:21 PM

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The people who normally respond on the boards are not the sort of people who I honestly believe the OP is pointing out. I've seen these messages in advertisements, too. And I also see it in personal messages women send to me out of the blue. These are women who are not interested in financial stability, but quite often are looking for a free ride. Unfortunately, there are numerous women like this, and they do not represent the good people of collarme, and they rarely post on the boards anyway. But they're all over the other side of collarme and don't seem to have any qualms about what they represent.

I'm financially stable myself, but if I was ever to become filthy rich, I'd never let anyone know because these people are like vultures and will start circling immediately. Again, this is not a criticism on most of the women who post on the boards. Most of them are real people who I understand what they are seeking; unfortunately, like insincere submissives, these other women have a tendency to give everyone a bad name.

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(in reply to Lashra)

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 5:42:44 PM

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Now who said this, I looked and looked and I can't find who said it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

quote:

Female dominance is BS - plain and simple. It's an easy way get other people to do what they don't want/ aren't capable/ or are too lazy and selfish to do/provide for themselves.

Wow did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? The same could be said for Male dominance if one wanted to view it that way. Actually that claim could be made regarding all orientations if one really tried.

Personally I am a Female Dominant who does, and always has made her own way in this world. I'm not lazy, incapable or selfish to take care of myself and mine.

To the OP, my male has a job, insurance and he takes care of his own bills. I have a job, have insurance and take care of my bills. When we live together we will be dividing everything equally. For us that works.

~Lashra

(in reply to Lashra)

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