RE: Looks and weight

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Looks and weight

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Looks and weight

Page: << < prev 4 5 [6] 7 8 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 2:28:35 PM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

FR

i admire men, and women, who know what makes then attracted to others, and freely admit what they find sexually appealing. i applaud anyone who is willing to be so bold in this age of being "politically correct". what i resent is someone who settles for less than they want for sex.. till their idea of perfection walks by. that is shallow, folks.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 2:41:05 PM

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

If I was building a woman out of parts and could have whatever I wanted, a nice body, defined as something under a size 8 with curves would be my ideal, not too thin as I find that unnatractive.

The reality is that women are not 2d characters, how sexually compatible we are, how comfortable she is with her body, how stylish she is, how graceful she is and a million other things factor into it.

A while back I was talking to a woman I used to date who had put on about 30 some pounds and while part of me could "see" the difference, the parts of me that were becoming hard were screaming at me that she was the sexiest thing EVER because, well she was the sexiest thing ever.

My only collared slave was a size 16 but taught belly dancing, she didn't walk through a room, she glided, a vision in elegance and style.

Hell take me, in vanilla life, I look like some scary beast who rarely ever managed to pick up women. In BDSM, those same evil looks become something of an asset. I was almost 300lb when BSB fell head over heals with me and I had LOST weight when she dumped me and my weight never figured in either decision. And she is as hot a woman as we have on CM, classy, sophisticated, and elegant. My looks were a small part of her equation in calculating my "attractiveness"

So while looks matter, it is a far more complicated equation than "weight+height+looks=attractiveness"

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 4:05:10 PM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

I suspect, Micheal, that that's where these conversation always bog down. The truth is that when we select a mate, we do so on a wide variety of characteristics. Some of them are outward. Others are inward. If a person is wise, then they weight these various factors in a well balanced pattern and select for best fits. If not, then they place too much emphasis on any one thing and so fail over and over.

I am reminded of a friend I had once who came to me with this question (and no, I am not kidding, this is the god's honest truth), "Jeff, I have a question. There are these two girls. One of them is sweet, kind, attentive to my needs, and in general a pleasure to be around. The other annoys me regularly and has a bitchy attitude, but man, she is HOT! Model quality HOT!

I asked, "So tell me, this model, how hot is she on a scale of 1 to 10?"
He answerd, "10" without hesitation.

So then I asked, "And the other one? The ugly duckling? How about her?"
Without hesitation he said, "8."

That, in my mind, is a perfect example of how this goes wrong sometimes. Had he answered "2", I might've said, "Pick neither." As it was, I just laughed at him and said, "Oh man, you are a freakin idiot."

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 4:15:34 PM

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MARAA

Hello, i would like to ask you about weight and looks. How important is looks and weight for you?
What are you looking after,if any particular?
"The stereotype" girl with long hair, small or not so big body and angelface how important is that?
How many of you would accept larger women? or opposite?
How much do you also look for the inside?
Thank you

everyone has preferences and some are merely too polite to admit them. i don't agree with the pc standard and we all have some aspect of our physical/mental/emotional/cultural/financial/ makeup that will be unappealing to someone. life doesn't offer a one size fits all and nor does love or relationships. i don't think it differs according to age either. we all like what we like and there's nothing wrong with this. the only time people take an issue to preferences is when what you prefer doesn't mesh what with who they are or what they bring to the table.

i'm not shy about admitting what i like, particularly in this medium. as with all things we have sticking issues and others that are more negotiable. i don't feel anyone should be criticized for what they like. that would be akin to going to the store and bashing the person in front of you for buying a different brand. it's your life, choose what you want and have fun with it!

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to MARAA)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 4:17:06 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Way to skinny for my tastes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

Just like all women should find the 5'6", 130 pound guy hot and sexy, right?

Man, wouldn't that be awesome? (Well, 5'9" and 105 lbs, but the point remains)

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 6:22:58 PM

Posts: 28
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline

I don't have set expectations, the men i have been with all were VERY different . .

skinny with long hair. . .

thick with blue hair . . .

Master is very muscular with short short hair . . .

If you would like them up next to each other, they wouldn't look like they had anything remotely in common. Except for the fact that i was attracted to them all and loved them all. Preferences can change, and so can your "perfect ideal"

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 6:43:29 PM

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Way to skinny for my tastes.

Way too skinny for most people's tastes, to be honest. Of course, I pack in as many calories in a day as I can, gorge myself, exercise like a mad rabbit... and I'm still 5'9" and 105 lbs.

Girls all want the weightlifter; guys all want the supermodel.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 6:52:57 PM

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Girls all want the weightlifter; guys all want the supermodel.

not true by any means. people's tastes are as varied as people themselves. many women are attracted to the buff/bodybuilder look yes, but just as many are attracted to the big burly "bear" type, the tall lanky type, and everything in-between and beyond. and for every man who desires a tall and waif-like supermodel figure on a woman, there are just as many who lust for the rubenesque earth-mother, the ultra-toned athletic look, and everything else under the sun.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 7:29:20 PM

Posts: 396
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

I agree with daddysprop...if anyone had told me I'd fall in love with a man whose thighs were smaller than mine, I'd say they were crazy. but that's just how Daddy is and that's the way I love him.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/25/2009 7:35:50 PM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peachgirl

I agree with daddysprop...if anyone had told me I'd fall in love with a man whose thighs were smaller than mine, I'd say they were crazy. but that's just how Daddy is and that's the way I love him.

Haha, my M's thighs are the size of my upper arms I think..but I love him anyway. (yes, a good deal of that is muscle, but some of it is my cute puffiness

)

edited to say, Yes, I am exaggerating a tad bit. The thing is, he isn't the big dudes I am used to, but I love him anyway. While I do have to be attracted to someone, I have found that the things that attract me now, aren't the same things that did ten years ago.

< Message edited by sleazybutterfly -- 6/25/2009 7:39:05 PM >

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to peachgirl)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/26/2009 12:10:49 AM

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peachgirl

if anyone had told me I'd fall in love with a man whose thighs were smaller than mine, I'd say they were crazy.

And there's clearly some reason for that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

The thing is, he isn't the big dudes I am used to, but I love him anyway.

That word "anyway", there, is worth examining.

See, here's the thing. All hyperbole aside, yes, I know that "guys want the cheerleader / girls want the weightlifter" isn't absolute. We're talking about bell curves, here. But we're talking about some pretty sharp bell curves.

Certainly, there are smaller guys who "get plenty of action", to use an unfortunate but oft-repeated turn of phrase. Likewise with bigger girls. But most of the time, it's not with their first picks - and if it is, it's either an exceptional occurance, or that particular less-physically-endowed person has some sort of pronounced compensating advantage.

Statistically, we reward men who are taller. They get better jobs, better salaries, more power, and more respect.

Statistically, we reward women who are thinner. They marry men with better jobs, better salaries, more power, and more respect. And if they break the statistical mold enough that their primary focus is their own job, their own salary, their own power, and their own respect, then it's even more important that they have the right look and the right attitude.

Our hyper-masculinized and hyper-objectifying culture is brutal to any perception of weakness or deviance. Yeah, you can overcome it, just like you can overcome any disadvantage or disability. But that doesn't mean you're likely to.

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/26/2009 8:17:27 AM

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

Ialdabaoth,

i just haven't noticed these overwhelming trends. you should also keep in mind that what might (and i mean might) help someone to get ahead in the professional world, is often completely contrary to what will work in someone's personal life.

also, i am not one to focus on exceptions to the rule. it is not the "rare" heavier woman who will find a loving and satisfied mate, it is not the "rare" skin and bones guy who finds the same. chances of finding that special one are not increased by one fitting into ANY particular physical mold, unless you are factoring in things like grave disability or prominent health issues. and that is because we humans are fickle, each individual decides what they like and what is most appealing to them, it is not something forced upon us from on high.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/26/2009 4:01:14 PM

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Girls all want the weightlifter; guys all want the supermodel.

Clearly you haven't been reading the thread the rest of us have been in. You couldn't PAY me to date a model, even one with a decent personality. Too much time and attention on looks, I get spending an hour getting ready for a serious evening but if I want to walk to the farmers market or go out to a cafe for coffee, 20 minutes ought to do it. Never gonna happen with a model. I want to share dessert, she won't even order one.

NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL

I want a woman who knows when to throw on jeans, pull her hair back and go and when to pull out all the stops.

Same with women, SOME want a weightlifter but most want a guy who isn't an asshole, who can pass a mirror by without looking and who doesn't spend all his day working out looking in the mirror watching the other guys lifting weights.

I sit next to 20 something hotties all day long at school, I wouldn't be interested in them if TWO of them came up with buttplugs in their mouths, pulled their shirts open and one had USE and the other one had US written on their chests. Okay, I might for an evening or two but I would get SO fucking bored and irritated dealing with their crap that I would blow them off. I want a woman with some padding, some wrinkles, a grey hair or two but with experience, with character, who's life has relevance to mine.

Quite a few of the hottest women on CM would agree with me that what they look for in a man is character, for the sum of the parts, not just for tight buns.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/26/2009 5:16:17 PM

Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Clearly you haven't been reading the thread the rest of us have been in. You couldn't PAY me to date a model, even one with a decent personality.

While I agree with you that not all of us like the model type (the supermodel look doesn't do anything for me) and accept that you don't want someone who spends a long time maintaining their looks, surely physical attraction plays some part in who you're attracted to, along with personality?

Speaking for myself, I've dated lasses with a reasonably wide range of body types etc. But the one common factor is that every single one of them was somebody who I liked the idea of seeing naked. Is that really not the case for some people?

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/26/2009 7:50:48 PM

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

There is this notion with some people that a leaner chick wont gobble up the Chinese food. When a woman is a bit leaner it does not mean that she is dieting.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat

(in reply to Apocalypso)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/26/2009 10:29:42 PM

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Clearly you haven't been reading the thread the rest of us have been in. You couldn't PAY me to date a model, even one with a decent personality.

While I agree with you that not all of us like the model type (the supermodel look doesn't do anything for me) and accept that you don't want someone who spends a long time maintaining their looks, surely physical attraction plays some part in who you're attracted to, along with personality?

Not really. I've heard tell His last long term partner was very plain.

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Apocalypso)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/26/2009 10:35:58 PM

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Clearly you haven't been reading the thread the rest of us have been in. You couldn't PAY me to date a model, even one with a decent personality.

While I agree with you that not all of us like the model type (the supermodel look doesn't do anything for me) and accept that you don't want someone who spends a long time maintaining their looks, surely physical attraction plays some part in who you're attracted to, along with personality?

Not really. I've heard tell His last long term partner was very plain.

You are a treasure BSB!!!

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/27/2009 12:52:53 AM

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Clearly you haven't been reading the thread the rest of us have been in. You couldn't PAY me to date a model, even one with a decent personality.

While I agree with you that not all of us like the model type (the supermodel look doesn't do anything for me) and accept that you don't want someone who spends a long time maintaining their looks, surely physical attraction plays some part in who you're attracted to, along with personality?

Speaking for myself, I've dated lasses with a reasonably wide range of body types etc. But the one common factor is that every single one of them was somebody who I liked the idea of seeing naked. Is that really not the case for some people?

Oh, I like the idea of seeing them naked, I was simply saying that what makes me want to see them naked isn't a simple calculation.

(in reply to Apocalypso)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/27/2009 3:43:13 AM

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MARAA

Hello, i would like to ask you about weight and looks. How important is looks and weight for you?
What are you looking after,if any particular?
"The stereotype" girl with long hair, small or not so big body and angelface how important is that?
How many of you would accept larger women? or opposite?
How much do you also look for the inside?
Thank you

I like women with dark eyes and dark hair.......those chocolate coloured eyes have my attention......so much prettier and they speak of warmth to me (a stretch I know but I can't be reasonable all of the time....). When looking 'round a room that is the first thing I'll look for.

I'm not attracted to large women though I do like a few extra pounds.......on a woman with dark hair and dark eyes.

There are certain traits in women or anyone for that matter which I like and dislike....I'm attracted to people who are calm collected and think before they speak...it makes for a much better conversation.

In sum - looks are important to me and so is the personality.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to MARAA)

RE: Looks and weight - 6/27/2009 7:04:48 AM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

quote:

ORIGINAL: MARAA

Hello, i would like to ask you about weight and looks. How important is looks and weight for you?
What are you looking after,if any particular?
"The stereotype" girl with long hair, small or not so big body and angelface how important is that?
How many of you would accept larger women? or opposite?
How much do you also look for the inside?
Thank you

I suppose, when it comes to looks, I'm what most people woud call "shallow". I have reasons that I use to justify this to myself, but we all know how far that goes in public.

I need someone that will look good (to me) in the sort of outfits I design. I need someone who will be capable of pulling off some of the weirder physical stunts and scenes I come up with. I need someone who will turn heads, both in the community and out.

Basically, I need someone that I KNOW other people want. A good deal of my kink involves putting on a good show, so what I need are good performers, which includes having "the look". I sometimes wonder if I'm looking for a romantic partner or holding auditions for an in-progress theatrical production of my life.

Good luck finding a relationship. I'd say you ARE holding auditions.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

Page: << < prev 4 5 [6] 7 8 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Looks and weight

Page: << < prev 4 5 [6] 7 8 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.164