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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:01:38 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

Since I have yet to meet a romantic Dom in person (that I know of) I would say they are an endangered species. :)


LOL Windy...they do exist...you just have to look for those little things they do...simple ones...romance can be found in alot of things, not just the ones that we associate with it ( ie roses,candy, moonlight walks )

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:42:58 PM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		I have been told that I shouldn`t even be on this site........ because I am not looking for a sadist or my limits are too many............Please all I want is a chance.I am not like everyone else who may be into that I am me.......who has alot to offer a Dom outside of S&M.that`s not what it is all about is it?....because then definetely am in the wrong place.

< Message edited by submissivemiss38 -- 1/22/2006 10:44:39 PM >

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/22/2006 10:49:51 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

I have been told that I shouldn`t even be on this site........ because I am not looking for a sadist or my limits are too many............Please all I want is a chance.I am not like everyone else who may be into that I am me.......who has alot to offer a Dom outside of S&M.that`s not what it is all about is it?....because then definetely am in the wrong place.


Well, the important thing is...do YOU think this is the right site for you? Your best bet is to read as much as you can, learn as much as you can, and get out into your community and start meeting people. Nothing compares to knowledge and real life.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 6:24:30 AM   
justatoy2


Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		submissivemiss...not everyone who comes to this site is looking for a masochist. Some just truly want the D/s relationship. I see plenty of Doms out there like that. With profiles that read not looking to beat anyone..and so on. I think you may just be looking a bit too hard. Relax a bit. This is supposed to be a fun adventure. Someone said in a reply that to get to your prince you have to kiss alot of frogs..omg that is so true. Too many frogs i have kissed in my time. But each of them a learning experience for me. Im not saying stop looking..but stop looking soooooo hard for Mr Right.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 6:35:45 AM   
DelRey


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2



sadly to say - the reality looks otherwise....



I can't disagree more. (I am just one example, I am sure there are many more)

I think the bigger issue is, We all say we want "X" then we find someone that offers "X". But after we find out about that person's "A-V" , suddenly "X" don't totally do it for us.

del Rey

(in reply to wouldlike2)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 8:33:56 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

I have been told that I shouldn`t even be on this site........ because I am not looking for a sadist or my limits are too many............Please all I want is a chance.I am not like everyone else who may be into that I am me.......who has alot to offer a Dom outside of S&M.that`s not what it is all about is it?....because then definetely am in the wrong place.


Well...
Remember what I said about remembering what is important to you? The thing you really really need...and about packaging?
Im sure Im like many other subs in that I wasnt gung ho about pain in and of itself. I did not consider myself a masochist. However, I met a man who is everything I had determined, through a lot of soul-searching, that I needed to be happy and fulfilled in a loving relationship. He is, by all accounts, a romantic dominant.
It happens that he is a sadist.

If you would like to discuss masochism, service and this whole topic in general in a more private atmosphere, Im more than willing to be whatever resource to you I can.

I have found that my own masochism is evolving from something I offered as a mode of service and submission to something with its own intrinsic usefulness to me....and its as a result of being in a relationship with a sadist. It is opening me up to a lot of self-exploration and some amazing moments/experiences/opportunities for personal growth.
I hope you find what you need. I also hope you dont miss it.
Be well, h

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 2:39:15 PM   
Marquisd


Posts: 61
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

Since I have yet to meet a romantic Dom in person (that I know of) I would say they are an endangered species. :)



We are taken .

High demand and low supply.

that kinda thingy

cheers

Marquisd

_____________________________

Relationships develop at the speed of trust

"Official Sadist and Dom of the 2010 Winter Games"

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 4:43:38 PM   
Eric8


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline 		Being what I would call a romantic dominant I have to say the most discouraging thing of all is when I find a woman with a wonderful bright witty profile, a beautiful picture, and I chat with her only to find shes been forced to build such high walls to protect herself from the players and the bored. I realize this is not just a sub problem or a ladies problem, we doms are finding the same thing.

What I really suggest is making a list of all the things you really need and a seperate list of all the things you really want in a dom. They might be very different. Keep these lists handy as you meet various doms they will help you enormously in sorting out who is fake and who is real.

Eric

(in reply to Marquisd)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 5:20:03 PM   
wouldlike2


Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline 		Dear DelRey,

i do agree with You that may our expectations are high, determined and we stuck in here, no chances then to see the "real"

but as a fact too - sadly that a lifestyle including words like honesty, respect... and keep on them as a part.. a very important part - in my opinion -

the reality looks otherwise...

it does make the situation not easy at all - smile -

doesn't it??

just my two cents....

(in reply to DelRey)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 7:11:36 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

I am looking for a dom who is fair but firm.....who can control me in the bedroom and out of it..........that would want a 24/7 relationship...a loving one..why are they so hard to find?



Define "romance"?

I have always defined romantic as my partner being intensely focused on interacting with me. That being said, my Lord is extremely romantic, but he is not the flower, hearts and candy type... well unless the candy is chocolate and for him. *w* He's more the "make yourself a flogger this afternoon and have it ready so I can try it out on you tonight" type... which works really well with my definition.

Make sure your image of romantic is realistic, too often I have seen it be based on a fantasy.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 9:37:10 PM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		Eric...........any sugestions of what those lists should include? I am finding this journey all to confusing.

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 10:32:16 PM   
LiddlOne


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/26/2004
Status: offline 		I want to meet this Murphy guy because he's ruling my life. When I search, I always meet the nicest, sweetest, most attentive and romantic doms. In fact, they tend to be heavier on the sweet and less so on the domination ('let-me-give-you-a-bath-with-a bottle-of-your-favorite-champagne-nearby' type, who then thinks it wicked to spank me afterward). Nice, but it can leave me flat. I'm an intensity junky.... not in the kink sense... but in the psychological playground sense... the coming face-to-face with my own fears, beating them down... experiencing deep revelations... my own vulnerability... coming to terms with it... Instead, I mostly get pampered. Not complaining but... perhaps the poster of this message should try for some kind of body switch spell with me....

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 10:40:40 PM   
Eric8


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

Eric...........any sugestions of what those lists should include? I am finding this journey all to confusing.


Sure Mary,

Write a list of everything you want him to be. What he looks like. How he treats you. All of the things that make a man. Write down all the deep things and then all the shallow things. Then put them all together and rate them by importance. That will be your list.

Often times we want very deep meaningful things from a relationship and disqualify a potential partner for something very shallow. Its not right or wrong its just human nature. I know for myself I like incredibly bright women, maybe it is shallow but its what turns me on. Some women dont like big guys, at 6'3 and getting close to 300 Im just glad there are those that do.

I knew a woman that once told me I dont care what he looks like but hes got to drive a jag. Maybe thats not you maybe you want flowers every friday and dont care if what he does. Just remember as you make your list and you rate it that no one else will see it. So dont cheat yourself and rate the guy how you think you should rate him but by whats really important to you.

Chances are the perfect person for you wont be the one that scores 100% on your list so start in the high 80 percentile bracket (say 87% and better). Anyone that doesnt meet your standards say no politely and move on. This does several things for you. It says you are in control of getting what you want. That you wont just take whats offered. That youre ready for something special. Besides who knows maybe your wants will change and that guy you said hell no not in a million years to suddenly becomes exactly what you want and need.

Eric

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 11:17:44 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It seems there are plenty of subs that don't want someone that is romantic (which screws me over).


I've witnessed that too, Wolfie. Not so long ago I met a girl who complained that someone previous overdid the sparkling wine, chocolate, and rose petals bit. Then when *I* didn't do the sparkling wine, chocolate, and rose petals bit, she complained bitterly. (sigh)


(in reply to wolffeathers)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 11:22:19 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

I have been told that I shouldn`t even be on this site........ because I am not looking for a sadist or my limits are too many............Please all I want is a chance.I am not like everyone else who may be into that I am me.......who has alot to offer a Dom outside of S&M.that`s not what it is all about is it?....because then definetely am in the wrong place.


Don't let anyone tell you what the 'rules' are. Make requirements for yourself that feel right.

A few years ago a switch called Lady Green/Verdant used to give seminars, and she commented that anyone who liked being controlled, liked a slap on the ass or fantasized about servitude or read romance novels was in the club.

Anyway, we consider you a member in good standing.

Be sure to mail $29.95 in annual dues to Post Office Box 60…

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 11:24:17 PM   
NotN2U


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline 		Yep. I was once a romantic Dom (if a label need be applied). After years of trying to remain such I figured out that all it got me was disappointment, heartache and grief. It would seem there is no call left on the world for romance, and even less in the lifestyle. I just quit trying to be a hero and do CPR on romance to keep it alive. I guess somewhere along the way I figured if no one else cares, why should I? The world seems to love a cynical, non-feeling jerk-off... so I just learned to be one. Funny thing is: hurts a lot less than the other way.
Everyone says they want romance... nearly no one wants to work to keep it alive by giving it back.

< Message edited by NotN2U -- 1/23/2006 11:27:22 PM >

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 11:32:46 PM   
wouldlike2


Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Everyone says they want romance... nearly no one wants to work to keep it alive by giving it back.


... so true.....

and it does not just concern the topic of romantic - smile -

to keep things ongoing it does need work... we need to shelter....

is it love - emotions - feelings - communication - sharing the thuoghts - our views - opinions... and i could get on and on and on... ,-))

no connection - no relationship does just exist - even not a friendship.... Yum Yum!!

(in reply to NotN2U)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 11:34:49 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

I have been told that I shouldn`t even be on this site........ because I am not looking for a sadist or my limits are too many............Please all I want is a chance.I am not like everyone else who may be into that I am me.......who has alot to offer a Dom outside of S&M.that`s not what it is all about is it?....because then definetely am in the wrong place.


If you are in the wrong place then so am I and so must a good many of the people I've been reading on here. You seem to know what you want, don't stop till you either find it or find a person that you have a spark enough with that you find yourself considering more than you first thought.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/23/2006 11:48:18 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NotN2U

Yep. I was once a romantic Dom (if a label need be applied). After years of trying to remain such I figured out that all it got me was disappointment, heartache and grief. It would seem there is no call left on the world for romance, and even less in the lifestyle. I just quit trying to be a hero and do CPR on romance to keep it alive. I guess somewhere along the way I figured if no one else cares, why should I? The world seems to love a cynical, non-feeling jerk-off... so I just learned to be one. Funny thing is: hurts a lot less than the other way.
Everyone says they want romance... nearly no one wants to work to keep it alive by giving it back.


I can certainly empathise with the sentiment. You get kicked enough times and you definatly do wonder if it is worth it.

However I know what pushes my buttons and if the world knocks me down for not being a non-feeling jerk-off I'm going to get back up and keep looking till I find what I want. To me being strong enough to keep going when you know you are right is just part of being a Dom

(in reply to NotN2U)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 4:58:32 AM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		Ravenmuse and notn2u.why do you have to live so far away!!!!!!! lol . Pertruchio.glad I`m in ..but I`m not paying lol.Thanks everyone for your advice.and Eric.......my list would be to great....afraid I`m too picky.But Tall men......yummy! lol Take Care all..............

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

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Profile   Post #: 40
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