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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 2:43:53 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well, Lam is taken but i have a bus with LaMsPeach's name on it, ROFLMAO.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 1/26/2006 2:44:35 AM >

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 12:18:57 PM   
BriansGirl


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NotN2U

Yep. I was once a romantic Dom (if a label need be applied). After years of trying to remain such I figured out that all it got me was disappointment, heartache and grief. It would seem there is no call left on the world for romance, and even less in the lifestyle. I just quit trying to be a hero and do CPR on romance to keep it alive. I guess somewhere along the way I figured if no one else cares, why should I? The world seems to love a cynical, non-feeling jerk-off... so I just learned to be one. Funny thing is: hurts a lot less than the other way.
Everyone says they want romance... nearly no one wants to work to keep it alive by giving it back.


OUCH!

(in reply to NotN2U)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 12:52:04 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Everyone says they want romance... nearly no one wants to work to keep it alive by giving it back.


Ummmmh! Too often too true.

(in reply to BriansGirl)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 1:34:53 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Everyone says they want romance... nearly no one wants to work to keep it alive by giving it back.


sigh
say it ain't so

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 1:36:36 PM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		Today is not a good day...lots of crying spent the day in bed.....Iwish doms would understand that when you are a new you don`t know anything about the lifestyle or what is expected of you. Last night camming with a Dom who told me to take the submissive pose......"How the hell am I supposed to know wha that is"? Then he got mad and yelled at me.......... Give us new submissives a break . Please..........P.S. it says vanilla beside my name for a reason.

< Message edited by submissivemiss38 -- 1/26/2006 1:38:08 PM >

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 2:06:21 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Ok, first...before you start playing with people you don't even know...

read everything you can...I have some links I put together for a friend. If you would like a copy of them email me. I will be happy to send them to you.

For me, (personally...not everyone) I can't play with someone I don't have a connection with and feelings for. The reason I usually do have a connection with this person is because we have talked long enough, and I feel I know him well enough to be open...and not be treated badly.

Please learn more before you get yourself into something you may not know how to get out of...

Christina

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 2:17:41 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Iwish doms would understand that when you are a new you don`t know anything about the lifestyle or what is expected of you.


Forget him and take xxblush up on her offer. It sounds like he was 'having sensitivity problems', to put it politely.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 3:13:52 PM   
justatoy2


Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		submissivemiss, please don't play the o/l game. Listen to the advice on here. Most of it is very good. Read read read, educate yourself. Then find some kind of local group where you can get out and meet like minded people. Don't play the cyber o/l sex game. Uggh.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 3:28:47 PM   
meridia


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

Today is not a good day...lots of crying spent the day in bed.....Iwish doms would understand that when you are a new you don`t know anything about the lifestyle or what is expected of you. Last night camming with a Dom who told me to take the submissive pose......"How the hell am I supposed to know wha that is"? Then he got mad and yelled at me.......... Give us new submissives a break . Please..........P.S. it says vanilla beside my name for a reason.


you know what i would have done? i would have knelt in front of him with my head bowed, because that's what i define as a submissive pose. if that wasn't what he had in mind, or that wasn't good enough, it's his responsibility to clarify his instructions, not my responsibility to read his mind.

if something like that happens again, just do the best you can... no dom/me can fault you for that.

_____________________________

why couldn't you just put the bunny back in the box?

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 5:11:21 PM   
justatoy2


Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		oh and it says vanilla by your name because that relates to the number of times you have posted in this forum. Not for how experienced you are. Cheers.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 7:13:06 PM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		oh.thanks justatoy2......how Duh of me lol. I am taking the advice here beleive me......and as for going to a club on my own ......well just too damn shy.........I need training before that would happen....... but are there not couples on here who do see each other in real life but because of distance have to cyber?

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to justatoy2)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 11:41:46 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

oh.thanks justatoy2......how Duh of me lol. I am taking the advice here beleive me......and as for going to a club on my own ......well just too damn shy.........I need training before that would happen....... but are there not couples on here who do see each other in real life but because of distance have to cyber?


Firstly I am hoping you have taken xxblushesxx up on her offer of info.

I think you are right about the club, if there is one in your area maybe you could get a more confident male friend to take you, someone who maybe more vanilla but so long as they are open minded they might find it fun too. Not like you are going there to jump into a scene, just to see what its like and to keep you safe whilst you meet a few more local folks.

As for cyber, as xxblushesxx mentions, such people have often had time to build up trust before moving to that situation. Some don't need to, some don't want too.... but look at your experience and have a think about what you need in order for it to be safe and enjoyable before rushing back into it OK?

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 3:57:42 AM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		I will be taking the time today to go through all your replies and write down your advice.I have received peronal e-mails with lots of wisdom also. I will also compile a list of what I am searching for in a Dom and then I will have it ready to read to any perspective Master.........So then it will be crystal clear to him what I want .He can either take it or leave it. Thank-you all once again for being here for me............

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 9:46:00 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		since you never did write me, I went ahead and sent you the info...I have lots of good sites and articles if anyone is interested or needs anything...

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 11:23:29 AM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		Thank-you very much xxblushesxx.........and I just sent you a message. I will definetely check out the links.......RavenMuse what does the term "ponce" mean? I have a question? Has a Master ever told any of you subs that he would not F*ck you.because he wanted to keep you on a short leash?

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 11:26:53 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38
Has a Master ever told any of you subs that he would not F*ck you.because he wanted to keep you on a short leash?

Yes, denial is a very powerful tool to inspire devotion and need, and to make another feel controlled.

Unfortunately many new doms take it too far and equate saying "no" with being dominant, such that they feel saying "yes" will somehow become being not dominant.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 11:44:32 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38
RavenMuse what does the term "ponce" mean?


Ah, my old habit of using a slang term that does not translate well traveling over the pond.

I believe it originated as a term for an effeminate pimp.

Used over here (At least in parts of the north) as a deregratory term for someone who is not very manly, usualy with a sleezy overtone.

Edit: Checking where I used it in the mail... if you read "Some ponce" as denoting a generic unplesent male of whom you would be wise to be wary, then you will have the way it was ment.

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 1/27/2006 11:50:38 AM >

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 4:21:28 PM   
IceyOne


Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

So then it will be crystal clear to him what I want .He can either take it or leave it.


there you go, that's the spirit

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 4:48:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

Today is not a good day...lots of crying spent the day in bed.....Iwish doms would understand that when you are a new you don`t know anything about the lifestyle or what is expected of you. Last night camming with a Dom who told me to take the submissive pose......"How the hell am I supposed to know wha that is"? Then he got mad and yelled at me.......... Give us new submissives a break . Please..........P.S. it says vanilla beside my name for a reason.

Uhhh see they KNOW you are new, that's why they go to you. The experienced ones would blow their cover immediately.

You they try and fool- and when you do normal things, they will do whatever they can to get you to do what they want.

You're a strong adult woman. That didn't change because yougot into this. Treat this like a fully mature capable woman would. Do what works for you. You ARE behaving like a doormat if you let any guy online just make you cry.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 6:39:17 PM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I am looking for a dom who is fair but firm.....who can control me in the bedroom and out of it..........that would want a 24/7 relationship...a loving one..why are they so hard to find?


Well, you're looking for someone to settle down with you from a much smaller pool of men than the general population who are probably more likely, not less, to want to keep their options open and play the field than the population in general. The law of averages is decidedly not on your side. If you thought it was going to be easier in the life because you're offering to submit than it is out there in vanilla land, you miscalculated.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 1/27/2006 6:43:40 PM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 80
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