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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 7:22:24 PM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
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LuckyAlbatross.............it wasn`t so much the guy that upset me but that I am frustrated . Like you said I am a reasonably mature person and I know being new ......Experienced doms and those just into the scene will try and take advantage of my naivety. But I think I am much better equipped this week than I was 7 days ago and I can go into this feeling better prepared and speaking up about my wants and needs.......yes Doms it`s not all about your wants and needs..............we count in the grand scheme of things.....it would only be to your advantage to listen to us

< Message edited by submissivemiss38 -- 1/27/2006 7:23:11 PM >

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 7:31:03 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38
yes Doms it`s not all about your wants and needs..............we count in the grand scheme of things.....it would only be to your advantage to listen to us

Probably accurate for submissives but not valid for a kajira. I'd keep away from Gor if you feel that way about things.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 7:59:39 PM

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38
yes Doms it`s not all about your wants and needs..............we count in the grand scheme of things.....it would only be to your advantage to listen to us

LMAO, someones just a little arrogant, isn't she? And this is too funny:

quote:

He can either take it or leave it.

You'll find most will leave it, I'm afraid. Again, if you are unbendable in your search, what makes you think someone should bend to you?

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 8:23:13 PM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline

I haven`t figured out how to quote some parts of messages but Iron Bear.....here is my naivety showing again.......what is a kajira? is it a term meaning slave.........and what is I would stay away from gor if that is how you see things? Sorry but I am brand spanking new to this lol

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 8:41:44 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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I am usually reluctant to contribute much in these message forums due to my utter lack of experience..however I was drawn to comment..so please bear with me ..to submissivemiss...I am curious as to how much research you did before you decided to be "submissive"?IMHO..most of the Doms here do listen to the submissives ..however this does not mean they have to agree with one.I understand your frustrations as I am sure most have had the same frustrations Dom and sub alike in their search for their mate.Be patient...take a deep breath..enjoy the journey and all that entails.and be well...Tempting

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 9:04:05 PM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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And please- do the right thing and do NOT choose to get into ANY committed situation for at least six months- this includes a "protector" a "mentor" a "dom" or any other sort of commitment.

Just you, learning.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 9:29:41 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

I haven`t figured out how to quote some parts of messages but Iron Bear.....here is my naivety showing again.......what is a kajira? is it a term meaning slave.........and what is I would stay away from gor if that is how you see things? Sorry but I am brand spanking new to this lol

Your naivety is fine lass we all started that way at some time.. Ok a kajira is a female Gorean slave (kajirus is a male Gorean slave). My comments about staying away from Gor is based on your comments. Slaves generally and specifically Gorean slaves have no rights other than to get up and leave the relationship. They only have the names which their owners give then and can be changed is his or her whim. They are totally owned. They are property nothing more or less. Yet they are much loved property in the main and most Gorean masters enjoy intelligent and well informed conversations with their property. Unlike the BDSM slave or submissive, our life style and the slaves are orientated towards service. Thus the whole reason for a kajira is to be pleasing to her owner and other Gorean Frees (Gorean Dominants). In my view allowing for your newness in the lifestyle, Gor would in all probability be the worst place for you to find your feet. Later perhaps if you feel the fire burning deep in your belly and a desperate need to be owned you may then look at either a normal TPE slave situation or even Gor. In the mean time, I suggest you may enjoy reading the threads in the Gorean Lifestyle Forum here on CM.

As for showing quotes, at the top of each post and to the right, you will see the word “Quote” (Reply Quote Find). Click on that and your posting box will open so you can respond to the original post you were reading. If you want to use multi quotes then do the same for each but highlight the whole contents of the quote and do a copy/paste back to your original posting box with your other quotes and then close the box you copied from….

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/27/2006 11:02:57 PM

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline

HAY WHY R U MAKING IT SO MUCH HARDER FOR US TROLS?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And please- do the right thing and do NOT choose to get into ANY committed situation for at least six months- this includes a "protector" a "mentor" a "dom" or any other sort of commitment.

Just you, learning.

_____________________________

LRODANDMASTER TYPE LIKE DUMASS BUT HIM NO DUMASS

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 6:02:56 AM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline

LuckyAlbatross.I have been thinking about this lifestyle for the last year....but you are right I do need to read more to learn everything I can. Thank-you IronBear for the explanations .will definetely read the posts about that subject. Mr. Discipline44 I am trying to relax on my expectations. Tempting..........thanks for you support.

< Message edited by submissivemiss38 -- 1/28/2006 6:04:41 AM >

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to LRODANDMASTER)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 6:14:36 AM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline

ok I have another question but didn`t think it necessary to start a new post......I am a person that loves to smile and laugh big time! I have been told by some people that subs rarely smile...........I don`t want to turn into that kind of sub.........what are your thoughts?

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

Smiling was RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 6:16:26 AM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38
I am a person that loves to smile and laugh big time! I have been told by some people that subs rarely smile...........I don`t want to turn into that kind of sub.........what are your thoughts?

I wouldn't want a sub who didn't smile. Just look at Libby's picture on my profile. It's like the purring of a kitten; it makes you feel good.

Another one of my submissives has the scene name "Smiler" just because of her bright, happy smile. In the old day's I'd attach her picture to this message but the board has had to cut that feature.

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 1/28/2006 6:18:16 AM >

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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 6:49:02 AM

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

ok I have another question but didn`t think it necessary to start a new post......I am a person that loves to smile and laugh big time! I have been told by some people that subs rarely smile...........I don`t want to turn into that kind of sub.........what are your thoughts?

I wouldn't want to be with any one that didn't smile or laugh. I would say that's the stupidest thing you've been told so far, submiss. The Dom that doesn't want you to smile is the Dom you need to stay away from. This is all in my opinion, of course. I take joy in the smiles of my girls. (Yeah, I know, this is a shocker from an asshole like me. But you don't know everything just from a few post on a message board

) If they didn't smile, I would know that something was wrong. Thats my two cents worth.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 7:22:58 AM

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

ok I have another question but didn`t think it necessary to start a new post......I am a person that loves to smile and laugh big time! I have been told by some people that subs rarely smile...........I don`t want to turn into that kind of sub.........what are your thoughts?

Check the thread 'Fun factor' further down the 'ask a Master' board. I think you will see that whoever told you that is very much in the minority.

My thoughts.... If their experience is that subs rarely smile then possibly they are doing it wrong!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44
I wouldn't want to be with any one that didn't smile or laugh. I would say that's the stupidest thing you've been told so far, submiss. The Dom that doesn't want you to smile is the Dom you need to stay away from. This is all in my opinion, of course. I take joy in the smiles of my girls. (Yeah, I know, this is a shocker from an asshole like me. But you don't know everything just from a few post on a message board ) If they didn't smile, I would know that something was wrong. Thats my two cents worth.

I actualy agree with MrDiscipline44.

There IS a first time for everything

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 7:38:22 AM

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline

Dear IronBear,

quote:

Yet they are much loved property in the main and most Gorean masters enjoy intelligent and well informed conversations with their property.

with all respect i do not really agree with Your words here in general.
i did had some talkings with Masters and Doms as well.

a proberty is a proberty is a proberty............like a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.....

.. and yes there exist Masters they do love their proberty, but also there exist Masters they do respect them - nothing more.
so often i heard it is not necessary that love will be there - neither from the slave - neither from the Master.
based on an agreement and a need both they have to fulfill their desires....

Love and Romance in that lifestyle is a point often discussed and in searching the posts and threads here on the forum there exist a lot of different opinions. nothing wrong with.....

for me as long as its consensual --- all is fine----

at least it is a question of compatibility like we have in vanilla too.

would i be with someone who hate to hug in vanilla when i desire and need to hug? probably not - it is supposed to fail...
it is the same in that lifestyle too....

but back to Your words - smile -

a lot of Masters see in a slave just a proberty and far away from love, to get involved emotional depending on different reasons.... so definitly i would not support Your words in general... - smile -

sorry about my english/ i am not a native english speaker

pet

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 7:40:19 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

ok I have another question but didn`t think it necessary to start a new post......I am a person that loves to smile and laugh big time! I have been told by some people that subs rarely smile...........I don`t want to turn into that kind of sub.........what are your thoughts?

Some people want sullen serious slaves, and some want enjoyable slaves who laugh a lot.

Find what works for you.

THink of anything- some people will love it and some will hate it. Figure out where you are and find someone who sits about there too.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 7:48:18 AM

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline

supporting Your words...

quote:

If you thought it was going to be easier in the life because you're offering to submit than it is out there in vanilla land, you miscalculated.

... damn i did forgot theory of relativity and to calculate... i knew i was missing some - smile -

i couldn't resist

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 7:49:06 AM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Well...if we're not supposed to smile....uhm...guess I'm in trouble.

Of course, I get a bit of a pass by being in the SAM category...or even the much maligned and totally misunderstood 'brat' category. (the brats I know over at the Master Baiters group on bondage, all know when to tease and when to shut up...what is appropriate and what isn't...but...that's just mnsho...*lol*)

The doms I know...the ones I believe in and trust, respect and look up to, all comment on my humour and my 'openness'. (in a positive way!)

Be yourself. When there is a connection you'll know it. Until then, don't 'play' just talk and get to know them as people. I really think you're setting yourself up for heartbreak or worse, if you don't.

*the above advice is geared toward the OP, it is not one size fits all, nor is it meant to be. Some can play v easily and casually, and that's ok too.*

(in reply to wouldlike2)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 8:10:18 AM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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pet,

I base my comments from personal experience and by associating with other Goreans as well as many discussions over the years with those in the US and US who I recognise as my peers. only one Gorean Master I personally know does not love his girl. Like all my comments tend to be based on personal knowledge or from what I believe to be reliable sources. However I will agree what not every Gorean Master cherishes their property, or desire intelligent conversations with them. Yet I will state than many do. From discussions with non Gorean Dominants (owners of either slaves or submissives), I understand that my comments regardig loving and looking after their sub/slaves and enjoying the social interaction such as discussions would appear to be the majority. Still my circle of contacts on a personal level is not large and tends to be with my local lifestylers with a number of close friends in both the USA and UK with whome I talk on a reasonably regular basis on live and on occasions on the phone.

Perhaps we move in different circles due to locational reasons.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to wouldlike2)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 8:28:31 AM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline

ok I`m having information overload...I need to take a breather........MrDiscipline....you and I would not get along well.

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/28/2006 9:16:30 AM

krys

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

ok I have another question but didn`t think it necessary to start a new post......I am a person that loves to smile and laugh big time! I have been told by some people that subs rarely smile...........I don`t want to turn into that kind of sub.........what are your thoughts?

You have a lot of posts stating you are told by other people. Please keep in mind that a lot of people have their own agenda for things, and you should always keep in mind (especially being new and looking to learn) what that agenda might be.

You stated that you were told that you don't belong here because you are not a masochist. Well, not being a masochist probably only means you wouldn't be a good match for a Sadist. But since not every Dominant person here is a Sadist, you belong just fine. Some people will send you mean spirited emails for no other reason than to make themselves feel better. The good news is, it gives you a real clue on who you want to avoid. If you read through posts for awhile, you will probably notice people that make statements as to what is "real" or "true" are generally not well received.

You were told to assume a submissive position, and were yelled at for not knowing which one to assume. Well, I can't really fault you on that one. First of all you're new. Second of all, there are a LOT of submissive positions one can assume, and he probably should have been more specific. However "How the hell am I supposed to know what that is?" does come off a touch argumentative. Perhaps next time you might try "I would be happy to, but I am rather new at all this, what do you have in mind?" If someone assumes that you are to have the psychic ability to know what they consider a "submissive position" without any training or input, after having asked politely, I would suggest wishing them luck in their search for a psychic, and move along. A simple default position would be kneeling, knees spread, back straight, head lowered, palms face up on the knees.

As for subs not smiling, well, I know a great many that do. Master likes seeing me smile, and will fine ways to make me do so on even a terrible day. So you may want to add "sense of humor" to your needs list.

Yes, having standards may make your search take longer. But it will probably be more rewarding in the end. You can either decide to settle for thinking of yourself as one of a million subs. Or you can strive to think of yourself as a one in a million sub. Either way, good luck in your search.

_____________________________

Krys

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

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