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RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 5:42:52 AM

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

Ravenmuse and notn2u.why do you have to live so far away!!!!!!! lol .

Alas I problem I've encountered a number of times. The net lets us find great people all over the globe but it doesn't do anything about the thousands of miles the real world often puts between them. Friends can be anywhere but its SO frustrating when you find someone that could be so much more if only they where closer.

However, you should at least be reasured that there ARE folks out there that are close to what you are looking for so, if you keep looking then you must eventualy find it in someone closer. Heres hoping that you find them sooner than you think

quote:

But Tall men......yummy! lol Take Care all..............

We aren't tall, just other folks tend to be short

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 8:37:26 AM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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For those who complain about being romantic, and not having those feelings reciprocated, did you ever think you may have been being romantic with someone who was not 'for' you?

There may be someone open to the possibilities right under your nose. Are you sure you're not over-looking someone?

When it's right, it's right, and, mostly, it's not. It's fun to try to find that 'connection' but, if everyone were able to have that with just anyone, well, it wouldn't be that special anymore, would it?

Just a thought...

(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 8:58:48 AM

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38
.......my list would be to great....afraid I`m too picky.

Seems you just answered your own question here. You're being too picky. You have this long list that defines the "perfect" dom. Noones perfect. Noone will match every little flippin thing on your list. Get over it, get out there and meet people. People think that BDSM is a magical cure for their inability to find their "perfect" guy. It isn't, it's like anyother dating scene. You may go through thousand guys and not one of them will be the "perfect" match for what you're looking for.

quote:

Ravenmuse and notn2u.why do you have to live so far away!!!!!!!

So if this guy is in another city and a potential match you're going to let him slip away because you're too lazy to get up and go meet him? Come on!! Thats BS. As it was once said in another thread, you're shooting yourself in the foot and you have noone to blame but yourself for it.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 9:49:40 AM

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Joined: 10/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

It seems there are plenty of subs that don't want someone that is romantic (which screws me over).

I've witnessed that too, Wolfie. Not so long ago I met a girl who complained that someone previous overdid the sparkling wine, chocolate, and rose petals bit. Then when *I* didn't do the sparkling wine, chocolate, and rose petals bit, she complained bitterly. (sigh)

To most women, ok, to me.....romance is not the superimposing of cliches on a relationship.

Romance is paying attention to what is important to a particular person and being engaged and present on a deep level consistently. You cant fake that with chocolate and sparkling (blech!) wine.

The only time the whole wine and roses and chocolate thing works is if its so out of character that she'd expect anything else first. And the only thing it works for is a minor fit confusion during which you might be able to sweep her off her feet and f*ck her real quick before she realizes whats happening.

Cliche'd expressions of romance are boring and for me a huge turnoff.
I say: tie me up, make me cry, read me a poem and then f*ck me in the ass.

That, my friends, that is romance.

(edited for profanity which is not at all ladylike)

< Message edited by justheather -- 1/24/2006 9:50:51 AM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to Petruchio)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 10:46:22 AM

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Justheather: You rock! Omg i needed that laugh!

I think my version would be...tie me up, spank my ass, make me talk dirty and then tell me you love me.

typesgirl

(in reply to justheather)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 10:53:20 AM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline

MrDiscipline44....I would say to you..get over yourself! I know how unsubmissive of me.

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to typesgirl)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 11:13:37 AM

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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Seems someone doesn't like it if they aren't getting their tushy kissed. I know, I know, truth hurts when it slaps you in the face. Too bad. Get over it and move on, deary. Whining about it isn't going to change the facts, love.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 11:18:05 AM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline

I like my ass spanked...............Just don`t like smart asses.

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 11:48:24 AM

Posts: 164
Status: offline

Are you sure you have not already been contacted by him and you blew him off as being a player because of so many players hitting on you. Already you might be turned off and you blew that one off because he did not responded the way you wanted him to do. A good card player do not give away all of his cards at once so why would a Dominate what to tell you every thing about him in the first response. That is why you take your time to strike up a conversation and see if he is the one. To get to know some one takes time and allot of e mails so you guys learn about each. If you expect to see red flags you will always see red flags if you take the time to find out what the person is like you might be surprise.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 12:33:05 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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A romantic Dom??? I guess even Gorean Masters have some romance in them.. I've been known to sit with a lerge demijon of meade and romance a tree whilst watching a rock grow.. Or was that romancing a rock and watching the tree grow.. no, wait, I have it I was romancing my Irish Setter I had at the time whilst watching the sugar cane grow.. I dont know who drank most of the meade but we sang the night away untill the neighbours called the police .......

What you are looking for lass, is what I seek except I seek a slave who will fit into a poly home. They seem to few and far between sightings but in time one will come along who is ideal for you.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 12:46:06 PM

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Joined: 10/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I've been known to sit with a lerge demijon of meade and romance a tree whilst watching a rock grow..

Are you certain that was meade? The guy who gave it to you wasnt named Leary, was he?

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 1:16:02 PM

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Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I've been known to sit with a lerge demijon of meade and romance a tree whilst watching a rock grow..

Are you certain that was meade? The guy who gave it to you wasnt named Leary, was he?

Hmmmm welllll noooooooooo. I make my own meade and after putting into flaggons with a quartered peach or suitable herbs, it stands in the cool dark (well as cool as I can get it in Queensland) for two years before imbibing my fill. ( Looks about and asks "Who said swilling???") But I am part Irish y'know.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to justheather)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 10:17:53 PM

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Joined: 2/6/2005
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Thanks, Heather, for your explanation.

I felt the wine, roses, and chocolates wasn't *me*, at least not in the opening sequence of a relationship, but I wasn't able to put my finger on why I felt it was not right.

(in reply to justheather)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/24/2006 10:19:13 PM

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Joined: 2/6/2005
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quote:

Are you certain that was meade? The guy who gave it to you wasnt named Leary, was he?

(laughing)

(in reply to justheather)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/25/2006 9:56:49 AM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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JustHeather:

quote:

Romance is paying attention to what is important to a particular person and being engaged and present on a deep level consistently.

I couldn't agree more. For me, romance is not found in the big things, it never has been. It's a lot of little things that show me he's paying attention....a comment here, a gesture there. Those are the important things.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Petruchio)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/25/2006 11:03:59 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

Mary,

They are hard to find because they are not common. The higher your expectations and requirements, the harder it is to find what you want. Long-term love and romance are complicated, not easy for anyone to find. Fleeting lust is really easy to find!

Your opportunities increase if you can compromise on some of your wishes.

The good news is that you can find the Dom you want. As long as you are determined and persistent, you will probably find him. It may take some time and effort though.

Here are some random ideas:
* Be a little flexible in your expectations. Perhaps you can love a shorter man than you think you can?
* Be the best person you can be, make yourself a more desirable sub. Can you improve your appearance even more? Perhaps a new skill?
* Increase your "marketing". Mix in different circles, take up different interests. Investigate alternative websites. Write interesting articles about your experiences for publication. Join local BDSM clubs.
* Are you open to introducing a new Dom to the lifestyle? In your vanilla life, keep looking for men who take charge and have confidence.
* Refine your marketing. Adjust your profile to better describe what you want, to emphasize love and romance. Let the reader know what you have to offer, so they know you are the sub/slave that they will want to meet.
* Keep looking! Sure, take a break once in a while, but don’t get discouraged, don’t give up on your dreams.

Wishing you the best,
-SeattleDomain.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/25/2006 3:27:13 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

i guess i got lucky... i have what i'd call a romantic Dom. he and i started romantically at first, he'd been into BDSM before but i hadn't, and as our relationship has grown we've added that aspect of things to it. he's willing to go as slowly as i need him to, and even when he's in Master-mode, it's made clear that Master loves slave as much as soon-to-be-husband loves soon-to-be-wife.

don't look for someone who's "perfect". look for someone who fits you "perfectly." i once defined that as "someone whose flaws fit your flaws." and kudos to you if the person whose flaws fit yours also happens to be the Dom you're looking for.

_____________________________

why couldn't you just put the bunny back in the box?

(in reply to SeattleDomain)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/25/2006 4:42:59 PM

submissivemiss38

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline

Meridia and SeattleDomain Thank-you for your advice and support.I have had the opportinity to meet several Doms. But I am petrified shitless of some of them. How do I know when a Dom says he will respect my limits that he will not actually try to seriously harm me?

_____________________________

From Mary in Ottawa..........

(in reply to meridia)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/25/2006 9:05:47 PM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

Meridia and SeattleDomain Thank-you for your advice and support.I have had the opportinity to meet several Doms. But I am petrified shitless of some of them. How do I know when a Dom says he will respect my limits that he will not actually try to seriously harm me?

In short, you don't. It's like a vanilla date. "How do I know that once he gets me alone he won't rape me?"

Give trust slowly and in small increments and see if it's abused.

One advantage of club play is there are people around who can enforce a safeword, but the bottom line for all of this is to get to know the person you are playing with. It's not all that different from day to day life in the vanilla world. I had coworkers I'd give my car keys to and others I wouldn't trust to hold my coat. Why? Because of past interactions with myself and others.

Take your time; keep your eyes open

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

RE: Are there no Romantic doms out there? - 1/26/2006 12:50:14 AM

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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They're hard to find because the doms you describe tend to have plenty of women available to them.

Sorry to hit you with bad news, but if you want to find a great dom, you're probably going to have to take a number.

Lam

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

I am looking for a dom who is fair but firm.....who can control me in the bedroom and out of it..........that would want a 24/7 relationship...a loving one..why are they so hard to find?

(in reply to submissivemiss38)

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