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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 2:12:35 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
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quote:

In fact the guy I hope is going to be the Dom for me was also really happy.  <snip>  My only worry is He has not contacted me hardly at all in fact only twice for about 3-5 min ea time.  


From talking to him for approx 10 minutes you've decided he's the Dom for you?


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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 6:12:55 AM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
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From: Indy
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

In their situation as long as they are not about to be made homeless, should they be cast aside by the majority of the lifestyle?

Do their character, experience and good name as a sensible and safe Dominant count for nothing?

In other words, is there a financial level in which we as a lifestyle turn our backs and try to forget that they exist?

What say you Dominants and what say you sub/slaves?



I'd have to say no in My case as while Im far from 'well off', I do get by. Some folks who know Me locally know My situation and yet have been asked several times to do shibari and rope demos. So IMHO I believe everyone can have something to offer, regardless of financial status, short of being homeless.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 6:16:40 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

So IMHO I believe everyone can have something to offer, regardless of financial status, short of being homeless.


Oh GREAT!!!!!!!

Now we are going to start having the homeless sector complaining about not being considered "twu doms".. THANKS ALOT SirLordTrainer...

<absolutely stated tongue in cheek>

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 6:35:32 AM   
SexyAngryFem


Posts: 59
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From: FL
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I think someone unable to control their own finances is someone I'd question as able to control another human being.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 7:03:40 AM   
withthesewings


Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
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Alot of Doms, not all..but quite a few have "Champagne tastes with beer budgets", when it comes to their choice in subs. They want a gorgeous sub...but dont want any part of the "upkeep" and maintance of their "property".

Meaning: For instance if I were a single-parent sub, low income, who had to concentrate on paying bills and etc. and did not have the funds for the "extras" that a sub likes to have to please her Master (perhaps, lingerie...hair maintance, nice nails and toes, waxing? etc..) if a Dom of mine appreciated those things and wanted me as his sub to have them, then I would appreciate a little help with the cost of it. So..yea, in that aspect..a stable income would be nice...:)



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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 7:04:50 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
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Financially, I tend to be an edge player.  In looking at the choice between mothering my kids, and pursuing my career, I've chosen mothering.  Since my divorce, this has also meant choosing to get by on a very low income.

I keep finances out of dating and other similar interactions, bd/sm style or vanilla.  I expect to pay my own way, and avoid things I can't afford.  This doesn't mean I insist on actually paying my way on a date, because I don't.  Alot of guys seem to get something out of picking up the tab and I'm not the sort of person to withhold that kind of satisfaction.  It just means, I am ready and willing to pay my own
way.

People in different socioeconomic brackets have different lifestyles and I tend to prefer spending time with others who are in roughly the same circumstances as me.  It just makes things easier, and, in all honesty, I'm kind of used to my rough and tumble, a bit ragged at the edges way of doing things, and doubt I could go upscale.

So, no, I don't have a problem with low income doms.   If they're basically responsible with their money and are able to make do with what they have, I would probably think its a good thing.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 7:37:59 AM   
MasterEnki


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What do you consider "Low-Income"?  I agree with SirLordTrainer, as long as a Dom\mme has food on the table and a roof over their head they can care for a sub\slave. 

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 7:46:45 AM   
Amaros


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I've always made a distinction between standard of living and quality of life - I've nothing against a modicum of comfort - I've started with nothing more than once, and came out fine.

I'm less prone to walk away from what I have now, this iteration seems to be working out pretty well, and there's the kids to consider, but I'm not out to impress anybody with how much debt I can accrue to buy a bunch of fancy shit I don't need, maybe it's the way I was raised - I could hit the lottery tomorrow and it probobly wouldn't make a huge impact on my lifestyle.

I'd travel a bit more is about all.

Part of the entreprenurial trap is when you end up working twice as hard and long for the same amount of money - to me it's trade off, my free time is more valuable to me than what somebody thinks about me based on whether I'm driving a new car or not, I have different priorites.

It's the old conundrum: in order to have a lot of money, you have to work so hard and long that you never really get to enjoy it. In my line of work, I can pretty much work as much as I want, I turn down work all the time because I'd rather have time to do other things - like spend time with my kids.

'Course they'll also tell you that working for a living is for suckers these days anyway, which is also a sad state of affairs.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 10/4/2006 7:56:17 AM   
patina


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No there had been initial contact before that.  I meant after I agreeded to change my profile to an inactive status.  Sorry for not being more clear. 

I feel we need to discuss a lot of issues dealing with moving, my income, pets, likes and dislikes of each, furniture, cars, medical, dr., a lot of these issues need to be resolved before I even start to move. 



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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 9:42:03 AM   
fetishnoob


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i feel that there is in fact a minimum level not just for doms but for any man who would be in a serious relationship, and that leve is simply  that you have a habitable place to live and are secure in the knowledge that the utilities won't be shut off or that you'll be on the street  any time soon,   if  one can't meet this small requirment then how can one in good conscience take responsibility for another?

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 12:31:36 PM   
bipolarber


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I think fetishnoob has it right: if you're going to be in the pool at all, you should at least be able to support yourself. I've met several women over the years... online... who, after the inital pleasantries, wanted to know if I had a job or not. (I always have... I don't think there has ever been a break in my employment record of more than a couple of months.) Talking to them further, all of these women have had the nasty expereince of getting involved with some leech who would sit on the couch, playing his guitar and watching porn, rather than contributing to the household.

I have to agree with them on this score: fuck that!

What kind of "Dom" is so shifty, so listless that he can't do anything worthwhile with his time?

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 12:34:34 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fetishnoob

i feel that there is in fact a minimum level not just for doms but for any man who would be in a serious relationship, and that leve is simply  that you have a habitable place to live and are secure in the knowledge that the utilities won't be shut off or that you'll be on the street  any time soon,   if  one can't meet this small requirment then how can one in good conscience take responsibility for another?


I had met one that was in the state were here was going to loose his home  the house was in a inhabitable state and utilities were about to be shut off, him and his dog were starving and in arrears with his mortgage.   He had lost his managerial position in charge of skilled trades a position that paid over , $80,000 a year 6 months prior an income almost double mine, his home was small nothing overly expensive maybe $20,000 less than my own, he had 2 old vehicles both paid off long before, he had no savings set aside despite having very little bills , would have recieved a severance pay that should have tie him over for a while and a job position that even if he chose to drop done to worker instead of management would have still earned him more I was making and there is a big demand for skilled trades workers so remaining unemployed was unfathomable, he did not even bother trying to take  little side jobs under the table considering the skills he had.  when I meant him seen his house and the way he was living I was in shock, there was absolutely no excuse for him to be at that level of poverty in such a short time, as well no  excuse  not to be doing something to improve  his situation  as he had no physical  ailments that would prevent him from working.  I walked out and away  as there was no way I was going to put myself in his control if he could not look after control of his life. 

So yes I can say I have my limits, I would consider someone making less than me but my experiences were with others I have dated is most have a problem with women that earn more than them which can be a PITA dealing with the jealousy, which has put me more in a mindset that I would prefer they make the same or more than me just so as not to have to keep going thru the same BS but more important than how big their paycheck is ,,,,, is whether they can manage their money they do have.

  At the other end of the spectrum  I tend to get a bit squeamish if I know they have a huge income, I realized  if I find someone with a huge income it will cause a stumbling block as I do not want to quit my job, I don't enjoy it but  it is my financial security if things do not work out, as well I have put 17 years into my job toward my pension with 13 more to go to earn the full pension which one I get those 30 years in guarantees me a decent income for as long as I live including benefits, an overly rich Dom may have some troubles trying to understand and may not want me continuing to work as a factory labourer so I shy away if I know they are making huge incomes and want to be globe travelling as I realize it may simply cause too many conflicts.  I know many may see it as a dream come true but for me I view as a possible threat to my own financial independence and I don't have the faith/ fairytale notion that it will last a lifetime, I have learned the hard way that often shits happens, and I need to be responsible for myself and not expect others to do it for me..   


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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 12:37:59 PM   
MercilessMarcy


Posts: 80
Joined: 11/12/2006
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I make it clear before a meeting takes place that I cover my own bills and I expect him to support himself.  I want this to be about the relationship, not the finances!

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 12:51:20 PM   
ravennfyre


Posts: 161
Joined: 6/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314


quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot

There's Low-Income and then there is.... I look like I have
a lot of money but really I'm in credit card debt for the rest
of my life up to my ears. The ole Rob Peter to Pay Paul kind of thing.

Personally I would rather live clean month to month, (well maybe I would really like to have tons of money without plastic) know what's coming in, what's going out, I guess I could say I like ritual somewhat.


*Brightspot



Well said! That is My deep feeling too, come January, we didn't go through sticker shock from holiday spending because of credit card bills---we don't do plastic- we use green-- if we don't have, we don't do.


that's exactly how I live... no plastic. I like knowing that everything I have, is mine, free and clear. My only debt to pay is in student loans.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 12:53:25 PM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: withthesewings

Alot of Doms, not all..but quite a few have "Champagne tastes with beer budgets", when it comes to their choice in subs. They want a gorgeous sub...but dont want any part of the "upkeep" and maintance of their "property".

Meaning: For instance if I were a single-parent sub, low income, who had to concentrate on paying bills and etc. and did not have the funds for the "extras" that a sub likes to have to please her Master (perhaps, lingerie...hair maintance, nice nails and toes, waxing? etc..) if a Dom of mine appreciated those things and wanted me as his sub to have them, then I would appreciate a little help with the cost of it. So..yea, in that aspect..a stable income would be nice...:)






I am not sure that I understood what you were trying to say. Are you saying that the lower a Dom's income, the uglier a sub he gets? That only the richer Dom's get the more attractive subs?

I must have misunderstood, for surely you would not be calling the attractive subs gold-diggers.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 12:58:56 PM   
CelticPrince


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rare to see such volume of responses / great subject.

CP

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 1:06:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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At the time the thread originated, we had a lot of vocal newbies, and the OP had gotten himself a very outspoken and solid following- made for a few good threads.  Go back and see how many posters are still actively posting here today.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 1:13:24 PM   
GregorianChant


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I'm not a low income Dom. I have to state that to begin with. There are several types of Dom's. I would imagine that most of the 'low income' Dom's probably are mainly sadists (nothing against sadists- I know quite a few- good people mainly) not control freaks. I'm a control freak- we tend to dominate EVERYTHING in our lives- not merely our sex and home lives. I'm a manager where I work- and rising every day.. I can't imagine having it any other way! (I would go insane if I couldn't boss people around)

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 1:14:52 PM   
MistressPav


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The indigent need love, too.




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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 12/9/2007 1:26:01 PM   
grlneedstolearn


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Though i am a sub, i am actually in that almost exact scenario right now. And i'm lucky because my Dom will help out when he can, but yea i've scraped by and even had to sell some of my things to help pay for bills and rent, and to ask my friends for help. It's hard but i'm scraping by with support from family and friends.

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