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Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 6:38:14 PM

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I've got a rather serious problem with my slave girl. When I tell her to do something, but it's not a "right now" situation, she almost never does what she is told. Example: I recently told her to label a bunch of CDs I'd burned and it took 2 months of reminders and being punished to finally get it done. And our living room went almost 6 weeks without getting vacumed at one point.

I've tried punishing her (we don't use "corporal punishment" for punishment, only play). We've had several serious conversations regarding whether this was really what she wanted or not. She swears up down and sideways that being my slave is what she wants. Recently when I threatened to take away her collar she begged me crying on her knees not to. But in the end she still doesn't do the things I tell her to do.

Her primary excuse is that she doesn't remember my instructions, or that she misunderstood me. And for quite a while we worked to address the problem from that point of view. But more than once recently we've had situations were we discussed my instructions in detail so I know she understood them. Then I gave her several reminders, and she still doesn't do as she is told. I believe she just don't consider what I'm telling her to do important.

In many ways she is a wonderful girl. Every morning when I get out of bed I know I'll have a fresh cup of coffee made just the way I want waiting for me. And she is very caring and loving. But in the end if I can't count on her to do what I tell her to, then I'm not interested in keeping her as a slave.

RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 6:47:49 PM

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Given the info provided, it looks like she wants to pick and choose when and how she is going to serve you. Or maybe you each have different ideas about what the relationship standard should be.

Maybe sit down with her, without the threats and the begging etc, and see if you can work out and agree to some basics.

(in reply to TheDude77)

RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 6:51:26 PM

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I would say she is trying to be the one in charge. She wants to be a slave then she has to act like one. If she cant remember the directions, then write them down. If she continues making excuses then there is something more than her having a bad memory. If she were mine, shed have an ultimatum. Either she began acting like a slave oor she was out. No amount of begging and pleading could save her. I am not going to waste my time on someone who doesnt put me first and yet swears thats what she wants.

DV

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 6:52:42 PM

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maybe she actually forgets, if i dont have a to do list with my phone beeping reminders at me left and right i dont really remember to do thing that arent "necessary to live" so if she has a cell phone. set a reminder on it that beeps the most annoying tone EVER that she cant turn off till shes done the task... or destoryed the cell phone.

or possibly step back from the ds side of the relationship and work into it if its a newer relationship it might be shes just not used to being a "slave" and building up to her doing more and more and more and more... could help...

Or you could I dont know... Pick up the vaccume and do it yourself for once ... instead of just letting it go...

ps ( option three is said in snark for idiot doms who think that owning a slave means they never EVER EVER EVER have to EVER lift a finger to do anything again because thats what the slaves for... Just covering all mah bases.)

< Message edited by hopelessfool -- 4/6/2009 6:54:29 PM >

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 6:54:06 PM

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quote:

She swears up down and sideways that being my slave is what she wants.

Actions speak louder than words.

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 6:56:58 PM

dreamerdreaming

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One thing you can do is make up a regular chore list, like you would for a child. That way she can check things off once they're done, and have a visual reminder of what's left. For single incident things you could write the task and the time frame on a dry erase board.

Does she have an attention deficit disorder?

Are you giving her positive motivation???

I'd sit her down and enlist her help. What sorts of things does she feel will help her learn and remember, and follow through? What has worked for her in the past?

Bottom line, yes you are very free to kick her to the curb if she doesn't shape up, and that is what I would do.

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 6:59:30 PM

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Maybe like you do children...write a list of what needs to be done and the time frame that it needs to be completed. Have a reward system for so many accomplished. Have a punishment system...with so many rewards she gets a bonus, for so many punishments its something bad. Just remember that the punishment should not be something that deep inside she enjoys.
Just a suggestion, hope it helps.

(in reply to TheDude77)

RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 6:59:54 PM

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If forgetting really is the issue, have you considered giving her a list that she can tick off once she accomplishes something? I know that a to-do list helps me get everything done that I need to.

I'm assuming from your post that you two live together. Is she home all day, not working a job or going to school? If this is the case, maybe she needs more structure to her day and setting a schedule could help. Keep in mind though, that it takes about a month to fully form a habit, so there are likely to be more slip ups until then.

If she is working or going to school, are you expecting her to do all the house work? If that's the case it's likely she's tired and possibly overwhelmed and resentful. This is my personal opinion, but I would consider labeling his CD's to be busy-work and would probably resent that he was having me do that instead of schoolwork.

When she does do something right, do you acknowledge it and thank her (Like that nice cup of coffee you wake up to every morning)? A little positive encouragement can go a long way.

(in reply to marie2)

RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 7:03:17 PM

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dude,

First off there are many people that really dig the word slave and Ive found that no matter how much they dig they just dont really want to live as one. (same is true masters). If she truly is your slave the what she wants does not matter let alone take precedence to your demands and commands. If you feel she needs a beating then by god beat her severely enough that she know you mean business and then watch her jump through your burning hoops. But dont threaten her, and then not follow through it makes you weak. Set your rules and enforce them.
When a slave says she "forgot" your command, how important are you words to her? If you have to remind her even once your words were not taken as law. Forgetting is negligence and you really cant tolerate that it sets a bad example for the slave and creates bad habits you are only going to have to deal with later. Make it easy on yourself man.

(in reply to marie2)

RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 7:09:43 PM

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Joined: 2/14/2009
From: St George Utah
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hello. so when i read your thread it reminded me so much of life with my Master that i honestly went to Him and asked Him if He started a new profile and posted this. He of course answered no.

if you would like to know some things that have helped me in the past, i can give you some examples. Sir used to write down a list of things he wanted me to do that day, in the order He wanted them done. He then would cross them off my list if they were done to his satisfaction. that helped for a while to get me to do all the things He wanted done, that also helped me to not get overwhelmed with so many tasks by only doing one thing at a time.

to be honest with you i plum don't like cleaning. i never have. my mother used to use cleaning as punishment for me when i was younger and i have had a hard time ridding myself of that mentaliy. Sir reminds me constantly that He is not my mother and that i am not in trouble, but i still don't want to clean the house.i sometimes feel as though i have no energy and can't seem to pull myself from the couch all day, why i still don't know.

when it comes to the little things such as getting ice water or removeing His shoes at night, i do dilligently the only thing, like your girl, that i have a problem with is the house work, and other small tasks. such as putting away the groceries, or folding and putting away all the laundry. i don't know if anything i have said has helped you at all but i hope it has. the only thing i can say is that i love this life i have with my Master and i would have it no other way, i just don't want to do the house work sometimes.

andi

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 7:09:52 PM

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Actually, perhaps its just a concept that you haven't mastered her in this area. That she feels she has an option because its not a right now concept. So what to me you need to figure out is how to take the right now understanding where it seems she does well and apply it to a more expansive timeline for right now. This may take some effort on your part because you have to figure out how to train her to your wishes, punishing her and talking isn't working. Maybe try mastering and enslaving -- but that's my view of slavery not obedience or disobeidence. You have a woman who you allow to be disobedient, she believes she has some choice and options in the doing of your commands. That to me is your fault. You are obviously letting this idea hang in the air somehow, only you can figure out how by analyzing your mastery of her. IS she wrong -- sure, she is forgetful or willfully reluctant to do things without punishment and talks. You said you don't want to keep her around if its going to take this much work.

So you need to make a decision -- is her value to you higher than the cost it will cost you to train her to your wishes in this matter?

I believe she does want to be your slave, why would you doubt it because she fucks up and is forgetful at things she needs to make time to do? I mean hell the solutions are beyond basic for this --

1. If she is saying she doesn't understand or misunderstands of is forgetful?

Have her write down exactly what it is she believes you have told her to do. YOu review it and tell her she understands what you want or correct what she doesn't. Give it a deadline with a reminder. Have her make up a chore list that is in the kitchen and cross off when she finishes things. Give her actual deadlines. Have her email you daily what she has done to attempt to accomplish the chore and require her to do a little bit every day. As for vaccuming, give her two days per week where she vaccuums before going to bed or literally when she walks in the door from work, or on Sat or Sun before she can do anything fun she does her chores you require of her that she didn't get done during the week. Or hell if she is forgetful make it a daily chore, she has no excuse then about forgetting. And then when she gets it, you may be can take it down to three days a week then two.

I mean there are many things besides punishing her ineffectively it seems but it takes a little work on your part as her MAster.

One thing is never THREATEN to remove her collar. Either remove it or find another way of controlling her. Because if you attempt to use her staying your slave as a control factor, it will eventually become a concept wherein you show weakness in her eyes by threatening and not following through. Sort of like a parent always threatening to do A, B, or C, but never does it.

Good luck, but i think you as much as she have a lot of work to do and you have some mastering to do.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 4/6/2009 7:13:10 PM >

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 7:37:58 PM

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I have to say if my owner told me the first thing i was doing when i got in the door when i was working 8 hours of hell at one job and 5 standing on my feet straight through that id be vaccuming the house because hes to lazy to pick it up an do it himself. its see ya sunshine its been a nice life.

one thing i love about his "explanation" is He doesnt say what she does all day. Does she work? Full time? part time? Does she go to school? full time part time... does she work and go to school?

Is it simply theres not enough time in the day to get done 50 thousand chores that were ordered by someone who can easily run the vacumme himself.

Even if im dead tired from work... the knowledge my owner did my "chores" around the house would make me go... O__O we have an issue here.... and make me step it up.

Another Helpful suggestion i have, Is Do the chores with her untill she makes them part of her life.

I would rather sell my soul to a group of shamin monkeys then do the dishes... it just is YUCKS ... so my owner possibly standing behind me and teasing me while im trying not to vomit into the dish water would start to over ride the Yuck of doing the dishes with the... oh im being snuggled, and tickled... and was that a bite...?

Or you could give her tasks that might have a bit more meaning then labling your cds.....

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" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 7:40:42 PM

Rover

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I agree with the previous suggestion of having her commit your instructions to a list. That will prove successful or not in short order.

And if it's unsuccessful, I would be inclined to thank her for playing, giving her some parting gifts, and sending her back to her parents. But that is just me.

John

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 7:41:29 PM

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Seems like an awful lot of teeth gnashing over possible and/or assumed details.

Cali

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 7:43:02 PM

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seems awful strange someone wouldnt mention someones schedule when pointing out what someones lacking in doing.

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 7:53:22 PM

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Doesn't seem strange to me at all. The core problem is that she is not obeying. His post was focused on that. We're telling him we need more information to ferret out WHY she is not obeying.

Cali

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(in reply to hopelessfool)

RE: Unruely slave - 4/6/2009 8:23:46 PM

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Can't say I've ever had this issue. Dad said jump you asked how high. My girl has this prob with her 19 year old kid. I suggested tossing the kid out. If the behavior continues I will demand it. No Im not gonna chase you around like a 2 year old making sure you do what I say. Not in this lifetime. If I want a baby ill go rent one somewhere.

BadOne

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/7/2009 6:18:38 AM

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Does she have this problem in other areas of her life? Work or school? Because if she is this scattered about things, then I suspect ADHD and no amounts of punishment will cure a disease. But a list on a whiteboard is a start.

Beyond that, is she working all day also? Going to school full time? Because she doesn't need two full time jobs. If she's commuting an hour each way, working 8 plus overtime, coming home and doing all the cooking and laundry, then how is she to get the energy or interest in doing all the housework. When does she get to relax?

Save all the housework for the weekends and share it. You create half the mess, you ought to do half the clean up.

Now if she's not working, can't find a job, then I would suspect depression which also can't be cured by punishment.

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RE: Unruely slave - 4/7/2009 7:13:55 AM

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I'm with Rover on this one. She told him that she, for the most part, forgets or misunderstand his commands/requests -- not that she is too busy. I would imagine if she were very busy, she'd probably mention that as a reason. If she forgets or misunderstands, she should be the one responsible for using whatever tool best suits her to ensure she is able to list and prioritize all her tasks. It is a good idea if she asks you to review her list so to reduce misunderstandings.

That said, reminding her over and over *and* punishing her for two months to do something like labeling a CD collection? Errrrrrrrr..... You could ask her straight up what the reason is that she is not doing that specific task. That piece of work seems simple enough (admittedly boring and laborious, depending on the number of CDs). It's just odd that you've put what appears to be a fair amount of effort into getting her to obey you in this situation and she's clearly not budging for some reason. Since she's great in other areas, I wouldn't want to indicate that it sounds like things just aren't working out

It was honestly great to read some of the responses since my first thought was "what!?! how is that possible??" when I read about her forgetting. It's useful to see how others have responded and the solutions undertaken to resolving similar issues.

(in reply to TheDude77)

RE: Unruely slave - 4/7/2009 7:23:55 AM

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OP, what you could do is change all tasks to immediate ones for a while. If you want the livingroom vacuumed, tell her "vacuum the livingroom". Don't give her the option of "when you can get around to it". Or set a time limit on something like the CDs. "I want these labeled by Sunday evening at 9:00 PM or there will be a punishment". Then have her write it down and tape the note to the refrigerator.

Some people are not as good at remembering things as others. Some are more visual than aural and will remember it much better if they actually have to put it in writing. Others are fine if they just read it, but adding the physical process of writing it tends to add to that.

You can start with small things if you want. Set up a system of where she can expect to find notes from you (the front of the refrigerator is often an easy place) and start leaving one every day with a small task, even if the task is only to think of you and smile. Get her used to the habit of finding the note and placing a checkmark behind it once the task has been completed. You should find out quickly whether she is only making excuses for herself or simply doesn't catalog your information well.

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