LadiesBladewing
Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005 Status: offline
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I really like this. One thing that I try to teach our servants is that life is a -process-. We become ourselves through our experiences, and that process of becoming may change a person to the point where what they -used- to find fulfillment and comfort in, they may not any longer. Everything in life flows. Our House has an ownership agreement for those who have been with us long enough to be able to make an informed choice about turning everything over. One of the things that is turned over is any right to decide how long they are owned by us. I am a product of that agreement. I was owned for almost 10 years when my Owners informed me that I had changed so much that being owned was no longer in my best interests, and therefore, no longer in -their- best interests. They offered me the option of taking my place among them as equals or leaving the Household completely, but remaining there as an owned servant was no longer a choice, as they believed my growth would have stagnated. To me, this has always been one of the keys of good stewardship (which is a word I prefer to "ownership", but since it is not commonly understood, I don't think it would be useful as an explaination to newcomers about what we do/are). I consider that the Owners of House Bladewing were good stewards, and I hope that I am able to continue that trend. Those who serve us may not always understand, at the time, how loving stewardship is reflected in what we ask of or tell our servants, but it is the focus, and hopefully is reflected in the long-term outcomes. Romance is a wonderful thing, and it is not only good but appropriate that those who are romantically involved be honest and forthright about what they dynamic is between them when they are making the choice to join. There are other permutations of relationships that are just as valid. In the end, relationships are not static, and any attempt to force a "permanent" dynamic on a relationship is ineffectual, as the relationship cannot remain static as long as there is life in the relationship. Living is fluid, and grows and changes. A living relationship changes with the growth of the people within it. For the OP, there is -nothing- wrong with short-term consentual ownership. Setting the parameters for you, and respecting yourself enough to stick to them, is important, but in the end, you will create what is right for you. No-one outside of your relationships have the right to make a ruling. Far too often, we listen to and expect feedback from individuals who cannot possibly provide us with useful feedback, simply because their perceptions of the world are so different from ours that they don't even see the same world -- and yet, we are willing to judge ourselves and our choices by their criteria. You seem like the kind of person who sets his or her own criterie... so respect that in yourself, and know that you, better than anyone, can judge the type and style of relationships that will suit you. Lady Zephyr quote:
ORIGINAL: Chaingang "Ownership" is a semantic game. What others are defending has to do with ownership as it implies long durations of time and intimacy. I think the resistance you are getting is the obvious lack of intimacy implied by the arrangements you would seem to prefer or are interested in. To be honest, the idea of owning anything is kind of absurd. It's just a pretend game we play in life, in law, and maybe even in our private lives. But unless your owned slave is jumping in on top of the funeral pyre, I'd say you can't take him/her with you. You are just travelling through, everything is borrowed. The tighter your grip the more that slips through your fingers... Personally I consider ownership less important than loyalty. I like my word to be obeyed because of the devotion I have earned, not just because it has fallen from my lips.
< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 2/18/2006 6:44:11 AM >
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"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language. Bladewing Enclave
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