RE: Would you take on a bi Master/Dom?

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RE: Would you take on a bi Master/Dom? - 9/19/2009 8:10:47 PM

DemonKia

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From: Chico, Nor-Cali
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I had some additional thoughts about how that notion of 'social sexual identity' (as part of a tripartite model of sexuality) imports on the physical & emotional components.

I was thinking of this in particular with those cultures that impose sex-role apartheid codes (various religious fundamentalists, for instance) . . . In those cultures there is typically a 'men's world' & a 'women's sphere'. If we drew them as Venn diagrams the overlap would be fairly small. The system essentially imposes 'homosociality' (to coin a term).

When opposite sex couples partner up, the range of stuff they share in common can be quite limited, notably so in those cultures which also limit women's educations . . . . & as we frequently harp on here on these boards, a couple who share little in common outside of sexual & parental bonds are gonna have to work extra hard to make their relationships provide lasting rewards . .. . .

But this is not just some characteristic of some religious fundies over there, away from us. I note that in my experience there's a significant minority of 'all American men' who prefer to socialize with other men, & prefer that their women socialize preferentially with other women. With the same result that there can be significant possibility of couples drawn from such populations having little in common . . .. . & while it can work out, it can take a lot more work than with two people who share significant social similarities . . . . .

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RE: Would you take on a bi Master/Dom? - 9/19/2009 8:57:52 PM

DesFIP

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That's true. I didn't even think of it because that isn't my preferred style. I want my partner to be my best friend, to be the person I share things with. And if, to have that, I do less of activities I prefer and more of ones he prefers so be it. To me, it's worth it.

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RE: Would you take on a bi Master/Dom? - 9/19/2009 10:25:12 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
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I'm with you on that one, Des, I want to be able to share most of each of our worlds with my intimate partners. Commonality of interests is important to me.

& I have noticed that people who are strongly 'homosocial' outside of support structures that prescribe sex segregation do tend to have some kind of rate of 'marital problems' because of that separation . . . . . For instance, of the women I've known who have a strong 'lesbian socialness', it can be a problem in their heterosexual relationships if their men don't do 'girly' (especially if the guys they like are real 'he man' types), leaving them with a big vacuum in relatibility . . . . . .

Again, it's not so much that this stuff is a deal-breaker in one direction or another, but that it increases the amount of work necessary to make the relationship sustainable, satisfactory, etc . .. .

Anyways, thanks, Des. Nice conversation. I appreciate the chance to think about this stuff . .. . . .

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