If multiple people are seeing the same thing and it is incorrect, then the responsibility lies upon the one that wrote the words.
I understand this is a favored catch phrase around here, but have you really thought that one through? First, not everyone reading this thread thinks I'm doing whatever negative thing porcelaine thinks I'm doing, so you've got multiple people disagreeing. And more importantly, skew your sample much?
I am simply stating my opinion based upon what I have read. I am not getting upset and sniping about perceived sniping. So I shall give you another catch phrase. "If you cannot stand the heat, get out of the proverbial kitchen." Of course you won't, you are another that enjoys the emotional satisfaction of building, and standing upon, a fantastical pedestal.
There are a number of M/s relationships represented on these forums that I would not wish to be a part of. Yet I am long past thinking I need to save or convert anyone else. If it works for them, if they are happy and fulfilled..........faaaaabulous! If they are not, then it is up to them to do something about it.
My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!
Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!