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RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 11:40:03 AM

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pop by the house, I'll train you. It will be intense. Girls used to come to my house and wrinkle up their nose, and say 'Where's your girlfriend?' Now they come and wrinkle up their nose and say, 'Holy Fuck! How many fuckin' GUYS LIVE HERE?'

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 11:42:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas

No, I'm NOT saying she's average. I'm sure she's amazing!

Dangit, sorry! NOT saying....

(in reply to JonasTellas)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 11:43:34 AM

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Joined: 1/11/2006
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Hehe - umm .... thanks for the kind invit. but i lived with ums and cats and dogs. I know how to clean. I was really wanting to know what a slave did differently, because obviously i am doing it wrong. Since i live with my Sir, i need to get it right, because the issue isn't addressed in my Subby/Slave handbook. Wow - first ommission that i have detected.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 11:47:36 AM

CreativeDominant

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Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Hehe - umm .... thanks for the kind invit. but i lived with ums and cats and dogs. I know how to clean. I was really wanting to know what a slave did differently, because obviously i am doing it wrong. Since i live with my Sir, i need to get it right, because the issue isn't addressed in my Subby/Slave handbook. Wow - first ommission that i have detected.

~shows kiwisub the missing first two pages~

Page 1
The dominant is always right

Page 2
If, in your opinion, the dominant is wrong PLEASE refer back to page 1

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 11:48:38 AM

Posts: 11766
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quote:

You say women give up control to just any dom and so she needs no inspiration. That's the exception to the rule, I believe.

Your "rule" not 'the rule'; and therein is the problem you have, not appreciating that your 'one true way' - isn't.

quote:

Most women, need to feel something from the dom which moves them to chose them as their dom and submit to him.

At minimum include the preface, "that I've encountered/met" as a qualifier. But at least you're coming around. Now you use "most". You used to say (Post #257); "they don't just surrender to anyone just because they are submissive". Now you at least stipulate that the possibility exists. We've made progress! No "stress" involved.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 10/14/2009 11:59:10 AM >

(in reply to JonasTellas)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 11:57:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Hehe - umm .... thanks for the kind invit. but i lived with ums and cats and dogs. I know how to clean. I was really wanting to know what a slave did differently, because obviously i am doing it wrong. Since i live with my Sir, i need to get it right, because the issue isn't addressed in my Subby/Slave handbook. Wow - first ommission that i have detected.

~shows kiwisub the missing first two pages~

Page 1
The dominant is always right

Page 2
If, in your opinion, the dominant is wrong PLEASE refer back to page 1

Thank you for the info , CreativeDominant - if page #1 is right, then cleaning is wayyyyyyy down the list of required behaviours, since my Sir tells me repeatedly that he didn't take me for my cleaning skills.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 12:00:03 PM

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I didn't say the way I feel is the rule. I already stated that it's true some women submit blindly to just anyone who is dominant. I didn't say my view is the rule. I do believe that your statement that women don't discriminate in who they submit to isn't the majority of women.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 12:02:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

You say women give up control to just any dom and so she needs no inspiration. That's the exception to the rule, I believe.
Your "rule" not 'the rule'; and therein is the problem you have, not appreciating that your 'one true way - isn't.

quote:

Most women, need to feel something from the dom which moves them to chose them as their dom and submit to him.
At minimum include the preface, "that I've encountered/met" as a qualifier. But at least you're coming around. Now you use "most". You used to say (Post #257); "they don't just surrender to anyone just because they are submissive". Now you at least stipulate that the possibility exists. We've made progress! No "stress" involved.

The subs i know personally ,chose their doms because of vanilla reasons - they felt that they could have a good , meaningful relationship with the dom, that the dom was the sort of man they could relate to, have fun with, and get their itches scratched. There wasn't anything mystical about the choice, just practicality. There is no point in subbing to a man who annoys you on other levels than bdsm.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 12:16:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas

I didn't say the way I feel is the rule. I already stated that it's true some women submit blindly to just anyone who is dominant. I didn't say my view is the rule. I do believe that your statement that women don't discriminate in who they submit to isn't the majority of women.

No I said I know some women who do. There was no judgment made of that reality being good or bad for them; although I did say that ideally they didn't have a partner who took advantage of that reality.

That is a clear distinction of your position on record; (Post #261); "It's unfortunate you know submissives who will surrender their control to just anyone."

Are you backing off your 'one true way' of identifying these people as "unfortunate", or holding to your "rule"?

quote:

The subs i know personally ,chose their doms because of vanilla reasons - they felt that they could have a good , meaningful relationship with the dom, that the dom was the sort of man they could relate to, have fun with, and get their itches scratched. There wasn't anything mystical about the choice, just practicality.

Okay and...?

I've know, been with, and scratched many an 'itch' under these circumstances. Lots of FUN! for both of us.

quote:

There is no point in subbing to a man who annoys you on other levels than bdsm.

Oh hell, you should attend some of the clubs. Regularly there are people there who annoy each other on multiple personal levels yet sub and dom each other regularly. Sometimes all that's desired is an scratch to an itch and any back-scratcher will do.

Fortunately and currently, I've had and have experiences with partners that may be accurately considered "mystical". Given the choice, I prefer the later.

(in reply to JonasTellas)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 12:24:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas
Could it be your relationship is more vanilla with a twist of sexual kink and that's why you see no difference between an m/s relationship and a vanilla one?

The primary difference between relationships I see is between healthy and unhealthy. Healthy relationships are based on mutual fulfillment. Unhealthy ones aren't. I've been the D in a D/s relationship, and I've been the boyfriend in a vanilla relationship. I see no reason to put a name on the new, developing relationship I am in now. I have explained some of what I do in it, and what the division of labor is. You are welcome to call it a club soda with a twist of lime, if that's the flavor you'd like to assign to it.

The primary difference that might exist between some M/s relationships and my relationship history, is that I am not willing to enter into a relationship with a woman unless I love her. Your description of M/s seems more based on obligation and satisfaction of mutual kinks. Perhaps you don't love your master, or your master doesn't love you, and instead the BDSM is the glue holding the two of you together. Three Master/slave couples (not including me) have responded to you so far, saying that your description is off. Each of those couples includes mutual love in their dynamics. Perhaps you don't, so you are seeing things from a different perspective.

Also, your point that the "average" American woman doesn't clean when the man says, "Do it," seems a little off. The "average" American woman cleans before the man says anything, because she figures she'd better take care of it because he's blind to the mess. In the case of my own relationship (with someone who is nowhere near average!), if I had to ask her to clean something, I would realize there was something seriously wrong between us. Picking up after me is one of her primary love languages.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 10/14/2009 12:33:29 PM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to JonasTellas)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 12:27:49 PM

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Joined: 12/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

The subs i know personally ,chose their doms because of vanilla reasons - they felt that they could have a good , meaningful relationship with the dom, that the dom was the sort of man they could relate to, have fun with, and get their itches scratched.

Kiwi, would you leave the above as the base motivations for m&s? Further, is your example even that of dominance and submission at all?

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 12:28:28 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas
I didn't say the way I feel is the rule. I already stated that it's true some women submit blindly to just anyone who is dominant. I didn't say my view is the rule. I do believe that your statement that women don't discriminate in who they submit to isn't the majority of women.

I agree and I should think, is a self-evident statement. When Carol chose me, there were approximately 3 billion other males on the face of the planet. Somehow, she wittled that down to "me". The fact that she has a generally submissive personality (eg, to everyone and in most/all situations) doesn't mean that I still wasn't singled out somehow.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to JonasTellas)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 1:09:12 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac
Agreed, tenfold. To that end, domination and submission is physical and emotive, involving two minds and two perceptions.

I do so love the word emotive. Gives me shivers.
quote:

There's discipline involved? For the sake of your example, who does the disciplining and why, or do you mean to say it's more like an enjoyable adult hobby more than actual domination and submission?

From what I can gather - as I am only subject to her words and therefore it is vicarious to me - he enjoys the physical aspects of the discipline, but not in the cause of her discomfort (not as in sadistic) but it solidifys their relationship(her words) - so yes, I suppose it could be seen as a 'hobby' as in the same way that it would if they went fishing together. It's a common ground that they share that they get to do together.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 1:32:51 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas
I see. Still, that doesn't mean I think submissive relationships are superior. Some other poster here, Leadership, thinks I think submission is bad. You think I think it's superior. Maybe you two should help each other out. lol.

People see different things - it's no biggie.

quote:

Please paste where I made up something you said.

You stated that I was segregating. I was not. Does that assist you?

quote:

Yes, and I never said there definitely were not.

I know, I was agreeing with you .

quote:

I'm talking about D/s relationships. Is your d/s relationship very vanilla with a little kink added in? If so, maybe that's where the confusion is happening. I'm talking about master-slave-submissive relationships, not kinky vanilla where each side does things equally for the other side. I don't your average house wife gets disciplined and punished by her husband. There's a reason they call our lifestyle a lifestyle. "

I asked you to give your examples as you see as the difference things s-types do in a Ds realtionship, that so called vanilla people and relationships do not do. I have tried to be specific - as you have mentioned Ds in particular. Ds - not BDSM. Maybe it would help if you can define what you mean by a Ds relationship. For us it is pretty straight forward. Ds means domination and submission - no more no less.
And you are correct. I do not live a Ds relationship. However, I do not live any 'lifestyle' other than the one I am instructed to by Master. We do not re-enact fantasies. We do not believe in equality in the sense that everyone is equally unequal. They(whoever they may be) may call your lifestyle as such, but for us - it is not living a pretense and we do not 'live a lifestyle' - we live life - just as Master would have it - not as others would want to dictate - as that would mean he defers to anothers authority - and Master would never do that

. We live exactly how we are. He is Master and I am his property. Because that is his will.
And his will is all that his .girl. need obey.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to JonasTellas)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 1:48:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

From what I can gather - as I am only subject to her words and therefore it is vicarious to me - he enjoys the physical aspects of the discipline, but not in the cause of her discomfort (not as in sadistic) but it solidifys their relationship(her words) - so yes, I suppose it could be seen as a 'hobby' as in the same way that it would if they went fishing together. It's a common ground that they share that they get to do together.

So it's not so much d/s and certainly not m&s as it is a form of interaction they enjoy. That's cool. I suspect people do that sort of stuff more than not. I think what you illustrate is pretty relevant, though: there are some who see it as fun garnish/bonding/play on top of a relationship, and there are some who take d/s more in-depth and structure their lives around it. i think what we have here may be in some cases a clash of the two "cultures".

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 2:00:53 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac
So it's not so much d/s and certainly not m&s as it is a form of interaction they enjoy. That's cool. I suspect people do that sort of stuff more than not. I think what you illustrate is pretty relevant, though: there are some who see it as fun garnish/bonding/play on top of a relationship, and there are some who take d/s more in-depth and structure their lives around it. i think what we have here may be in some cases a clash of the two "cultures".

I agree. And they must be doing something right - they have been together 20 years (give or take a few months) - which in any type of relationship is pretty good going.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 2:03:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

The subs i know personally ,chose their doms because of vanilla reasons - they felt that they could have a good , meaningful relationship with the dom, that the dom was the sort of man they could relate to, have fun with, and get their itches scratched.

Kiwi, would you leave the above as the base motivations for m&s? Further, is your example even that of dominance and submission at all?

Uh ... all things being equal, if there are two doms who wish my submission, i will choose the one that i can have fun with, and talk to, and like/love over the one that i can't... I can't imagine anything more miserable than being in a 24/7 relationship with someone that i personally didn't like, or even liked tepidly.

I'm pretty sure the subby handbook says its ok to have fun with your dom, even when you are submissive to his will - as i am.

And yes, since i have free will to choose my dom, it is submission and dominance. Perhaps my answer above was a little flippant, but I stand by what i said.

If i was just having a meet-and-beat, then i wouldn't be so concerned with personal compatibility, but then, even then, i would want to have a bond with the beater. I'm just funny that way. A large part of my submission is personal.

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 2:08:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac
So it's not so much d/s and certainly not m&s as it is a form of interaction they enjoy. That's cool. I suspect people do that sort of stuff more than not. I think what you illustrate is pretty relevant, though: there are some who see it as fun garnish/bonding/play on top of a relationship, and there are some who take d/s more in-depth and structure their lives around it. i think what we have here may be in some cases a clash of the two "cultures".

I agree. And they must be doing something right - they have been together 20 years (give or take a few months) - which in any type of relationship is pretty good going.

the.dark.

No argument there.

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 4:51:55 PM

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You said: "That I and many people disagree with."

I said: Okay, so why do you feel the need to segregate yourself with those that agree with you, from me? LOL.

I'm still waiting for you to paste anything I specifically made up that you specifically said.

JonasTellas:
I see. Still, that doesn't mean I think submissive relationships are superior. Some other poster here, Leadership, thinks I think submission is bad. You think I think it's superior. Maybe you two should help each other out. lol.

"People see different things - it's no biggie."

It points to more than that. You're ignore what I'm saying even making things up that I never said because you're too busy trying to defend your vanilla relationship.

No wonder you're feeling this way - you're not in a d/s relationship. This is all fun and games for you. Is this where you got I said d/s is superior (which I never said)? No wonder you feel this way. It all makes sense now. LOL

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Foot worshiping Dom - 10/14/2009 5:07:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JonasTellas
This is all fun and games for you.

And this is a bad thing? If you're not having fun, then why are you in your own relationship?

Seriously. You called my relationship vanilla, so I suppose you think I can't understand the greater depth of your own commitment to someone. But I have to ask... Who is the truer submissive: the one who has to be told to clean, or the one who doesn't?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to JonasTellas)

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