I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along?

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I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just strin... - 10/27/2009 10:19:45 AM

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Joined: 9/29/2008
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Ok, well first.. I met this dominant couple on here months ago. We get along over the phone great. I was always asked when I could come out this last summer... I was working a lot though and the trust wasn't quite there so of course we decided to wait. They ended up doing this project on a house of their dreams and it turned into a huge ordeal where they have build the house on the property up before they can tear it down.. I don't really know how to explain it, lol. But, he's been taking.... I'd say at least two months on this house. We use to talk a lot.. but now it's dwindled down to where we barely talk. Today is the last day before the appraiser? comes so he said it'd be more back to normal after today. We will talk a lot more. So if that doesn't happen..should I just say bye at this point? (continue reading to answer that question please)

One of the times through this whole thing I talked to him on the phone and he seemed way stressed, but he was still really nice to me..but i could tell he was dealing with a lot. I mean, but It's been 2 MONTHS NOW. I talked to him on the phone a couple of days ago and he mentioned the plane ticket and getting me out there, he promised we will be talking a lot more before that happens (but it's kind of hard to believe that right now).

I mean, he seems soo genuine and sincere. I usually can tell right away if someone isn't and my gut is usually right..only problem is..i have no idea what my 'gut' feeling is at this point..no idea. His wife who I really adore... i guess is always up at the house and doesn't get reception so I haven't talked to her since this whole thing has happened...not at all...which is a little weird to me...

I have no idea what to think or do at this point. Am I just being silly? Is it really just the fact I can't be a priority right now because the house is a huge deal (i mean ..it's a matter of having a place to live for them..)...am i being unreasonable and impatient? He says i have nothing to worry about..their feelings for me haven't changed at all it's just the situation..but i don't flipping know. I have attachment issues and with people I haven't met face to face I seem to have this huge problem with thinking they are going to ditch me and it really bothers me with people i really care about.

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 10:28:16 AM

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you are 18, he is how old?

lets see, he is working with about a 100k-200k mortgage and building and permits and appraisers and banks and contractors, and he doesnt call you like he used to?

OK
how was he before this began?
if he is that way after, you are good.

but because you are not there at the moment, does not mean nothing is going on in your absence, and you were the first to put a kibosh on the moving forward......

are we at a place where your motives are sweet polly purebred and his are nefarious?

get a fuckin grip, kid.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 10:35:47 AM

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Ok, lol, wow I was just asking what some people thought...you can't blame me for questioning things it's over the net. Of course I said no to meeting right away I held a job before I met them and they had me scheduled to work a lot because a lot of people were planning to be out of town, plus we just started talking...sorry i don't meet people right away after talking to them on here. Guess i'm an idiot huh? - That shouldn't even be an issue.

It's just gone on for SO long now i don't know what to think. That's why I asked. Don't tell me to ' get a grip' obviously I have or I wouldn't be posting this asking for opinions. I'm sure anyone else would start to question also if they were in my shoes.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 10:38:41 AM

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This is one of the hardest decisions people have to make; how long to wait until giving up on something.

It almost doesn't matter if there really is a house remodel or not; What is clear is that there is something that is occupying his time and energy and making it impossible for him (for the moment) to properly pursue you and integrate you into the family. It could be that this particular couple is not in a position to add a third at this time in their life.

The easy suggestion is to talk to him forthrightly; except that it seems thats all there ever is, is talking. I would suggest giving yourself a deadline, and following through.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 10:39:10 AM

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If you solicit opinions from your 100 thousand closest advisors at CollarMe, you will occasionally be confronted with an opinion you don't like, you are 18 and may ignore it, as most 18 year olds will, and wait for one that you want to hear...

So, how's this?

Ja, kick that fuckhead to the curb, baby!!!!!!!!!

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 10:43:12 AM

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Joined: 9/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

If you solicit opinions from your 100 thousand closest advisors at CollarMe, you will occasionally be confronted with an opinion you don't like, you are 18 and may ignore it, as most 18 year olds will, and wait for one that you want to hear...

So, how's this?

Ja, kick that fuckhead to the curb, baby!!!!!!!!!

Ron

Dude, dude...dude...I get that... and I really hope what you say is TRUE and i'm being impatient. But, truth is I just don't know yet.

I'm just saying how you went around saying what you thought wasn't very tactful. That's all I'm saying.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 10:45:55 AM

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Joined: 2/14/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

If you solicit opinions from your 100 thousand closest advisors at CollarMe, you will occasionally be confronted with an opinion you don't like, you are 18 and may ignore it, as most 18 year olds will, and wait for one that you want to hear...

Ron

I must confess Ron, I have missed you.

Well, I read all the posts, to this point. Some of them mocking, some with sincere advice, NOT ONE of them worth a damn.

Know why, I'll tell you, cause you asked a question that NO ONE can answer FOR you. ONLY you can determine; what you want, what is expected, and what someone ELSE is doing or going to do for you.

What you need, is a clue. What that clue will turn out to be, only you will find. Or, not. If you do, you may find this is the dream you dreamed as your daddy's little princess, or maybe that this was just another colossal clusterfuck in your already depressing life. (please note her, i make no presumption of your particular misery, just a format reply to a format question. If you had searched this topic prior to posting, I am positive every answer in this thread has been on at least 50 other threads.)

So here is my good luck to ya in a very distressing time in your life. May you you hunting be fruitfull, and your suffering enjoyable.

Peace

_____________________________

"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 10:47:33 AM

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Joined: 9/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

This is one of the hardest decisions people have to make; how long to wait until giving up on something.

It almost doesn't matter if there really is a house remodel or not; What is clear is that there is something that is occupying his time and energy and making it impossible for him (for the moment) to properly pursue you and integrate you into the family. It could be that this particular couple is not in a position to add a third at this time in their life.

The easy suggestion is to talk to him forthrightly; except that it seems thats all there ever is, is talking. I would suggest giving yourself a deadline, and following through.

Aw, see Ron? This post actually helps solve my problem...

Thank you AnimusRex. He said something about after nov 21 because the new house will be liveable.. and they want me to come when it's all in order. So, I guess that's the deadline. I guess if he doesn't follow through with that I should say bye. But, yeah like you said..i guess it really is hard to figure out how long you should wait before you give it up. Thank you for your advice. It was helpful. I will talk to him ...about that being the deadline for sure.

(in reply to AnimusRex)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 10:59:37 AM

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And........why not get to know other people, keep your options open, in the mean time?

You've not met them, have no idea if he is being honest with you, they've made no commitment to you, nor you to them..........keep them on the short list but don't put all your eggs in one basket either.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/27/2009 11:00:53 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:06:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

And........why not get to know other people, keep your options open, in the mean time?

You've not met them, have no idea if he is being honest with you, they've made no commitment to you, nor you to them..........keep them on the short list but don't put all your eggs in one basket either.

And in these forums, whores are as sought after as slaves... so win win!

(mandatory disclaimer, Whores in MY book, my favorite women, and fiercest male competition) Go with pain
Peace

_____________________________

"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:08:01 AM

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Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss
Dude, dude...dude...I get that... and I really hope what you say is TRUE and i'm being impatient. But, truth is I just don't know yet.

I'm just saying how you went around saying what you thought wasn't very tactful. That's all I'm saying.

*chuckles* Ron is not Mr. Tact on these boards. He is, however, correct way more often than most of us.

My thoughts? After a total of 2 months wherein there is a perfectly plausible and understandable reason why he's been busy, you're wondering if someone is stringing you along? This is exactly why I will never understand older dom's fascination with younger subs. I get it that at your age, time frames are WAY condensed relative to mine. You'll have to make whatever decision seems appropriate to you. To ME, your reasoning process up until now is both self-centered and short-term.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:10:18 AM

supportourtroops

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Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

You're very rude. Others come here for honest advice and if you have none to give you should shut your pie-hole.
She is young and this is new to her and she has every right to talk to others with experience. You help no one and are negative to the community.

"Bitch's aren't born, their made"

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:13:34 AM

supportourtroops

Posts: 37
Joined: 9/26/2009
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Agreed that AnimusRex gives actual good advice. As to Ron....useless.
Don't worry lilmiss I've got your back.

Be Safe & Well,

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:14:01 AM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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You are a grown lady posting about the same sort of things as this youth. Thank you for your commentary, you have no idea how that makes me feel.

It's all about the love and flowers and sweetly smelling candles, is it?

let me write that down, somewhere.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to supportourtroops)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:17:08 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

You are a grown lady posting about the same sort of things as this youth. Thank you for your commentary, you have no idea how that makes me feel.

It's all about the love and flowers and sweetly smelling candles, is it?

let me write that down, somewhere.

Ron

*hands Ron a scrap of paper and a crayon*

helpfulslut

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:25:04 AM

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Joined: 1/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

She is young and this is new to her and she has every right to talk to others with experience.

Actually...a similar post has been made before by the OP almost a year ago http://www.collarchat.com/m_2249985/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#2249985

If a person doesn't take the time to learn, they're doomed to repeat their mistakes.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to supportourtroops)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:25:13 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

You're very rude. Others come here for honest advice and if you have none to give you should shut your pie-hole.
She is young and this is new to her and she has every right to talk to others with experience. You help no one and are negative to the community.

What community?

I rather LIKE Ron's pie hole. Unlike many of the syrupy sugar coated crap on here, he gives good advice......it simply takes a brain to decipher a good deal of it.

BTW...........you have a funny white rectangle where one of your holes should be.

"Bitch's aren't born, their made" << priceless

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/27/2009 11:28:07 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to supportourtroops)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:28:31 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

You are a grown lady posting about the same sort of things as this youth. Thank you for your commentary, you have no idea how that makes me feel.

It's all about the love and flowers and sweetly smelling candles, is it?

let me write that down, somewhere.

Ron

*hands Ron a scrap of paper and a crayon*

helpfulslut

Kajira should have written it down for me, in flowery script, and discreetly offered it to me, from a kneeling position.

That is all........you'll learn, no whip this time.....but remember, I am somewhat of a useless ass, so you can't tell what I'll do next.

Ron

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 10/27/2009 11:29:15 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:30:10 AM

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

BTW...........you have a funny white rectangle where one of your holes should be.

"Bitch's aren't born, their made" << priceless

1. lol

2. So priceless, I must know who is being quoted.

3. supportourtroops: 99.9% the guy is not considering you for a LTR TPE relationship. Best of luck!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just s... - 10/27/2009 11:32:13 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

She is young and this is new to her and she has every right to talk to others with experience.

Actually...a similar post has been made before by the OP almost a year ago http://www.collarchat.com/m_2249985/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#2249985

If a person doesn't take the time to learn, they're doomed to repeat their mistakes.

Accordingly, they would have been underage at that time, the profile shows 18 now, or is it in and of itself a wanker?

Curiously,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to CarrieO)

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