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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 5:26:04 AM

servantforuse

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I didn't read all four previous pages, but I would be willing to bet that men cheat more then women...

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 9:14:54 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

She wants a dark side, and I'm a DarkSteven... there's gotta be a connection there somewhere... /searches/

You could be Darth Steven!

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 9:21:16 AM

ElanSubdued

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Reform,

quote:

I cheated on my abusive boyfriend, and it gave me the strength to leave a situation I thought hopeless. If that makes me a selfish jerk, so be it.

I've heard this view expressed by both genders. When a relationship is at this stage, often both participants (or all the participants if there are more than two) are extremely unhappy. I'm not advocating the approach, but I do understand why this happens. Sometimes a less than ideal approach helps give clarity.

Elan.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 9:25:50 AM

ElanSubdued

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DarkSteven,

quote:

She wants a dark side, and I'm a DarkSteven... there's gotta be a connection there somewhere... /searches/

Subtle, but nicely played Sir. Your humour and charm are always a pleasure to read.

Elan.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 9:33:40 AM

ElanSubdued

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servantforuse,

quote:

I didn't read all four previous pages, but I would be willing to bet that men cheat more than women...

Seemingly, this a myth sold by popular culture. In truth, I think this has no basis whatsoever. While talking to people and observing people, my observation is that the genders are fairly equal when it comes to this sort of thing.

Elan.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 9:48:55 AM

SweetDommes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missannabellee

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Same reason as anyone else does it - because they are jerks. Male, female, dominant, submissive, switch, straight, gay, bi ... doesn't matter - they each give a different reason for why they cheat, but it all boils down to the fact they are selfish jerks.

They do it because human beings weren't meant to be monogamous. It's not in our DNA to be attached to one person for the rest of our lives.

Sex with someone who isn't your partner can provide new experiences, validation, increased self-esteem and a chance to get away from the baggage... particularly if you happened to be moored to a creature who doesn't give you space, attention, or orgasms.

If monogamy is important to you, find someone who values it too. But don't expect it from the entire human race.

I'm far from monogamous, but I (and my girlfriend and boyfriend) insist on honesty. If you feel the need to hide something from your partner - then you need to get out of the relationship or have the balls to be honest. Over-simplistic or not, someone who can't be bothered to take the time and tell their partner what they need/want/whatever is a jerk. I'm a firm believer in consensuality and if someone doesn't know what is going on, then they can't consent to it, now can they?

Open relationship, closed relationship, monogamy, polygamy - none of that matters ... cheating is cheating, and if you're hiding what you are doing from your partner(s), you're cheating.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 12:17:11 PM

youngsubgeoff

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Agreed. I think I figured out what happened. Ive always had a problem with being accepted. I think maybe I was in such a rush for someone, anyone to accept me that maybe I rushed in (again) without really taking a look at who I was with (again).

Now, that being said, am I taking the blame for her being dishonest with me? Nope. I can only control what I do.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 2:19:08 PM

LaTigresse

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Geoff, you finally got where I was leading.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 2:28:43 PM

youngsubgeoff

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I am a little slow at times, but I do get there eventually

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 3:05:22 PM

iceness

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I cheated on a few boyfriends in the past. That said, I've learned more about what I felt I was missing in those relationships. Since then I have also learned to be more honest and talk about my needs with my partner. In one relationship I felt I was missing a rougher kind of sex, in another there wasn't enough oral sex for my taste (pun not intended but noted), in the third relationship there weren't enough cuddles and caring touches. In my most recent relationships I was more honest and open and didn't feel the need to cheat. I would also like to add that the person I cheated with was the same in all circumstances. I consider him my Master and in the last couple of relationships (which were not open relationships) I was allowed by my partner to continue my role as a wench. I also have a long distance relationship (which is an open relationship) that has been going on for many years. I think personally that my ideal situation would be living together in a poly household with my Master, boyfriend (the long distance one), and a Domme. I feel that something that pushed me towards cheating was a tendency to need change occasionally. I need that variety and "otherness" to really see what I have.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/13/2009 9:09:01 PM

Ladynslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Specifically, what drives a dominant woman to cheat? Dont get me wrong and take this as I think only women cheat. Im just asking why would a domme cheat on someone she claims to love.

While I have not cheated as a Domme, I can answer your original question as to why I cheated as a woman...

I cheated for one of two reasons in different relationships. 1. He cheated on me first. 2. After spending a year and a half practically begging to improve our sex life (I had not had one orgasm in all that time) I started having unexpected orgasms in inappropriate situations (ie. walking through the grocery store). In order to stop that from happening, I started an affair with someone who would make sure I had an orgasm (or more) each time we had sex. As I stopped having them where I shouldn't, the self-therapy I chose apparently worked and I eventually ended the initial relationship when he continued to refuse to work on improving our sex life.

< Message edited by Ladynslave -- 11/13/2009 9:10:32 PM >

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/16/2009 9:51:08 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Specifically, what drives a dominant woman to cheat? Dont get me wrong and take this as I think only women cheat. Im just asking why would a domme cheat on someone she claims to love.

Probably the same reasons men do -- cowardice, desire for the new and shiny, fear of not being seen as monogamous but frankly aren't, thrills, power, availability, gaining resources, loneliness, shared interests, opportunity, etc.

The reasons will vary with the person.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/18/2009 1:36:32 AM

houseboy001

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For some reason it seems to me that perhaps I have missed the point. The Woman in question is a Domme and She has cheated??? How?? It would seem that as the Dominant in the relationship that would be Her right to decide when and with whom to have sex with??? That would seem the logical assumption in a Domme/sub relationship. If this is to be a husband/wife or boyfriend girlfriend arrangement then just do the dishes and vacuum the rug as told but so not drink over it!!!! Life is made up of choices you chose not to drink (that is a good thing) but now you have to chose whether or not You want to serve a Dominant Woman or play the games with a girlfriend.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/18/2009 1:41:18 AM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: houseboy001

For some reason it seems to me that perhaps I have missed the point. The Woman in question is a Domme and She has cheated??? How?? It would seem that as the Dominant in the relationship that would be Her right to decide when and with whom to have sex with??? That would seem the logical assumption in a Domme/sub relationship. If this is to be a husband/wife or boyfriend girlfriend arrangement then just do the dishes and vacuum the rug as told but so not drink over it!!!! Life is made up of choices you chose not to drink (that is a good thing) but now you have to chose whether or not You want to serve a Dominant Woman or play the games with a girlfriend.

Oh FFS.. if the understanding was that it was to be a monogamous relationship.. then the female goes out and starts fucking every tom dick and harry....?

Seriously?

dude.. you may be into cuckolding etc.. but not everyone is..

*THIS IS JUST A GENERAL STATEMENT RE: understandings when entering a relationship*

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/18/2009 3:42:11 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: houseboy001

For some reason it seems to me that perhaps I have missed the point. The Woman in question is a Domme and She has cheated??? How?? It would seem that as the Dominant in the relationship that would be Her right to decide when and with whom to have sex with??? That would seem the logical assumption in a Domme/sub relationship.

You know what they say about assumptions, don't you houseboy. When you assume, you make an ass out of yourself?

quote:

If this is to be a husband/wife or boyfriend girlfriend arrangement then just do the dishes and vacuum the rug as told but so not drink over it!!!! Life is made up of choices you chose not to drink (that is a good thing) but now you have to chose whether or not You want to serve a Dominant Woman or play the games with a girlfriend.

Really? Huh. To me, they are one and the same.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 11/18/2009 3:45:22 AM >

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/18/2009 4:23:14 AM

youngsubgeoff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: houseboy001

For some reason it seems to me that perhaps I have missed the point. The Woman in question is a Domme and She has cheated??? How?? It would seem that as the Dominant in the relationship that would be Her right to decide when and with whom to have sex with??? That would seem the logical assumption in a Domme/sub relationship. If this is to be a husband/wife or boyfriend girlfriend arrangement then just do the dishes and vacuum the rug as told but so not drink over it!!!! Life is made up of choices you chose not to drink (that is a good thing) but now you have to chose whether or not You want to serve a Dominant Woman or play the games with a girlfriend.

Your a fucking moron.

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RE: Why do women cheat? - 11/18/2009 4:27:41 AM

GYPSYMAMBO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: houseboy001

It would seem that as the Dominant in the relationship that would be Her right to decide when and with whom to have sex with???

Surely you fukkin jest???

GM

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