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RE: training - 12/23/2009 9:49:50 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

My point, using the two of you as an example (which I hope you didn't mind) was that for a relationship to be successful, everyone involved needs to learn what makes the other happy.

Feel free. I tend to make ourselves into an example enough.
quote:


Obviously, you and Valyraen have managed to do that very well. As you said, many subs might think that it is "topping from the bottom," but I think if someone wants to they can make just about anything seem to be topping from the bottom.

I definately agree with that sentiment. I've seen it over-used to the point where I really don't have a lot of respect for the term anymore.
quote:


It seems that even though that learning curve is on both sides, the more popular view is that the bottom should never be "teaching" the top. Doesn't matter that it has to happen for the relationship to work in some shape or form, we have to call it something different.


That seems to be the popular view athough I loan out my ass with a relative degree of frequency to inexperienced tops and, overall, I would say they have been very appreciative of my feedback and advice.

In ways I can understand why bottoms don't want to have to teach the top. It can take away from the romance (not the roses and wine kind of romance) of the dynamic. It's never really bothered me though. In fact, it never occured to me that it might bother other people till I ran into people who were complaining about it!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: training - 12/25/2009 12:30:39 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

You train your animals, you don't train people.


Of course you do. Every time you interact with one. You choose how to respond to them. Feedback affects behavior, and the only question is whether or not you are going to consciously direct the feedback you give people, or let it be random. I choose to reinforce desireable behavior in the world around me, and to discourage undesireable behavior. I choose to try to brighten the day of people whose mood will affect others. In this way, I shape the world I live in every day, and train the people around me to be better citizens.

Incidentally, speciesism is kind of silly. People are animals, too. Just a different kind of animal, s'all.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: training - 12/25/2009 12:38:02 PM   
osf


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quote:

Incidentally, speciesism is kind of silly. People are animals, too. Just a different kind of animal, s'all.


actually we're apes

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: training - 12/25/2009 2:13:38 PM   
leadership527


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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
can we come up with a different concept than train/training?
Well, WE cannot because I happen to like the concept of training... not as it's normally thought of by most people, but I have an internally consistent and reasonable definition that works for me.

Now, if YOU want a different concept, then knock yourself out.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: training - 12/25/2009 9:43:02 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

actually we're apes


Actually, you're an ape, I'm an aspie.

Or something. Who cares.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: training - 12/25/2009 11:50:17 PM   
SirTaskMaster1


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Why come up with a different concept? Training is conditioning. We train our subs, no two ways about it. We reward for desired behavior and punish for undesired behavior. I have trained My slave to answer questions more clearly, to not make assumptions, to not top from the bottom, to ask questions instead of assume, how to obey properly, etc etc.  Why would we need a different concept? My slave is a grown woman and there were many things she could not do as far as behavior. Training has shaped her nicely.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: training - 12/26/2009 6:41:45 AM   
osf


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Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirTaskMaster1

Why come up with a different concept? Training is conditioning. We train our subs, no two ways about it. We reward for desired behavior and punish for undesired behavior. I have trained My slave to answer questions more clearly, to not make assumptions, to not top from the bottom, to ask questions instead of assume, how to obey properly, etc etc.  Why would we need a different concept? My slave is a grown woman and there were many things she could not do as far as behavior. Training has shaped her nicely.


it's just that i think training has been misused and overused so i thought a new term could be thought off to be used till that too became over and misused lol

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to SirTaskMaster1)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: training - 12/26/2009 9:37:11 AM   
Acer49


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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

can we come up with a different concept than train/training?



Dogs need to be trained, not people. Don't make a major production out of it, it is not rocket science. simply show or them what you desire and go from there

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: training - 12/26/2009 6:15:38 PM   
kittykat45


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I have been told so many different things about training but for me i dont understand how taking a person and making them have so many orgasms as possible is training or punishment can someone please explain to me about things please

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: training - 12/26/2009 6:19:33 PM   
osf


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittykat45

I have been told so many different things about training but for me i dont understand how taking a person and making them have so many orgasms as possible is training or punishment can someone please explain to me about things please


is this online?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to kittykat45)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: training - 12/26/2009 10:10:22 PM   
QuirkyAnne


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Advising, coaching, developing, enlightening, explaining, instructing, guiding, indoctrinating, informing, initiating, schooling.

Pick one.

Anne

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: training - 12/26/2009 10:14:59 PM   
osf


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Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

Advising, coaching, developing, enlightening, explaining, instructing, guiding, indoctrinating, informing, initiating, schooling.

Pick one.

Anne



i'd rather bash her till she does what i want, so lets call it bashing

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: training - 12/26/2009 10:48:40 PM   
QuirkyAnne


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Joined: 9/17/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


i'd rather bash her till she does what i want, so lets call it bashing


Are you planning on telling her what you want her to do first, or do you just plan on letting the fists fly and hope she picks up on your wishes telepathically?

Anne

< Message edited by QuirkyAnne -- 12/26/2009 10:59:05 PM >

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: training - 12/27/2009 7:20:04 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


i'd rather bash her till she does what i want, so lets call it bashing


Are you planning on telling her what you want her to do first, or do you just plan on letting the fists fly and hope she picks up on your wishes telepathically?

Anne


that's a great fantasy but my method is to delve into her reasons for being/wanting to see if there's something there to work with

the most important thing i want to know is will she go to the cops


_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: training - 12/27/2009 11:01:15 AM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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Statistically speaking, she probably won't.

That doesn't necessarily make it all that legal, though.

Move to the middle east with her or something if that's your deal.

No western nation state recognizes an individual's right to submit to everything.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: training - 12/27/2009 12:29:32 PM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


i'd rather bash her till she does what i want, so lets call it bashing


Are you planning on telling her what you want her to do first, or do you just plan on letting the fists fly and hope she picks up on your wishes telepathically?

Anne


that's a great fantasy but my method is to delve into her reasons for being/wanting to see if there's something there to work with

the most important thing i want to know is will she go to the cops



As I said, are you planning on telling her what to do first, or is the whole goal of your search for a sub to find one who will agree to be your personal punching bag, and upon reaching that agreement, beginning a daily regimen of wailing on her like a crazed gorilla?

Anne

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: training - 12/27/2009 12:45:49 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


i'd rather bash her till she does what i want, so lets call it bashing


Are you planning on telling her what you want her to do first, or do you just plan on letting the fists fly and hope she picks up on your wishes telepathically?

Anne


that's a great fantasy but my method is to delve into her reasons for being/wanting to see if there's something there to work with

the most important thing i want to know is will she go to the cops



As I said, are you planning on telling her what to do first, or is the whole goal of your search for a sub to find one who will agree to be your personal punching bag, and upon reaching that agreement, beginning a daily regimen of wailing on her like a crazed gorilla?

Anne




now that you mention it, hmmmmmm

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: training - 12/27/2009 1:36:05 PM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

now that you mention it, hmmmmmm


What... You hadn't thought of this before deciding that you wanted a woman to abuse and BBQ?

Anne

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: training - 12/27/2009 1:37:37 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuirkyAnne

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

now that you mention it, hmmmmmm


What... You hadn't thought of this before deciding that you wanted a woman to abuse and BBQ?

Anne



bbq too?

you're getting better and better

wanna see my dolcett collection?

< Message edited by osf -- 12/27/2009 1:38:05 PM >


_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to QuirkyAnne)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: training - 12/27/2009 3:21:42 PM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

bbq too?

you're getting better and better

wanna see my dolcett collection?


No.  I'd like to see just one intelligent and well thought out response from you as opposed to your usual glib responses which dodge serious questions.

Anne

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 120
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