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Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 3:40:54 AM

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I used to go to a Fem Domme club in the UK but stopped going when I saw it for what it was.

The Mistress gets in for free and the submissive male pays a kings ransom. As in most fem Domme clubs, the women sit around being worshipped and the men scury back and forth from the bar buying the drinks, polishing shoes and giving out foot massages before eagerly paying for the Dommes taxi home.
One of the reasons I stopped going is because the pro Dommes came out in droves. The club just became a huge networking base for picking up clients and it all started to feel very unreal.
On my final night at the club I witnessed something that I would like to share with you and I would be interested in your opinion.

I am sitting next to two Mistresses. One is obviously training the other in the art of domination. In walks an old guy in a school uniform and Mistress teacher turns to her student and says 'look and learn darling'. She then gets up and proceeds over to the school boy, whips his hat off and throws it into the crowd, slaps his face and says 'on your fucking knees NOW'. The man looked a bit stunned but said 'pleased don't do that. Im really not into this sort of humiliation..Im just a school boy'. The Misstress is undaunted and starts to scream at him 'I said get on your fucking knees BITCH' and without further ado hits him so hard round the head that she virtually knocks him over. The guy picks himself up, brushes himself off and like a little steak of lightning throws one punch at the Mistress bopping her clean on the nose.
At this point I turn to her apprentice and ask 'did you learn something here?'
The school boy was very unceremoniously kicked out of the club and the Mistress was comforted and cajoled by both the promoter and all the subs that were lining up to tell her how terrible this man was.

Personally I think she should of been kicked out on her ear.

What do you think?

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 4:50:51 AM

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I remember you relating this story on the boards before, Maria. If I remember correctly, the other additional bit of information was that the male was kicked out of the club for his actions, but not the female. Am I right?

Personally, I find the behavior of the female deplorable. It's one thing to engage in face slapping with a bottom who has consented to the activity. It's assault if just approaching someone to haul off and hit them. Being at a club doesn't change that. In My opinion, it's no different than walking up to someone and doing it on the street.

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 4:59:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I remember you relating this story on the boards before, Maria. If I remember correctly, the other additional bit of information was that the male was kicked out of the club for his actions, but not the female. Am I right?

Personally, I find the behavior of the female deplorable. It's one thing to engage in face slapping with a bottom who has consented to the activity. It's assault if just approaching someone to haul off and hit them. Being at a club doesn't change that. In My opinion, it's no different than walking up to someone and doing it on the street.

Thats right LadyPact, it has to be about a year ago now that this happened and I have not been back to the club since, but I have recently heard that this same man has been banned permanently from 3 major London clubs because of that incident and personally I think that's unfair.

I don't agree with anyone hitting anyone if its unconsensual but as she started it. I also don't believe in humiliating someone unless its consensual or obnoxious behavior warrants it. He was acting in self deference, after all she had been warned. Yes he could of just walked away but then none of us know how we will react to a hard slap round the head from a stranger.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 5:11:29 AM

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quote:

What do you think?

Based on the facts that you presented:

I think she's an idiot that doesn't know boundaries and seriously has anger management issues.

I think that meeting violence with violence is no better.

They are both at fault.

- LA

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 5:39:31 AM

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I agree completely with your second paragraph. I probably should have mentioned that I think the male in this case was only acting in self defense. I'm sorry for the omission. It's a bit early on this side of the pond and the caffeine hasn't quite kicked in yet. LOL.

The being barred from three clubs just goes to show how imbalanced these things are at times. I've had My share of 'special' treatment at certain establishments. It has everything to do with the business angle. Female tops who play, want to engage in several scenes during the course of an evening with multiple bottoms, bring in the business of those male bottoms who are hoping to get a spot on the dance card. It happens even more so when certain featured players tend to bring in greater numbers at the door. I'm not sure of how this works where you are, but here, it's not uncommon for clubs to have a demo portion at the beginning of the evening before open play begins. If it's similar, your prior experience in managing a club gives you some idea of what I'm saying here. Certain folks are just plain good revenue.

I don't think that gives them blanket permission to show their ass (figuratively) in public or give them an excuse to act inappropriately. I most likely wouldn't attend a club that would condone that kind of behavior.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 6:28:03 AM

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If you know the fellow, perhaps you could arrange for him and introduction to a club run by promoters with more sense. Indeed, the "Dumbinatrix" was entirely out of line. And hitting an old man that hard? without his prior knowledge or consent? I'd probably have thought long and hard about decking her, myself. I would have, at least, spoken with someone in the man's defense, relaying everything I had witnessed. I believe in defending underdogs. Perhaps it's not too late?

QR

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 6:45:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I agree completely with your second paragraph. I probably should have mentioned that I think the male in this case was only acting in self defense. I'm sorry for the omission. It's a bit early on this side of the pond and the caffeine hasn't quite kicked in yet. LOL.

The being barred from three clubs just goes to show how imbalanced these things are at times. I've had My share of 'special' treatment at certain establishments. It has everything to do with the business angle. Female tops who play, want to engage in several scenes during the course of an evening with multiple bottoms, bring in the business of those male bottoms who are hoping to get a spot on the dance card. It happens even more so when certain featured players tend to bring in greater numbers at the door. I'm not sure of how this works where you are, but here, it's not uncommon for clubs to have a demo portion at the beginning of the evening before open play begins. If it's similar, your prior experience in managing a club gives you some idea of what I'm saying here. Certain folks are just plain good revenue.

I don't think that gives them blanket permission to show their ass (figuratively) in public or give them an excuse to act inappropriately. I most likely wouldn't attend a club that would condone that kind of behavior.

Absolutely agree. We always had a guest Mistress list and we chose carefully! The Mistress with a big following would always get an invite and we could more or less judge our door numbers by that. The Mistress that played throughout the evening was noticed and would often be invited back on the guest list or as a guest Mistress. We chose our house dungeon Mistresses carefully too and yes we always had either demos or play kick offs at the start of the evening.
Like you, I'm up on the floor most of the night and so I get on most clubs guest lists.. even now!

I know this is pretty sad but I can say this as I am an ex promoter now! but we even used to instruct the photographer to take pictures of the beautiful Dommes because we knew that would encourage more revenue.

On the other hand we would never of put up with what I witnessed that night and 'she' would of been kicked out. I once witnessed a Mistress in my club spit in the eye of a sub guy as she walked past. I didn't hesitate to approach her and give her a warning. Consequently she left in a huff!
On the whole I think most Mistresses that go to these clubs are eloquent but you do get the odd naughty one!!!

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 6:54:09 AM

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I am in a similar situation.... about a specific local "Domme".. I took my question the what about this sitituation... and it was simple this... if you worry about the consequences the what happens if... Do what you think is right... I would call those clubs.. tell them you witnessed xyz and she basically assulted this man without his consent because to my mind what she did was actionable in a legal sense... just my two cents.

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(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 6:58:00 AM

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Hi Queen Rah, I don't personally know the guy. It came to me by a friend of a friend of a friend. You know what a small world the scene is!
There are plenty of clubs much more suited to his sort of fetish and if he's eager Im sure he can get his hands on the whereabouts of them.
A schoolboy at a Goddess party is never a good match!! Most of the guys in that club that night would of given their right arm to of been slapped down by that woman. Its just she got it wrong in his case and then wouldn't back down when told 'NO' because I guess she wanted to save face in front of her apprentice.

I did actually speak to the promoter of this club. He's a really nice guy but because he is a genuine woman worshiper, he just couldn't see that she had done anything wrong and considered the boot and ban a warning to the other male subs.

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 7:14:01 AM

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Hi LadyAngelica, I really don't believe this woman has anger issues. I think its more a case of wrongly believing that any man who is submissive is willing to kneel for her. I mean, if she had grabbed him by the ear and whispered 'who's been a naughty boy then?' he would probably been butter in her hands. She just got it wrong and couldn't face up to it.

Its ok coming out as a beautiful pro Mistress. All it takes is a vampish dress, high heels, some carefully chosen lipstick and a firm voice but some of these women, in fact a lot of these women have woken up broke one morning and thought 'I know, Ill be a pro Mistress and earn loads of dosh' and unfortunately its often these women that wrongly believe that every sub male that walks this earth wants to lick clean toilet seats and worship her feet!

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(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 7:20:19 AM

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If i were the man in question i wouldn't care about getting banned from those clubs. The money he was spending there should go to a Pro Dom that he trusted.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 8:12:46 AM

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Her behaviour is of course completely out of line. His reaction, given the provocation, less so. Overall however the promoter/organiser is primarily at fault; not only for handling the consequent course of events badly, but also for permitting and enabling such a situation to arise at all. He should feel grateful indeed to not be facing at the least a civil suit.

Clearly, all moral and ethical reasoning aside, criminal offences were committed here and not simply an unprovoked assault (for which there is no defence) followed by a very much provoked assault (which may be readily defended). Additionally, the promoter might find himself charged with all manner of accessorial offences. There is no criminal defence available to any party here on the grounds of the terms and conditions of entry; such conditions may be express and written, but there is no right to solicit or consent to a criminal offence that might be enabled thereby and liability for injury may not be limited, even so. Whether written and express or not, certain conditions are implied - that the promoter has a certain duty of care for instance, regardless.

In civil law, the promoter has very likely failed in his duty of care to this man as well as having likely breached contract and hence might face a claim, and the woman concerned might expect a suit for compensation for injury and psychological distress, (notwithstanding the contributory negligence of the man in being in a venue where it might be understood that such an event might occur, this being part and parcel of its purpose and him understanding that), and notwithstanding that any such civil claim would be superseded by a criminal trial.

In reality however, I would not expect the man assaulted and ejected to be very willing to take any action whatever, since to do so might expose him to social difficulties of greater impact than this incident. And this is where this woman and the promoter effectively escape legal sanction.

What they cannot escape however is the verdicts reached on their respective merits by others who witnessed, or are subsequently informed of the incident. I would suggest that anyone now associating with such people, known to have acted in such a way, is asking for trouble at some stage - because it would seem clear from the facts of the case that neither of them feel under any obligation whatsoever to observe any form of moral or ethical limitation to their behaviour.

E

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 8:14:46 AM

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Not only attacked and abused, but slandered and now treated as a poor domme abuser... that just isn't right. I think I would want to defend him and let people know that you can be abused in this particular club as long as there is a man running it that thinks this kind of thing is proper. He should lose business over this. The dominant, I don't care if it was a club that cater's to bdsm or not, should have been arrested or at least banned, in my opinion... although I don't know how clubs work this sort of thing. I can see with no further action, other clubs banning someone they 'think' is bad because of what they were told, to protect their client base, but I think I would be very tempted to tell what I saw even if it landed me in a shit storm.

Of course everyone there petting the poor dear who got punched and not seeing the wrong that was done as a wrong, have a voice too. That could create a shit storm for anyone saying anything... but... still... I feel for the guy or any other that goes in and gets this kind of treatment. It plays on my sense of right and wrong in a big way.

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 8:51:04 AM

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LadyEllen, that was a really interesting read ty.
The promoter didn't see the incident. All he saw was a woman with a bleeding nose and an old man looking rather baffled but unharmed. The promoter acted on his instincts at the time. He witnessed an injured woman and an unharmed man. He should however, of listened to the witnesses that saw the act and he should of further investigated it.

Lockit Im like you in that I hate to see an injustice. This particular incident really did bother me and for it to re-surface that the guy is was permanently banned from 2 other clubs as well as this one has made me want to do something about it.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 1/22/2010 8:53:37 AM >

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 9:11:27 AM

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I'm not sure what you can do about it ATJ, except to warn those in your immediate circle.

Unless you know the names, and preferably whereabouts, of those concerned you have nothing to proceed on? And this notwithstanding that the man assaulted may not wish to have his identity revealed or take part, (as he should need to) in any action.

And you should be wary too of what you say about the organiser and the woman if you do know who they are; it is very easy to fall foul of defamation law, especially when the incident is one where few witnesses may be available or willing to support a defence. Albeit it can be expensive and complex to conduct to the end, a defamation claim can be brought by just about anyone able to fill the forms and pay the fees, and here, where you have little evidence for what you might say and the case ought to be relatively simple for the claimant on that basis, you might just produce a nice and straightforward payday for the guilty.

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 10:21:30 AM

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I think its too far down the line to do or say anything.
If I had known earlier on I would of had a word with the other two promoters but even if they did agree to let him back in, I doubt he would go. I know I certainly wouldn't if I was him.

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(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 10:23:39 AM

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I attend FemDomme clubs from time to time, however, My favorite clubnights are mixed S&M/BDSM clubs.

That particular senario is all too rife at FemDomme clubs, I have seen some sights, all made Me cringe and I agree unacceptable.

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 10:40:13 AM

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i think its definitly wrong how this was handled, i mean it was his defense, right? 9sure he should havewalked away but easy said than done)

of course, it took mea few minutes of laughign to be able to type (not at him getting kicked out and her not, but at his reaction, lol its somethign i can see myself doing)

(in reply to MistressRouge)

RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 10:51:24 AM

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It could be argued that every male entering the venue had given their consent to what might be called rough treatment at the hands of every female there.

However I believe this episode, even taking the above position to be applicable, demonstrates that consent is never unconditional and that those assuming a dominant role are equally bound by that unconditionality and probably more so given the authority they purport to exercise and are granted by the males.

Indeed this is the reason I should not attend such events. Although I pass well and could readily gain entry as a domme, I would not, because all the males there - to whatever extent they have consented to rough treatment - have very likely consented on the basis that the rough treatment being meted out will be meted out by a woman. If I should do so then I should have violated the conditions of their consent.

And that is exactly what this woman did, whether out of a misunderstanding of the situation on her or his part or sheer arrogance or ignorance. It is a dangerous precedent to set oneself, let alone dangerous to others, to step over the bounds of consent. It becomes so much easier the next time.

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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RE: Naughty Mistress!! - 1/22/2010 11:00:01 AM

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That is a great point among many Lady Ellen! Just by entering there may be some consent of some sort, implied. Yet the man did withdraw concent in asking her to not do that. At that point I would see it as self defense. I would only hope a jury or court would agree!

It is too late to do anything it seems... and yet I know many would wish something could be done. So maybe nothing can be done about this situation, but what might be done in the future would be interesting. Like sending a message that this type of behavior, even in a mistress group or meeting for play, is unacceptable. Just how to do that... I don't know.

He safe worded... with a no. That ought to be enough.

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