Rochsub2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mcbride
Delegation's a biggie, and gets to the heart of something important about power: less is more.
When you delegate responsibility for a sub, two good things happen: you get acknowledgment, and creativity. Every little thing that sub does in pursuit of making your dinner perfect is a tacit acknowledgment of his role and your power, and each thing reinforces the nature of the relationship.
Creativity is Management 101. Rather than the sub just responding to a series of commands, he now has the mandate to use his skills and talents to find creative ways to make things better for you, so rather than passive acceptance of control, you get active and progressive buy-in.
Kudos!!!!! That is one of the most insightful things that i've read on this board in quite some time. i agree with You completely.
i have served far too many Dommes who were so into control, that they prevented me from doing things that i'm certain would have made their experience even more enjoyable. The problem with that controlling management style is that it nullifies the benefits of the knowledge and talents of the sub (since all they are permitted to do is respond to specific commands).
That management style can also potentially leave the Domme in a rut. Rather than learning from the sub, and thereby growing, She instead demands that things be done the same way She has always had them done (the very definition of a rut). The flaw in this logic is that it assumes that the Domme is always right and always knows best. But the reality is that unless She is omniscient, this cannot be the case. Thus, there are always new things that She can learn, many of which would benefit Her.
One example that immediately comes to mind is a Domme that i used to serve who used to have me chauffeur her around quite often. She would always give me very specific direction of the route that She wanted to travel. "Turn left here", "Turn right at the next light", etc. One thing that i noticed immediately was that She didn't know many shortcuts. She would always go the longest, but most obvious routes to places (like a tourist would in a new town). i almost always knew of alternative routes that would avoid traffic and get us there much faster. But She would never allow me to take the route that i had in mind. In my opinion, She prevented me from "ensuring her comfort" (to use Lady Angelika's term).
Similarly, if a Dom/Domme has a sub who has extensive knowledge in a particular area, they should let that sub make suggestions. The Dom/Domme doesn't have to implement the suggestion, but IMO, it is foolish to not even allow the suggestion. Like if the sub has extensive knowledge of wines, and the Domme does not, why not allow the sub to make a wine suggestion each time you have dinner together? To me, that is using the sub's skills/knowledge to Your greatest advantage.
Delegation is an important skill for any manager. Unfortunately, many Doms/Dommes don't realize that management principles apply to the D/s dynamic as well as they do to the business world.
Edit: i do realize that there are some Doms/Dommes who enjoy the control more than the final end product. For that person, micro-managing every tiny detail may bring them more joy than they would derive from the sub offering a potentially better solution.
< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 3/20/2010 4:23:39 PM >
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"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead
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. Sometimes I order for him, sometimes I allow him to select. He always asks if I do not tell him ahead of time. Sometimes I tell him to order me such and such, which he does. 
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