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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/18/2010 8:48:45 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Loki45

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Loki, now why would you assume that because a woman has power over a man that she is playing games with him? I've had power over many men and some of them I adored a great deal.

Did you miss the part of my post that read "those types?" That in itself should indicate that I am not saying "all women," only the types brought about by the OP.

Yeah I missed the part where you wrote *those types*. Time to rest my tired eyes ;-)

- LA

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/18/2010 8:51:45 PM

wittynamehere

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ORIGINAL: subartist
I once had a coworker, who was really cute, and she ordered a pizza. And when the guy came to deliver it, she asked him if it came with a soda? He said no of course. But then he came back like 5 minutes later with a soda for her.

Sounds to me like he was working her, not the other way around. Maybe it's your perspective?

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 4:28:39 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

What is wrong with talking in general terms, then illustrating with specific examples?

I think when you take the likes of Pamela Anderson and Kim Kardashian (Who she? OK, I'll google) as exemplars of those who hold 'feminine power of over men' it implies that while there may be such a power for women to tap into, it's a very difficult power to tap into, and one that costs both the pocket and the soul.

To be blunt, when I see the subject of 'feminine powers' talked about by men, I have a strong feeling that most of the women reading will think 'Yeah, right. The feminine powers of maybe one in a thousand women'. The thread will be started by a man who, no doubt, has the best intentions and in the assumes that women will feel complimented and encouraged. I keep noticing that they don't feel that way, however. Many of them actually seem depressed and angry.

OK, forget being PC - I'll speak only from an entirely selfish, submale perspective. I want lots more women to feel a great deal sexier. (I especially want latently dominant women, or women who are just starting out as femdoms, actually to pluck up the nerve to dominate - which might require them to feel even sexier than their vanilla counterparts.) The trouble is, that won't happen unless women feel sexy pretty much as they are - with the bodies and faces that they have now, without the pressure to dress or act in a certain way, and much less without having to mortgage their homes to pay for the requisite weights of plastic to be pumped into their bodies.

To compound the problem, I understand various surveys have shown that the average woman tends to feel less attractive than she's considered to be by both females and males. The average man, though, believes that he's *more* attractive than he really is. The average man seems to want to have sex more often than the average woman - and I have a hypothesis that this difference in the sexes' respective view of their attractiveness has some small thing to do with that imbalance. I would like there to be less of this imbalance - for men's best interests - but particularly for *my* best interests. Because, in case it's not clear: I'd quite like to be bonking more than I am at present.

There. I hope I've succeeded in demonstrating how un-PC I can be. ;-) I feel uncomfortable saying all this stuff because in threads about 'women's power/superiority/supremacy over men' I frequently feel that there's a certain, always-tacit, competition going on - between those men who want to compliment women one way (women have this great power they don't know about, etc), and those who want to compliment women in a way that is diametrically opposed (women are full of flaws but those flaws don't matter, etc).

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 5:44:38 PM

LadyEllen

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It seems to me Peon that with that sort of talk there ought to be a thread about the power men might have over women.

Greatly surprised youre not bonking a whole lot more!

E

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 5:48:35 PM

PeonForHer

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Thank you, Lady E. However, I've recently discovered that bonking requires leaving the house. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day.

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 5:53:02 PM

LadyEllen

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I can see why being a recluse might cramp your style (there's a pun in there somewhere)

The secret is to put up a sign outside your house reading "Stiletto Boots For Sale".

This will draw dommes from miles around - once theyre inside the house its up to you. You silver tongue should come in handy (no, not a pun, dirty boy!)

E

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 5:55:21 PM

eihwaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

What is wrong with talking in general terms, then illustrating with specific examples?

Nothing at all -- if the examples are truly representative of the general case.

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 6:05:06 PM

LadyCimarron

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Yes. I believe that women can pretty much get men to do anything. Not just the over sexualized women either. But all of us. And a lot of men cater to us without even knowing that they are doing it. I know some will disagree but I see what the OP is talking about. And his idea of feminine power is not a new idea, in fact its very old. In 400 BC a play called Lysistrata was first performed. It was about a group of women who stopped a war by refusing to be intimate with any men until the war was over. So the concept of feminine power does seem to have some validity.

Just as a humorus note, there was an episode of the Golden Girls where Rose wanted a dog and she and Blanche had an exchange that went something like this

Blanche: you don't need a dog, get a man.

Rose: I don't want a man, I want someone who will lick my face and do tricks and fetch a ball when I throw it.

Blanche: You can get a man to do that.

Blanche was an older woman who had a lot of feminine power and was not afraid to use it. She makes me look forward to being a golden girl.

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 6:16:04 PM

Lockit

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The problem with Blanch was she did what she did from what I saw as a needy, insecure place because she had to do it to feel normal or fulfill something within herself. The men were enjoyable, but she fed off of them from a place that was empty inside herself. In most the shows you didn't see that but they did have some that proved she wasn't all that secure and did it to build herself up. A false image of what she thought was of value.

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 7:23:26 PM

LadyCimarron

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I agree that Blanche often showed insecurities but most often those insecurities came from the fact she was sometimes rejected because of her age. And that was the thing that she valued, her lost youth not her sexual power. Her character often represented the physical and sexual insecurities that all of us feel as we grow older in society. But, more often than not I think her character was very secure in her feminine power and usually in control of what happened between her and men as evidenced in the many times she showed men the door telling them "and to think; I was gonna sleep with you!"

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 7:52:18 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron

Yes. I believe that women can pretty much get men to do anything. Not just the over sexualized women either. But all of us. And a lot of men cater to us without even knowing that they are doing it. I know some will disagree but I see what the OP is talking about. And his idea of feminine power is not a new idea, in fact its very old. .

I don't doubt that that sort of power is there, Lady C, and I'm sure it's a big power, too. But it's fleeting. With every partner I've had, it's been there just for an instant, now and then. Instants that are etched in my memory. But neither men nor women should hope for it to be there all of the time, I think.

quote:

In 400 BC a play called Lysistrata was first performed. It was about a group of women who stopped a war by refusing to be intimate with any men until the war was over.

You're right - the theme of that feminine power is ancient and enduring. The fact that it's contained in many myths, legends and stories right up to the present day, is testament to that. But those stories generally convey warnings, too. For a start, the power that women use is often referred to as 'glamour'. This word has only recently come to apply to Hollywood-style 'cool'. It was once taken to refer to a magical-occult spell. There was often the sense that the spell would give its user a superficial beauty, while the 'inside' of her was rotting, dying, or evil. (The Witch in Sleeping Beauty, for instance.) They lose their humanity, in short.

As for the men who became enchanted by that glamour - they lose their humanity, and become ugly, as well. In Greek myth, for instance, Circe enchants Odysseus's men and turns them into pigs. A classic, twentieth century version of that theme was the Professor's degeneration as a result of his enchantment by Marlene Dietrich's cabaret-star character in The Blue Angel.

Nonetheless, a dose of that glamour - for fleeting instants - is wonderful both for women and for men. Neither sex is going to be destroyed by it, so long as it does its stuff just occasionally, then blows itself away so that we can all be human again, cherishing the memory of it, though not trying to clutch onto it. But not only should it vanish, it always does vanish. Not even Pam Anderson can maintain the glamour day in, day out, forever.

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/19/2010 9:22:13 PM

cloudboy

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Its all in the Shakespearean sonnets, isn't it?

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/20/2010 3:55:40 AM

PeonForHer

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All right, all right - I went off on a pompous one, there. I don't do it *that* often.

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/20/2010 11:52:43 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Hmph. I still say that power that comes from the sexAY is not power at all. It's one gender or the other being ruled by their gonads.

And I should know this, being of the Hot Old Broad variety!

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/20/2010 12:10:45 PM

slavekal

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But your gender makes the gonads light up. That is the power. Women can entice and seduce men to do almost anything. That is power.

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/20/2010 12:15:53 PM

LadyHibiscus

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It works both ways, though, honest. And it's equally worthless both ways. If I had to have a double mastectomy, or was in a fire and was terribly burned, would I lose my admirers? Or just the hangers-on?

Yes, it is very amusing to be able to "make" things happen because of my looks. But I know that it isn't real most of the time. It's just a fun little game, tease and denial, smile pretty and let em know that it won't ever happen but hey thanks!

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/20/2010 10:07:56 PM

MarcEsadrian

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I think Peon's on to something.

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/21/2010 1:17:55 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It works both ways, though, honest. And it's equally worthless both ways. If I had to have a double mastectomy, or was in a fire and was terribly burned, would I lose my admirers? Or just the hangers-on?

Yes, it is very amusing to be able to "make" things happen because of my looks. But I know that it isn't real most of the time. It's just a fun little game, tease and denial, smile pretty and let em know that it won't ever happen but hey thanks!

In this lifestyle it certainly doesn't need to be about looks. When I was on these boards and on the scene as a dominant woman (only 2 years ago) I had a huge following of males and I expect it would of been the same if I had been submissive.
Once I declared myself a switch with a partner, I suddenly became unatractive. Guys that had previously been attentive to me, were no longer interested. The funniest part was on forums like this. When I was 'dominant' I had a certain number of submissive guys that hung off every word I said. They gave me power, they defended me to the hilt but now I get very little respect off submissive guys on here, some will even try to bully me and I most certainly don't feel desirable anymore.

When I go to clubs and parties now, I no longer have a bunch of guys hankering over me. I can look over at dominant women of all age, shapes and sizes and watch with amusement at the huge amount of attention they are given. I think to myself, wow I used to be like that a short time ago and all that attention did make me feel good about myself. Becoming a switch, dressing down and letting everyone know that I am not here to dominate has been the quickest way of making myself powerless and unattractive!

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/21/2010 1:50:03 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

A very long time ago, I ran into a man who looked like the cover of many popular romance novels. He was buff, he was handsome and he had long flowing hair, whether he was an duke, pirate or prince. This man was drop dead gorgeous, personable and intelligent! I talked with him for a while, wanting to hook him up with some people I knew in the Hollywood scene. I had had two male wives basically and yet didn't know about d/s and bdsm. So I was surprised when this man was interested but had to check with his woman. I asked who she was because I was thinking I would have a little chat with her. He pointed and I nearly fell off my chair!

This Adonis had been madly and submissively in love with a woman who had not been graced in life with any good looks whatsoever! I could not believe his devotion to this woman who clearly did not care for herself in any manner and who acted more like a bar room whore, totally ignoring him until he was of use.

Some of the most dominant women I have known with a long term relationship with very handsome men, were not even on a pretty scale. It was how they conducted themselves, the mental and emotional triggers that they caused in men and man was I envious!

I don't think of these women as dominant but domineering.
My ex husband was drop dead gorgeous according to other women. He turned heads wherever he went and I should think a fare few of those turning their heads, looked at me and thought 'whats a nice guy like that doing with her?!?!'
Like the guy you describe, he was hugely attentive to me. He was there at my beck and call and never cast eyes on another woman.
I was never dominant to him but I was very domineering. I was the Mistress of manipulation, I wrapped him round my little finger and I had him running around at my heels like a good little puppy dog. The old saying goes, 'treat em mean, keep them keen' and this was most certainly the case here.
I'm making myself sound like a real bitch... well I was! I couldn't respect a guy that could never defend himself, didn't have the capacity to make a decision and needed micro managing.
I used to go shopping and spend many thousands of pounds without him knowing and then say to him 'I've been shopping and you need to reimburse my bank balance' and him not batting an eye but just saying 'yes dear' It was like pissing money up a wall and I did it because I NEEDED a reaction from him. I NEEDED him to show me that he had enough courage to refuse to jump through every hoop I put in front of him. I saw him as a weak man, I treated him as a weak man and he was happy to be my weak man. The trouble is, it turned me off, allowed me to use him in a very negative way and it never made me feel powerful, it made me feel lonely.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 5/21/2010 1:51:34 AM >

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RE: The natural power that women have over men... - 5/21/2010 1:58:31 AM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

In this lifestyle it certainly doesn't need to be about looks.

With all due respect, Maria: I've met you. You're utterly gorgeous. It's very easy for a gorgeous person to say 'it's not about looks'.

I'd hazard a guess that the loss of attention was due to unavailability-men (in the generic) won't chase what they know they can't have. So looks could still be a necessary but not sufficient condition to have that power, without altering your experiences-you have to be beautiful AND potentially available. So then it's about both those things...

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