Proprietrix
Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
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I'm really going to try hard to address these statements without flaming or insulting, and keep my eyes on the post, not the poster. (God grant me the strength!)
quote:
dommes claim men don't read their ads
From what I have personally experienced, I receive about 5-10 messages a day (and a few more on the weekends) in which the man writing the message has apparently either not read my profile, or has chosen to ignore information I included in my profile. It is frustrating and I do bitch about it more than I probably should in the futile hope that a few men will hear my bitching and make a more concerted effort to judge compatiblity before messaging.
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the men's guide to reading reading personal ads
I understand that this is one's person's perspective and may or may not reflect the perspectives of others. But then, I feel that way about any guide written on any subject matter.
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harem/stable et al = I'm incapable of making a commitment. I need to feed my ego with multiple partners. I only see my partners as trophies not people.
I don't see a logical connection between harems, stables, poly (insert appropriate word for one's particular situation), and commitment. If all parties involved are involved consensually, willingly, and happily, then the personal level of commitment may or may not be relavent. I don't see that commitment is relative to number of people involved.
For me personally, having multiple partners is 1.) not an appropriate useage of wording because my submissives have relationships with one another, not just me (i.e. family rather than several one-on-one relationships), and 2.) though being loved by many is sure to feel nice to anyone's ego, self-pride is certainly not the goal in seeking out more members for a household.
I don't see my subs/slaves as trophies. If I wanted trophies, there are plenty of skills I excel at in which they could be acquired much more easily than acquiring submissives. I have no audience to which I "show-off" my subs. There is no award ceremony at which I line up all my subs. It's a day-to-day living environment and I quite frankly don't give one iota of shit who does or does not know how many submissives I have at any given point in time.
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It's all about me = It's all about me because I have nothing to offer as a person. I work a dead end menial job, I have a poor education I'm a trashy low-life who's using being a dominant to make up for all that's lacking in my life.
I would guess that many Dominant women have begun adding this to their profile because they grew frustrated of submissives who have come across as thinking that power exchange relationships are supposed to be centered around the desires and fetishes of the submissive. I've witnessed so very much that submissives say "what do I get out of it?????" and Dominants ask "what do you want out of it???" and the submissives answer with a blank stare.
I feel that the community at large is in a changing and growing point right now where people on both sides of the fence have veered away from traditional power exchange roles, into fetishism, and are trying to gear back into those traditional roles. It has put many people in a place where they are questioning who is supposed to be meeting whose needs in D/s.
I don't think that this in any way reflects what one has to offer as a person or what job they hold or what their education level is or their socioeconomic status. Those demographics are totally irrelavent to a community trying to define roles and develop titles for their places in a subculture.
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Service oriented = Theft of services oriented. I'm lazy, not really in bdsm and I'm scamming men by using their sexual orientation to extract goods and services from them.
This really is an insult not just to Dominant women seeking service oriented submissives, but also an insult to service oriented submissives themselves. One's desire to have a service oriented submissive really has no direct bearing on whether or not one is lazy. It's completely contradictory to assume that it has any bearing on one's depth into BDSM.
I'm having a very difficult time making a connection between "looking for a service oriented slave" and "scamming men by using their sexual orientation to extract goods and services". How is one's duties in anyway related to their sexual orientation? I just can't make any logical connection here, and therefore can't comment.
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Female supremacy[ist] = I'm terrified about being judged on the content of my character. I don't have what it takes to be loved and respected because of whom I amd so I'll use an accident of birth to claim a role I can't earn on my merits.
Female supremacy, much like religion, is a system of beliefs about hierarchy. Again, it is irrelavent to one's character, perceived lovability, or self-efficacy. My only suggestion here is to learn about matriarchy so as to not make faulty comparisons.
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BBW = Are nearly never beautiful. I lack self control, a major component in being dominant.I'm not secure enough with myself to admit that I'm fat.
This is simply one's opinion as I'm sure the majority of us are aware that beauty is relative, subjective, and based on individual preference and taste. I will agree that *some* overweight people lack self-control in at least one area of life. Not all. Some people choose to keep a certain amount of weight because they find themselves more attractive heavier than lighter. Some really don't consider it either way and just live their life. I wouldn't stretch any physical characteristic so far as to draw the conclusion that "because you have X physical trait, you lack X emotional ability". That, once again, is an illogical correlation.
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No sex = I don't want to have a full balanced well rounded relationship. We'll make a exception if you're married to someone not in the scene or to a dominant.
This particular sentence is one I can easily, and personally comment on. Please take the time to learn about asexuality. It is a quickly increasing phenomenon and can be linked directly to the evolutionary phase our society is at. Once one comprehends that connection, it is fairly simple to understand why Dominant women are rapidly finding less and less interest in submissive men with high libidos. Once again, it does not reflect one's desire for balance in a relationship.
Beyond that though, most women only have a certain tolerance level for receiving sexual advances. We grow tired of hearing about penises, orgasms, cbt, chastity, face-sitting, queening, cumming, oral sex, anuses, and on and on and on. It grows tiring. It grows boring. It grows monotonous. It gets old. And for me personally, it shows a very superficial and shallow attitude toward me and what I can offer outside the bedroom. The more I shout out "NO SEX", the more likely I am to NOT receive those unwanted comments and be approached by men who can think above the waistline.
The sentence about making an exception "if you're married to someone not in the scene or to a dominant."..... that went right over my head. I totally don't understand that sentence, or its meaning.
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Into cuckolding. = I lack moral fiber/ethical parameters.
1.) Morals and ethics are subjective, relative, and personally/socially defined.
2.) I suggest educating oneself on cuckolding (and any other subject) before making public statements about it.
3.) If the Cuckoldress, the cuck, and all other involved members are consensual (which by the way is part of the definition of cuckolding), and happy, and want that particular dynamic, then why not advertise for other persons who might want to join?
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I'm into financial servitude. = I'm a whore.
By definition a whore is either engaging in sexual activity for personal gain, or is compromising her own principals for personal gain. Financial servitude might (although usually does not) include sexual activity. If it does, then yes, I would agree. If it does not, then by definition, it cannot be whoring. If she is compromising her principals, then yes, I agree, it is whoring. If she is not, then again, by definition, it cannot be. Please do keep in mind though that some submissive males very much enjoy being financial servants, being blackmailed, "bringing in the bread" for their Lady, paying monetary tribute to their Domina, and making financial offerings to their Goddess.
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I want to be spoiled, take me shopping, et al = I'm a whore.
See my comments above.
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I'm a prodomme. = I'm a cheap and stupid whore. Last time I checked collarme is a personal ad site. If you want clients go to one of the pay sites that cater to prodommes, leave personal sites to people who are looking for relationships. If you do post on a personal site, be looking for a personal relationship not clients. DUH!
AGAIN, invalid conclusions. You are comparing one's profession, with their intelligence level, with their principals. And in doing so, have not only created an antithesis, but also completely contradicted yourself. I personally don't mind seeing Pro ads on CM, but I don't deny that they might be frustrating for submissives looking for non-pros. By definition though, CM is not a "personal ad site". (And I too often make the same mistake of referring to it by that term.) It defines itself as a "BDSM community". Pro-Dommes are part of that community.
When I read the post, I see a very clear pattern all around of illogical correlation and ignorance (i.e. The condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed.)
In order for someone to take a speaker's words seriously, the speaker needs to present him or herself as knowledgable on their subject matter, as well as their intended audience. This post showed both an ignorance of the subject matter, and an ignorance of the audience.
If one wants to make correlations in thier presentation of ideas, I highly suggest taking some basic courses at a local community college on social statistics.
Thank you for taking the time to present your thoughts on the matter, but I personally didn't find them credible at all, a bit flamatory, and lacking at best.
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RE: Mistresses giving up the search??? - 
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