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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 7:02:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domtaur

Imho: If they want money first> theyre Pro dommes= prostitutes

No. Sex for money is prostitution. Play for money is not if no sex is involved. Thinking that D/s is only kinky sex is an unfortunate mindset which Internet porn has fostered.

Yes, today we say D/s is not only kinky sex and that view is what has been born on the net. Far enough back in the day if was all sexual submission or their was...none at all. Porn simply reflects that mind set people had when they came to the net.

Look it up...deSade's whole history. For him, BDSM was almost exclusively...about kinky sex.

And if he was a professional Dom operating in the U.S. today, taking money for "kinky sex", he would be in jail. The vast majority of Pros out there are offering Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism - not -sexual contact-. While the acts are "intimate", they are not by and large sexual. That is how they stay on the right side of prostitution laws.

This is a dating site that attracts all sort of people - including financial Dommes who are looking for cash for contact. If people don't like it, don't play the game...

As for bitching about it, you fill your sails with wasted breath and get no where. You will have better luck railing against the sun coming up tomorrow...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to MrRodgers)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 7:03:42 AM

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You need to ask Domiguy about this. One reason he prefers femsubs to femdoms is that they're never asking for money upfront.

One trick I've found helpful to sidestep this issue is reading profiles to see where the other person is coming from. This tends to clear up a lot of confusion.

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 7:04:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers
I can just imagine what the boards would write if a man demanded tribute from a sub female.

Nah, the male Doms don't ask for money up front. They ask sub females for pussy and naked pics up front.

~sweetsub~

I gotta say "Amen" to that one.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 7:05:33 AM

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 7:37:52 AM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbietom2

i apologize for being so naive, but it seems that every time i FINALLY have the opportunity to start a relationship with a Mistress, Her first request is that i give Her money (i.e., an allowance, tuition, spending money, gifts, etc). While i am certainly more than willing to, and even very excited about the opportunity to shower a potential Mistress with gifts, money, my labor, etc., i am very suspicious about the sincerity of the Mistress when monetary contributions are Her first requirement. As a result, i have ended several very promising relationships before they even started, and i keep questioning myself whether i did the right thing.

Am i out of line in thinking that a D/s relationship should evolve somewhat prior to significant financial demands by the Mistress? i am very sincere in seeking a long term D/s relationship, but it seems to be very difficult.

It can be very difficult to find a long term D/s relationship. You keep trying to find short cuts and instant gratification and this is leading to you coming here and asking questions that you know the answer to. You seem to know if someone asks you for money before they even know you that they are not sincere in wanting any type of an interpersonal relationship because you say you've turned it down before.

Honestly OP take a hard look at this. If you met a vanilla woman on the internet and wanted to start a vanilla relationship with her but she asked you for money first you'd run away. You got a lot of good advice on the last thread you started and don't seem to have taken any of it as your attitude seems the same and you still believe in magic. If you come down to earth someday and see who you are vs what you want and adopt a more realistic view of what you can get you might be more successful.

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 8:25:38 AM

Syrox

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Quick fix. = pay/tribute/whateveryowannacallit a Pro-Domme

Fulfilling = taking to time to get to know someone and work together.

simple question... which is the one you are REALLY after.

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unless otherwise noted this has been a fast reply. brought to you by the letter M and the number 7.

(in reply to lizi)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 8:41:30 AM

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRwz4NszQWU

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(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 8:49:56 AM

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Joined: 5/9/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers
I can just imagine what the boards would write if a man demanded tribute from a sub female.

Nah, the male Doms don't ask for money up front. They ask sub females for pussy and naked pics up front.

~sweetsub~

I gotta say "Amen" to that one.

Only right they ask for it, after all the dick pics we male subs send to "serve" our mistress, and that already in the first mail we send might I add

PS: For the record, I have never sent a dick pic btw, so "we" doesn't reflect on me. I don't even have them, and if I had, it would hardly be anything to write home about

...

_____________________________

If they say why, why?
Tell 'em that it's human nature

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 9:08:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbietom2

While i am certainly more than willing to, and even very excited about the opportunity to shower a potential Mistress with gifts, money, my labor, etc., i am very suspicious about the sincerity of the Mistress when monetary contributions are Her first requirement. As a result, i have ended several very promising relationships before they even started, and i keep questioning myself whether i did the right thing.

Tribute / resources in my estimation shouldn't be the first thing on the roster for opening communications, but it's easy to see why it comes up very early on. Men who wax poetically over their want to give the sun and moon to a nubile femme fatale are routed out 90% of the time with a simple money where the mouth is test.

The online world makes it so easy to make preposterous claims of loyalty and soulful devotion to women men have never even met. The rejoinder of "tribute me then" is very apropos, in my opinion; it forces the virtual to become tangible before anything progresses further. But of course there are always inversions of these points. It's likewise very easy for a pretty air head to hide behind an internet facade and bilk men for cash. All anyone has in the end is intuition and wit. If your methods and targets are not giving you the results you want, change them. It may be for your own good, ultimately. Caveat servus.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 10:04:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Syrox
Still.. I can understand the point of tributes.. although they should never be the first thing asked for.. To my mind the sub gets the best out of the deal and the Dom(me) gets very little from the exchange as far as satisfying their needs goes. . . .

How depressing.

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(in reply to Syrox)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 10:11:51 AM

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Syrox
Still.. I can understand the point of tributes.. although they should never be the first thing asked for.. To my mind the sub gets the best out of the deal and the Dom(me) gets very little from the exchange as far as satisfying their needs goes. . . .

How depressing.

Wow, if that were the case why would ANY of us continue to be domiants? What do you think we SHOULD be getting, Syrox? And are male doms getting the short end as well?

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[page 23 girl]

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 10:16:44 AM

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Joined: 12/29/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gedienstig

Only right they ask for it, after all the dick pics we male subs send to "serve" our mistress, and that already in the first mail we send might I add

PS: For the record, I have never sent a dick pic btw, so "we" doesn't reflect on me. I don't even have them, and if I had, it would hardly be anything to write home about...

dick pics??....ewwww. If a guy sends me a dick pic he is an automatic delete block. Why would I want a pic of something he's never gonna use with me?

< Message edited by LadyCimarron -- 6/8/2010 10:18:48 AM >

(in reply to gedienstig)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 11:14:30 AM

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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Syrox
To my mind the sub gets the best out of the deal and the Dom(me) gets very little from the exchange as far as satisfying their needs goes

What, exactly, do you think a dominant's needs are? Are you operating under the assumption that all dominants are actually submissive, ergo they can't get their needs met by being dominant? WTF is that logic about?

Or are you referring only to an online transaction where nobody is getting a whole lot out of it unless they're strictly looking for random wank fodder?

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to Syrox)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 11:28:32 AM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbietom2

i apologize for being so naive, but it seems that every time i FINALLY have the opportunity to start a relationship with a Mistress, Her first request is that i give Her money (i.e., an allowance, tuition, spending money, gifts, etc). While i am certainly more than willing to, and even very excited about the opportunity to shower a potential Mistress with gifts, money, my labor, etc., i am very suspicious about the sincerity of the Mistress when monetary contributions are Her first requirement. As a result, i have ended several very promising relationships before they even started, and i keep questioning myself whether i did the right thing.

Am i out of line in thinking that a D/s relationship should evolve somewhat prior to significant financial demands by the Mistress? i am very sincere in seeking a long term D/s relationship, but it seems to be very difficult.

Using your own words that I have made bigger and red, I want you to look at what you said. Now look at the underlined words. Promising relationships? Do you actually believe those people who want different things in a 'relationship' were promising potential partners to you? Really? How could these be promising relationships? Please explain that to me.

It would have been perfect if he hadn't had that wife. It would have been wonderful if they hadn't lived across the world. It would have been amazing if they were attractive to me. How wonderful and amazing it would have been if they had actually liked me for me and not for what I could give them.

You're living in a fairytale. How's that working for you?

Those that want your money want you living in a fairytale so that they can take you for whatever you can provide for them, rather than who you are. I do not consider the majority of them professional dominants, as I see them as opportunist and not refined and skilled professional dominants. Those that want a long term relationship want you firmly planted in reality. It doesn't start with those who ask for something of you rather than with you. It all starts with you.

So many complain that all the domina's want money, gifts, and on and on to the point where I need pepto bismo. There are a lot of them out there because there are a lot of men living in a kinky fairytale. But... there are lots of women planted in kinky reality who want more, who are tired of the fairytale unrealistic and want the fairytale of reason, life enhancements and love. Which seems like a fairytale because many men are stuck in the first fairytale. We don't go seeking men in a fairytale unrealistic like men in an unrealistic fantasy hunt us down. We are looking for certain signs that he is realistic and that is what the men who come complaining need to do. It all starts with you.

Get out of the fairytale unreasonable and refine your hunt to those firmly planted in reality that can become a fairytale. I can't say it won't be frustrating in finding a realistic partner to share a created fairytale together, but I can say your eyes will be clear, your head tied on and you will prove more worthy to those who don't charge anything. But until you are realistic... you just may have to give in and pay the money because those of us who are realistic domina's want no part of the fairytale game based in fantasy.

Key word.... YOU.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 11:43:45 AM

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Syrox
Still.. I can understand the point of tributes.. although they should never be the first thing asked for.. To my mind the sub gets the best out of the deal and the Dom(me) gets very little from the exchange as far as satisfying their needs goes. . . .

Wow, if that were the case why would ANY of us continue to be dominants? What do you think we SHOULD be getting, Syrox? And are male doms getting the short end as well?

Question seconded.

There really has to be a symbiosis of some form, or the dynamic won't last. That symbiosis doesn't have to be discernable or in the same currency on the surface, but it's there in every successful relationship that I've had, at least.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:32:35 PM

submale4u2spank

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
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Dommes don't just want money first, they want it second, third and last. Just give them everything you have and see how much longer the relationship last after that. ;-)

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:37:55 PM

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submale4u2spank, you are full of shit. I will not mince words. You don't know a lifestyle domina or you could not say that.

Free of charge... you're an idiot.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:31:11 PM

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
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quote:

Dommes don't just want money first, they want it second, third and last. Just give them everything you have and see how much longer the relationship last after that. ;-)

Sour grapes, sweetie?

My last sub earned way less than me and 90% of the time I paid for dinners out, weekends in NYC, and gifts for him when he was exceptionally pleasing. When he stayed with me he ate my food, used my hot water and watched my TV. His contribution in money: $0.00; his contribution in service to me: priceless.

Service. That's what this Domina wants. If a sub can afford it and wants to buy me stuff, I'm delighted, but I don't demand it.

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:53:58 PM

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Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

Dommes don't just want money first, they want it second, third and last. Just give them everything you have and see how much longer the relationship last after that. ;-)

That's no doubt true about some, but to lay that on the doorstep of all dominant ladies who have men provide them monetary gifts or tributes is unfair, to say the least, and it conveniently leaves you out of the picture in taking any responsibility for the "promising relationship" going south—if there was really potential for one in the first place. Like Lockit, I too believe you are misplacing your hopes and investing (literally) in the wrong ladies. I'll also reiterate my previous advice to you: change your strategy. Something isn't working, and it's not just the Women you're after; you are somehow setting yourself up to fail with the preferences you have and the attitude you carry around.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 7:05:15 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

tom, we've been down this road before.

You're 58. You're fixated on thin, beautiful Dommes. I'm too lazy to give you the same answers you've gotten before. Look at your own profile, and click on View Forum Posts. The you can see your own posts and the replies you have gotten.

Your right, Dark Steven.

Its on page two of ... ask the mistress threads ... last post date May 30, 2010 ... inexperienced sub needs help.

And tom, there is very good advice on that thread.

But we didn't cover this specifically so ...

The Dommes who ask for tribute first ... are at best Pro's ...

but some are convicted CON ARTISTS who will blackmail and manipulate ... there is nothing promising about these ...

Oh, and by the way ... they are only pretending to be Dommes cause they think they can get cash ... and avoid the long arm of the law ... by doing it.

Anyone who asks for money is playing on your naivety .... and giving you attention ... to get the cash. Avoid anyone who asks ... and DO NOT WESTERN UNION them money. No matter how sad the tale of woe ....

Legitimate Dommes are women ... they want love, caring, closeness and everything else typically associated with ... vanilla ... but with a twist.

That said ... there is a lot you can do to solve your inexperience problems ... but threads like these ... repeated ... will not work to attract the Dommes here ... if that is really what you are trying to do.

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 6/8/2010 7:17:51 PM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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