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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 10:11:33 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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quote:

But the thing is most of them are not masquerading or trying to run a scam

Actually Ladies ... there ARE profiles here ... that do not say these things ... and they work a story ... after one interacts with them for a while.

They are quite dangerous ... and very accomplished Cons ...

All is not as cut and dried ... as You make it.

Yes, there is financial Domination ... but ... there are criminals operating here, too ... don't overlook it.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 10:26:23 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
Actually Ladies ... there ARE profiles here ... that do not say these things ... and they work a story ... after one interacts with them for a while.

They are quite dangerous ... and very accomplished Cons ...

Correct, but if you have half a brain, you can generally spot them pretty well by the tell-tales of being set up to be asked for money in fairly short order. Relatives in the hospital, dire financial straits, being stranded without transport (sometimes in Nigeria), and otherwise not really having their lives in such good order, but being just that few hundred bucks away from coming to meet you in person.

If you're asked for money as part of a straightforward professional transaction, you have a chance of getting what you paid for if you pick a decent professional with good business ethics. If you're asked for money for any other reason from a stranger on an adult site whom you've never met in person and have no way of verifying......well, what do you think the chances really are that it's on the up and up?

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 10:33:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

submale4u2spank, you are full of shit. I will not mince words. You don't know a lifestyle domina or you could not say that.

Free of charge... you're an idiot.

Hey, Lockit - here's someone I think you should meet.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 10:35:47 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
Actually Ladies ... there ARE profiles here ... that do not say these things ... and they work a story ... after one interacts with them for a while.

They are quite dangerous ... and very accomplished Cons ...

Correct, but if you have half a brain, you can generally spot them pretty well by the tell-tales of being set up to be asked for money in fairly short order. Relatives in the hospital, dire financial straits, being stranded without transport (sometimes in Nigeria), and otherwise not really having their lives in such good order, but being just that few hundred bucks away from coming to meet you in person.

If you're asked for money as part of a straightforward professional transaction, you have a chance of getting what you paid for if you pick a decent professional with good business ethics. If you're asked for money for any other reason from a stranger on an adult site whom you've never met in person and have no way of verifying......well, what do you think the chances really are that it's on the up and up?

Or a Consultant from Columbus Ohio, Ohio State University Grad, Who has to reschedule a meeting because of a sudden business trip to England. Forgets to set up a letter of credit bank account ... and needs me to do it for Her in my name ... so the client can send Her money. (How do You spell money laundering?)

Oh, and the best part was ... She thought football was soccer ... and SHE DID NOT KNOW WHAT IS IN ANN ARBOR MICHIGAN! An Ohio State Buckeye? ROFL

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 10:48:50 PM

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quote:

Or a Consultant from Columbus Ohio, Ohio State University Grad, Who has to reschedule a meeting because of a sudden business trip to England. Forgets to set up a letter of credit bank account ... and needs me to do it for Her in my name ... so the client can send Her money. (How do You spell money laundering?)

Quite right. Oh, and 'she' is absolutely a he. Phone calls come from the gf, wife, sister, or even mother, but the guys write the emails.
This type of scam comes out of West Africa, even though some of the perpetrators have emigrated to Europe, the US, or Canada. It is important to note that Western Union transfers can be picked up anywhere in the world, no matter what the paperwork you fill out says. An ID is not required in most places to collect a Western Union transfer (as part of the original purpose of WU is for those traveling to get money if they are robbed whilst abroad). Moneygram is quite nearly as bad on this.

Oh, and on getting them arrested. Don't hold your breath. The authorities in Nigeria and Ghana are hopelessly corrupt, and the cops in Europe, the US, and Canada usually don't give a shit unless you can uncover the whole ring all on your own. Just sayin'

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 11:00:16 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Or a Consultant from Columbus Ohio, Ohio State University Grad, Who has to reschedule a meeting because of a sudden business trip to England. Forgets to set up a letter of credit bank account ... and needs me to do it for Her in my name ... so the client can send Her money. (How do You spell money laundering?)

Quite right. Oh, and 'she' is absolutely a he. Phone calls come from the gf, wife, sister, or even mother, but the guys write the emails.
This type of scam comes out of West Africa, even though some of the perpetrators have emigrated to Europe, the US, or Canada. It is important to note that Western Union transfers can be picked up anywhere in the world, no matter what the paperwork you fill out says. An ID is not required in most places to collect a Western Union transfer (as part of the original purpose of WU is for those traveling to get money if they are robbed whilst abroad). Moneygram is quite nearly as bad on this.

Yes ...

... this is what i have been trying to say ...

... so thank you for the post.

quote:

Oh, and on getting them arrested. Don't hold your breath. The authorities in Nigeria and Ghana are hopelessly corrupt, and the cops in Europe, the US, and Canada usually don't give a shit unless you can uncover the whole ring all on your own. Just sayin'

Chuckles ... want to see the jail records of a couple from Genesse County, Michigan ... who foolishly tried a scam on me here two years ago ... when i was using a different screen name? i will have to tell this story sometime ... but not to night!

(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 11:15:52 PM

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quote:

Chuckles ... want to see the jail records of a couple from Genesse County, Michigan ... who foolishly tried a scam on me here two years ago ... when i was using a different screen name? i will have to tell this story sometime ... but not to night!

I was speaking of the West African 419 scammers. It's much easier if they running a con and are physically in the country. It's not so much that the cops don't care, but trying to go after a scammer out of country is a jurisdictional nightmare, so many don't bother.

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 6/8/2010 11:18:46 PM >

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
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Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 11:19:48 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Chuckles ... want to see the jail records of a couple from Genesse County, Michigan ... who foolishly tried a scam on me here two years ago ... when i was using a different screen name? i will have to tell this story sometime ... but not to night!

I was speaking of the West African 419 scammers. It's much easier if they running a con and are physically in the country. It's not so much that the cops don't care, but trying to go after a scammer out of country is a jurisdictional nightmare, so many don't bother.

Opps wrong button ...

You, WyldHrt, are really correct again ... i agreed with you .. from the standpoint that i had to track the entire thing down myself ... and even though it was in state ... the State Police refused to help ... only my local police department ... when i provided all the evidence.

But in another sense ... W/we really are answering a lot of questions the OP had here.

There are financial Dommes .. who do identify themselves on their profile ... there are con artists ... and there are ethical Pro Dommes, too.

But actually, as Dark Steven and i have said earlier ... we have given advice to the OP on other threads. And that advice included seeing ethical Pro Domme(s) ...

So .. he is getting the full bore here ... if he takes his last thread .. puts the good stuff from this thread in ... he really has all his answers. It is just up to him ... TO DO IT!

LNT gave him good advice about Pro Dommes ... and i know from Her writing She is ethical ... so tom .. do pay attention ...

Also .. if tom is asking about Ladies putting financial Domme words on their profile ... he has some of that info, too ...

Scams ... LOL ... you and i scrathed the surface of .. there are many more ... you have to use your head ...

and i think Lockit ... let him know what a real lifestyle Domme thinks ...

... and i know She has a wonderful sense of humor.

i guess .. since i feel that you, WyldHrt, aided me tonight ... i am explaining this so you know. Do have a great evening. .... and laughs .. watch out Ladies carrying for canes!

(clue .. another thread)

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 6/8/2010 11:49:05 PM >

(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 1:20:11 AM

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My apologies, I misunderstood. Yes, even within the state, it is hard to get scammers arrested without doing most of the leg work yourself. They are considered minor crimes compared to murder, assault, armed robbery, etc., so the priority is lower. When the criminal is out of the country.... well, you know.
Between the 2 threads, the OP has received a lot of good advice. Hopefully, he will ruminate on everything that has been said, and move on with a clearer understanding.

PS. Ladies carrying canes are an 'occupational hazard'. Good thing I run fast!

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 6:33:13 AM

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So what's making you intereact with them? Frustrating as it may be the reality of the situation is that you are a grown man and you should be able to figure out It does not matter if you are on CM or out in the real world there are shady dishonest people. Get out there and meet people and use the muscle between your ears.

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

quote:

But the thing is most of them are not masquerading or trying to run a scam

Actually Ladies ... there ARE profiles here ... that do not say these things ... and they work a story ... after one interacts with them for a while.

They are quite dangerous ... and very accomplished Cons ...

All is not as cut and dried ... as You make it.

Yes, there is financial Domination ... but ... there are criminals operating here, too ... don't overlook it.

_____________________________

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(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 8:34:21 AM

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seekingOwnertoo and Celticsub, you need to be more discerning in the connections you make with potential Dommes. Yes, there are some scanners, but I would be extremely offended if someone attempted to offer me money or "tribute." There are quite a few other lifestyle Dommes and switches here as well. If you focus on people who offer what you need, rather than on the ones who aren't compatible, you will be much less frustrated.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 9:05:57 AM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

So what's making you intereact with them?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

seekingOwnertoo and Celticsub, you need to be more discerning in the connections you make with potential Dommes. Yes, there are some scanners, but I would be extremely offended if someone attempted to offer me money or "tribute." There are quite a few other lifestyle Dommes and switches here as well. If you focus on people who offer what you need, rather than on the ones who aren't compatible, you will be much less frustrated.

Okay ... one is tolerable ... but two .. is getting a little crowded ...

You both really misunderstood.

1. i avoid tribute ... like the plague ... i skip by financial Dommes ... and i do not offer tribute ... so i would hardly offend You!

2. i search specifically for lifestyle Dommes ... or occasionally the combo of both lifestyle and Pro (there are a few of them, You know).

3. i am usually a gentleman ... i do get out and about, too!

The point i have been trying to make here is in response to the OP ... there are scammers here masquarading as lifestyle Dommes ....

And yes, there are scammers in real life too.

But i most frequently encounter them here ... rather then in other areas of life.

If you take a close look at the exchange WyldHrt and i had several posts ago ... it should be clear there is information being shared ... that SOMEONE might benefit from.

To put this kindly ... i frequently read Ladies ... complaining about men here ... in one way or another ... well Ladies ... it IS a two way street! We legitimate guys ... get some real duds ... too!

So if You need to ask ... why am i here .. well i do have some GOOD friends here, also!

(in reply to MsAlisedeSade)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:02:03 PM

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If someone is asking you for a tribute then you have the right to walk away and you should if that's not what you are looking for. I'm sure you have run across this enough times for the red flags to go up. So I did not misunderstand. I am asking you:

What is the common thread that attracts you to these particular types of people and why don't you recognize this before you become so involved?

It is unfortunate that there are so many scammers here but the real question is:

What can you do to protect yourself and not waste time?

And:

Is my desire for living this type of lifestyle clouding my judgement and causing me to involve myself with people or situations I otherwise wouldn't in order to satiate my desires?

It's a given here and anywhere that you deal with people that you have to shift through alot of dirt before you find a diamond.

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

So what's making you intereact with them?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

seekingOwnertoo and Celticsub, you need to be more discerning in the connections you make with potential Dommes. Yes, there are some scanners, but I would be extremely offended if someone attempted to offer me money or "tribute." There are quite a few other lifestyle Dommes and switches here as well. If you focus on people who offer what you need, rather than on the ones who aren't compatible, you will be much less frustrated.

Okay ... one is tolerable ... but two .. is getting a little crowded ...

You both really misunderstood.

1. i avoid tribute ... like the plague ... i skip by financial Dommes ... and i do not offer tribute ... so i would hardly offend You!

2. i search specifically for lifestyle Dommes ... or occasionally the combo of both lifestyle and Pro (there are a few of them, You know).

3. i am usually a gentleman ... i do get out and about, too!

The point i have been trying to make here is in response to the OP ... there are scammers here masquarading as lifestyle Dommes ....

And yes, there are scammers in real life too.

But i most frequently encounter them here ... rather then in other areas of life.

If you take a close look at the exchange WyldHrt and i had several posts ago ... it should be clear there is information being shared ... that SOMEONE might benefit from.

To put this kindly ... i frequently read Ladies ... complaining about men here ... in one way or another ... well Ladies ... it IS a two way street! We legitimate guys ... get some real duds ... too!

So if You need to ask ... why am i here .. well i do have some GOOD friends here, also!

< Message edited by MsAlisedeSade -- 6/9/2010 12:31:45 PM >

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:12:08 PM

DommeKeliDallas

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domtaur

Imho: If they want money first> theyre Pro dommes= prostitutes

No. Sex for money is prostitution. Play for money is not if no sex is involved. Thinking that D/s is only kinky sex is an unfortunate mindset which Internet porn has fostered.

GOD! A MAN WITH A BRAIN!
Marry me!
I am soooooo tired of hearing this all the time from men who think the world OWES then a FREE session!
THANK YOU!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:19:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

If someone is asking you for a tribute then you have the right to walk away and you should if that's not what you are looking for. I'm sure you have run across this enough times for the red flags to go up. So I did not misunderstand. I am asking you what is the common thread that attracts you to these particular types of people and why don't you recognize this before you become so involved? It is unfortunate that there are so many scammers here but the real question is what can you do to protect yourself and not waste time. It's a given here and anywhere that you deal with people that you have to shift through alot of dirt before you find a diamond.

I think SO2 might be grinding his teeth into powder right now, Ms Alise. *Chuckle* He's said he knows what you're saying because he learned such lessons long ago.

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:21:36 PM

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domtaur

Imho: If they want money first> theyre Pro dommes= prostitutes

No. Sex for money is prostitution. Play for money is not if no sex is involved. Thinking that D/s is only kinky sex is an unfortunate mindset which Internet porn has fostered.

GOD! A MAN WITH A BRAIN!
Marry me!
I am soooooo tired of hearing this all the time from men who think the world OWES then a FREE session!
THANK YOU!

Gawd, tell me about it. Every woman I've been with assumes she can have it for free. It's always left to me to bring up the subject of my fees.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to DommeKeliDallas)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:27:45 PM

DommeKeliDallas

Posts: 311
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbietom2

i apologize for being so naive, but it seems that every time i FINALLY have the opportunity to start a relationship with a Mistress, Her first request is that i give Her money (i.e., an allowance, tuition, spending money, gifts, etc). While i am certainly more than willing to, and even very excited about the opportunity to shower a potential Mistress with gifts, money, my labor, etc., i am very suspicious about the sincerity of the Mistress when monetary contributions are Her first requirement. As a result, i have ended several very promising relationships before they even started, and i keep questioning myself whether i did the right thing.

Am i out of line in thinking that a D/s relationship should evolve somewhat prior to significant financial demands by the Mistress? i am very sincere in seeking a long term D/s relationship, but it seems to be very difficult.

You and the Domme are on an even playing field...initially.
Two strangers...right?
Right.
Why do you think that she should invite you to come to her home, or dungeon...that SHE has to PAY FOR...utilities, mortgage, phone, and furnish the toys and outfits to amuse you or act out YOUR sexual-psychodrama...FOR FREE?

Does your dentist work for free?
Does your therapist work for free?

Most men are not tight-asses when they want someone to do something that most of the (vanilla) world will not do for them.

If a man is not respectful of me or my time, why would I even consider a relationship with him?

If you VALUE someone, show it.
You usually get ONE SHOT to impress someone...
Go BIG or go HOME...
Someone will see to it that she is taken care of and if you don't, you don't deserve her.

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:42:34 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

If someone is asking you for a tribute then you have the right to walk away and you should if that's not what you are looking for. I'm sure you have run across this enough times for the red flags to go up. So I did not misunderstand. I am asking you what is the common thread that attracts you to these particular types of people and why don't you recognize this before you become so involved? It is unfortunate that there are so many scammers here but the real question is what can you do to protect yourself and not waste time. It's a given here and anywhere that you deal with people that you have to shift through alot of dirt before you find a diamond.

I think SO2 might be grinding his teeth into powder right now, Ms Alise. *Chuckle* He's said he knows what you're saying because he learned such lessons long ago.

Thanks Peon ... LOL ... the teeth are in fine shape ... but i just did start smoking cigarettes again!

Ms. Alise ... they don't come right out and ask for tribute ... sometimes they "do all the looking for a relationship" type activites ... that i typically expect from lifestyle Dommes.

The last one i encountered ... did three weeks of chat and off collar me emails ... and made a date the first real life meeting ...

before the "Major Catastrophe" story came out ... and of course ... i was the only solution she had left in life ...

It's a classic confidence game ... but they are looking for the big kill ... not a little tribute.

And why do i pursue them so far ... before realizing it? (And Peon is right ... i learned these lessons long ago .. so it is kind of like preaching to the choir)

Because they adopt an MO that i am vunerable too.

And since i know the MO ... is quite easily picked up on ... i will not explain that further. LOL

i hope this gives You a bit better understanding ... from Your number of posts ... You might not have been around the boards much ... so i am trying to be helpful in explaining

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 6/9/2010 12:48:26 PM >

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:52:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

And since i know the MO ... is quite easily picked up on ... i will not explain that further. LOL

I had another one of those, today: a cmail out of the blue from 'a domme looking for a partnership'. Not one of the really cretinous ones - of an extremely young-looking woman living in London, Canada (they're two-a-penny) but the somewhat rarer kind that looks like a real woman looking for the real thing, and living here in the UK. Except that she didn't look at my profile before writing to me and wanted me to go straight to email. Classic signs of bait-and-switch. I've no idea if that trick works - I'd be fascinated to know.

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:53:36 PM

Posts: 92
Joined: 4/21/2010
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The questions were not to rude or snarky but questions that some people at one time or another ends up asking themselves for insight.

I have been in this lifestyle since my teens and am 34 now. My number of Posts have nothing to do with the amount of common sense I possess or the amount of time I have lived this lifestyle so I do not need you to explain anything to me as I was not the one who started this thread. I know my place and will kindly ask you to get back into yours.

I find the way you so graciously offerred to break things down for me condescending and unbecoming of those who refer to themselves as a gentleman.

< Message edited by MsAlisedeSade -- 6/9/2010 1:15:28 PM >

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