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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 12:59:44 PM

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade
If someone is asking you for a tribute then you have the right to walk away and you should if that's not what you are looking for.

This, in all its simplicity, is really the crux of it all. One's inability to see his own fault of judgment doesn't mean there's a grand conspiracy of deception worthy of Ron Howard's pen. There are con artists and hustlers in every walk of life, but that doesn't mean all who disappoint you should be lumped together as fakes and frauds; the brick wall you keep hitting just might not be your bag. Change your game and move on. Finis.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to MsAlisedeSade)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 1:11:23 PM

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

... an extremely young-looking woman living in London, Canada...

As a young woman whose profile *did* say London, Canada until someone pointed out the error, and who you know full well is real, I feel I must object.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 1:15:18 PM

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas
Why do you think that she should invite you to come to her home, or dungeon...that SHE has to PAY FOR...utilities, mortgage, phone, and furnish the toys and outfits to amuse you or act out YOUR sexual-psychodrama...FOR FREE?

Oh, there's stuff a man can do for me other than give money. He can spend 8 to 10 hours in the gym every week to make sure he looks hot and fit and toned, and another half hour to an hour every day manscaping and grooming and otherwise maintaining his good looks, good hygiene and attractive wardrobe. He must also be seriously intelligent, witty and charming, able to entertain me and be cool enough to fit in socially and professionally with my poly family. He has to be educated enough and geeky enough to stay up to speed in a conversation that may bounce from particle physics to zoonotic vector epidemiology to the respective merits of D&D 3.5 and 4.0. He has to be totally comfortable meeting and hanging out with my poly family, because I'm not willing to pretend that they don't exist or hide my other personal partners from them.

Guys who don't meet my personal preferences, won't be social with my family, or aren't willing to spend the time and energy being pleasing to my eye and mind do need to contribute something else if they want any of my time and energy directed their way. Which pretty much means they pay for a pro session. Big surprise, yo.

We're not all gold diggers. I'd really rather meet a cool bisexual poly submissive gamer geek and spend time sharing his energy. But if the single thing we have in common is that you're submissive and I'm dominant, or worse, that you're horny and I have tits, the plain truth is that you aren't all that much fun for me to hang out with, and you're not going to fit into my personal life at all. So if we have an interaction at all, it's going to be either social and distant, or professional and limited.

You get what you earn in life. You can pay in money or you can pay in time and energy spent on making yourself a hot, desirable personal partner. Scamming to see what you can get for nothing, whining, begging, feeling entitled and demanding that total strangers cater to your whims because you waaaaaant them to doesn't really work so well. Actually it pretty much guarantees your failure if you do it in public.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to DommeKeliDallas)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 2:34:34 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

The questions were not to rude or snarky but questions that some people at one time or another ends up asking themselves for insight.

I have been in this lifestyle since my teens and am 34 now. My number of Posts have nothing to do with the amount of common sense I possess or the amount of time I have lived this lifestyle so I do not need you to explain anything to me as I was not the one who started this thread. I know my place and will kindly ask you to get back into yours.

I find the way you so graciously offerred to break things down for me condescending and unbecoming of those who refer to themselves as a gentleman.

Ms. Alise ...

Please forgive me. i did not mean to be condescending or insulting to You.

i simply misinterpreted Your remarks ... it was quite rash of me. And i am sorry.

Please accept my apology.

(in reply to MsAlisedeSade)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 2:53:43 PM

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Joined: 4/21/2010
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Duly noted and accepted

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My Clips

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/9/2010 3:08:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

... an extremely young-looking woman living in London, Canada...

As a young woman whose profile *did* say London, Canada until someone pointed out the error, and who you know full well is real, I feel I must object.

VC, it gives me great pleasure, as always, to say to you: "I stand corrected" :-)

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/10/2010 10:21:36 AM

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Joined: 5/21/2010
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If it's stated up front in the profile, or in the rare case when a Domme makes the first message, that She is expecting tribute then that is alright, imho, but i do dislike when i have sent a respectful message to Someone who seems to be a wonderful potential Domme, to get back a message immediately asking for cash.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/10/2010 10:25:04 AM

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Joined: 3/24/2008
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I've had guys ask me if I do online domination, and this is what I tell them. Online domination means he's not here scrubbing my baseboards or cleaning my gutters. It means he's not here sucking my toes. It means he's not here under my paddle. Those are the things I want from a sub. Otherwise, it's me telling a "choose your own adventure" and taking time I could be using to make money doing something else. Under those conditions, I think it's only fair that he pay me for my time.

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to eager2serveNC)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/10/2010 11:54:50 AM

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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eager2serveNC

If it's stated up front in the profile, or in the rare case when a Domme makes the first message, that She is expecting tribute then that is alright, imho, but i do dislike when i have sent a respectful message to Someone who seems to be a wonderful potential Domme, to get back a message immediately asking for cash.

Would you prefer they led you on and did not make it clear that they were professionals in that first email?

Professionals who send unsolicited email advertising their services are spammers. Doesn't matter what profession they're in, it's still spam, and poor business ethics. If I send out an email to someone who hasn't contacted me first, it's not because I'm shilling for my services as a kinky personal trainer, it's because I want to talk to them like a normal person.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 6/10/2010 11:56:46 AM >

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to eager2serveNC)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/10/2010 2:49:01 PM

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Joined: 5/23/2010
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No one is forcing you to give these women a cent. But Let me shoot it to you straight. We need them a lot more than they need us. If a guy with $$$ is what they want, then a guy with $$$ is what they are going to get if they stick around. And being that women get dozens of offers from all sorts of guys on here, it gives them latitude to be picky. I also think some women join these sites with misconceptions. Not all, but some.
I also don't see what the issue is with Pros being here. If you save up, it really isn't that much of an outrageous cost, imo. Most of them are up front and honest about what they offer and they WILL fulfill your fantasies. Without them most guys would have no outlet at all

< Message edited by youngandjaded1 -- 6/10/2010 2:52:53 PM >

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/10/2010 6:58:55 PM

DommeKeliDallas

Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngandjaded1

No one is forcing you to give these women a cent. But Let me shoot it to you straight. We need them a lot more than they need us. If a guy with $$$ is what they want, then a guy with $$$ is what they are going to get if they stick around. And being that women get dozens of offers from all sorts of guys on here, it gives them latitude to be picky. I also think some women join these sites with misconceptions. Not all, but some.
I also don't see what the issue is with Pros being here. If you save up, it really isn't that much of an outrageous cost, imo. Most of them are up front and honest about what they offer and they WILL fulfill your fantasies. Without them most guys would have no outlet at all

I APPRECIATE YOU FOR HAVING A REALISTIC VIEW OF HOW THE REAL WORLD WORKS.
I AM THRILLED TO KNOW THERE IS STILL HOPE IN THE WORLD.
YUM!

(in reply to youngandjaded1)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/12/2010 6:56:24 AM

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/26/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Oh, there's stuff a man can do for me other than give money. He can spend 8 to 10 hours in the gym every week to make sure he looks hot and fit and toned, and another half hour to an hour every day manscaping and grooming and otherwise maintaining his good looks, good hygiene and attractive wardrobe

I find this quite presumptuous, a man spends endless hours working on both his mind and body, refused to buy clothes off the rack and in most cases has a say-so in the design of those things made for him. He takes the time, expends the energy and dollars for haircuts manicures and pedicures every couple of weeks even though his schedule rarely allows it. He does it because it pleases him…not someone.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/12/2010 7:46:18 AM

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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JhonDean
I find this quite presumptuous, a man spends endless hours working on both his mind and body, refused to buy clothes off the rack and in most cases has a say-so in the design of those things made for him. He takes the time, expends the energy and dollars for haircuts manicures and pedicures every couple of weeks even though his schedule rarely allows it. He does it because it pleases him…not someone.

Are you saying that you have no preferences, criteria or requirements for partners in your personal relationships? Romances should be equal opportunity, no discrimination allowed.....on any subject?

Dude. My personal relationship criteria are my own. If you don't like them, and it's perfectly fine if you don't, then bugger off and decide for your own self what you want in a relationship. You're a big boy, you can do that now. But don't waste your time telling me that I'm wrong about who I want to date, or that I don't get to set the bar for my own personal standards. That's just rude, not to mention useless.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to JhonDean)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/13/2010 8:35:57 AM

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Joined: 3/26/2010
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quote:

Are you saying that you have no preferences, criteria or requirements for partners in your personal relationships? Romances should be equal opportunity, no discrimination allowed.....on any subject?

I made no comment in reference to my standards; my comment referenced your arrogance. Men sculpt their bodies and groom themselves based on their own preferences and that has nothing to do with you.

< Message edited by JhonDean -- 6/13/2010 8:36:24 AM >

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/13/2010 10:06:15 AM

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
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how is LT being arrogant? its not as if she said- " i'm hot, so therfore, i only deserve somebody who also is hot." i too take appreciation for a man who takes care of his physical condition as well as his wardrobe. i hardly think that would make me arrogant as well.

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I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to JhonDean)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/13/2010 10:07:33 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JhonDean

quote:

Are you saying that you have no preferences, criteria or requirements for partners in your personal relationships? Romances should be equal opportunity, no discrimination allowed.....on any subject?

I made no comment in reference to my standards; my comment referenced your arrogance. Men sculpt their bodies and groom themselves based on their own preferences and that has nothing to do with you.

So no man does ANYTHING to his appearance for the sake of attracting a woman, or pleasing the one he already has? Interesting.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to JhonDean)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/13/2010 10:22:22 AM

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/26/2010
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quote:

So no man does ANYTHING to his appearance for the sake of attracting a woman, or pleasing the one he already has? Interesting.

An interesting attempt to keep the thread alive but in answer to your question, the amount of work it takes to sculpt the body and years of disciplined commitment required are not the product of an attempting to attracting a woman. Neither is the countless dollars spent in apparel and grooming. Nor does deeply held convictions and self-respect find their root in someone else.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/13/2010 10:24:00 AM

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Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I didn't realize that the thread was dead.

Self confidence and narcissism are not the same thing.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to JhonDean)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/13/2010 10:25:58 AM

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Joined: 3/26/2010
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Thank you fopr your final comment.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/13/2010 10:29:45 AM

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Joined: 9/1/2008
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The very day I decided to go after a Dominant Female, I went for a run...

A 44 year old, pudgy, unhappy married, girlie-boy...what a catch...

Get real JD, if you want something you have to be willing to put forth the effort to attract it. Society has put that expectation on women for centuries...why not the same for guys...and submissive guys especially.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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