quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

VC, Catholics can get divorced, but only civilly. If they want a church wedding to a new spouse, they have to meet the criteria and wait for an annulment (I'm not Catholic, so I'm not sure what the exact requirements are).

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

oh, they suck. I did it once, but didn't marry. fundamentally, there has to be a deception of some sort proved, as in the jesus thing-----the only reason to grant a bill of divorce is infidelity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I am right with you, Lady Hibiscus.  MAYBE one guy in a zillion discovers what turns him on late in life.  But honestly, pretty much every guy knows how his sexuality is bent way early on.  He might try to deny it or run from it, but he knows.  And in this internet age, there is no way a guy can claim that he did not know kinky stuff even existed.  I was only two or three years old when I first saw Catwoman on TV.  I knew then, and I know now.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

The piece that genuinely baffles me, Kal, is that so many men CLAIM they "did not know" those desires when they married.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think what Kal and I are getting at is that a good many of us were pervs from childhood. Now, I do know folks who discovered kink later in life---and those same folks are not NEARLY as kink oriented as Kal or I. I think it's possible to not realize that it's a world of deviants (and deviance!) and that pervs might be living right next door to you, but I really do wonder if someone doesn't have a handle on what excites them by adulthood.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I have to admit, I'm starting to get a kick out of the usage of the term 'later in life' to describe anybody who comes into kink after the ripe old age of eighteen.  I realize it's hard to find a descriptor for those who didn't identify and/or accept their kinky selves immediately, but later in life makes it sound as though we're talking about senior citizens here.  LOL.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Everybody knows that dominant women actually exist. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
Have you picked up the AARP flier on it?  They have a whole series:

"So you've discovered kink..."

"Will being kinky affect my benefits?"

"RV dungeon spaces"

and

"Kink and the lower back"

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


Likewise, a major part of me thought that I'd one day 'lose' the submissive feelings.  I'd 'put away childish toys', as they say.  I could have got married, lived the vanilla life and learned to enjoy some of it, while putting up with the rest of it -  with the D/s desire firmly locked in a cupboard, gathering dust.  Then, I could have come here, had that desire suddenly woken up and right out of the cupboard, jumping around in my head and scrambling up what I'd once hoped and believed would turn into a normal, moderately happy vanilla marriage.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


Likewise, a major part of me thought that I'd one day 'lose' the submissive feelings.  I'd 'put away childish toys', as they say.  I could have got married, lived the vanilla life and learned to enjoy some of it, while putting up with the rest of it -  with the D/s desire firmly locked in a cupboard, gathering dust.  Then, I could have come here, had that desire suddenly woken up and right out of the cupboard, jumping around in my head and scrambling up what I'd once hoped and believed would turn into a normal, moderately happy vanilla marriage.

{bolding mine}

THIS is the part that I am talking about. I think it's within reason that a person doesn't know that the universe of perversity doesn't exist, if you don't go looking for it. What I have a lot of trouble with is the "sudden" discovery of submissive feeling at age 50, or whatever. To not know deep down what your personality is, what your desires are---and I am not referring to kink here, but to orientation---shows a total lack of introspection.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I don't know, Lady Hib.  It's hard to imagine, I suppose.   But, on the other hand, people can be astonishingly lacking in introspection.  They can also be fully-paid-up members of that nutcase mentality that has it that you can always 'act your way into a new way of thinking'. 

So they can also believe, to an extent that's sometimes astonished me, that they can 'mould' their desires.  There have been enough homosexuals who've believed that they can 'mould' themselves into being heterosexual, for instance.  In fact, I read that there's yet another new and thriving, church-based school of thought in the USA founded on that belief.   A D/s kink is going to look like less of a challenge than that, too, I'd bet.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal
And really....in this day and age, is it possible for a person to be that oblivious to all the BDSM websites and parties and books and videos out there?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
What I have a lot of trouble with is the "sudden" discovery of submissive feeling at age 50, or whatever. To not know deep down what your personality is, what your desires are---and I am not referring to kink here, but to orientation---shows a total lack of introspection.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Have you picked up the AARP flier on it?  They have a whole series:

"So you've discovered kink..."

"Will being kinky affect my benefits?"

"RV dungeon spaces"

and

"Kink and the lower back"