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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/4/2006 3:04:19 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Well, sheesh. Now, I'm totally confused. I can't seem to find Sinergy's question, so I went back to mnottertail's still-unanswered query. However, I don't know why one would use cumin oil instead of cumin and am now letting my paranoid imagination run amok with the idea that maybe cumin oil has some kinky connotations that have flown over my head. Scholar that I am, I did a search on the Internet, that bastion of reliable and accurate information; all I could discover is that cumin oil aids digestion. Forgive me if it is used for other more, uh, creative purposes; if so, that might've led to a wittier answer. As it stands, however, this will have to do:

Crumble up some Tums and use as a seasoning; it will add digestion and add a secret surprise to your recipe.

My washing machine is nonexistant, the laundry mat is closed, and my sheets are filthy. What should I do?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 2741
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/4/2006 7:04:58 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack

Well, sheesh. Now, I'm totally confused. I can't seem to find Sinergy's question, so I went back to mnottertail's still-unanswered query. However, I don't know why one would use cumin oil instead of cumin and am now letting my paranoid imagination run amok with the idea that maybe cumin oil has some kinky connotations that have flown over my head. Scholar that I am, I did a search on the Internet, that bastion of reliable and accurate information; all I could discover is that cumin oil aids digestion. Forgive me if it is used for other more, uh, creative purposes; if so, that might've led to a wittier answer. As it stands, however, this will have to do:

Crumble up some Tums and use as a seasoning; it will add digestion and add a secret surprise to your recipe.

My washing machine is nonexistant, the laundry mat is closed, and my sheets are filthy. What should I do?


Seduce your neighbor and sleep at his/her place.

I smell smoke coming from the kitchen where I am baking a cheesecake, but Graham Norton is doing something insanely ridiculous on TV like playing "Guess who the person's sex partner is that says "blah" during sex."

And I dont own a TIVO.

What do I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2742
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/4/2006 6:09:08 PM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		I'll turn that advice back to ya: seduce your neighbor and borrow his/her Tivo.


I've got new furniture from Ikea that I can't put together myself, and my lover(s) are unavailable to help. What should I do?


(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 2743
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/4/2006 8:56:47 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		Become a Domme for a day, collar 2 or 3 slave to put your furniture from Ikea toegther. When it is finished take off the velcro collar and set them free.

I am sleepy and need to be in bed, but i cant sleep. Have any idea of how i can fall alseep fast?

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2744
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/4/2006 9:03:53 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Get LaM to put you into tight bondage and stick a pillowcase over your head, then dump you in bed. You will either lie there until you fall asleep or struggle until you pass out of exhaustion.

I can seem to prioritize what toys to buy next, what should I do?

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to LaMspeach)
Profile   Post #: 2745
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/5/2006 1:08:49 AM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Since you can prioritize which toys to buy next, buy them in the prioritized order. STOP BEING A LIBRA!!! *in reference to bdsm & your sign post*
 
It's 4 am, I'm wide awake, and have no one to play with. I don't cyber. What do I do to relieve myself of boredom?

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)
Profile   Post #: 2746
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/5/2006 2:41:43 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

It's 4 am, I'm wide awake, and have no one to play with. I don't cyber. What do I do to relieve myself of boredom?


Get yourself an imaginary friend. I have one - he dangles appreciatively from the curtains whilst I whip the skin off his butt with various implements. He takes it well too - not a sound.

My imaginary friend thinks it all about him, and I find his topping from the bottom more and more annoying. How can I overcome this problem?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 2747
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/5/2006 12:45:04 PM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Tell your imaginary friend that he better buck up or you'll release him. That really scares the imaginary; after all, they would cease to exist altogether if it weren't for you.

My imaginary friend has threatened to release me. What should I do?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2748
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/5/2006 2:03:41 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Tell him that if he releases you he'll cease to exist. That'll fix his wagon.

My brand-new wartenberg wheel has gone missing. I've checked all over my playroom, and it's just not there. Where do I look next?

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2749
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/5/2006 10:54:40 PM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Check your sub's shoes. Perhaps he was hoping to ferret it away unnoticed. If it's not there, make a new one using a pizza cutter and barbed wire; I'm sure no one will feel the difference.

How should I treat the rug burns on my knees?

(in reply to LadySeraphina)
Profile   Post #: 2750
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/5/2006 11:58:33 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		The same as any other type of rug burn. No one likes to be descriminated against, regardless of location.
 
I'm going to Egypt in August. Should I tell the Egyptian fellow who messages all the Ladies on this site?

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2751
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 10:44:57 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		The quickest way to dry yourself off when you just get out of the tub is to hop in the clothes dryer. Not only do you get dryer faster, but you also get to have a lot of fun spinning around. This trick works best for men who are really hairy, or for that matter, women who are hairy too.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 2752
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 11:51:13 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm going to Egypt in August. Should I tell the Egyptian fellow who messages all the Ladies on this site?


Since pinkeith hasn't read the rules but did have an entertaining reply, we should have him/her personally tell the Egyptian.

My birthday is today. What kind of spanking should I give my slave/date tonight? (I already have a leash for her.)

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 2753
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 11:53:34 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal
I'm going to Egypt in August. Should I tell the Egyptian fellow who messages all the Ladies on this site?


No.  But you should smuggle some of those cute Egyptian horned sand vipers back for me.  They're small, so they will fit in your underwear. 

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 2754
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 11:56:03 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio
My birthday is today. What kind of spanking should I give my slave/date tonight? (I already have a leash for her.)


A really good one.  Rent an industrial strength concrete mixer and make her stand in the middle of it touching her toes.

I would like to brew a big batch of hot chai tea today so that I can sip it slowly while I work.  How should I do this?

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2755
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 11:56:33 AM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		It's YOUR birthday, so YOU get spanked... give your slave her leash to spank you with. It'll be fun. Or not.
 
How do we force pinkeith to tell the Egyptian that Mikal is going to be visiting his country?

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2756
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 12:03:49 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

I'm going to Egypt in August. Should I tell the Egyptian fellow who messages all the Ladies on this site?


Since pinkeith hasn't read the rules but did have an entertaining reply, we should have him/her personally tell the Egyptian.

My birthday is today. What kind of spanking should I give my slave/date tonight? (I already have a leash for her.)



Oppsie! So sorry, I should have read the first post first.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2757
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 12:05:18 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid

It's YOUR birthday, so YOU get spanked... give your slave her leash to spank you with. It'll be fun. Or not.
 
How do we force pinkeith to tell the Egyptian that Mikal is going to be visiting his country?


We don't tell him, we forgive him and move on. (Remember, this is bad advice )

How can I approve myself to follow instructions better?

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2758
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 12:25:11 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
I would like to brew a big batch of hot chai tea today so that I can sip it slowly while I work.  How should I do this?

Go to India and get a Tea Master. Buy all the ingredients he tells you. Then bring him home with the ingredients and threaten to lock him in the basement with your horned sand vipers (he doesn't need to know they aren't in the basement) if he doesn't make you tea whenever you want it. But only do this if he is not a sub/slave. Then, sit back and enjoy!

quote:

  How can I approve myself to follow instructions better?  

Learn english... "approve myself" doesn't make sense when put together like this. Then, go beg your Mistress for a beating.
 
How do I decide on what size of dildo to buy for my future sub, since I don't know their limits/capabilities yet?

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 2759
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/6/2006 12:30:54 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid
How do I decide on what size of dildo to buy for my future sub, since I don't know their limits/capabilities yet?


This doesn't make too much senese, we all have the same limits and capabilities, so something that works for you will also work for your sub.

What color Christmas lights should I put up this year?

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2760
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