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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2006 2:04:37 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith
How can I keep track of the birthdays of my family and friends? I keep forgetting when they are.

Just kill em all.  Then you won't have to remember all of those pesky dates.

Does it make me a sadist if I laughed at this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
I'm starting to not feel well.  What should I do?


Since feeling well is all in your head just chant over and over again "I am healthy". Your body will soon improve and you won't feel sick. This also works for weight loss. Every morning when you wake up just say "I'm going to loss weight today" and you will. Its the power of the mind!

I would love to learn Japanese. What is the quickest way to learn the language?

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 2781
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2006 4:04:44 PM   
Dragonskiss72


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith
How can I keep track of the birthdays of my family and friends? I keep forgetting when they are.

Just kill em all.  Then you won't have to remember all of those pesky dates.

Does it make me a sadist if I laughed at this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
I'm starting to not feel well.  What should I do?


Since feeling well is all in your head just chant over and over again "I am healthy". Your body will soon improve and you won't feel sick. This also works for weight loss. Every morning when you wake up just say "I'm going to loss weight today" and you will. Its the power of the mind!

I would love to learn Japanese. What is the quickest way to learn the language?


Take up French - it's easier

where do I hide the bodies of the people I've killed to avoid remembering pesky dates?

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 2782
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2006 4:17:51 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Buy a really really big dog (ie Mastiff, Irish Wolfhound) that eats a lot. Your 'hiding place' will be solved, and you won't go bankrupt feeding the pooch!
 
Where would I find someone who can make a decent pot of chicken noodle soup? My Mom's not available.

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to Dragonskiss72)
Profile   Post #: 2783
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2006 6:56:15 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Ask your friends' moms. One of them is sure to know how to make a good pot of it.

I love caffeine, but it makes my stomach very upset. How should I deal?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 2784
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2006 7:14:15 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

I would love to learn Japanese. What is the quickest way to learn the language?



Fly to Japan one way.  Go into a brothel / geisha house.  Apply for a job.

People call me on the phone and ask questions.  They want answers.  What do I do?


_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 2785
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/8/2006 8:37:34 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Pretend you know the answers, even when you don't.

I live in Seattle, but Starbuck's is overpriced. What should I do for my mocha fix?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 2786
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 12:15:03 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Hey, I live in Seattle, too. Round up all the other Seattlites and stage a protest of Starbucks; we'll demand free coffee since, after all, we put Starbucks on the map! If it weren't for us, they wouldn't be perfectly poised to take over the world. Heck, they OWE us coffee! After shouting "free coffee" for a few hours, they're bound to give in and hand you a mocha.

I'm dealing with a Dom who is obsessed with scanning pictures so he can email them to me. How do I let him know that it would be better if I didn't have so much visual information?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2787
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 12:18:23 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Oh, how embarassing. One of my prepositional phrases is dangling. I know that very few people care, but I feel compelled to apologize for the sake of grammer. Poor grammer. It's ever so abused.

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2788
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 12:20:42 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I can buy a twelve pack of beer cheaper than one cup of Starbucks Coffie. I see the half wits in he mall lined up at Starbucks they are just bandwagon jumpers trying to do the in thing and feel high and mighty with their Starbucks Coffie..

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2789
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 12:21:35 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Yikes! I mean, grammar. Poor, poor grammar.

I think I need to get some sleep. Actually, I think I need a lot of sleep.

My question about the photo-obsessed Dom remains for those of you who are still awake enough to offer some bad advice.

< Message edited by jblack -- 12/9/2006 12:23:35 AM >

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2790
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 12:28:27 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Why do you not want so much information about the photo obsessed dom.

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2791
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 1:28:52 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack

Oh, how embarassing. One of my prepositional phrases is dangling. I know that very few people care, but I feel compelled to apologize for the sake of grammer. Poor grammer. It's ever so abused.


:Problems with dangling participles?  Speak in binary.

My parents think the ex-wife I gave my house to, who continually tries to sue me, and egregiously violates the divorce orders, is a saint.  What should I do?

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2792
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 3:01:57 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy


My parents think the ex-wife I gave my house to, who continually tries to sue me, and egregiously violates the divorce orders, is a saint.  What should I do?


She could well be a saint - therefore it would be better if her beneficient influence could be extended far and wide by way of her relics. Beatify her to death, dismember the corpse and distribute via Greyhound bus all over the US.
If the cops catch up with you, you have a great insanity plea going too.

I simply cant be bothered. How do I reacquire my botherability?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 2793
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 10:49:12 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I simply cant be bothered. How do I reacquire my botherability?

E


Become a politician.

My feet are freezing even with socks on.  What should I do? 

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2794
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 10:56:34 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack

Oh, how embarassing. One of my prepositional phrases is dangling. I know that very few people care, but I feel compelled to apologize for the sake of grammer. Poor grammer. It's ever so abused.


Neuter your prepositional phrases so they no longer dangle.

I am working a job where I am crawling around on multi-ton 40 foot iron pipes and hook them up to the crane sling to be lifted out.  If the sling breaks and this falls into the hold, how do I avoid being a grease spot?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2795
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 11:00:53 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
I am working a job where I am crawling around on multi-ton 40 foot iron pipes and hook them up to the crane sling to be lifted out.  If the sling breaks and this falls into the hold, how do I avoid being a grease spot?

Sinergy

Scream like a little girl and wait for Superman to wisk you out of harms way.

And my feet are still friggin cold.  What do I do about that?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 2796
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 11:36:08 AM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Shove them up benji's butt. And get him to bring you some Starbucks while he's on his way over. Just sniff carefully before you drink....
 
I sliced my hand really bad, but the Prof still wants me to write my exam. What should I do?

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 2797
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 11:38:35 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

I sliced my hand really bad, but the Prof still wants me to write my exam. What should I do?

Drop something really heavy on your toe...you'll forget about the pain in your hand.

I have the need for some anal/foot lube, but alas, I am without some.
What shall I use?

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 2798
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 12:55:09 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I have the need for some anal/foot lube, but alas, I am without some.
What shall I use?


Someone want's to put their foot in your ass? Well, to each her own. However, I highly recommend John Deere crankcase lube. It's high quality and refined in this country, not the Middle East.

Help: My friend Aileen keeps leaving heavy black smears everywhere she sits. Any ideas how she can attend formal functions without the embarrassment of greasy black ass?

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 2799
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/9/2006 2:29:41 PM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

Help: My friend Aileen keeps leaving heavy black smears everywhere she sits. Any ideas how she can attend formal functions without the embarrassment of greasy black ass?



Buy a white dress, put it on the floor and play sit-and-spin. Soon the dress will match the colors that she leaves behind and no one will notice.

I finally found the key to the safe that contains all of my Dom's equipment. He told me never to touch them. How can I avoid the temptation?

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2800
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