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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 1:02:03 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

Become a romance scammer yourself. There are always enough idiots in the world to make a living from.

We now have surplus steam-powered computers. How can we get rid of them?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)

Post #: 2921

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 2:23:31 PM

jblack

Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Reuse the technology to create steam-powered vibrators. You'll never go hungry if you can build a good vibratror.

I was flamed and ripped to shreds on a message board at another BDSM site. What should I do?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Post #: 2922

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 5:02:09 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

Make a new profile and attempt to restore your credibility.

I've watched far too many episodes of the same anime over the past 24 hours and now I'm hearing Japanese whenever I don't have background music on. How can I remedy this?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to jblack)

Post #: 2923

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 5:13:41 PM

CH3CH2OH

Posts: 57
Joined: 12/17/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Listen to Kevin Federline's AWESOME music. It makes everything better, and you'll be too busy trying to figure out what the hell POPOZAO means to think about anything else.

My beer is empty and the fridge is really far away. OH GOD HELP ME WHAT SHOULD I DO?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Post #: 2924

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 5:21:57 PM

jblack

Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Develop a remote control and put your fridge on casters; that way, you can summon your fridge (thus beer) to you rather than having to actually move.

Calliope, I'd say that creating a new profile and restoring my credibility might be considered good advice, considering how many people do it. My latest idea was to create teams consisting of the mean flamers on the site that shall remain nameless and the cool people here; then, we could duke it out in superbowl style InternetBowl. Imagine the potential for BSDM cheerleading routines.

I feel like a surly, misunderstood teenager and want to sulk. However, I've had enough experience with that to know it gets me nowhere. How should I handle my irritable and irritating teenager within?

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)

Post #: 2925

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 5:34:01 PM

CH3CH2OH

Posts: 57
Joined: 12/17/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack

Develop a remote control and put your fridge on casters; that way, you can summon your fridge (thus beer) to you rather than having to actually move.

This is an amazing idea. Hooray for the power of science!

quote:

ORIGINAL:jblack
I feel like a surly, misunderstood teenager and want to sulk. However, I've had enough experience with that to know it gets me nowhere. How should I handle my irritable and irritating teenager within?

Two words. LiveJournal and Myspace.

I see a little silhouette of a man. There are thunderbolts and lightning, and it's very VERY frightening. What should I do?

< Message edited by CH3CH2OH -- 12/17/2006 5:36:48 PM >

(in reply to jblack)

Post #: 2926

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 10:49:33 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CH3CH2OH

I see a little silhouette of a man. There are thunderbolts and lightning, and it's very VERY frightening. What should I do?

I have no idea. I'm just a small boy from a small family.
(there are so many things wrong with that, but hell)

I have to drive 400 miles today, delivering xmas presents to customers. Yet I'm still sitting here at nearly 7am. How can I accomplish 8 deliveries before 5pm?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)

Post #: 2927

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 11:57:38 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I have to drive 400 miles today, delivering xmas presents to customers. Yet I'm still sitting here at nearly 7am. How can I accomplish 8 deliveries before 5pm?

So THAT's how Christmas gifts really get to children!

Ellen, stop eating all the cookies and milk, and you'll soon feel like moving again.

Santa missed my house last year. What should I do to encourage him to stop this time?

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 2928

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/17/2006 11:59:48 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Put the cookies and milk on the roof... along with a lazer beacon. He wont be able to miss it

I have to train my replacement at work before I leave, and I really dont think he can do the job. How do I break it to management?

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Petruchio)

Post #: 2929

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 12:39:09 AM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

Warn them in an email, then move and watch him do poorly so you can play the "I told you so" card.

My grandpa's dog likes licking my face. Can this bad habit be stopped?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 2930

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 1:24:29 AM

jblack

Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

If you don't mind cruelty to animals, then you could rip out his tongue. If, however, that thought makes you ill, you could always wear a thick layer of makeup on your entire face; the dog will end up licking off the cosmetics, and, when he recognizes that they don't blend with the natural shade of his tongue, he will abruptly stop in a fit of mortification, afraid that his obviously painted tongue makes him look like a streetwalking bitch.

While I consider myself to be an iconoclast, I recently realized that I still worry too much about what other people think. I already live in a Fortress of Solitude (Superman wants me to housesit; he's such a nice boy), but what else can I do to make sure that others don't get to me?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Post #: 2931

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 6:56:16 AM

PALittleGirl

Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

Get a bunch of dogs and let them "go" all over the yard in a wide perimeter. The smell alone should take care of that. Make sure you have a gas mask for yourself.

I keep forgetting to drink enough water and end up getting sick and dehyrated. How can I remind myself to drink at least 64 ounces a day?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to jblack)

Post #: 2932

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 7:03:04 AM

DOM68005

Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline

Sleep in the bathtub. It's full of water.

We are going on a cross country trip... much of it daylight. Why should I allow you to pack anything besides a tooth brush and your cuffs?

(in reply to PALittleGirl)

Post #: 2933

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 7:15:04 AM

PALittleGirl

Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

Why should you? Again... I see no issue with this.

How do I prevent sunburn if all I'm allowed to bring is toothbrush and cuffs?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to DOM68005)

Post #: 2934

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 12:49:25 PM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Beg to go somewhere cold and overcast.

OK, I need to learn to drive really quick so I can take PAlittlegirl on a roadtrip here in the UK. How do I persuade my instructor I'm ready after just two lessons?

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to PALittleGirl)

Post #: 2935

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 1:29:42 PM

jblack

Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Invite the instructor to join you on your road trip; after he gets a sense of what will be in PAlittlegirl's "suitcase," I doubt he'll have much objections to giving you a license right away.

I still want to know how to keep other people from getting to me as I hide in Superman's fortress of solitude.

(in reply to Fitznicely)

Post #: 2936

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 3:19:48 PM

PALittleGirl

Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

Four words: Rodents of Unusual Size.

How can get to the UK so Fitz can take a road trip with me without buying a plane ticket that I can't afford? Also, how do I deal with the fact that I think Fitz is married?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to jblack)

Post #: 2937

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 3:45:36 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

go to the shore, think pure thoughts and walk across the big water; when you get to the UK, tell Fitz that you're there to fuck his wife, and he can join in... if he has a wife, he'll be honest; if not, formally present yourself to him then and there

i have trouble talking to Ma'am about my feelings, and it's a real hard time of year for me; please help

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to PALittleGirl)

Post #: 2938

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 7:06:15 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

i have trouble talking to Ma'am about my feelings, and it's a real hard time of year for me; please help

That's a bitch of a problem because (a) it's well known that doms have no feelings and (b) doms don't want to hear about other people's feelings. However, if you stab yourself in the eye, they might (or might not) notice.

Help! Chylde stabbed his eye with a chocolate Santa. What should he do next?

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 2939

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 7:16:41 PM

CH3CH2OH

Posts: 57
Joined: 12/17/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Stab the other one with a peanut butter snowman. Chocolate and peanut butter go GREAT together!

Help- I'm stuck in chair and forced to look at the Internet for hours on end. I'm afraid my brain will rot. What should I do?!

(in reply to Petruchio)

Post #: 2940

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