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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 12:26:53 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

I just got back from the bank and noticed that the teller gave me an extra $100, what can I do and keep my good karma intact?


a. Send the $100 to me for safekeeping.
b. Immediately resign your CM membership.
c. Attend the religious service of your choice and beg forgiveness.

Hey everyone! Keith just sent me $100!!! What should I spend it on?

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 2881
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 1:14:36 PM   
GoddessKai


Posts: 119
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Hazel Park, Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio


Hey everyone! Keith just sent me $100!!! What should I spend it on?



Hookers, crack and beer. Cheap beer.
 
 
 
What should I do Christmas Eve instead of spending it with my dysfunctional family?

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2882
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 3:20:41 PM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

blackie, I just know you want me to trim your bush, but before we get to that, have you considered bottomiary?



Mmm, I'll just bet you could trim my bush into a divine bottomiary, you flirt.

GoddessKai, here's my recommendation: On December 23, stage your own death. The freedom you'll have will be incredible. Plus, you won't have to pay taxes.

I wore my leather corset out in the rain last night, and it got soaking wet. How do I clean it?



(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2883
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 4:42:21 PM   
PALittleGirl


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Put it in the dryer, on high for 4 hours. Also make sure to put in some metal bits, like screws or nails to make sure it gets really dry.

My cat won't stop licking himself in front of me. I really don't like seeing his little cat penis. How can I make him stop doing this?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2884
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 4:45:59 PM   
TreSwank


Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

Put it in the dryer, on high for 4 hours. Also make sure to put in some metal bits, like screws or nails to make sure it gets really dry.

My cat won't stop licking himself in front of me. I really don't like seeing his little cat penis. How can I make him stop doing this?



*Slaps himself in the face.  "Keep your big mouth shut this time, Tre."

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 12/14/2006 4:47:10 PM >

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2885
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 5:06:51 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

My cat won't stop licking himself in front of me. I really don't like seeing his little cat penis. How can I make him stop doing this?


Did he ask you to stare? Have you ever been arrested for cat voyeurism?

Next time get a lesbian cat and watch her lick herself.

(Swank, you're too funny!)

Little Girl has bought a dog who now licks herself. Now Little Girl complains that she doesn't get animal action anymore. What should she do?

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2886
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 5:42:03 PM   
PALittleGirl


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

My cat won't stop licking himself in front of me. I really don't like seeing his little cat penis. How can I make him stop doing this?


Did he ask you to stare? Have you ever been arrested for cat voyeurism?

Next time get a lesbian cat and watch her lick herself.

(Swank, you're too funny!)

Little Girl has bought a dog who now licks herself. Now Little Girl complains that she doesn't get animal action anymore. What should she do?



Um. Ew?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2887
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 6:22:45 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

Um. Ew?


Little Girl wants an ewe? Welllll, to each her own.

But now you have to pose a new question, preferably one in which my name doesn't figure. (wicked chuckle)

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2888
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 7:51:54 PM   
PALittleGirl


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Petruchio is grossing me out. What implement of torture (or "torture") should I use to make him stop?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2889
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 11:16:06 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

Petruchio is grossing me out. What implement of torture (or "torture") should I use to make him stop?


(innocently) Lots and lots of fellatio?

Little Girl has been good humored and patient. Since it is the holiday season, what should we give her for Christmas?

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2890
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 11:50:49 PM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		I would be inclined to offer PALittleGirl some clothespins for Christmas (considering that they aren't for clothes anymore), but I'm supposed to be providing bad advice. Thus, I suggest we give her an animal farm. Perhaps Petruchio can be in charging of neutering the animals, particularly the shrews.

I've developed a crush on my dentist, so now I do exactly as he says. The result, though, is that I now have excellent oral hygiene, and I never get the chance to see him anymore. What should I do?

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2891
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/14/2006 11:55:41 PM   
Kittykit


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/5/2006
Status: offline 		Become a dentist yourself and put him out of business, then black mail him into dating you

I need a new way to organize my beading... what should I do


(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2892
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/15/2006 12:02:16 AM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Divide your beads into two categories: "anal" and "others." That should do the trick.

No matter what detergent I try, I can't get the stains out of my sheets. What should I do?


(in reply to Kittykit)
Profile   Post #: 2893
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/15/2006 12:18:19 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Beat them against a rock until the spots wear out.  The holes will be far less noticable than the stains were... and if anyone asks... blame the rock.

My boy's too small to fit into most of the clothes I want to see him in... what should I do?

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2894
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/15/2006 1:47:54 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack

Divide your beads into two categories: "anal" and "others." That should do the trick.


quote:

I would be inclined to offer PALittleGirl some clothespins for Christmas (considering that they aren't for clothes anymore)


Hilarious!

quote:

particularly the shrews.


Clever girl!

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2895
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/15/2006 3:42:38 AM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline 		Simple:  Take him to a "Fat Farm" and fatten him up.

My home remodeling contractor told me that I could save $100 by not finishing the garage work.  Will the drywall have problems in the future if it more mud is not slapped on it?

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2896
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/15/2006 5:15:33 AM   
PALittleGirl


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

Petruchio is grossing me out. What implement of torture (or "torture") should I use to make him stop?


(innocently) Lots and lots of fellatio?

Little Girl has been good humored and patient. Since it is the holiday season, what should we give her for Christmas?



I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas... but I think more because I'm Jewish than any behavior on my part.

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2897
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/15/2006 6:58:39 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM68005

My home remodeling contractor told me that I could save $100 by not finishing the garage work.  Will the drywall have problems in the future if it more mud is not slapped on it?


They are charging you $100 for mud? Yes, it might cause problems, but why not do it yourself. Take out a garden hose and wet the walls. Then throw dirt on the walls and wet it done some more. Dirt plus water equals mud, problem solved!

DOM68005's hands are dirty, but he used up all the water making mud, how can he clean his hands?

(in reply to DOM68005)
Profile   Post #: 2898
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/15/2006 9:05:50 AM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		He can't. He's an inherently dirty man, but now you can see it. The only option is for him to imbibe bleach and wash in it as well. Bleach kills all dirt.
 
DOM68005 is now dead. How do we hide the body?

_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 2899
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/15/2006 9:17:36 AM   
DOM68005


Posts: 6069
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Nebraska
Status: offline 		       Park it in your play room as a voyeur.  You get the thrill out of showing off and he won't say a word.

     This site will be going down for maintence.  What do I do until it comes back up?

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2900
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