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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 7:28:43 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Allow your brain to rot, drain it out your nose, and suddenly you'll understand all the myspace-cases.

I'm bored, hungry, and had two cancellations today. How do I keep myself from grumping at my boy when he gets home?

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to CH3CH2OH)
Profile   Post #: 2941
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 8:14:54 PM   
PALittleGirl


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Use a ballgag. You might actually discover you like being submissive! (Kidding!)

I have carpal tunnel syndrome and it hurts to type, yet all the Doms that I have been communicating with demand long email responses. How can I still do what is requested of me yet avoid pain from typing?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)
Profile   Post #: 2942
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 8:23:46 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

I have carpal tunnel syndrome and it hurts to type, yet all the Doms that I have been communicating with demand long email responses. How can I still do what is requested of me yet avoid pain from typing?


Get a Macintosh with IBM voice recognition software. That way you can communicate 'orally'.

Little Girl now has carpal throat syndrome which (according to her frantic hand gestures) she garnered with marathon oral sex. What can she do to once again enjoy oral activities?

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2943
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 9:04:05 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

Little Girl now has carpal throat syndrome which (according to her frantic hand gestures) she garnered with marathon oral sex. What can she do to once again enjoy oral activities?


who says she has to enjoy it?  isn't it all about you?  it's nice of you to pretend to care, but you don't want to confuse her... i recommend using a pipe brush to stimulate he throat in advance of oral service so that she can enjoy the service in comparison

i have a really bad case of the holiday doldrums, how can i get off of my ass and be productive when i really don;t have anything to do, except for hom,ework which i can do right here

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2944
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 9:08:36 PM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Sell the doldrums and get a guitar. Learn to play it, start your own band, get wealthy, and live happily ever after in Financial Domination.

I'm interested in a fellow who is much older than myself. How to I express my interest without coming across as a dirty lil' girl ?


_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2945
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 9:17:52 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid

I'm interested in a fellow who is much older than myself. How to I express my interest without coming across as a dirty lil' girl ?[/color]


You practice with me first and when you're no longer young, I'll let you know.

DiamondOrchid has moved in with me. She turned out not to be dirty after all! How can we muddy her up?

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2946
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 11:17:19 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Throw her in a puddle of mud.

I distracted a gay friend by telling him to look up "boys kissing boys" on YouTube and now he's done poorly on a lit final. How can I make it up to him?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2947
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/18/2006 11:56:11 PM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Get him a part in the next "boys kissing boys" video. He'll forgive you.

Hang on, that might not be a bad idea. Um, tell him to make his own "boys kissing boys" video and turn it into his Lit professor in lieu of the final. Just make sure the prof isn't into queer theory ahead of time; the prof should be an old-school, new critic (trust me: that's the jargon) for the video to have full impact.

I spent too much money on a cute santa outfit to impress a gentleman caller (so to speak). He dumped me, and now I can neither return the outfit nor bear to look at it. What should I do?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2948
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 12:28:33 AM   
ShreveportMaster


Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
Status: offline 		Sell it to a pimp, after all they often stand on street corners yelling Ho Ho Ho!

Help!  jblack has just been arrested for contributing to the deliquency of a major, what can we do to help?

_____________________________

"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2949
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 2:36:10 AM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Remind him that it could be worse - he could be a mall Santa.

My father always forgets the whipped cream when he orders mochas as attempted bribes, err wake up calls. How can I get that part of the order through his skull?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)
Profile   Post #: 2950
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 7:48:37 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple
My father always forgets the whipped cream when he orders mochas as attempted bribes, err wake up calls. How can I get that part of the order through his skull?


After you set your alarm clock before going to bed, put some whipped cream over your chest. Then leave the bottle next to the clock. That way when you get up he will see the whipped cream and it will remind him to put some on your mocha. He won't have to go far since the bottle is sitting next to your clock.

I have to use the bathroom, but I'm all tied up. How can I relieve myself without making a mess?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2951
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 7:53:17 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My father always forgets the whipped cream when he orders mochas as attempted bribes, err wake up calls. How can I get that part of the order through his skull?


Calliope, I'm not sure you should be using whipped cream and your father in the same sentence.

(By the way, I like the funny posts by jBlack and Shreveport.)

Calliope has decided to no longer order mochas. What drink should he choose?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2952
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 7:53:52 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkkeith

I have to use the bathroom, but I'm all tied up. How can I relieve myself without making a mess?


Generate an erection. Open your mouth. Think of England.

Pinkkeith drinks too much before getting tied up. How can he avoid this problem in future?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 2953
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 9:30:30 AM   
PALittleGirl


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Distract himself by forcing me to drink it all. Two solutions in one: He doesn't drink before getting tied up and I avoid being sick and dyhrated.

My cat is refusing to let me give him his pill. How do I convince him he really needs to take it?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2954
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 9:41:41 AM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Step on his tail. When he yowls, shove the pill down his throat.

I'm muddy and Petruchio doesn't have spare clothes. What should I do?


_____________________________

Relationships are like full time jobs and should be treated as such. If your boy/girlfriend wants to leave, they should give you two weeks' notice and severance pay. Also they should have to find you a temp.

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2955
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 10:46:01 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondOrchid

I'm muddy and Petruchio doesn't have spare clothes. What should I do?



Go down to the local laundry mat and wash your clothes there. Just don't leave the establishment without your clothes and you'll be okay.

The police were notified that DiamondOrchid is sitting around at the laundry mat in the buff. How can we stop them from arresting her?

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
Profile   Post #: 2956
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 12:07:37 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Have someone call in a bomb threat a block away so they won't have time to arrest her.

pinkkeith has now been arrested for making a false bomb threat. How can we get money to bail him out?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to pinkkeith)
Profile   Post #: 2957
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 12:50:36 PM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I know a good pimp with a Santa costume that fits me perfectly. I'm sure we can get the money that way.

I've been chatting with a Dom online, and, when he expresses disappointment that I don't follow his orders, I feel like giggling; I have the same response when he issues said orders. How do I start taking this guy seriously?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2958
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/19/2006 2:23:10 PM   
PALittleGirl


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Wait until you are together in real life and then see if he makes you giggle. If he does, I'm sure he will have many ways to deal with it.

Now my cat keeps trying to eat my hair elastics. I don't want him to do this since he could swallow one and it could cause serious problems. But they are all over my house and he keeps finding them. What can I do?

_____________________________

Clothespins aren't just for clothes anymore.

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 2959
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/20/2006 12:45:07 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PALittleGirl

Now my cat keeps trying to eat my hair elastics. I don't want him to do this since he could swallow one and it could cause serious problems. But they are all over my house and he keeps finding them. What can I do?


Get a dog to eat your pussy. That will solve any number of problems.

Little Girl has bought a St.Bernard and she hasn't been seen outside her apartment in a week. Her friends are worried. Should they call in Animal Control?

(in reply to PALittleGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2960
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