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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/21/2006 6:11:32 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

What should I do to motivate myself to actually go outside, despite the chill and constant threat of rain?



Set fire to your house.

Help! Calliope's house is on fire. (again!) How can we stop this wanton pyromania?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2981
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/21/2006 10:33:26 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Build the next house at the bottom of a lake.

Sometimes my computer makes me angry. How do I calm down when it flashes me the blue screen of death???



_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2982
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/21/2006 10:51:14 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Repercussive therapy (or in laymans terms, hit it)

I have been sneezing like mad for 3 days now.  What can I do to stop?

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 2983
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/21/2006 10:53:04 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		Lorelei: Dig out that printout of error message haikus. The beauty of the poetry will soothe you.

DV: Cut off your nose.

What should I get my parents for Christmas? I'm getting desperate!

(Didn't this just happen in another thread too?)

< Message edited by dcnovice -- 12/21/2006 10:55:46 PM >

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 2984
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/22/2006 3:06:45 AM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Something from the clearance bin at Wal-Mart. If they don't like it, they can take it back for a gift card.

I've been having trouble getting to sleep lately. How can I make my mind shut down faster?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 2985
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/22/2006 4:20:15 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Install the latest brain updates from Microsoft or use a hammer.

How can I best avoid my family this Christmas? They turn up at the most inconvenient moments.


_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2986
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/22/2006 4:41:29 PM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		place crime scene tape acrossed your front door

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 2987
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/22/2006 9:51:12 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline 		and?

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)
Profile   Post #: 2988
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 2:31:44 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		And hope they got stranded in Denver.

I have an obsession with versions of the 12 Days of Christmas. What can I do to control it?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2989
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 2:42:21 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple
I have an obsession with versions of the 12 Days of Christmas. What can I do to control it?


Any anti-psychotic drug should do the trick. Take one tablet whilst sitting in a pear tree on the first day, two on the second day and so on till you finish the course.

How do we stop CP from overdosing by the time the 12th day of Xmas rolls round?

E


_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2990
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 3:00:20 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

How do we stop CP from overdosing by the time the 12th day of Xmas rolls round?


Cancel the 5th of January.

What should we plan for the 6th of January?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2991
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 3:08:10 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio
.

What should we plan for the 6th of January?



Orthodox Christmas?

I fancy a bit of iconoclasty down the local church tomorrow night. What should I destroy first?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 2992
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 4:22:05 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		The baby Jesus. Then you need to have sex on the altar.\

Sex on an altar sounds fun. How can I make the fantasy a reality?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2993
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 8:10:21 PM   
Dragonskiss72


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline 		befriend a local vicar


I've been wrapping xmas presents all day only to discover that I forgot to put tags on some of them.  How do I ensure that they go to the right people without unwrapping/re-wrapping the damn things again??


(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2994
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 8:28:34 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Put tags on them randomly and pray.

How can I get out of buying my father a Christmas/birthday present?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Dragonskiss72)
Profile   Post #: 2995
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 10:12:56 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple
How can I get out of buying my father a Christmas/birthday present?


As a psychopath, I'd say kill him, and smear the blood on the walls, laughing like a maniac....

My axe is blunt, and I have plans for tomorrow night, when its dark and people are walking in the shadows. God told me to do it. Whats the best way to sharpen a 6 inch bringer of vengeance?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2996
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/23/2006 10:15:12 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Sharpen it on the blunt skulls.


The Coneheads

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2997
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/24/2006 12:54:08 AM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		The Coneheads have apparently stolen Ron's brain. How can we get it back?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 2998
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/24/2006 1:02:14 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

The Coneheads have apparently stolen Ron's brain. How can we get it back?


I think Madonna hid it in that conical bra she used to wear.

Does Madonna have conical tits? And if so, how do you know? Enquiring minds want to know.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 2999
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 12/24/2006 2:45:46 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Without that bra, I get the distinct impression they'd be closer to her bellybutton than her chin these days. How do I know? Well, she's nearly fifty y'know. Without surgery, things tend to succumb to gravity....

I need to be supervising two manic kids, putting self-assembly toys together, freeing stuff from iron-hard packaging, fitting batteries, fielding wellmeaning phonecalls from relatives AND cooking a turkey dinner at the same time tomorrow morning. HELP!


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 3000
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