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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 12:33:31 PM   
MistressFeathers


Posts: 121
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Get over it things could be worse.


I've knackered my back, have phobia about flying, hate airports & am going to eygpt tmrw.  How do I pass the time without turning me, my husband or fellow passangers into total wrecks?


(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 3421
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 12:41:25 PM   
QuietDom


Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressFeathers
I've knackered my back, have phobia about flying, hate airports & am going to eygpt tmrw.  How do I pass the time without turning me, my husband or fellow passangers into total wrecks?


Read the little safety-procedures pamphlet.  Over and over.  Out loud.  If it's one of those that's mainly diagrams, improvise your own description of the procedures, and the highly probable disaster that creates the need for each one.

I just came back from a pleasant weekend with friends, and have no real problems I can think of just now.  How can I develop some comically dramatic tribulations to post in this thread?

(in reply to MistressFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 3422
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 1:48:48 PM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		easy go to black history month party dressed in a white robe with a long pointy white mask covering your face with the holes in for your eyes, just say you are a ghost.....

Ive seen a great deal on Ebay but cant believe it, they want £1000 for a brand new car, they say its all legit even though theres no picture what should i do ?

_____________________________

A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

(in reply to QuietDom)
Profile   Post #: 3423
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 2:47:01 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Send the money to me instead. At least then you will KNOW you're getting scammed.

I wanna go out tonight but I can't find anyone to go with me. What do I do?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to bludemonn)
Profile   Post #: 3424
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 3:34:39 PM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		Get ready and doll yourself up then walk the streets preferably where other ladies walk at night, dunno why maybe they are waiting for a bus, rumour has it cars usually pull over and the men who are all lost chat you up and you end up with a date! hey presto! 

I may go for a late night drive tonight, any suggestions where? 

_____________________________

A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3425
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 7:28:02 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Off a cliff! (Sorry, but this -is- the bad advice thread)

I like having my neck bitten, but I don't want hickeys visible for my interview on Friday. What can I do to reduce the appearence of the marks?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to bludemonn)
Profile   Post #: 3426
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 7:30:48 PM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		easy, just dress up as a vampire and go to work pretending you thought it was 'fancy-dress' day!!

I'm trying to 'beef' up what is the best way to get hulked?

_____________________________

A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3427
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 7:35:55 PM   
Sternhand4


Posts: 422
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		I like having my neck bitten, but I don't want hickeys visible for my interview on Friday. What can I do to reduce the appearence of the marks?

Wear a nice leather collar  ( oh wait its bad advise we're looking for )

Distract them with larger needle tracks on your arms and be sure to ask if the health coverage plan covers addictions...

Is it ok to store my handgun near the cookie jar?

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3428
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 7:38:17 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Why wouldnt it be?  The Keebler elves arent strong enough to pick up a handgun...

I am having a chocolate craving and have none here... what should I do?

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Sternhand4)
Profile   Post #: 3429
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 7:41:07 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Only as long as you store the bullets in the cookie jar.


I'm trying to make a nice Christmas card for next year but the antlers won't stay on the gerbil.  Is there anything I could do with maybe a ferret or something?

_____________________________

I walk the lonely road,
the only one that I have ever known.

(in reply to Sternhand4)
Profile   Post #: 3430
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 7:43:22 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		super glue

the damn cat keeps making noise at the door but wont come inside when I open it.  What should I do?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3431
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 7:50:22 PM   
Sternhand4


Posts: 422
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Head for the cookie jar..

Now that PETA is hunting me where should I hide?

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 3432
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/19/2007 8:09:04 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry man, there's no where to hide from them.  You could try an animal costume and hide in the zoo.

The damn ghost, spirit, whatever keeps blowing up all the light bulbs.  How do I get rid of it?

_____________________________

I walk the lonely road,
the only one that I have ever known.

(in reply to Sternhand4)
Profile   Post #: 3433
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/20/2007 9:29:30 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Find the guy who played the priest in The Exorcism of Emily Rose and get him to help you get rid of it.

I finally got laid today, but don't want him to think I'm a slut. What can I do?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3434
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/20/2007 10:22:15 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		get laid with 8 more people in the next 24 hours, but charge for it so you can be a whore instead

i'm straight but watch half naked men in tights touching each other all over and getting into suggestive positions at every chance, how do i justify my love for professional wrestling?

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3435
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 4:27:50 AM   
goodlittlegirl28


Posts: 2108
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline 		tell people you're a lover of contact sports, such as professional wrestling... and ballet.

i don't much care for alcohol, but i feel like a kid when i go out and order a soda. is there an alternative?

_____________________________

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Love people, not things. Use things, not people.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 3436
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 7:44:48 AM   
QuietDom


Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goodlittlegirl28
i don't much care for alcohol, but i feel like a kid when i go out and order a soda. is there an alternative?


Alcohol-free 'mocktails' are your friends.  Try a 'Shirley Temple'.

Life is a meaningless, empty, grey wasteland that rolls inevitably on to death.  What can I do about this?

(in reply to goodlittlegirl28)
Profile   Post #: 3437
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 9:09:59 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm trying to 'beef' up what is the best way to get hulked?


Expose yourself to Gamma radiation and have someone make you angry. It worked for David Banner.

quote:

I am having a chocolate craving and have none here... what should I do?


Whenever having a chocolate Jones it is best to sever a body part, that way you will always remember to have chocolate handy.

quote:

Life is a meaningless, empty, grey wasteland that rolls inevitably on to death.  What can I do about this?


Speed things up with a heroin habit.

I keep getting these annoying headaches after drinking coffee. How can I get rid of them?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to QuietDom)
Profile   Post #: 3438
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 12:21:07 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Mix the coffee with alcohol so you don't notice the headache.

I had a package sent Priority Mail a week ago...and it's not here. What's the best way to complain to the postal service?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 3439
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 12:24:57 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

I had a package sent Priority Mail a week ago...and it's not here. What's the best way to complain to the postal service?



the only way they'll respect, with a semi-automatic

i want to color my hair but can't afford to go to a salon and afraid to screw it up at home, what do i do?

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3440
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