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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 2:22:24 PM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		ask the neighborhood drag queen to help you out. Instead of paying with cash, take it out in trade.
 
 
I get bored very easy and then get into trouble, how do I correct this habit?

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 3441
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 2:35:41 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Skip waiting to be bored and just cause trouble 24/7. Saves getting to the boredom stage.
 
I keep being accused of being a flirt, how do i stop myself from flirting?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to bearincuffs)
Profile   Post #: 3442
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 3:09:08 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		Hire a huge guy named "Gronk" to bash you over the head every time he sees you flirt or even interact with anyone.
 
I need to lose weight quickly in order to fit into my new french maid outfit, what is the best way to do this??

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 3443
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 3:20:41 PM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		Record a tape of someone screaming phrases such as "Oh god... noooo... please!! Don't eat me!" and "H... how could you digest little Timmy?!" Then paint faces on anything edible in your house. Each time you get the urge to grab a bite... play the tape and let the guilt take you over.

My phone keeps making this obnoxious ringing noise. It's really starting to bother me. How should I go about making sure it's quiet?

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to quietkitten)
Profile   Post #: 3444
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 4:15:33 PM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		The best way to make sure your phone stays quiet is with a sledgehammer. The next time it begins ringing you just pound the shit out of it until that annoying ringing stops.

-------------------------------------------

My cell phone company is giving me the run-around. They say they have wonderful service coverage in my area but I still keep getting dropped calls and distortion even when I am standing perfectly still. How can I get them to understand my dilemma?

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 3445
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 4:20:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RobertCloud


My cell phone company is giving me the run-around. They say they have wonderful service coverage in my area but I still keep getting dropped calls and distortion even when I am standing perfectly still. How can I get them to understand my dilemma?


Kidnap the CEO and introduce him to your AK-47 collection.

Himself and I are supposed to meet some folks this weekend, but the weather man has predicted a snow storm. How can I stop it from snowing so we can meet up with these folks without having to worry about traveling in such inclement weather?

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to RobertCloud)
Profile   Post #: 3446
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 4:31:06 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		go outside and dance naked under the light of the silvery moon and say "snow snow go away" four times...make sure to video tape it and mail it to me though

** i am feeling so cranky cause i can't take my antidepressants for ten days til i'm off my meds..any suggestions to make me happy again?

_____________________________

Our greatest glory is not in never falling-but in rising every time we fall ( Confucius )

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 3447
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 4:59:10 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72
** i am feeling so cranky cause i can't take my antidepressants for ten days til i'm off my meds..any suggestions to make me happy again?


Take them anyway. If one medication is supposed to be good for you, and the other medication is supposed to help you, then taking both at once should make you feel wonderful! Damn doctors are just trying to keep you from having a good time.

It seems like i wash dishes every day, and yet, the next day, there are more dirty dishes How can i find a submissive to do no-strings attached housework for me when i'm not a Dominant Woman?

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 3448
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 5:17:30 PM   
painlovingsub


Posts: 44
Joined: 2/7/2007
From: my mother :p
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72
** i am feeling so cranky cause i can't take my antidepressants for ten days til i'm off my meds..any suggestions to make me happy again?


Take them anyway. If one medication is supposed to be good for you, and the other medication is supposed to help you, then taking both at once should make you feel wonderful! Damn doctors are just trying to keep you from having a good time.

It seems like i wash dishes every day, and yet, the next day, there are more dirty dishes How can i find a submissive to do no-strings attached housework for me when i'm not a Dominant Woman?



Kidnap someone, put an electric collar on their neck so they cannot leave and make them do Your housework. *grin*


My ex is really pissing me off today... What should i do to stop Him from calling and torturing me? :p

< Message edited by painlovingsub -- 2/21/2007 5:18:45 PM >

_____________________________

*smile*

"The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude." - Aldous Huxley

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 3449
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 5:31:13 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

I'm trying to make a nice Christmas card for next year but the antlers won't stay on the gerbil.  Is there anything I could do with maybe a ferret or something?



Drywall screws.  Saves on ferret food costs as well.

I have had a murderous adrenalin hangover all day.  What should I do?

Sinergy 

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 3450
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 6:07:26 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Get drunk. You need a real hangover.

The cats keep attempting to steal my chicken nuggets. How can I show them that this is people food, not kitty food?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3451
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 6:20:33 PM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		Spinkle all the chicken nuggets with tabasco sauce, if that fails, remove all people food from your house and eat out for every meal and leave the cats at home with only cat foosd.
 
 
How do I tame a renegade bludemon on the CM Party Cruise ship?

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3452
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/21/2007 7:59:37 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Give him to me... Muahahahaha


My feet hurt and I happen to have run out of willing slaves to rub them. Where can I get a foot massage at this time of night?

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to bearincuffs)
Profile   Post #: 3453
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/22/2007 12:31:08 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Get drunk. You need a real hangover.



Advice taken.

I have a real hangover and Im out of tylenol.  What do I do now?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 3454
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/22/2007 12:33:41 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

Give him to me... Muahahahaha


My feet hurt and I happen to have run out of willing slaves to rub them. Where can I get a foot massage at this time of night?


Walk up and down Tenchi's back.  This will activate the pressure points in your feet and make you feel wonderful.

Im getting heavy lift pay today, but the only lift available was this little tiny dinky thing (unlike the one that picks up 80 tons that I drove last week) that is insulting my maleness every time I pick up a 2 ton coil of steel.  What do I do?

Sinergy 

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 3455
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/22/2007 4:51:47 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
Im getting heavy lift pay today, but the only lift available was this little tiny dinky thing (unlike the one that picks up 80 tons that I drove last week) that is insulting my maleness every time I pick up a 2 ton coil of steel.  What do I do?

Sinergy 


Be a Real Man (tm) and pick it up without that sissy lift.

i developed a hernia while trying to lift my maleness. What's a good home remedy?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3456
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/22/2007 4:58:21 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
Im getting heavy lift pay today, but the only lift available was this little tiny dinky thing (unlike the one that picks up 80 tons that I drove last week) that is insulting my maleness every time I pick up a 2 ton coil of steel.  What do I do?

Sinergy 


Be a Real Man (tm) and pick it up without that sissy lift.

i developed a hernia while trying to lift my maleness. What's a good home remedy?



Two words:  Loreena Bobbit

It is raining like nuts outside, and I signed up for a dance class tonight which means I have to leave the safety and dryness of my place.  What should I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 3457
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/22/2007 5:04:38 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Ask a biker to borrow his leather jacket so you won't get your tutu wet.


My husband wants me to go hunting with him, but I am opposed to shooting defenseless animals. what should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3458
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/22/2007 5:14:56 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Visualize being Dick Cheney and shoot the orange wearing guy with a gun you went hunting with.

Dont tell anybody for two days while your spin doctors try to come up with a reasonable excuse, then pretend you mistook him for a quail.

The biker wants me to do a strip tease for him out of his jacket.  I dont swing that way.  What do I do?

Sinergy

< Message edited by Sinergy -- 2/22/2007 5:15:48 PM >

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 3459
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 2/22/2007 5:19:32 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Give him a blowjob instead.

I think my mother-in-law is not wearing panties but she is sitting on my keys. What do I do?

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 3460
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