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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/6/2007 8:09:48 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I get aroused when getting tattooed where should i get my next one and how big?


Get one on your eyeballs. Have it be as big as possible.

I tried the home cough remedy and now I have the runs. What should I do now?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 4121
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/6/2007 8:11:57 AM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		walk around without pants or underwear and let nature RUN its course.

Tattoo guy said he won't do my eyeball? Any other locations i should think of?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 4122
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2007 12:02:54 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		The intestines.  It can be real simple, just arrows pointing in the direction of flow.

I want to run for president.  How do I explain my CM ad if the press finds out about it?

_____________________________



(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 4123
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2007 12:34:34 AM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		Just have them direct all questions to the forum and entitle each with FAKES! , and TRUE in the subject. We'll take care of the rest.

I've got a bad cramp in my middle finger that won't let it bend. everybody thinks I'm flipping them off. Whatt can I do about it?


< Message edited by szobras -- 6/7/2007 12:35:41 AM >

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
Profile   Post #: 4124
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2007 5:16:52 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		break it off..problem solved.


I want to take a trip around the world to meet certain people.  I'm broke how to I fund my trip?

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to szobras)
Profile   Post #: 4125
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2007 5:58:00 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I want to take a trip around the world to meet certain people.  I'm broke how to I fund my trip?


Sell your internal organs.

I burned my arm on a hot cooking pan. It hurts. What can I do to treat the burn?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 4126
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2007 6:38:11 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		*S* let this nurse take care of you

how can I get gauge here to do my evil bidding?

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 4127
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 3:45:53 PM   
forcemarch


Posts: 184
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple
how can I get gauge here to do my evil bidding?


Take his cat and throw it in a kennel full of Pitbulls. Cats make a great chew toy.


I am getting a yearly check-up next week. I know the Doctor is going to have to check my prostrate this time. I am having a little anxiety about his finger up my ass. What can I do to not get so worked up about this?

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 4128
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 4:31:05 PM   
tatangel


Posts: 507
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Valium and laxitives. It won't bother you a bit. I want to get a new car, but they are too expensive. What can I do to earn money?

_____________________________

It used to be that being crazy meant something...now everybody's crazy.

(in reply to forcemarch)
Profile   Post #: 4129
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 4:53:06 PM   
forcemarch


Posts: 184
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tatangel

I want to get a new car, but they are too expensive. What can I do to earn money?


Sell crack to young inner city children. It's quite lucrative.

I'm taking off some time away from work. I have no plans. What can I do for fun? 



(in reply to tatangel)
Profile   Post #: 4130
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 4:56:51 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: forcemarch


I'm taking off some time away from work. I have no plans. What can I do for fun? 




Come down to Pensacola, and count the individual grains of sand on the beach. It is important that each one be tabulated for insurance purposes, before the next hurricane. After all, we just paid to have the beach replaced. *sighs*


I have not even finished repairing my house after the last hurricane, and it is already hurricane season again. What should I do?

(edited for pisspoor typing skills)

< Message edited by nyrisa -- 6/8/2007 4:57:24 PM >

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to forcemarch)
Profile   Post #: 4131
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 5:04:35 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Don't bother wasting the money to rush and fix the repairs. Abandon your house nd buy another house in Nebraska where they don't have hurricanes.

I'm in a foul mood where I want to cause lots of trouble. How can I do this without being jailed?

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 4132
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 5:10:27 PM   
tatangel


Posts: 507
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

Don't bother wasting the money to rush and fix the repairs. Abandon your house nd buy another house in Nebraska where they don't have hurricanes.

I'm in a foul mood where I want to cause lots of trouble. How can I do this without being jailed?
On CM of course! Duh! What is the best way to help bear get into trouble?

_____________________________

It used to be that being crazy meant something...now everybody's crazy.

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 4133
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 5:27:59 PM   
forcemarch


Posts: 184
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline 		Get in your car immediately and drive to the nearest city. Find the part of town that has a lot of minorities. Get out of your car and start yelling out racist slurs and such. I assure you will not be arrested. Plus it's alot of fun.  

I am having recurring fantasies and thoughts about queening [being queened]. How can I stop thinking about it?   

(in reply to tatangel)
Profile   Post #: 4134
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 5:55:03 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: forcemarch
I am having recurring fantasies and thoughts about queening [being queened]. How can I stop thinking about it?   


Pay for a year of T-1 service at my house. i'll email you a bonanza of facesitting porn. After several hours of frantic masturbation, you'll be less interested in queening than a nap and a couple ibuprofin for your elbow.

My cat is laying on my mousepad looking pathetic. How can i cheer her up?

(in reply to forcemarch)
Profile   Post #: 4135
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 6:02:55 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Give her some laxative to help her pass the mouse. I hope it was a wireless mouse, or that cord is REALLY going to tickle going through.........

I am having trouble sleeping at night, and counting sheep just does nothing for me. What should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 4136
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 6:54:59 PM   
forcemarch


Posts: 184
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline 		Here's what works for me. As you lay to sleep, think about a big hairy spider crawling up the sheet. Know that when you eventually fall asleep that spider will crawl all over you. Your lips, hair, inside your ear, it will crawl under your sheets and crawl over your entire body. Then more spiders appear. Running all over you...crawling...You open your mouth and a very large wolf spider crawls inside....You suddenly wake up and jump out of bed trying despartely trying to shake off the spiders covering and crawling on your skin. You step out of bed only to hear the sound of thousands of spiders crushed with their guts oozing out under your feet.  The little creatures crawl up your legs...between your legs....biting your flesh.

...Then you think about counting fluffy puffy sheep again and fall fast asleep.  :)


Sometimes I get lonely. What's the best cure for that?


<Edited because I made a typo and I heard you could be arrested for that.>

< Message edited by forcemarch -- 6/8/2007 7:01:01 PM >

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 4137
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 7:00:25 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		make up a host of imaginary friends, go walking in town, and insist that every passer by address all of the imaginary friends by name. 

im realllly bored at work right now...what can i do to liven things up?

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to forcemarch)
Profile   Post #: 4138
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 7:11:10 PM   
forcemarch


Posts: 184
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline 		Order a LARGE sausage pizza from a local pizza place. When the delivery boy comes answer the door completely naked, look very seductive, and ask the boy "Do you have my large sausage"? See what happens.

I think I've gone insane. How can I tell?


(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
Profile   Post #: 4139
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2007 7:12:20 PM   
Boucanier


Posts: 48
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline 		Hold an impromptu paintball tournament, Black Trenchcoats vs. Old Army Fatigues.

Hey, there's a nasty rotten-eggs smell coming from my gas stove.  What could be causing that?

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
Profile   Post #: 4140
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