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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/21/2007 9:36:12 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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quote:

I really need to go take a nap for work tonight, putting a movie "On Demand" to fall asleep to.  Unfortunately, I don't know how to program the remote.  What should I do?


Read the instructions in Chinese. By the time you are done, it will be time for work and you wont have to worry about it.


I do not have a question to post. How can I make something in my life go wrong so I can ask for advice?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 2:32:07 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge




I do not have a question to post. How can I make something in my life go wrong so I can ask for advice?



Have children. Have several. The opportunities to need advice will be unlimited.

I need to reawaken the spark in my libido. What should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 2:55:53 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa
I need to reawaken the spark in my libido. What should I do?


Blowdry your hair while in the bath - I am pretty sure you will get a huge surge just before having a long long sleep.
 
How do I let people that are old enough to be my father know that I am not interested without saying that I do not like older people?

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
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http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 3:24:42 AM   
nyrisa


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Joined: 11/20/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone


How do I let people that are old enough to be my father know that I am not interested without saying that I do not like older people?


On your profile, include a note from your father saying you are not allowed to date anyone his age or older (unless they are willing to pay off your student loans, the remainder of your orthodontic bill, and your car insurance).



Morning comes so very early in the summertime, it is really inconvenient. How can I arrange for the sun to rise later?


_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to wandersalone)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 4:51:23 AM   
petdave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

Morning comes so very early in the summertime, it is really inconvenient. How can I arrange for the sun to rise later?



Move to the southern hemisphere for the summer.

i'm getting too fat for my clothes, but i really like food. What should i do?



(in reply to nyrisa)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 4:56:31 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Paint yourself green, put on your clothes, and keep eating till you split right out of them.  Say it's for charity, but pilfer the money instead to buy new clothes.

I am tired of the hair that grows on my ears, but I hate to shave them and I'm too sensitive for Nair.  How do I get rid of the hair?



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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 6:11:56 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Get your Mistress a pair of tweezers and let Her sadistic side run wild!!!
 
I got time off last minute to attend an event out of town.  Sultan's type theme, but I have nothing to wear.  What should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 11:37:19 AM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		Go naked. Then, you'll get a lot of attention & learn what 'service' really means.

Hmmm... this Sultan party sounds interesting... but I'm in Canada... how can I possibly attend?


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You know that I am a sexy penguin.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 8:18:33 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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quote:

Hmmm... this Sultan party sounds interesting... but I'm in Canada... how can I possibly attend?


Strap 30 pounds of plastic explosive to your chest and hijack a plane. Oh, this also works to get time off from work too.

I fear that I might be investigated by the FBI for my last bit of advice. What can I do to make sure that doesn't happen?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 4269
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/22/2007 9:37:26 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge



I fear that I might be investigated by the FBI for my last bit of advice. What can I do to make sure that doesn't happen?



Send them an email, assuring them that you have no plans to hijack plans, and no plans to overthrow the government, either. They will appreciate not having to waste time and resources to investigate you.


I believe that I am being influenced by malicious thought transfers from alien life forms. What should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 4270
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 2:19:20 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa
I believe that I am being influenced by malicious thought transfers from alien life forms. What should I do?


Wrap yourself in tinfoil and keep this on 24/7 - aliens will not be able to infiltrate your protective barrier.

How can I clean my car without having to leave the warmth of my bed?

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 4271
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 7:19:48 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Very simple........
 
Oh.BOY!!!!!..... sub.... slave..... whatever...... New task for you.
 
I'm becoming concerned that My answers on this thread will start to lessen My credibility for those times I do have good advice.  What should I do?
 
 
 

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 4272
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 9:04:13 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
 
I'm becoming concerned that My answers on this thread will start to lessen My credibility for those times I do have good advice.  What should I do?



Stop giving good advice. No one ever listens to good advice anyway.

i have two, fifty-foot, termite-riddled oak trees on my property that i need to get rid of before they hit the house, and my wife won't let me get a chainsaw. What should i do?

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4273
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 9:10:49 AM   
mysdimenor


Posts: 39
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		get an anteater and have it sleep in your bed. the chainsaw will soon be yours

i have the flu and a visitor coming tomorrow. how do i feign healthiness?







< Message edited by mysdimenor -- 6/23/2007 9:11:43 AM >

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better to have loved and lost than to spend the rest of your life with a psycho

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 11:07:50 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Drink alcohol profusely, and claim the vomiting is from the booze.

I want to take pilot lessons but I don't have the money. How do I learn to fly?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 12:32:42 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I want to take pilot lessons but I don't have the money. How do I learn to fly?


Cape, tall building. Do the math.

I just got back from dinner with my Dad and I had to send my steak back three times until it was done the way I ordered it. How can I prevent this from happening again when I order a steak?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
Profile   Post #: 4276
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 1:28:19 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


I just got back from dinner with my Dad and I had to send my steak back three times until it was done the way I ordered it. How can I prevent this from happening again when I order a steak?



Decide that tough steak is less troubling than having the waiter spit on it after the second time you sent it back.


My family wants to spend every day at the beach; I hate the beach, but they want family togetherness, and insist that I go too. How can I make my time at the beach more entertaining?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 4277
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 2:43:50 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa
My family wants to spend every day at the beach; I hate the beach, but they want family togetherness, and insist that I go too. How can I make my time at the beach more entertaining? 


Take a sniper rifle with you.

I do not want to go out shopping for my Mom. How can I avoid doing this?

< Message edited by Gauge -- 6/23/2007 2:44:41 PM >

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 4278
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 6:25:28 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		There is a great choice of mothers online these days you may find one or two on this very site even.

I have gotten into the habit of staying up way past 2am on weekends this isn’t good as I am like the walking dead on Monday, how can I learn to go to sleep earlier?

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 4279
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/23/2007 7:30:21 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Wait until the time changes in the fall; then, at 2 am, it will only be 1 am.

I was offered a very cute puppy today, and I'd love to have him, but I know he will grow into a big dog, and I can't have a big dog. What should I do?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 4280
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