RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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champagnewishes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/1/2006 11:28:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge My kids are coming this weekend and I don't have anything planned... any thoughts? Pay them to entertain themselves while you kick back and relax. My fair haired daughter and i are going to hang out at the pool all weekend...all my sunscreen is packed in storage and i am too cheap to go buy more...any suggestions?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/1/2006 11:36:20 PM)
quote: My fair haired daughter and i are going to hang out at the pool all weekend...all my sunscreen is packed in storage and i am too cheap to go buy more...any suggestions? Dog feces is a wonderful, cheap sunscreen. You may have to squish it between your fingers before you can spread it on yourself, but I am sure you will get the hang of it. Oh... also, if you are going to a public pool, the dog feces will ensure that you get a decent place to sit. Oh yes, bring a lot of it because it will wash off in water. I need to clean my apartment windows and screens, I am just not motivated enough to do them. Is there an easy way?

champagnewishes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/1/2006 11:42:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I need to clean my apartment windows and screens, I am just not motivated enough to do them. Is there an easy way? Hire ille...oops wrong thread...squirt them with liquid dish soap such as Joy or Dawn and wait for the next rain. My dog doesn't like other dogs sniffing her butt...what should i do?

colosubseeking -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/1/2006 11:49:31 PM)
Strap some raw meat to her butt, then the other dogs won't sniff her butt, they'll bite it. In reference to my earlier post, after i gave the cops the body, they arrested me. They're threatening the death penalty. What should i do now?

BitaTruble -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 12:43:09 AM)
quote: In reference to my earlier post, after i gave the cops the body, they arrested me. They're threatening the death penalty. What should i do now? Get more life insurance and cancel your dental plan. You won't need it. I've been told I'm paranoid, but people really are out to get me. Should I hire a body guard?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 1:28:37 AM)
Nah, go down to the local Army/Navy Surplus Store, stock up on military gear and walk around with a pistol in a holster on one hip and a pepper spray in a pouch on the other. If you think you are being followed, start screaming and attacking the people behind you. The frat house down the street keep throwing loud parties with the "boomba- boomba" music blaring. What should I do? -Vendaval-

TolerableCruelty -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 1:33:11 AM)
convince BitaTruble that the frat boys are the ones that are "after her" and send her down there with the military gear.... I'm tired of all the online chatroom drama.. how can I end it ?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 1:40:10 AM)
Have an affair with your boss or their spouse and start going to swing clubs with you co-workers. My nipples are sore from rubbing up against My boy's hair chest, what do I do? -Vendaval-

MsLayla -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 2:10:11 AM)
Rub against his hair back instead, if needed you could try with some KY so its more slippery and less friction. My plants are dying, what can I do?

champagnewishes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 7:59:38 AM)
Stick a sign on them..."awaiting their second coming". I need to do laundry but i am out of laundry soap...is there something i can use instead?

caitlyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 8:51:22 AM)
Many years ago, they used to use old horses to make soap. Try putting a horse in your washing machine. The Starbucks on my way to school is so packed, sometimes I have to go without my morning coffee. What should I do?

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 11:13:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn The Starbucks on my way to school is so packed, sometimes I have to go without my morning coffee. What should I do? Make yourself a fake law enforcement badge and flash it while yelling "Emergency...out of the way, coming through!" My voicemail is not letting Me know when I have messages ...any ideas?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 11:13:20 AM)
quote: The Starbucks on my way to school is so packed, sometimes I have to go without my morning coffee. What should I do? Dress in full combat armor and camouflage, get an M-16 and several grenades and walk right up to the counter and casually order your double moca-chino latte with steamed non-fat milk. I am running out of peanuts to feed my chipmunk, is there any thing else I can feed him?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 11:15:49 AM)
quote: My voicemail is not letting Me know when I have messages ...any ideas? Scold it. Give it a verbal warning and then a written warning if it happens again. Issue a second written warning if it occurs again and it if continues after that, fire it and get a new voicemail. I am running out of peanuts to feed my chipmunk, is there any thing else I can feed him?

Guest -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 12:49:46 PM)
Yes, you can feed him to the dog. Is there a way that I can attract a partner that will be really bad for me?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 2:15:36 PM)
quote: Is there a way that I can attract a partner that will be really bad for me? Certainly there is. But after the chipmunk comment I am disinclined to answer you... but I will try. What you do is go to a nightclub with a large piece of rotting meat hanging around your neck. The person that trys to pick you up should be the one you seek. I don't know what to do for dinner. Any thoughts?

orokana -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 3:41:58 PM)
This brings us back to the chipmunk... but I shall resist. Grab something out of your medicine cabinet and deep fry it. My computer seems to be infected with spyware. What should I do?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 4:00:02 PM)
Sure, go down to the local yuppie-high-priced-pet-store and purchase gourmet, organic, no-additive rodent feed. Pay $25.00 for about 2 pounds of it. Train your little buddy to ONLY eat said gourmet feed and to turn up his/her nose at any sub-standard food offerings from the lowly human. The walls of My apartment are thin and the guy on the other side snores like a bloody chain saw. What do I do? -Vendaval- quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I am running out of peanuts to feed my chipmunk, is there any thing else I can feed him?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 4:12:58 PM)
Sure, post numerous profiles Online and in your local newspaper with the following personal advertisement - "I am a young millionaire looking for a woman to spoil with love, attention and presents. Tall, dark and handsome, standing 6 foot 2 and weighing 200 pounds. Since I am also a virgin, you will be my first and only love. I work out daily, have 5% body fat, can bench press 500 pounds, have a 10 inch dick, 6 inches in diameter, and want to learn all techniques possible for cunningulus." The incessant rains this spring have caused the swimming pool in My apartment complex to overflow. What do I do? -Vendaval- quote: ORIGINAL: ModeratorTwelve Is there a way that I can attract a partner that will be really bad for me?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 4:18:54 PM)
Phone it in, both the sex and the food. Call for a stripper and for food delivery at the same time. If the food arrives first, share it will the life entertainment, provide she is willing to be the serving platter. If the live entertainment arrives first, invite the delivery guy inside and have him watch. Tip him a $20 if he is willing to be the serving platter. The coast fog is rolling in tonight and soon visibility will be nil. What do I do? -Vendaval- quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I don't know what to do for dinner. Any thoughts?

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