RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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caitlyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 4:50:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval
The coast fog is rolling in tonight and soon visibility will be nil.
What do I do?


Close you eyes while you're driving, then you won't know it's foggy.
 
My monthly cycle has a flat ... how do I fix it? 



HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 4:51:53 PM)

Sounds like a good night for you to try out drag racing.  Enjoy life and do not wear a seat belt.


I just ran out of olive oil, and would like some hints on making a new tasty salad dressing.



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/2/2006 10:18:03 PM)

quote:

My computer seems to be infected with spyware. What should I do?


Well, you really don't know if it is infected with spyware because you said "it seems to be infected." Go to a site where you know there is spyware and download a lot of it. Then you will be able to tell if your computer is infected or not.

quote:

 The walls of My apartment are thin and the guy on the other side snores like a bloody chain saw.  What do I do? 


Ask him if he can snore like a chainsaw without blood on it.

quote:

My monthly cycle has a flat ... how do I fix it? 


A can of Fix-A-Flat should do the trick... just insert the tube and press the button.

quote:

I just ran out of olive oil, and would like some hints on making a new tasty salad dressing.


10W - 30 motor oil should substitute nicely for olive oil. Make sure you get the synthetic motor oil for the best flavor. Add a little Yak snot and a dash of salt and pepper and pour into a bottle and shake like there is no tomorrow. Then shake the dressing.

My one bookshelf is sagging, should I fix it? How?



BitaTruble -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 1:32:51 AM)

quote:

My one bookshelf is sagging, should I fix it? How?


Yes, fix it. Prop it up with books.

We are moving and Himself said we can get a dog. What kind of dog should we get?





Wulfchyld -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 1:38:17 AM)

A benji dog of course.

I have been chatting with a sub I am thinking about playing with. She said she didn’t have limits. Should I take the bastard sword or the 9MM?
 



Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 1:50:10 AM)

Loki, you should take both of course.  Be sure to blindfold her with a scratchy
wool rag and secure her with wet leather straps for bondage.  Then prod her in the soft spots with the tip of the sword and the nuzzle of the 9MM and ask her to tell you which is which.
 
I was being silly tonight and drank way too much coffee way too late!!!.
What do I do?
 
-Vendaval-

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

I have been chatting with a sub I am thinking about playing with. She said she didn’t have limits. Should I take the bastard sword or the 9MM?




Wulfchyld -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 2:08:46 AM)

Simple. Strip naked and cover yourself in lime green jello and run around the block 3 times.
 Well the gun misfired. Should I call John Edwards or Miss Cleo to find out if death was a hard limit for her?



chainedupnick -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 9:39:16 AM)

Neither... she said she didn't have limits, right?

I've lost my mind, where should i start looking for it?



BitaTruble -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 10:14:40 AM)

quote:



I've lost my mind, where should i start looking for it?


The Random Stupidity threads.

Stamps are getting expensive. Should I buy a new car so I can just drive to someone and talk to them directly?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 2:05:08 PM)

quote:

Stamps are getting expensive. Should I buy a new car so I can just drive to someone and talk to them directly?


No. Buying a new car won't solve anything as gas prices are going through the roof. Put yourself into an 80 ton hydraulic press and that should make you flat enough to fit in an envelope. Mail yourself to your friends.


My car keeps getting dusty overnight. What can I do?



Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 3:14:41 PM)

The cute little college co-ed next door keeps batting her eyelashes and
flirting with Me.  She is awfully tempting in that tight little shirt.
But her big, badass boyfriend glowers whenever I walk past them.
 
What should I do?

Vendaval
 
 
Sandblast the shiny, pretty paint job and replace it with bondo and primer.
That way no one will know or care if it is dirty.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
My car keeps getting dusty overnight. What can I do?



orokana -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 4:24:51 PM)

Ignore the glowering. It probably means he likes you.

I'm nervous about a first meeting with someone I met online. What should I do to prepare myself?



spankmepink11 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 4:41:33 PM)

First...get yourself good and drunk......then meet in the most secluded place you can find...oh yeah...dark too..(mood lighting ya know) 
Be sure and not let anyone know where you are going...
You probably shouldn't bathe for a few days before hand also...
Have fun!!!

oops....forgot to post a question.....
I want to surprise my Dominant Partner for his birthday...what should i do



Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 4:55:38 PM)

quote:

I want to surprise my Dominant Partner for his birthday...what should i do


Hire a pro domme to come and give him his birthday spanking.

A shipper forgot to send the bottom portion of a hutch for my bedroom. I have the top half but it looks stupid without the base. Which relative do I call back on the east coast to have the mover's legs broken?




slavejali -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 5:04:54 PM)

Call that uncle you know whose phone line is being tapped by the police as we speak...you know they will understand...after all, this is not just about furniture...its about family pride!

I've got a torn ligament in my leg, should I go skiing this weekend?




orokana -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 5:15:31 PM)

Definately! Don't worry about any pain. Change into a pair of shorts and it won't be long until it's completely numbed away.

I'm supposed to be on a diet. Should I eat this donut?



Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 5:21:20 PM)

quote:

Should I eat this donut?


Just the hole - no lesbian reference implied.

Mexico just legalized all drugs, including heroin, peyote, cocaine, LSD amphetamines, hallucinogenic mushrooms, and marijuana. Although that's legal with a prescription here in CA too. Which one should I go down and try first?

In case you missed the story: http://www.boston.com/news/world/latinamerica/articles/2006/04/29/drug_legalization_nears_in_mexico/



HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 6:46:07 PM)

Why limit yourself?  Try a little of everything the first day, then try some more.


My brakes are a little squeaky, what should I do?



amativedame -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 7:00:46 PM)

Drive your car more often, they are squeaking because they miss you so much.

That dog tied to a post down the street makes such a fuss whenever I walk by.  He loves to growl at me.  Strange thing though, that post he's tied to seems to be getting taller each day.  What should I do?



spankmepink11 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/3/2006 7:21:17 PM)



quote:

My monthly cycle has a flat ... how do I fix it? 


A can of Fix-A-Flat should do the trick... just insert the tube and press the button.

Talk about bloating



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