RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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sylphgossamer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 9:07:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

I've had a particularly persistent erection for the past 10 hours. I saw on TV that this can be dangerous. What should I do?


This erection just keeps getting worse...or better...not sure...  I really need some good advice on what to do. What if it explodes?


tell the neighbors it's an early cinqo de mayo fireworks and pinata celebration and pick up all the pieces of good stuff you can

now keep in mind that with that 10" 10 hour erection, you will have to notify the entire states of new mexico, arizona, colorado, oklahoma, texas, utah, northern mexico, and parts of california

i am starving on this, my first diet. what should i do so that i feel well fed and happy?




DesertRat -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 9:26:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

I've had a particularly persistent erection for the past 10 hours. I saw on TV that this can be dangerous. What should I do?


This erection just keeps getting worse...or better...not sure...  I really need some good advice on what to do. What if it explodes?


tell the neighbors it's an early cinqo de mayo fireworks and pinata celebration and pick up all the pieces of good stuff you can

i am starving on this, my first diet. what should i do so that i feel well fed and happy?


 
According to a good friend of mine, nothing beats dry Cheerios when it comes to gastronomic satisfaction.

I need to get my girl here, fast!! How can I best accomplish that?




Takethiswaltz -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 9:28:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


Well, first make sure it is out of gas. Open up the gas cap and look in. If it is too dark and you don't see anything use a lighter or matches for light. Then push the car to the gas station, get the gas... be sure to secure the gas can in an upright position in the trunk of the car, push the car back home and put the gas in and start it up.


Too funny.  [:D]

(sorry to cut in.  carry on. )




sylphgossamer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 9:45:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat
quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat
I've had a particularly persistent erection for the past 10 hours. I saw on TV that this can be dangerous. What should I do?
This erection just keeps getting worse...or better...not sure...  I really need some good advice on what to do. What if it explodes?


tell the neighbors it's an early cinqo de mayo fireworks and pinata celebration and pick up all the pieces of good stuff you can

tell the neighbors it's an early cinqo de mayo fireworks and pinata celebration and pick up all the pieces of good stuff you can

now keep in mind that with that 10" 10 hour erection, you will have to notify the entire states of new mexico, arizona, colorado, oklahoma, texas, utah, northern mexico, and parts of california


i am starving on this, my first diet. what should i do so that i feel well fed and happy?


 
According to a good friend of mine, nothing beats dry Cheerios when it comes to gastronomic satisfaction.

I need to get my girl here, fast!! How can I best accomplish that?


don't let that 10" 10-hour erection explode, of course!

and cheerios suck; everyone knows special k has more taste : )

i'm really really hot for my guy, and i'm going nuts not being with him in what seems like years; what can i do?




DesertRat -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 9:58:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

I need to get my girl here, fast!! How can I best accomplish that?


don't let that 10" 10-hour erection explode, of course!

and cheerios suck; everyone knows special k has more taste : )

i'm really really hot for my guy, and i'm going nuts not being with him in what seems like years; what can i do?


 
Have him cough up the dough for a plane ticket, fly there tomorrow, let him fuck your brains out for the whole weekend, then fly the redeye home on Sunday night or very early Monday morning.

hmmm...not sure that's really really bad advice, though.

My cats are staying here in my motel with me while I am on a job. We love being together, but they get kinda bored while I am out on the job. What can they do for entertainment while I am at work?




Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:02:53 PM)

quote:

My cats are staying here in my motel with me while I am on a job. We love being together, but they get kinda bored while I am out on the job. What can they do for entertainment while I am at work?


Let about 4 dozen mice loose in the motel room. That should keep them busy.


Something is wrong with my computer printer. The text when it prints looks fuzzy. What should I do?




sylphgossamer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:07:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat
I need to get my girl here, fast!! How can I best accomplish that?

don't let that 10" 10-hour erection explode, of course!
and cheerios suck; everyone knows special k has more taste : )

i'm really really hot for my guy, and i'm going nuts not being with him in what seems like years; what can i do?


 
Have him cough up the dough for a plane ticket, fly there tomorrow, let him fuck your brains out for the whole weekend, then fly the redeye home on Sunday night or very early Monday morning.

hmmm...not sure that's really really bad advice, though.

My cats are staying here in my motel with me while I am on a job. We love being together, but they get kinda bored while I am out on the job. What can they do for entertainment while I am at work?

(hoping he's calling the airlines as i type...gotta get to that 10" 10-hour and counting erection before it explodes!!!)

they can play with your submissive while you're at work and then disappear when you come home and fuck her brains out for the rest of the day and night

i'm worried that this monster erection will be more than i can handle; what can i do?? it's growing by the minute!




Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:13:10 PM)

quote:

i'm worried that this monster erection will be more than i can handle; what can i do?? it's growing by the minute!


Insert a large propane tank inside of you and keep it there for at least a week.

Something is wrong with my computer printer. The text when it prints looks fuzzy. What should I do?





DesertRat -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:16:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer
 

(hoping he's calling the airlines as i type...gotta get to that 10" 10-hour and counting erection before it explodes!!!)

they can play with your submissive while you're at work and then disappear when you come home and fuck her brains out for the rest of the day and night

i'm worried that this monster erection will be more than i can handle; what can i do?? it's growing by the minute!


 
(Contacting airlines as I speak)
Stop worrying. Consider it an act of supreme submission.

Gauge's mouse idea for the kitties is a damn good one.

On the printer: Install a corrective lens over the printer nozzle assembly. You can get them at any NASA Space Telescope repair shop.

My pants seem too tight lately, but I don't seem to have gained weight. What's going on?




sylphgossamer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:20:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer
 

(hoping he's calling the airlines as i type...gotta get to that 10" 10-hour and counting erection before it explodes!!!)

they can play with your submissive while you're at work and then disappear when you come home and fuck her brains out for the rest of the day and night

i'm worried that this monster erection will be more than i can handle; what can i do?? it's growing by the minute!


 
(Contacting airlines as I speak)
Stop worrying. Consider it an act of supreme submission.

Gauge's mouse idea for the kitties is a damn good one.

On the printer: Install a corrective lens over the printer nozzle assembly. You can get them at any NASA Space Telescope repair shop.

My pants seem too tight lately, but I don't seem to have gained weight. What's going on?


your erection must have been into the miracle grow (or else you've been thinking of me a LOT lately). to fix this problem, go naked. just carry a big stick to beat off all the admirers you will attract.

i can't decide what to eat for my meager dessert. any ideas
?




Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:20:54 PM)

quote:

My pants seem too tight lately, but I don't seem to have gained weight. What's going on?


You are transforming into a space alien. Go to the White House and strip all your clothes off and tell tham to take you to their leader.


It is really warm in my apartment. What can I do?




ElectraGlide -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:28:34 PM)

10 Hour Erection ? What the hell are you doing, freebasing Viagra like Hugh Hefner does to satisfy his stable of blonde beauties.




sylphgossamer -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:30:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElectraGlide

10 Hour Erection ? What the hell are you doing, freebasing Viagra like Hugh Hefner does to satisfy his stable of blonde beauties


he's been talking to his submissive and getting hotter than hell : ) i am the luckiest submissive on the planet!

he NEVER needs viagra; good lord, on that he'd have that 10-hour erection for weeks!!!




DesertRat -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2006 10:31:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

My pants seem too tight lately, but I don't seem to have gained weight. What's going on?


You are transforming into a space alien. Go to the White House and strip all your clothes off and tell tham to take you to their leader.


It is really warm in my apartment. What can I do?


Try stepping away from the computer for a while and sitting in front of the air conditioner.

The plane tickets to fly my girl here on short notice are too damned expensive. It's a ripoff. How can I get a fair shake from the airlines?




FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2006 7:11:29 AM)

Not sure I should say this, ok I will but this answer may not be here in the morning.
Get your girlfriend to board a local plane and say to the passengers ‘Relax everyone we are going to NM USA God willing!’ Ensure she uses the god willing part.

My house needs a good clear out but I can’t be arsed to do it. So what should I do?




mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2006 7:26:36 AM)

Strike anywhere matches can cover a multitude of sins.

I have so many problems that I can't seem to pick one to be advised on, can you help?

Ron




Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2006 9:42:54 AM)

quote:

I have so many problems that I can't seem to pick one to be advised on, can you help?


Tie your hands behind your back, put a noose around your neck, tie the other end of the rope to a high anchor position, stand on a huge block of ice, turn on the heat. Once in place try to untie yourself. You'll realize you really only have one problem and even if you can't untie yourself before the ice melts at the end of the day you won't have any.

I want to sell my company and retire now, but I can't decide whether to open that B&D-B&B beth and I always dreamed of having; or customizing a travel trailer complete with dungeon and traveling from one BDSM event to the other throughout the country.




caitlyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2006 10:52:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
...; or customizing a travel trailer complete with dungeon and traveling from one BDSM event to the other throughout the country.


You could call it, "gain, own, be"
(may have to work for that one)[;)]
 
After getting a speeding ticket the other day (the first in the history of the city of Houston), I'm suddenly attracted to policemen. What should I do to get their attention?





champagnewishes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2006 12:50:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn


After getting a speeding ticket the other day (the first in the history of the city of Houston), I'm suddenly attracted to policemen. What should I do to get their attention?




Rent a shiny red corvette...hop on the toll road...going 80 mph and breeze through the toll booths...shan't take too long before you'll catch a man in uniform...remember to have your handcuffs handy so you can bring him home should he resist.

I have half a birthday cake left and noone to help me eat it...i'm resisting temptations to scarf it cause i hate to waste food...any suggestions?




Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2006 1:03:05 PM)

quote:

I have half a birthday cake left and noone to help me eat it...i'm resisting temptations to scarf it cause i hate to waste food...any suggestions?


I don't understand what the problem is, but I will try to help anyway. Get someone to spraypaint pictures of vegetables on the cake... that way you won't feel guilty for eating it.


I really need to do something about my car, it keeps breaking down. Since it looks like I am getting a new one, what can I do with my old car?




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