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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 11:56:06 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Poison the competition.

How do I get a raise?

(edited in honor of the papacy this easter weekend)

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 4/13/2006 11:58:19 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 11:57:34 AM

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

Speak to the Human Resource manager and threaten him with bodily harm if he doesn't give you a raise. Then send a notarizd letter detailing how you will cause him bodily harm. Always put things in writing so you have something to fall back on.

I was out tilling my garden this AM so I can start spring planting over the weekend. I seem to have a lot of grubs this year. How do I get rid of them?

mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 4/13/2006 11:58:24 AM >

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 12:00:17 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Buy skunks, they love 'em.

How do I repair my sauna?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 12:05:50 PM

Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

Fill it with dry ice

How do i make sure my house stays clean?

< Message edited by MyCaptainsPet -- 4/13/2006 12:06:21 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 12:09:48 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Toss the Captain out on his ear.

How do I get a slave?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 12:12:39 PM

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

shit in one hand and wish in the other... {sorry old but funny}

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 12:29:05 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

How do I get a slave

Well first you need sperm and an egg...

I have a blood stain on my carpet, how do I get rid of it?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 12:49:18 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

cover it with the original body.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 12:50:15 PM

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

dammit, Ron.. that's twice you squeezed me out

** waits for the next question **

mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 4/13/2006 12:52:03 PM >

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 12:53:43 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

Is there any solution that I can use to wash windows other than Windex?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 1:08:29 PM

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

Yes, there is. Half strength betadine/olive oil.

I am going out to dinner with friends tonight, but I am not hungry. What should I do?

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 1:11:17 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Is there any solution that I can use to wash windows other than Windex?

Ammonia mixed with the tears from the horrific odor will do a bang up job!

The big dog from next door keeps leaving "presents" on My front stoop? How should I handle it?

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 1:12:33 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Dress and act in Roman fashion.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 1:48:25 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The big dog from next door keeps leaving "presents" on My front stoop? How should I handle it

You go next door and rub your neighbor's nose in it until the dog stops.

I keep getting calls that hang up when I answer. Should I be concerned?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 1:51:56 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I keep getting calls that hang up when I answer. Should I be concerned?

As soon as you pick up the phone, scream NOOOOOOOOOO.. then hang up before they do.

The gray is really starting to come in. What's the best way to color my hair?

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 4/13/2006 1:55:31 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 1:54:33 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The gray is really starting to come in. What's the best way to color my hair

Crayons.

I keep getting calls that hang up when I answer. Should I be concerned?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 1:56:44 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

The gray is really starting to come in. What's the best way to color my hair

Crayons.

I keep getting calls that hang up when I answer. Should I be concerned?

Damn it, Gauge! Stop that!

I keep getting closed out on the forum when I go to edit a post which has already been answered by Gauge. How can I hide his body without discovery?

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 2:18:05 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

put it on top of the bloodstain.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 2:39:32 PM

Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I keep getting closed out on the forum when I go to edit a post which has already been answered by Gauge. How can I hide his body without discovery?

Ask your friends to help hide his body.

Some of are just bored enough to think about it..

_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/13/2006 2:47:33 PM

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Propping it on top of the big plastic bucket at your local KFC is always a good idea. No one ever goes up there. Make sure it's waving in a friendly fashion at oncoming traffic.

It's very hot out today. How would you recommend cooling off?

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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