RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/6/2006 11:04:16 PM)
quote: I have a Parrott who keeps saying Bush did it, Bush did it. How can I cure him of this problem? Have your parrott go hunting with Dick Cheney. I have had an itch on my foot for a few days now, how can I stop it?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/6/2006 11:52:58 PM)
amputate that sucker!! I need to make a change in my life it is getting too humdrum.. anybody have a good idea what I can do?

rivenmoon -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 6:24:55 AM)
Have your Dom tie you naked to the front door of the blind society. I have no idea whats going on in the world, any advice?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 7:17:59 AM)
quote: I have no idea whats going on in the world, any advice? Run for political office and, if elected, you'll be in the company of other like-minded individuals. Need to get rid of snails from the garden but concerned about dogs eating the poison.

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 9:54:36 AM)
quote: Need to get rid of snails from the garden but concerned about dogs eating the poison. Feed the dogs small amounts of the poison until they build up an immunity. Either that or feed the dogs snails for a while and let them loose in the garden. I have a lot to do today and I am having a hard time getting started, any thoughts?

champagnewishes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 12:50:13 PM)
When i have a lot to do, i like to make lists and put everything into either of two categories...must do and should do. I then take the must do list and divide that into must do now and must do later. I then take the must do now side and contemplate why i thought it so important i do that now. I then challenge myself...what if i were to put the entire list in the trash can...by then, i feel like i have accomplished alot and i take a break :). I want a boob lift but can't afford it...any suggestions?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 12:56:37 PM)
Do it yourself with a curved needle and quilting thread.. make sure to use crazy glue around the thread so the stitches don't break. I have a group of blind stalkers who follow me everywhere (it just started happening yesterday) what can I do to make them less conspicuous?

MasterandCommand -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 1:05:54 PM)
snails are repelled by salt... it will also kill them.

tade -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 5:15:18 PM)
Don't know about less conspicuous, but you should buy them matching jumpsuits and make them play salsa music wherever you go. How do I get my car to stay clean?

UtopianRanger -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 6:39:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tade Don't know about less conspicuous, but you should buy them matching jumpsuits and make them play salsa music wherever you go. How do I get my car to stay clean? You tell a bunch five and six year olds that instead of playing in the backyard, they can go clean your car. I'm going Abalone diving off the coast tomorrow, but I'm a little worried as there have been several ''Great White'' sightings in the last few days. What should I do?

champagnewishes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 8:24:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger I'm going Abalone diving off the coast tomorrow, but I'm a little worried as there have been several ''Great White'' sightings in the last few days. What should I do? Get highly intoxicated...it thins the blood out making you less desirable to the sharks. I'm suppose to have a temp job tomorrow but my g/f flaked and didn't give me the company name or address. Her cell phone is turned off ...what should i do?

slavejali -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 8:49:23 PM)
Well, it coulda have been an interstate job. I'd start by getting a long distance phone book and calling every company in it. Masters dog keeps hiding in the cupboard so I wont put her out in the backyard...Master thinks I'm mistreating her...what should I do? (this is a real scenario lol)

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 9:27:30 PM)
quote: Masters dog keeps hiding in the cupboard so I wont put her out in the backyard...Master thinks I'm mistreating her...what should I do? Boldly walk up to your master and scream in his face... "Well, you don't seem to mind when you are being sadistic toward me!" and then walk away. I keep hearing a tapping noise outside of my window. Whenever I look outside nothing is there. Am I going crazy?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 9:33:08 PM)
Coax her out with treats, leading from the cupboard to the backyard. I am out of sugar for My tea and the store is closed. What should I do? Vendaval quote: ORIGINAL: slavejali Masters dog keeps hiding in the cupboard so I wont put her out in the backyard...Master thinks I'm mistreating her...what should I do? (this is a real scenario lol)

chainedupnick -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 9:43:33 PM)
Start a major boycott for that store until they agree to be open 24 hours... then You won't have to worry about not being able to get sugar for Your tea ;). I need to do my laundry but i don't fee like it.. any ideas on how to make myself more motivated?

quietkitten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/7/2006 9:43:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I keep hearing a tapping noise outside of my window. Whenever I look outside nothing is there. Am I going crazy? No it is just the invisible aliens.. don't worry, they are friendly. The usual alien greeting is running outside stark naked screaming "whoot, whoot, whoot!" at the top of your lungs. I have stopped taking my psych meds and I am afraid it is affecting me..... how do I know for sure??

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/8/2006 1:49:16 PM)
quote: I have stopped taking my psych meds and I am afraid it is affecting me..... how do I know for sure?? Look around. Do you see little pink men dancing a jig? Do you see large green men doing gymnastics? Do you see small, furry animals with large fangs gnawing on your legs? If you do, it isn't affecting you. I don't want the Good News/Bad News thread to die. Is there something I can do to prevent that?

Vendaval -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/8/2006 2:21:43 PM)
Start posting quotes from current politicians. That will enliven the thread. It is a beautiful sunny day and I want to go swimming. But I can't find my bathing suit. What should I do? Vendaval quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I don't want the Good News/Bad News thread to die. Is there something I can do to prevent that?

UtopianRanger -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/8/2006 4:16:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Vendaval Start posting quotes from current politicians. That will enliven the thread. It is a beautiful sunny day and I want to go swimming. But I can't find my bathing suit. What should I do? Vendaval quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I don't want the Good News/Bad News thread to die. Is there something I can do to prevent that? Stop at the nearest toy store and purchase some ''finger paints'' - Then paint yourself a bathing suit. The sink in my bathroom is plugged. I've used draino, bleach, etc, and nothing seems to work. What should I do?

tade -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/8/2006 4:23:08 PM)
Brush your teeth in the toilet. I keep having these funny little weeds growing in my backyard. The kids next door used to come and pick them for free but the cops came and took them away. Now what do I do??

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