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ORIGINAL: RealSub58

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

as do you, though i dont like taking a debate to cmail simply because someone does not like how its turning out.

as I wrote in cmail ~~
"I am going to respond to you here because derailing a forum is not in good taste:"

I stand by my statements in my 2nd post.

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ORIGINAL: girlygurl

~FR~

I don't care for smart asses. There's a fine line IMO as far as being a smart ass and being funny. I guess it's a subjective matter.

An adult acting like a brat is something I dislike very much. If I were the violent type, I'd smack the shit right outta them.

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ORIGINAL: TheLadyIsADomme

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ORIGINAL: ranja

i agree that being a brat or behaving in a bratty sort of way is a form of attention seeking, but so is asking a polite question.

How so, Ranja? Asking a question *to me* does not rise to the level of attention seeking behavior in the same way I define brattiness.

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f the submissive is of a bratty type, or has attention-seeking issues or is prone to disobedience, the dominant has to exhibit whatever tools at their disposal to achieve this goal. If this goal cannot be achieved, then either the dominant was not strong enough, or the submissive is possibly untrainable or doesn't really wish to submit. Certainly a little of both could be the case.
I REALLY do appreciate this comment.  There are times when I have issues here at home that I allow to creep into my mood and Sir can hear it in my voice.  I now think it might be an unconcious attention/sympathy seeking on my part.  But I am not bratty or disrespectful.  If I am even the tiniest bit  disrespectfull, I hear it in his voice.

This is actually the way I was hoping my OP discussion would proceed.

I attempted to discontinue the derailment, but I didn't succeed.......
(For what it's worth, the distractions I've been experiencing over the last two hours while trying to respond have caused me to believe that I don't like this response but don't know how to answer any other way at the moment. Obviously I'm a bad dom.)

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He especially likes seeing how I use the "smartass" side of myself to handle situations with others that are trying to "control" what I do.

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I do not regret using "thick headed" (tis just a way of saying something culturally) altho a better word to have used, as I see now, could have been "strong."

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I really did not appreciate the character bashing as no one on CM except for 2 or 3 (who don't even bother with forums) has ever met me. I do envy the fact that many here have built up relationships and finally met. I hope the continued commentaries are are on topic.

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"thick headed" is a term used for "dense" people... also a way of calling someone "stupid"...

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ORIGINAL: January

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"thick headed" is a term used for "dense" people... also a way of calling someone "stupid"...

I always thought thick-headed meant "stubborn".

January

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ORIGINAL: RealSub58

ladies,

I still use the word queer to mean strange.
Do I mis-speak?

Cultures or those parts of cultures that become a part of us,  in our daily life can mean rather different things to others.  Tis why we define our terms.
Tis why I ask what I do in the OP.
I speak in "jest (which to some is sarcasm or cynicism or whatever else)."  I still use "fortnight."  I still spell "behaviour" and cross my 7's and Z's.
I am not wrong...just different. 

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It is intriguing that the doms who are strong enough to simply walk away and NOT engage in negative attention seeking behavior are labeled "He's not strong enough to tame me."

It's the femsub equivalent of "If she won't fuck me then she's a bitch."

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ORIGINAL: January

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"thick headed" is a term used for "dense" people... also a way of calling someone "stupid"...

I always thought thick-headed meant "stubborn".

January

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I had to take a break and re-read my original post. It did come across a bit holier than thou and that was not my tone while writing it and I never meant to insinuate the huge leap of assumption that a bratty sub is not a good sub.

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I wanted to understand brattiness, smart ass behaviour (even self announcement of such in profile with no clarification) or why one uses sarcasm, esp in these forums ( responding to or listening to sarcasm in person is far different for me than reading it or being perceived as sarcastic), on people they have never met and only think they know who the writer is by their on perceived opinions.
My way is more cynical, based on lack of trust, rather than sarcastic. (I hope I have not pissed off or alienated 99% of you all again)

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I very much appreciated the strength to strength commentaries.
I do not regret using "thick headed" (tis just a way of saying something culturally) altho a better word to have used, as I see now, could have been "strong."

I really did not appreciate the character bashing as no one on CM except for 2 or 3 (who don't even bother with forums) has ever met me. I do envy the fact that many here have built up relationships and finally met. I hope the continued commentaries are are on topic.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The problem does often tend to be that subs polarize things and are scared that if they submit, if they obey, if they really just do what he says ALL the time, that they will lose themselves. THe fact is that the noisy loud attention seeking behavior IS rewarded in the kink scene while the quiet soft background behavior is often ignored/taken for granted. This sets up an environment in which you are either smart/funny/lively/bratty OR you're just a dishrag with no personality.

It also does not help things that there are some obnoxious subs out there who will be rude and interfering and justify it by saying "I'm a brat and my dom likes it so stfu." Whatever good things brats may have is tainted by this.

The reality tends to be that we're all pretty complex- that you can be fully obedient AND sparkling in personality and wit. That many doms are scared shitless of any ongoing responsibility so they encourage subs to act up as an excuse to reaffirm the dynamic.

It really doesn't matter how you work in your relationship as long as you don't make it an issue for others and don't suggest that others aren't sparkling because they choose another path.

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ORIGINAL: RealSub58


I was reading about a totally different subject when a line popped out at me:  There might be two “laws” we can choose to live by ~~ the law which says “I can find freedom and fullness of life if I keep the rules” or the law which says “I can find freedom and fullness of life if I break the rules." (I took the liberty to take a few words out that spoke of the other topic.)

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that is harsh truth that many will deny, but it is truth nonetheless. Jefff's comments about "strength requiring strength" bothered me so much because it is such a popular lifestyle myth that it takes a big bad "dom" to tame the wild, bratty, take-no-guff "sub." when the reality is that a strong Dominant man is not going to entertain such a "sub" at all. and it's been my observation over the years, on and offline, that many of those who are willing to entertain such subs do so because they are insecure in their dominance, they do not fully "own" it, so they need the constant affirmation which comes from the submission of a bratty-type. moreover, they are horrified at the level of responsibility and control required to actually dominate someone, as opposed to simply catering to the whims and desires of someone else. it is also not a sign of strength or dominance, imo, to desire to engage in battles of will and authority, or to feel the need to prove oneself to someone so they will bend to you.