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RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 12:38:01 PM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Aylee,

Ok does lifestyle ring your bell better?
So now we know your a sadist and why your on the path errrrrrrrrrr whatever!

Thanks for your input.

CP

Actually, CP, I understood what you were saying as evidenced by the fact that I answered you.

And yes, I know, the practical answers are never any fun.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 1:05:47 PM

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

CP, I am not just into bondage. Let me try and flesh this out for you....

I am one of those people who was aware of certain feelings/fantasies even as a child. They usually involved some type of bondage, control, spanking, etc. Keep in mind, a child does not understand that these feelings are in any way sexual.

As a precocious reader, I learned during puberty that these "feelings" I had were sexual in nature. So, I pursued these activities starting at age 16 because they felt good.

I am into what I am into, whatever it is on my personal BDSM spectrum simply because it turns me on more than anything else.

For me it is a purely, animalistic, primal sexual urge that is being fulfilled when I engage in these activities. I do not engage in this due to abuse, low self esteem, trying to "find" myself or to please anyone but myself. I am not into this because of "service" simply because in my relationships, we serve each other conceptually.

Does any of this make sense?

What Red said

And in addition - sex without pain (before or during) is just a waste of time for me. I'd rather read the phone book. Sex WITH pain guarantees multiple orgasms. So I do this for sexual pleasure. I also get pleasure from being with a dominant man. So it's all good.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 1:21:44 PM

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I am by nature submissive. I have learned that I prefer service over kink. I have learned that if I allow myself to express my submission with someone who is not dominant I end up being abused. I have chosen *this* path as a way to be myself within safe parameters. (Though I'm not sure if this really answers the question.)

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 1:27:58 PM

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I am walking this path because it fulfillis me. Mentally, emtionally, and sexually. I cannot not be fufilled in a nilla relationshup because i need the dominance it calls to the submissive in me and makes me happier and i am content.
The path has a few bumps but 100% worth it.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to sublizzie)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 2:02:19 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I ask myself that question, quite often. Sometimes, I don't even like what some of this stands for. I've walked away, a couple times, because I felt like there were nothing but vultures and victims everywhere I looked. Of course I don't feel that way now, but it certainly was my opinion a few years back.

Something always draws me back, to this 'path'. Like a homing pigeon. A homing pigeon with a very bad sense of direction. I couldn't tell you why. Especially considering that I have no real interest in a relationship at this time, and don't see that changing in the near future. It just feels like a safe harbor, where I have lots of quirky relatives that I have a 'history' with.

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 2:08:36 PM

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

jeff,

Thanks for your input and the fact that your here is a point in truth; but what draws you to bondage?

CP

It makes the PeePee go BigBig.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 2:21:14 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

I walk my own path. D/s is just a part of who I am.

I'm being myself. Doing what fulfills me and what feels right. Being authentic. With only one life, I'd be foolish to waste this chance.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 2:28:12 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

littlewonder,

path, direction, preference............ of little importance as to what we call it........now does it?

You prefer dominant males..but the thrust iof the question was why.

CP

because I'm physically and mentally attracted to them in the same way I'm attracted to men, I'm attracted to tall men, I'm attracted to tall white men who have a nice body and have the same morals, values and views as myself.

He turns me on.

Why is anyone attracted to whatever they are attracted to?

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 3:32:44 PM

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

heard there were free cookies......there aren't?

laurell3

groans!

CP

I guess that means no cookies?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 3:39:01 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

First let me clarify that by "here" I refer to the path of D/s and bdsm!

I have been on the path for more decades than I care to comment on and certainly longer than many newcomers have been on this earth. While I have taken Emeritus status I still come on daily to keep an eye on the path as a whole, and thus the point of this post.

Over the last 10 years the composition of path walkers has changed so dramatically, that when compared to yesteryear places like CollarMe have become little more than kinky dating sites; albiet with things like posting abilities. The number of teens coming onto CM is astounding to me. All claiming to be submissive etc. So my question or query is this if you have the intestinal fortitude to address it...............Why do you walk the path?

CP

I'm attracted to power and physically, mentally, sexually and emotionally turned on by kink. I grow through discovery and applying what I discover to my life. The combination of all that I am and all that I enjoy is found within the confines of an M/s relationship with a fair bit of BDSM thrown in for good measure. If there was some other way to get all that, I'd probably spend some time at least exploring the options but I have never found anything that works quite so well and is quite so much pure fun as what it is that Himself and I do and how we live and enjoy our life together.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 4:55:44 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

So why is it wrong for someone to know who they are at an early age? I didn't come across the word submissive until I was 48. Think of all the years where things went wrong because I didn't know who I was or how to explain it.

It used to be back when it was illegal to be homosexual for homosexual men to marry anyway. Knowing all the time they hated their life and hated what they were doing to someone they did love, just not sexually. All those destroyed families because it was wrong to say you were gay and bring a same sex date to the prom.

If you can identify what you want when young then not only do you not waste years of your life trying to be someone you aren't, but you also aren't willfully hurting someone else by not telling them what you want and allowing them to decide if they like this or not.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 5:07:53 PM

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Normally I would blame my parents but since your question is simplified to... whatever it is that we do.... ism.

I read a little story about a dominant woman and a new submissive male. During the stretch of their relationship he finally caved in to the amount of love she bestowed whilst being a slave. Tears of joy. There were boundaries broken and limits pushed but finally he was conditioned. For her pleasure.

Two years later being 18 I was not looking for a D/S relationship but she literally took me and owned me. I was her prize and I entertained, worshiped, massaged, and cherished her being. And yes I cried because I loved her so much for being the woman she simply is.

Two and one half years later we split for many reasons, one of them being a family that loathed my existence because I am not chauvinistic or manly enough. She needed help and I had no family where I was at.

I am happy for her because she found someone who gives her a sense of security.

Two and one half years later after unconditioning my self I find that I am still struggling from depression. Although I have been depressed for most of my life so far.

I take my medication and wonder sometimes... who is going to want this crazy ass? I am at a point where I want to live because I know someone out there CAN deal with my genius/insane/obsession laden brain and has a vibrant source of consciousness.

And beat my crazy ass in chess.

Sorry that is just one of my qualifiers.

Why am I here right now?
relaxing from dirt and toil and i swear there is some sort of societal interaction process i must complete.

:P

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 6:59:20 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

Well, CP, I agree with you that places like Collarme are mostly kinky dating sites, and most people are here for the kink. That is unfortunate. From the older masters with whom I have spoken, I know that BDSM now is far different than it used to be, and that being a Master used to mean something more than knowing how to tie fancy knots and feeling entitled to "when I want it, how I want it, and where I want it". I was here to meet a dominant man who knew how to lead, who wanted to lead, who was master of his own life and could provide leadership in a relationship. A man of high integrity. As I learned more about D/s, I began to understand more about how kink may fit into a D/s relationship, and I got more curious. I met my fiance here and we are to be married in the fall. He is all that I hoped for. I found that I needed what a D/s relationship provides, and I did not know this about myself until the summer of 06. I did not know that those feelings I had inside me all these years were submissive feelings.

I know I am in the minority here in relation to what I was seeking, and in my orientation to D/s and BDSM. For me, D/s is primary. The kink is, to use the old adage, the "icing on the cake".

< Message edited by Firebirdseeking -- 7/14/2010 7:11:34 PM >

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 7:11:26 PM

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

i just need it. NEED. IT.

pam

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 7:27:38 PM

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

CP, I am not just into bondage. Let me try and flesh this out for you....

I am one of those people who was aware of certain feelings/fantasies even as a child. They usually involved some type of bondage, control, spanking, etc. Keep in mind, a child does not understand that these feelings are in any way sexual.

As a precocious reader, I learned during puberty that these "feelings" I had were sexual in nature. So, I pursued these activities starting at age 16 because they felt good.

I am into what I am into, whatever it is on my personal BDSM spectrum simply because it turns me on more than anything else.

For me it is a purely, animalistic, primal sexual urge that is being fulfilled when I engage in these activities. I do not engage in this due to abuse, low self esteem, trying to "find" myself or to please anyone but myself. I am not into this because of "service" simply because in my relationships, we serve each other conceptually.

Does any of this make sense?

sexyred,

Sha, a lucid description that I and other readers can wrap their head around.

Many thanks for the further input.

CP

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 7:30:28 PM

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Actually, CP, I understood what you were saying as evidenced by the fact that I answered you.

And yes, I know, the practical answers are never any fun.

Aylee,

Well not so much practical as surface..............but it is what it is!

CP

(in reply to Aylee)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 7:33:18 PM

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

What Red said

And in addition - sex without pain (before or during) is just a waste of time for me. I'd rather read the phone book. Sex WITH pain guarantees multiple orgasms. So I do this for sexual pleasure. I also get pleasure from being with a dominant man. So it's all good.

otherself,

laughs, your just tying unto the credit that red gets for a more in depth reply........... but it works.

CP

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 7:35:12 PM

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I am by nature submissive. I have learned that I prefer service over kink. I have learned that if I allow myself to express my submission with someone who is not dominant I end up being abused. I have chosen *this* path as a way to be myself within safe parameters. (Though I'm not sure if this really answers the question.)

lizzie,

Well in truth it does seems to prompt more questions then answers.......care to try again?

CP

(in reply to sublizzie)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 7:37:50 PM

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I am walking this path because it fulfillis me. Mentally, emtionally, and sexually. I cannot not be fufilled in a nilla relationshup because i need the dominance it calls to the submissive in me and makes me happier and i am content.
The path has a few bumps but 100% worth it.

Matt's littleone

littleone35,

Well let me say then that Matt is a fortunate "D" to have snagged you.
Thanks for your input.

CP

(in reply to littleone35)

RE: Why are you here? - 7/14/2010 7:41:50 PM

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I ask myself that question, quite often. Sometimes, I don't even like what some of this stands for. I've walked away, a couple times, because I felt like there were nothing but vultures and victims everywhere I looked. Of course I don't feel that way now, but it certainly was my opinion a few years back.

Something always draws me back, to this 'path'. Like a homing pigeon. A homing pigeon with a very bad sense of direction. I couldn't tell you why. Especially considering that I have no real interest in a relationship at this time, and don't see that changing in the near future. It just feels like a safe harbor, where I have lots of quirky relatives that I have a 'history' with.

WD,

Now that is candor!...........but I will bet if you really try you can identify the mental issue that brings you back and keeps you here, albeit solo.

Thanks for your thgoughts.

CP

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

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