quote:

I don't think you "get it"

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

Ok I'm here because one day out of boredom I logged on to see what CM was up to and Jeff wouldn't let me leave!

laurell3

Tis a free board in a free site and in a free country so I guess you can put anything you wish in a thread. In my mview however one might spend their time as well as others in a thread to lend a serious contemplation to the thread.

CP

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

I don't think you "get it"

julia,

I guess I don't! But one thing I do get is that the tenor of your posts have changed significantly since your standing by a phone in a small mall.

Shruggs

CP

quote:

Why would you think I need your assistance to seriously contemplate my reasons for coming to CM?

quote:

The problem is that if you are born with it you arestuck with it, so the best thing to do is get on with it and try to enjoy yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I'm still no closer to a definition for vanilla and btw..missionary sex?? Imo I can't think of any position that could possibly be more dominant...a man on top of a woman, bearing all his weight down on her, pushing into her, holding her down, body pinned down. If that's not dominant then I really have no idea what is.

True... I have been in "missionary" that was anything but vanilla... when someone's full weight is on you and it feels like your ribs might burst... can't breath... that is definitely NOT vanilla to me.. it is yummy though

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

I was told to go down this path. Now I've reached a fork in the road. Which way should I go?

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Thanks Win!

quote:

It has been my observation over the years that whether you choose a nilla path as a teen, or if you go kinky as I did, it makes no difference to how many problems you may encounter. Young Nilla's break up. So do young kinksters. Young nillas get broken hearts. So do young kinksters. Young nillas are just as unlikely to have discovered the perfect way to live as do young kinksters. People have problems. People also make problems. Whether they did this nilla or kinky is irrelevant.

quote:

I suppose it'd be all very main stream to others, but floggings, and spankings, and small levels of domination, and as a switch, being and doing the domination, or topping and bottoming would be more accurate.

Darker things, like rape play fantasies, though I have never had a chance to play one out, and don't know if I ever really would care to, consensual sexual violence turns me on, to some degree, sometimes though it can turn me off, if I am not in the right place.

consensual pain to some levels is hot. I am a bit of a budding masochist.

Mind fucks, if in the right situation and mind frame are very very hot.

To some degree, Power dynamics are hot.

Now, 3 somes and orgies and gang bangs and stuff like that are probably all very common to those who're refered to as "Vanilla" But they interest me to some degree.

3 somes have kind of had the been there done that, got the t shirt and don't need another, air about them, since they're very very old hat for me, orgies, not so much, and that's probably the interest in them for me, they're a new and shiny concept. Same with Gang bangs.

The mind boggles at all the possibilities out there hehehe.

quote:

For me, this question is straight-forward. I am "here" because I ran into the concept of M/s in Secondlife and that concept seemed to "stick" for Carol and I. As I continue to explore it, it seems to work more and more. As long as that remains true, then I will remain "here". The moment it's not true, then I suppose I'll be "somewhere else".

Insofar as where "here" is, well... For me it has nothing to do with kink. Carol and I are all about love and D/s. So I find some commonality with other people on collarme and in other areas I find vast gulfs. But I find enough commonality in this community that I find occasional nuggets of really useful wisdom. That's enough reason for me to spend my time here. Whether it's enough reason for someone else to read my posts is, of course, up to them.

Does it need to really be any more complicated than that?

quote:

Why am I here?

It's cheaper than the monkey cages.

quote:

Not submissive, but I'm going to answer anyway. (I think this would have been a great question for anybody.)

I'm not especially sure that what I do is something that I would refer to as a path. If anything, I travel both paths. Both of which make Me happy in different ways. Thankfully, I'm in a position of being able to enjoy both and both bring something significant to Me in My life.

Truthfully, when My pet first introduced Me to this site (please don't confuse the boys, as I'm not referring to clip), I laughed at the very idea. I very specifically laughed at the name of the place. It made Me think very much of what you allude to in your original. That it would be filled with a bunch of people who were more fantasy than reality, where folks were converging because BDSM was somehow now hip and cool. While it's true that there is that element here, those who have never really been involved in any of this away from the screen, there were people who were doing it in their real lives, too. That's probably why I stayed "here". I've been lucky enough to meet quite a few of them over the years.

Like you, CP, I've been doing this for a long time and the truth is, things aren't the way they used to be. It's terribly rare these days for someone to come to their first munch when they haven't been on the internet first. In a sense, that means all that goes with it. With a mixture of ideas that come from both good and bad sources. It's not like they get their first exposure only from people really living this life. They bring with them the nonsense that they've heard, too. When there are fewer people with the physical world part of this, the fantasy of it all overtakes the place.

A few years back, I was at a private event with a number of lifestyle folks who came from several states. I was sitting with a group of people, one of which I very much admired. A much senior leatherman than Me, who, due to not revealing his identity, I'll just call him Sir M. During the afternoon, while we were sitting around eating BBQ, the topic of CM came up. He asked Me why I waste My time here. That it was full of wanna-bes and nothing but a lost cause.

Later that evening, I was given a very humbling honor. I was asked to present a vest. It had belonged to a man who had passed away who had been very active in the community before I had moved there. I had only heard stories about him, but his widow had wanted Me to do this. I said no at first, but she insisted.

After the ceremony was over, Sir M quietly walked up to Me. There were tears in his eyes and his voice was choked up. He looked Me dead in the eye and told Me that maybe he had been wrong. He called Me the next generation of leather that day, and I never forgot it.

I don't tell that story very often, CP, but that's why I'm here.


_____________________________

Proud owner of LPslittleclip.


The big, bad, sadistic Dominant of Oz. (Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain.)

quote:

don't know about "intestinal fortitude" but I will give you as honest an answer as I can at this time.

When I started to explore "this" it had less to do with bdsm and more with D/s...the power/control dynamics within the relationship felt right for me. Most of the time, I would take the s-type position within a relationship. Sometimes that would change, depending on my partner and the energy. I didn't realize that some of the activities I enjoyed prior to exploring the kinkier aspect of these relationships fell under the bdsm umbrella. They were just things that turned me on.

I didn't know what a dom/me or top was not to mention what a sub/bottom was. I just knew that insofar as the activities went, I enjoyed being the reciever and later, the giver...depending on the partner.

I don't follow any "bdsm or D/s path"...I do what feels right for me. For now, that means not being in a relationship...D/s or otherwise. I don't need bdsm or D/s to be part of a relationship dynamic for me...I like it but I don't need it. If and when I decide I'm in the right mindset for a relationship, I'm sure kink and, to some degree, D/s will be part of the dynamic but it won't be because I'm needing to make some grand step on the path of bdsm glory. It will be because it pleases me.

I'm selfish like that.

quote:

*laughs*

Why would you think I need your assistance to seriously contemplate my reasons for coming to CM? The answer I gave really is the reason why I am here at this present time.