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ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

Scratches her head and thinks how rude she is. 

I am wondering why people cannot disagree or express an opinion without going for the jugular.

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I return because my exploration of BDSM played a large part in molding me into the woman I am, and I like her a lot.

In truth, I don't think that I really started living, until I stepped out on my own at 30 and allowed myself the right to explore what I wanted and needed to be happy. Up until that point, everything I had done had been what was expected of me by parents, the church and my husband.

It is kind of a cliche', but I was one of those women who had never had an orgasm until she was 30. Despite having been married and given birth to 4 children.

The day I stumbled upon BDSM, I went in search of how to experience it. Within a week I was at a munch, that night I was at my first playparty. In a month I was incorporating our group as a Non-profit and renting a place for us to play in. That was more than 12 years ago, and as far as I know the group still exists. It felt good to be a part of something, and still feels good to know that I had a hand in its birth and growth.

There is really no way to express exactly how shy I was then. I lacked confidence in myself, but I made up for it with an insatiable desire to learn, and to experience things.

I did more the first year of my exploration of BDSM than I did the entire 30 years of my life prior to that.

Munches, play parties, training under female dominants to learn technique, attending Leather Leadership conferences, being collared, learning to love and share and give as a member of a poly household, meeting authors, attending Lord's of Leather Mardi Gras Balls and attending their party at a Gay Leather bar, organizing events, tesifying in court, and throwing myself into the experience of it all has been an amazing journey for me. It opened up a world of life experiences for me, that I never knew before had existed.

This doesn't even cover the intimate, personal growth where I learned how to stand up for myself. To set limits, and accept that it was ok to demand those limits were respected.

I return, because this is where I grew up. No, not on CM, but on my path of personal growth and fulfillment.

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You need a dominant man to even tell you what views you should even have... does that answer your question?

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ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

Scratches her head and thinks how rude she is. 

I am wondering why people cannot disagree or express an opinion without going for the jugular.

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

It's a nasty habit to criticize something that alters a past order. If it's not kids with pants around their asses it's how the internet has changed bdsm.


Now you have open air forums to discuss the bullshit and the ridiculous protocols that were once part of bdsm culture. You have a place that people can arm themselves with knowledge and not be duped by these fuckwads that claim to have all of the answers or are the path to bdsm enlightenment.

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I find your questions condescending, your attitude towards young people condescending, your position towards how other people choose to dominate condescending...

In essence, I find you condescending.... guess what, no one gives a fuck how long you claim you have been a dominant... in fact, I would wonder, if someone has to try soooo very hard to bolster their credibility at other people's expense, how fucking dominant could they be?


Your post above answers that question

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............I know , how condescending that sounds!

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I find so little to admire about someone who has to tear down others to make themselves appear more important than they really are.... I actually feel sorry for you, because for all your bluster, you really come off as a rather smallish sort of person

julia,

see, now you have wandered from truth and fact! While I may disagree with a person's position in a "passive agressive manner, I take great pains to avoid insult or teardown of anyone........just for the record!

As I may not meet your idea of what a dominant should be, that is not shared by all

CP
CP

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince



Topping,

Indeed you have a fertile mind on "kink!

Thanks for your thoughts.

CP

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CP,

When I first joined CM I was just getting my toes wet and looking for what I considered to be kink. I didn't discover BDSM until I was well into my 40's although the desire manifested itself in my mid to late 30's due to the relationship I was involved in at the time.

What I have discovered for myself is that I need the power exchange dynamic to feel fulfilled and the rest of it is just icing on the cake.

As to WHY I hang around CM now, is for the boards and any insights I can gain that might help me. On occassion I may respond to a post or in a private cmail to the original poster IF I feel I can offer some words of insight into the situation they may have posted about.

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quite simply, and all kidding aside...i am here because i am a submissive and have been forever. that will never change.

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
So my question or query is this if you have the intestinal fortitude to address it...............Why do you walk the path?

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It's who and what I am. I have always known that I needed to submit to a dominant woman. I could not be happy in any other type of relationship.

_

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I spent the first 50 years of my life as an unfulfilled, unhappy 'nilla. Then two sub men I met on a 'nilla dating site told me what submissive is. When I had my first bdsm experience, I felt like I "had come home." I am still "here" because:
(1)I NEED that D/s dynamic and power exchange to be happy in a relationship...it's not a want, it is a need.
(2)I NEED to act on my natural tendency to submit. If I don't, I'm not allowing me to be me & I feel like a fake.
(3)Vanilla relationships are way too boring and blah for me. They are lacking.
(4)Being submissive to my Dominant partner is rewarding in a way that nothing else is or ever has been in my life.
(5)And, lol, I love bondage.

~sweetsub~