RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western Culture

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western Culture

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western Culture

Page: << < prev 5 6 7 [8] 9 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/5/2010 5:26:01 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Fair enough!

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to realwhiteknight)

Profile

Post #: 141

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/5/2010 5:33:37 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

I agree with most the ladies... chivalry is a lost art.

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to crazyml)

Profile

Post #: 142

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/5/2010 6:30:15 AM

MrBukani

Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
Status: offline

Chivalry, honor, respect, sacrifice etc. Are not privy to the past, present or future.
Society might be ever changing but basic emotions like love and hate are pretty consistent.
We do live in the new world with an overload of technology,choice and consumerism.
It is just a fase, mankind needs to go through untill we reach the age of reason.
But theres always been good and bad people.
Its just easier to justify egocentrical behaviour these days.
But in the end most people consider themselves a gentleman or a lady.
Like feminism overstepped itself and reduced the glory of being feminin, but you see these days high heels are hot again.
Its just a fase...

(in reply to divi)

Profile

Post #: 143

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/5/2010 12:38:11 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realwhiteknight

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zevar

quote:

ORIGINAL: realwhiteknight
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a GODDAMN duck.

A chivalrous duck for you! Well, if you use your imagination could be, aye?

Thank you for this moment of delightful humour during my lunchtime hour. The chivalrous Rubber Ducky is the perfect transformation of the imagination. Good work! A hearty laugh was indeed experienced.

Enjoy your day!

(in reply to realwhiteknight)

Profile

Post #: 144

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/5/2010 6:25:16 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

WRONG!!!!!!

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a GODDAMN duck.

Your thought here is probably a result of the postmodern hippie conflation of 'don't judge a book by its cover' with general pc-ness, mistakenly applied to everyone.

For the record, you can totally judge the content of most books by their covers- not judge necessarily but learn of. Not by their their color or size perhaps, but their covers, yes.

And we all do anyway.

EDIT: if you're implying that a charming suave guy is not charming or suave, that is like saying I guy I think is hot, is not hot. If I'm attracted to him, I am. My point still stands.

So forceful aren't ya lol. .It was a cautionary comment about people that live that "pcness" your referring too when going gaga over some pretty internet words.

Ducks and personal perception don't belong together. There's more and less to a duck than what your quacking about.

yes we all do judge by the cover..I've eluded to that many times in my posts but you can't get the whole story from reading a cover..Hell I've even read titles on books that didn't come close to encompassing what the story was about. So yeah you may be able to get an idea but you may be way off base as well..

Suave and debonair is subjective..Your welcome to what you think it is.
Upon close inspection you may just find out what you think is wonderful winds up being bullshit and not duckshit though.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to realwhiteknight)

Profile

Post #: 145

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/5/2010 9:24:05 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sravaka

quote:

In closing I will say that what really matters is how one views their own self, chivalrous or not. The inner strength that is ever present through every tribulation known to humanity is what must remain intact, else internal defeat begins to erode at the fabric that suit’s the internal patterns of self dignity into a whole garment which clothes the soul with beauty and the heart with love. Chivalry in my eyes indeed is rich with deep intense love amidst many wonderful qualities that lend toward a life indicative of immeasurable goodness reflecting shades of beauty one day at a time to those I love and am blessed to know.

Hello Zevar,

Many thanks for your exceedingly kind (dare I say chivalrous?) words.... I was surprised and touched to read them. I'm also very struck by the paragraph quoted above-- in the end, I am not sure that there is much disagreement here at all? My objection, such as it was, was almost entirely to the label... but behavior and convictions such as those you give here are quite impossible to disagree with. It all comes down to love in the end (or, if you prefer, "sharing light," as aldompdx describes it above), whether that love is directed to a soul mate or the most random stranger....

My screen name and I find you quite lovely in return.

--sravaka

Good Evening sravaka:

I have never been referred to as lovely in my entire life. I was rather perplexed at the notion as it does refer to, in my perception when referring to a strong dominant gentleman, that which is related toward qualities which are more inclined toward being over-refined and lacking strength i.e. weak through over-refinement or an absence of strong spirited qualities. When used toward a lady namely the term is indicative of her internal and external beauty. Yes, subjective perception I am aware.

I have been referred to as handsome on many occasions over the years of my life. The term lovely, when studied for its vernacular usage, indeed is a synonymous term for handsome, among other terminology.

Thank you for your much appreciated contribution to this thread. I enjoyed reading your entries AND more than likely shall continue. I spare any further words as I have said plenty or rather far too much. I mean you no disrespect toward the dignity due you, without reserve undoubtedly!

Yes, a chivalrous Gaelic Irish gentlman master I shall ever be in word, action and deed.

Thank You, kind lady!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 8/5/2010 9:32:05 PM >

(in reply to sravaka)

Profile

Post #: 146

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/6/2010 12:51:33 AM

sravaka

Posts: 314
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I have never been referred to as lovely in my entire life.

Then perhaps it was overdue? I am pleased to have been the first.

Seriously-- my apologies, Zevar. I meant no harm with my "lovely." I'd have done better to say that I find the sentiments you express, and what I perceive of your mind and heart in them, to be lovely. And refreshing, and many other things. (I am not after all in a position to use strange words to compliment you on your physical appearance.... and did not in the least mean to imply anything to do with absence of strength. That would be quite contrary to the impression I have formed of you.)

An online dictionary gives me this among other definitions: "having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye." That evokes what I meant fairly well.

I sincerely hope I did not offend, and apologize if I did.

All best wishes to you!

--sravaka

< Message edited by sravaka -- 8/6/2010 12:52:47 AM >

_____________________________

Miseries hold me fixed, and I would gladly cut these roots to become a floating plant. I would yield myself up utterly, if the inviting stream could be relied upon. --Ono no Komachi

(in reply to Zevar)

Profile

Post #: 147

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/6/2010 10:24:49 AM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sravaka

quote:

I have never been referred to as lovely in my entire life.

Then perhaps it was overdue? I am pleased to have been the first.

Seriously-- my apologies, Zevar. I meant no harm with my "lovely." I'd have done better to say that I find the sentiments you express, and what I perceive of your mind and heart in them, to be lovely. And refreshing, and many other things. (I am not after all in a position to use strange words to compliment you on your physical appearance.... and did not in the least mean to imply anything to do with absence of strength. That would be quite contrary to the impression I have formed of you.)

An online dictionary gives me this among other definitions: "having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye." That evokes what I meant fairly well.

I sincerely hope I did not offend, and apologize if I did.

All best wishes to you!

--sravaka

Greetings sravka:

I have a few minutes left until I must get myself geared up to step into the noise of this City that bustles 24/7-365. Such are cities, aye? I will say a few things before I must go as follows:

I read your words in reply to my entry for you. Be assured I am not insulted. I was simply perplexed as I had not ever been referred to as lovely. The definition you shared is one I was unaware of. Thank you that contribution. Indeed it does shift thought when considering the term in such a way. I am always willing to consider thoughts of others.

In closing do know that there are only impressions of virtuousness regarding what has been offered by the both of us in this thread. I am not at all offended. Instead I am delighted to have exchanged thoughts with you herein this thread. Clearly you do appear to be not only an intelligent lady yet delightfully kind, among other admirable qualities I am sure, aye!

Now I will get my chivalrous self forging forth with the conducting my most wonderful day.

Enjoy your day AND as always take GOOD care of you, aye kind lady!

(in reply to sravaka)

Profile

Post #: 148

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/6/2010 10:02:23 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

Greetings All:

In considering the entirety of this thread it is evident that a discussion resulted that is most appreciated. I thank each and everyone that contributed to this thread. While I did not reply to everyone that noted an entry to myself, do know that I do value the right for everyone to speak their mind in the way that they deem suitable.

From my individual perspective the conversation was one that generated thoughts to be considered and others to not. It seems this is the crux of all communication. Listening allows to hear what others are saying which can lead to a better understanding of different perspectives and opinions. Listening can also lend toward affirming what one truly believes and lives in their daily life.

Finally, while chivalry is viewed differently and similarly for some indeed this thread did assist in reinforcing what is known to be true for myself. I only hope this was true for others as well. In some small way I hope that this thread served to be informative at best.

In closing, I sincerely hope that my thoughts are viewed in the spirit in which I openly present them.

Take good care!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 8/6/2010 10:04:14 PM >

(in reply to Zevar)

Profile

Post #: 149

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/9/2010 11:57:34 PM

pdv99

Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

In the 1980's Gordon Gecko taught us "Greed is Good" and American capitalism hammered the message home by rewarding bankers and celebrities with astronomical salaries whilst laying off much of the workforce. Selfishness paid big dividends.

Margaret Thatcher told us ""There is no such thing as Society, only individuals". We have reared a Me generation who are taught all about their rights, and too little about their responsibilities to others.

Can anyone be surprised that chivalrous behaviour is rarer than it used to be?

Meanwhile so many girls will protest they miss chivalry - but treat the chivalrous male as a "wimp" and disappear at the end of the evening with the mouthy "macho" male who displays arrogance and aggression, because they mistake it for "alpha" behaviour.

(in reply to realwhiteknight)

Profile

Post #: 150

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/10/2010 12:59:31 AM

Jaybeee

Posts: 532
Joined: 2/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pdv99

In the 1980's Gordon Gecko taught us "Greed is Good" and American capitalism hammered the message home by rewarding bankers and celebrities with astronomical salaries whilst laying off much of the workforce. Selfishness paid big dividends.

Margaret Thatcher told us ""There is no such thing as Society, only individuals". We have reared a Me generation who are taught all about their rights, and too little about their responsibilities to others.

Can anyone be surprised that chivalrous behaviour is rarer than it used to be?

Meanwhile so many girls will protest they miss chivalry - but treat the chivalrous male as a "wimp" and disappear at the end of the evening with the mouthy "macho" male who displays arrogance and aggression, because they mistake it for "alpha" behaviour.

They disappear with him because they are configured to "hunt the hunter", as I put it. By age 20 most girls have a fairly well developed sense of which guys possess that rare combination of extroversion and tenaciousness. Her inner dialogue is that, if he is THAT dogged and inventive in his pursuit of her, he is also going to be a successful provider in an economic system where both traits are well recompensed. Of course, they're largely correct, and they do provide well - for the first few years of the marriage, ie until either the men prove themselves infidels, or until the girls are entitled to 50% of their assets.

Sadly, women worthy of chivalry are as rare as we, the minority of men who wish to display it. But they DO exist; personally, I look forward to the day when I can move from the group consisting of we 10% of young men who wish it were worth our while to practice chivalry, to that 5% who are subjected daily to unladylike behaviour, yet give up their seats to a lady anyway, quite undaunted. The fact that it is wasted on most women doesn't make it easy, though. Still, I make it a point to compliment ladylike behaviour whenever I see it with a "Madam, that is quite gracious of you!".

I know how nice that recognition feels.

(in reply to pdv99)

Profile

Post #: 151

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/11/2010 3:09:00 PM

twistedbeing

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/10/2010
From: Buffalo, New York
Status: offline

I see chivalry as a ploy to attract women. Why not treat each person as a person regardless of sex, religion, caste, lifestyle, personal choice and the like. This could include methods that are used in chivalry, Ex, "Madam" *holding open a door*. This is just common kindness imo.

(in reply to laurell3)

Profile

Post #: 152

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/12/2010 8:01:45 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

Greetings pdv99, Jaybeee & twisted being:

Forgive my delay in acknowledging your entries. I for one do believe there remains great value for Chivalry in my life and among society. However some will disagree or argue to denounce anything related to what might be perceived as Chivalrous.

Nonetheless, each perspective lends to the whole summation as does every individual among society contribute to the whole sum of a social construct in western society. Chivalry remains alive and thriving among many in society of today. I being one such chivalrous gentleman. The bottom line, to each their own.

I want to thank each of you for your personal viewpoint regarding Chivalry. While there are different opinions regarding Chivalry still in all each opinion is of value regardless of differences or disagreement, aye!

Take good care of you!

(in reply to Zevar)

Profile

Post #: 153

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/14/2010 12:17:13 AM

SBJames1

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline

So you had a few shots of Chivas Regal Blended Scotch Whisky, aye? Say what? I only posted 3 questions not 1-4.

Laughing so had I can't type...

(in reply to Zevar)

Profile

Post #: 154

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/14/2010 1:12:59 AM

SBJames1

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline

Dang. I even read the bit about using the quote feature, and apparently I still don't have it correct.

(in reply to SBJames1)

Profile

Post #: 155

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/14/2010 1:24:12 AM

SBJames1

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline

There has been much debate here over the definitions of chivalry and related ideas. I wonder if we're all looking for the practice of ethical behavior, both within the BDSM community, and without.

I don't claim to be a role model for ethics, etiquette, chivalry, etc. But I can say that I make a conscious effort to do the best I can.

I practice these things, not only for what they do to others, but for what they do for me.

Thanks to all for a great discussion.

(in reply to Zevar)

Profile

Post #: 156

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/14/2010 2:41:31 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

So you had a few shots of Chivas Regal Blended Scotch Whisky, aye? Say what? I only posted 3 questions not 1-4.

Laughing so had I can't type...

quote:

There has been much debate here over the definitions of chivalry and related ideas. I wonder if we're all looking for the practice of ethical behavior, both within the BDSM community, and without.

I don't claim to be a role model for ethics, etiquette, chivalry, etc. But I can say that I make a conscious effort to do the best I can.

I practice these things, not only for what they do to others, but for what they do for me.

Thanks to all for a great discussion.

Greetings SBJames1:

It appears you were humoured by an entry of mine early on in this thread. Humour is a must in life indeed. Regarding your subsequent comments; each perspective that has been presented in this thread indeed are worthwhile toward the summation of this thread to some degree. Each contribution brings a different way of considering the subject of Chivalry. There is something to be noted about listening to an alternate perspective regardless of the subject matter. Thank you for your entries.

Take care!

(in reply to SBJames1)

Profile

Post #: 157

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/14/2010 8:48:12 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

I don't claim to be a role model for ethics, etiquette, chivalry, etc. But I can say that I make a conscious effort to do the best I can.

We do what we know until we know better, and then we do better...

I am glad to see a new voice on the forums

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SBJames1)

Profile

Post #: 158

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/15/2010 12:29:36 AM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

For those who care to explore---http://chivalrytoday.com/what-chivalry/

(in reply to Zevar)

Profile

Post #: 159

RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western ... - 8/15/2010 10:14:21 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: divi
I agree with most the ladies... chivalry is a lost art.

Well, for what it's worth, it apparently isn't totally lost. Granted, these are going to be some very biased opinions, but is there any other kind when it comes to a discussion like this? I asked both Carol and my online slave whether they would say I was "chivalrous" and both thought a moment and said yes. So at least in 2 women's opinions, at least one male qualifies.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to divi)

Profile

Post #: 160