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RE: Tributes... - 4/22/2006 11:32:21 AM

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Glad you assume I have no experience. If you had taken 30 seconds to read my profile, as I did yours, you would see I say I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE.

Nothing I have said has to do with experience. They are personal opinions about economics, where I do have experience, and things you've said that contradict themselves.

Glad you have the ...... ummm..... huevos.... to attack a poor, penniless, pathetic, innocent, inexperienced little slave, who only wanted to make his mark in the big boy world.

Feel free to message me on the other side. I always love a good laugh!

Yours,

benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

RE: Tributes... - 4/22/2006 12:05:53 PM

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

Ok, I just can't help myself. As I'm sitting here reading this thread, I'm being stood up by a submissive who was supposed to be here to perform some physical labor for me. Although I recently became a Pro Domme, I am occassionally approached by a submissve who claims he is dying to serve me, but cannot afford it. I am ALWAYS willing to offer the option of work for sessions. I have yard work that needs tending (I pay someone for this) and right now I am in the middle of stripping some wallpaper and painting. This means that literally ANYONE out there can afford me if they're just willing to put in a little time. Who stands me up every single time? Not the submissives who give tribute. It's the ones I offer to session with in exchange for physical labor - EVERY TIME. There goes your theory that only the ones with bottomless wallets get the Domme.
Mistress Scarlet

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

RE: Tributes... - 4/22/2006 3:43:35 PM

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline

Hell.
Why do places like this continue the constant battle between one way and another, ALWAYS down on the Woman who is choosing or quite capable of receiving whatever works for her , with no shades of grey, the 'gift' of submission will not keep the lights on in the Dungeon.

I find these arguments just expose the small minds, lack of experience, and closed attitudes.
There is always a glowering difference in the 'marriage' type relationship seekers and the ones who simply satisfy their D/s, Fetish, etc in a relationship that suits them, with someone who wants the same.

Ebony Fetsh Goddess comes along to explain the shades of grey, and an attitude some may have to their way of life, and thats cut down in flames ?
I find it amusing that when I say I am a Lifestyle Professional.. suddenly some cant cope, the definition dosent fit for them. EFGoddess summed a few aspects up for me really well, and thats because she has the same situation, not 'Pro' but living a lifestyle.
Money.. sometimes.
Equipment.. sometimes.
Gifts...sometimes.
Fresh air... sometimes.

Ive even seen the hooker aspect thrown in on this, and so all I see is the same old same old.
Let some light in with some new thoughts on how others do life differently, and many are very happy with that.
The mind is like a parachute, works best when open.
ProDom bashing...*Yawn*

_____________________________

Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
www.mistressdominiquenz.com
The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Tributes... - 4/22/2006 4:46:30 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Lets also express another factor in Prodoming if we can...Something so many here forget to mention...Men or slaves or subs blah . blah . blah don't always want to create a lasting relationship. Some really do not care about anything except getting what they seek. We know ( in fact you know probably) some men do not read profiles , they look at the pictures . So if your dealing with men who just want an hour here or there and really can't commmit to a long term relationship as someone stated before , then what is wrong if a Mistress caters to these kind of slaves .That she expects a tribute or gift for her time and investment .Her experiences are what a sub is asking to use. So because money is involved somehow it makes it worst. For me , my view is many slaves .subs really are not getting everything they could with tribute. My opionion is if you can't touch my mind, then neither of us will get the most out of time..

(in reply to MsDominiquenz)

RE: Tributes... - 4/22/2006 5:14:45 PM

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline

I agree openminded.. it IS all about the meeting of minds, and there can not be a price put on that.

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Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
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The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Tributes... - 4/22/2006 5:34:01 PM

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: obedienz

I've been off the scene for a while but one thing that I never used to see (and now seems to be quite prevalent) is a request for a tribute. This makes me rather uncomfortable (call me old-fashioned!) but I'm wondering if this practise is now an accepted part of the scene - can anyone help?

Hi there.
The following is simply my opinion. People are so complex and human relationships MUST come in a plethora of potentials that I do not assume what I want or believe to always the the ONLY truth.

"Tribute" can mean many things. When I think of what it means to me, I think of an offering - as what one would provide to a Goddess as an act of devotion/sacrifice in Her temple. It may take form in a myriad of ways. In various cultures a devotee would attend a temple and sacrifice an animal from their flock, for instance. Some might offer precious herbs and spices. Others would offer up precious textiles. The Three Wise Men offered Jesus frankincense, myrrh and gold.
Devotees of lesser means would offer up service at a temple - important assistance in the operations of the temple.

What is important to note is that sincere devotees would offer up something precious - something of value. An act of devotion to their Goddess of choice.

Now, I am not so naive as to not understand that many women professing to be Dommes demand tribute as an underhanded way of demanding payment for service. Heck, I've even heard women bragging about it. Seriously. They naively see "tribute" as a way of easing their financial woes - ironic that someone seeking to control others is not in control of her own finances/life. Also ironic that there really isn't any money in it. :)

That said, there are many men out there professing to be submissives/slaves in search of their "Goddess", who offer NOTHING yet they want a stunningly gorgeous Domina who possesses/shares one or more of the following:
an extensive (read EXPENSIVE) fetish wardrobe
a fully equipped BDSM play space
all the time in the world to devote her attention to her "sub"
the skills to partake in a myriad of complex edge-play activities

Many of these men expect to have their Domme spend a lot of time and expend a lot of physical energy on intricate bondage (any idea how much time and sweat it takes for a complex Shibari scene?) and discipline, yet the literally offer nothing in return. No service, no nada. Heck, many of these guys won't even offer a Lady a drink at a munch yet they'll happily monopolize her time.

There are Dommes who mean "Tribute" in the sense of an offering - a gift or service. Something precious (time is precious). Think of what the word "Goddess" means. So many men have devalued the word to mean "My very own Fetish Barbie".

No delusions. We all have desires and needs, no matter which role we're in - Domme or sub. A sub has every right to hold off for the Domme who's needs and desires are sympatico with his own so that he does get what he wants and needs. This is not at all a bad, unfair or unrealistic. There must, however, be an exchange - not necessarily materially speaking, but at least energetically.

Tribute matters. Unfortunately so many men out there professing to be subs/slaves as so damned selfish that many Dommes must include "tribute" as something they want/need to at the bery least limit - because it will not end - approaches from selfish "do-me subs". Seriously.

Also, believe it or not, many men seeking "slavery" actually expect to be financially supported. They dream of the 24/7 relationship that means they do not go to work, but rather spend all day at home in intricate bondage, providing some manner of service, but the fantasy does not include them financially CONTRIBUTING to the household - not even their share of rent or food expenses.
In the above fantasy, Fetish Barbie is also independantly wealthy. Nice.

A woman wishing to feel like a Goddess wants to be pampered and adored - not used. Gifts and service are not untoward.
Want me to play with you in that $2000 leather gown? Buy it for me.
Want me to have a space that is grand and fully equipped for suspension and more? Help me out with the rent.
Want to display me as a trophy at an expensive restaurant? Going "Dutch" is not an option.
Want to put a smile on my face? My favourite flowers handed to me on bended knee is a nice start.

Again, only my opinion.

(in reply to obedienz)

RE: Tributes... - 4/22/2006 8:47:25 PM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

MstrssScarlet:
if you read EVERY thread .. then you'd have seen clearly where i said that being useful in ANY manner matters to use.. i didn't say anything about bottomless wallets.

sorry, those words were foisted in my mouth by a random slave. i can only type what i say.. i have NO control over the twilight zone or place where lost socks go in the dryer between what i typed and how people view said words on their screen.

so perhaps you've misconstrued what i said. i said many times MANY times that i have broke slaves, i have blue collar boys and yes.. most of my slaves are in sr. exec positions or white collar. i never said their money replaces their submission.. i said it AUGMENTS it.. difference.

i don't value someone's wallet more than their bank account. i stated several times that they are here to contribute WHATEVER experiences they can.. be that buying toys.. offering legal services if they're a lawyer (ie.. incorporation, real estate law for investments or whatever.. webskills if they are a designer).. the list goes on and on.

i have slaves that their way to contribute to my house is doing chores, or watching my pets when i travel. i think you missed something there with all due respect.

MsDominiquenz:

good to see we're on the same page. the difference between lifestyle dommes whom are accustomed to a certain level and calibre of attention/care/contribution and someone that demands things BEFORE THEY EVEN HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU--- are two different balls of fur. that's not right to demand things from anyone.. they should wnat to do it on their own. if someone doesn't then either i move on or evaluate how they can be useful to me (in addition to their flesh).. if i can pick someone that can do chores, work on cares, walk dogs, take care of pet rats, procure toys/equipment for us ETC then i'm gonna do it.

sometimes i have diarrhea..sometimes i shit a turd.. at the end of the day.. it's ALL shit.

just tlike some of the small minded and monochromatic views of things. like you said.. it's all a shade of grey.. nothing is black or white but we as humans feel more comfortable reducing things/situations into their OWN itty bitty, eensie weensie.. baggage handling view of what they have experience and translate that into the way ALL of us should live.. it's hard to seperate the forest for the trees- especially when some are so close minded.

tsk tsk tsk. the mind is like an umbrella.. it doesnt work lest you open it.

i think some of the males responding to this thread would be all wet.

openmindedslave:

quote:

Lets also express another factor in Prodoming if we can...Something so many here forget to mention...Men or slaves or subs blah . blah . blah don't always want to create a lasting relationship. Some really do not care about anything except getting what they seek. We know ( in fact you know probably) some men do not read profiles , they look at the pictures . So if your dealing with men who just want an hour here or there and really can't commmit to a long term relationship as someone stated before , then what is wrong if a Mistress caters to these kind of slaves .That she expects a tribute or gift for her time and investment .Her experiences are what a sub is asking to use. So because money is involved somehow it makes it worst. For me , my view is many slaves .subs really are not getting everything they could with tribute. My opionion is if you can't touch my mind, then neither of us will get the most out of time..

that's what i mean when i say if someone isn't capable of living up to what i expect:. full micromanagement control (yes that means their diet, weight, travel, free time away from work, financial scrutiny [ie monitoring their spending/saving habits], full time chastity, contribution to our fetishes and toy collections, regularly scheduled travel, no sex, no contact with any other females other than me..i could go on and on. if someone is NOT willing to submit to that.. but he obviously has super intense rubber fetish scenarios.. then by all means he may session with me.

that doesn't negate the fact that i have personal slaves that tend to my life day to day. like i said.. i'd rather someone approaches me being REAL and stating.. look.. i can't submit to what you require for XYZ reason... but next time you're in norway.. or germany.. or austria.. may i meet with you to experience a session.. and we are compatible.. YES i'm going to session with him because it's totally NO strings attached.. that's rare. but do i NEED their tribute to live or maintain my upkeep?..naah.. not really.. sorry..

i don't, but does it compensate me for my time rather than leaving me feeling pissed off and empty because i trained someone monthly for 5 months just to later find out he's married and can't serve in the capacity i expect... fucking right it makes it better if they admit they aren't willing to put in the full lifestyle slavery work but still want the experience of serving an Ebony Rubber Goddess.

MarinaBlack:

i wholeheartedly concur with everything in your post..

Benji:

quote:

Glad you assume I have no experience. If you had taken 30 seconds to read my profile, as I did yours, you would see I say I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE.

Nothing I have said has to do with experience. They are personal opinions about economics, where I do have experience, and things you've said that contradict themselves.

Glad you have the ...... ummm..... huevos.... to attack a poor, penniless, pathetic, innocent, inexperienced little slave, who only wanted to make his mark in the big boy world.

Feel free to message me on the other side. I always love a good laugh!

Yours,

benji

like i said.. hit me up when you've actually logged offline and served for real. OBVIOUSLY brainchild i've read your profile lest i wouldn't have been aware of the fact you're 22. duh..

with that being said.. even BEFORE i read your profile i assumed you had no REAL experience. without REAL lifetime servitude/ 24/7 TPE contractual and chastitized servitude. then you have NO clue what i'm speaking about.. and that's ok we ALL start out as a novice. no one was born with 14 years bdsm experience under their belt.

the difference is.. the ones whom have no experience should quiet their mouth and observe to learn... rather than interjecting inconsequential randomness. nothing is wrong with being novice.. you should just realize that you lack practical experience in this lifestyle. and anything in this lifestyle cannot be correlated to things you experience in the vanilla world. a hairbrush in the vanilla world is just that - a hairbrush.. a hairbrush in BDSM can be used to kick your ass. you can't take your vanilla experiences with economic as unilaterally comparable to anything apparent in BDSM.

and darling..lol i'd rather slit my wrists than message you...you can laugh all you want, but at the end of the day dear.. you're still an inexperienced novice whom shall probably remain that way for a while wondering WHY you're a novice.

nothing personal. you simply aren't in my league. i go for boys that have the REAL time experience to back up their assertions. so worry not about me contacting you.

oops... i just vomited into my mouth a little

thank you and try the veal.

*edited to add*

< Message edited by EbonyFtshGoddess -- 4/22/2006 9:04:04 PM >

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 3:52:01 PM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

obedienz, trust your instincts, if it doesn't feel right for you don't go there. London has an active "scene" get out and meet people at munches and events and it shouldn't be a problem.

Good luck,

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to obedienz)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 4:30:56 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Another observation...and maybe it has gone on too long by now, but ....I have a question for those who collect a tribute or gift from admiring fans...Have you ever had a sub/slave that started off with a tribute for your time and over the months or years, you actually either because of a connection that formed or for some other reason just stopped requiring a tribute? Or at the very least, not because they asked , but you actually reduced their gift to you due to their attention to you?

(in reply to Oumae)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 5:44:24 PM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

openmindedslave:

quote:

Another observation...and maybe it has gone on too long by now, but ....I have a question for those who collect a tribute or gift from admiring fans...Have you ever had a sub/slave that started off with a tribute for your time and over the months or years, you actually either because of a connection that formed or for some other reason just stopped requiring a tribute? Or at the very least, not because they asked , but you actually reduced their gift to you due to their attention to you?

So far the only tributed sessions i've ever given have been when i'm abroad. i have had tributed sessions in germany with males, then we've mutually decided that he wanted to serve (or was capable of serving) in a lifestyle capacity. at that point it's not like an XYZ amount of tribute hourly or something. it becomes like with the rest of my lifestyle slaves- they contrbute because they want to. or they continue gifting what they want to. i've had males i've scened with in germany that only see me when i'm there because they can't travel. i still receive gifts from them even when i'm not there. also, when we do meet they will have gifts for me in addition to whatever monetary tribute. most of the times when i scene i prefer my tribute to be in the form of rubber- not cash.

a tribute of something that contributes to my fetish means more than receiving cash for a session because i'm going to turn around and buy rubber anyway so i prefer gifts as tribute rather than cash. i've even have slaves tribute me thousands of airmiles so i can travel. if there is a connection (which happens often) with a pro domme and a client i know that each of my pro domme friends have selected quality males that want a deeper sense of ownership.

your best bet to find this sort of situation would tend to happen with a woman that is semi pro (owning both lifestyle slaves and seeing pro clients at the same time).. i also know a few women whom are strictly pro dommes. they don't have personal slaves and it's their sole source of income

the strictly pro dommes i know (those whom do not have nor want lifestyle slaves) tend to be "whip kittens" these are the type of pro dominas that often comes to mind negatively when people think of pro dommes. so odds are they would discourage turning you into a lifestyle slave because that would in effect cease your relied upon tribute or at least make it much more sporadic. a semi pro domme maintains both and will often collar and exceptional client.

in my experience from having a lot of personal friends in this scene whome are pro, lifestyle and semi pro.. the vast majority of pro dommes i know are semi-pro.

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 6:34:27 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Ok just another random thought as I read this, women and men have been exchanging sex for favorers since the dawn of time. (by sex I am lumping in Dominance even if it is non-sexual because in my mind it is a sexual proclivity). Blame it on supply and demand, if women were the horndogs men are , and men were very selective about who they chose to penetrate, it would be opposite, women would be gifting, conjoling, whining, and begging.

If tribute is a prerequisite on some peoples profile, then that to me that is no different then some one saying they like shitting in shoes, simply another kink or fetish that I personally dont resonate with so I move on....

Readers digest version of my point: Accept it and move on.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 7:28:53 PM

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline

Hi openminded..
Over the years I have had many long-term ..part-time..subpets/friends, and all of these were men who visited me for the first time with tribute. There seems to be a good precident set this way, because I find other ways of meeting subs is all about their dangly bit..willy wavers who seem to think Im impressed by their egotistical machoness, and I might be a good hook up for some kinky fun !!! Ooooooh..swoon !!
As time went on, yes I enjoyed them and many adventures were had, but somehow tributes of many types just seemed to keep coming, sometimes more then expected or required.
Its a thing subs do, they enjoy contributing in many ways to my lifestyle, and I guess they know that if they didnt, it wouldnt be there for them.
I have had towers of chocolates, walls of wine, drawers of wonderful things, hand made toys, special things bought, trips,service and ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and money.
I have also spent time with subs who could only show respect with something like a delicious chocky cake for coffee time, and all of them have been very special.

< Message edited by MsDominiquenz -- 4/23/2006 7:30:52 PM >

_____________________________

Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
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(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 7:50:04 PM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

crouchingtigress

quote:

If tribute is a prerequisite on some peoples profile, then that to me that is no different then some one saying they like shitting in shoes, simply another kink or fetish that I personally dont resonate with so I move on....

haha..shoe shitters..

i find it funny how some of the subs on the other "sex, submission.. chastity" thread i started state how they would NOT serve a mistress if sex isn't involved..

one was saying how it would make him bitter and pissed off and grouchy. hmm.. how is that any different than a mistress expecting gifting or cash tribute or whatever from a slave? everyone comes into a BDSM relationship with expectations. so they can expect sex, but a domme can't expect a flogger? (and i dont mean sex in exchange FOR a flogger..you get my drift).. you think a domme wouldn't feel bitter and pissed off and grouchy if she doesn't get what SHE wants out of an interaction?

that's called wanting your cake and being able to eat it too. why is it ok for a slave to expect something as intimate as sex, but ask the fucker to cough up a flogger and suddenly she's a prostitute..

if a male sub can stipulate that he expects sex or this or that.. why is it wrong for a domme to stipulate what she wants? and he can move on if he doesnt like it-vice versa applies as well.

that's a double standard if i've ever seen one.

some feel tributing trivializes or demeans/cheapens their servitude for them..

funny.. i feel them expecting to get a bdsm fuck cheapens and demeans and trivializes the true nature of bdsm. how is that any different?

aaah.. potato .. po-tah-toe.. it's 6 of this and half a dozen of that.

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 8:15:48 PM

darq

Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline

I'm not a Domme ...

However, I am opinionated. :)

Frankly, if a submissive expects to get certain things done to them, I don't think its unreasonable to expect that submissive to provide their own toys.

I wouldn't want a Dom to use vibs, floggers, etc on me that he'd used on other girls ... I'll bring my own, thank you very much.

With that in mind, however, I'm not going to go out and buy one for him as a tribute ...

He may never use it on me ... How does that benefit me?

It doesnt ...

It doesnt make sense, frankly.

If I wanted to do something to show my Dom how I feel about them, that I think he's awesome and worthy of a tribute, I'm going to be a bit more creative than to buy him a toy or hand him some cash. I'll use my wee lil subbie brain and pay attention to the things he gets pleasure out of (besides me, of course) and put effort into actually SHOWING him how I feel. Thats what a tribute means to me ... The submissive putting forth the effort to show the dominant how wonderful they (the dominant) are ...

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 9:27:04 PM

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Another observation...and maybe it has gone on too long by now, but ....I have a question for those who collect a tribute or gift from admiring fans...Have you ever had a sub/slave that started off with a tribute for your time and over the months or years, you actually either because of a connection that formed or for some other reason just stopped requiring a tribute? Or at the very least, not because they asked , but you actually reduced their gift to you due to their attention to you?

You didn't define "tribute".
According to what I previously posted, I ALWAYS require tribute. There MUST be an exchange. I have a strong sense of worth - as I should - and give nothing for nothing.
I want gifts and service from my personal subs. A sub - no matter how charming the qualities he may possess - will lose my interest if he stops giving me something I can use. There are many charming gentlemen out there desirous of my attention. Those who can capture and hold my attention maintain their charm, are useful and generous. I am not unfair in my demads for generousity. Once one has developed a relationship it is easy to know what a sub can realistically afford in terms of time/service and/or gifts.
I don't like stingy people in my life in any aspect.
Occasionally I do engage in acts of volunteerism or charity, but I do get something out of that anyhow - as a warm feeling inside that comes from doing good.
I do not, however, do charity Domming.
I might if my time weren't at such a premium, but it is. Time is precious. I want something equally precious in exchange.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 9:40:48 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Have you run into shoe shitters EFG ? I ran into a hand-bag shitter once, although I felt sorry for him, cause as you can imagine he does not get much play... ...I would not let him near my bags.

I am really with you on the tribute thing , you have written eloquently and prolifically on this subject throughout this thread and offered your unique voice to educate a lot of readers myself included.

What I think folks are missing , is that Power Exchange at the core, the heart, the essence, is .....(drum roll please).....Exchanging Power. So any one whose buttons are really pushed by this issue shows that they have huge reserves of power wrapped up in their ideas and ideals around money.

Getting them to drink your pee is one thing, oh yes they love to give up that sort of power, but they dont realize that its the same if not more intense to give up money as power, when that is really what they are so heavily invested in in.

I dont know if I am making sense, But what I am trying to say is that who the person is, and what they persoannly value, determines the worth of the tribute, if it is something very easily discarded by them then to me at least it is not as valuable as some one who somehow pushes themselves mentally financially or emotionally to give me a gift...that is a real tribute to me.

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 4/23/2006 9:42:35 PM >

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to darq)

RE: Tributes... - 4/23/2006 10:17:46 PM

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress
What I think folks are missing , is that Power Exchange at the core, the heart, the essence, is .....(drum roll please).....Exchanging Power. So any one whose buttons are really pushed by this issue shows that they have huge reserves of power wrapped up in their ideas and ideals around money.

Getting them to drink your pee is one thing, oh yes they love to give up that sort of power, but they dont realize that its the same if not more intense to give up money as power, when that is really what they are so heavily invested in in.

who the person is, and what they persoannly value, determines the worth of the tribute, if it is something very easily discarded by them then to me at least it is not as valuable as some one who somehow pushes themselves mentally financially or emotionally to give me a gift...that is a real tribute to me

Very well said! However my guess is that at least 80% of so called submissives would abandon this lifestyle all together if they thought they would absolutely have to loosen their grip on their wallets. It is indeed such a source of power and security for the men that you would do much better trying to find one to castrate.   I wonder how many submissive women feel this strongly about their money, or lack thereof.

I also am curious as to what the correlation is between cheap folks and their ability to pair up (especially with dominant women).
I agree that tribute is something freely given.   My guess is that it became popular because people were sick of giving up wank fodder for nothing in return by way of service/submission, never mind relationship potential.
As always, YMMV,   M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: Tributes... - 4/24/2006 5:25:05 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I have met subs who are very generous and thoughtful who are anti tribute. I think for many the term "tribute" has taken on a negative meaning because of the scams that go on... people demanding tribute who are never heard from again etc. It does go on.

The thing is not to tar everyone with a negative slant because of what some do. Read a profile if it asks for a tribute you are not happy with move on.

Personally I prefer something that is done with feeling and a want to please not because they think they might be able to buy me. I thus prefer to say I like thoughtful men not tributes. A thoughtful gesture doesnt have to cost a cent.

Oumae

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Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: Tributes... - 4/24/2006 5:55:17 AM

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/23/2006
Status: offline

"Tribute"

Puhleeze. Think of another word ending in "ute" and use that instead.

(in reply to Oumae)

RE: Tributes... - 4/24/2006 7:01:01 AM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

quote:

If I wanted to do something to show my Dom how I feel about them, that I think he's awesome and worthy of a tribute, I'm going to be a bit more creative than to buy him a toy or hand him some cash.

you miss a point. once again you're taking the way YOU experience and perceive BDSM relationships and translating it into the way we ALL should. it's not a matter of creativity. for instance. i wanted a vacbed. they cost about $900 for a two person vacbed with attached gas masks. my slaves KNOW that we have heavy rubber scenes. scenes they'd pay over $450+ an hour to receive were they going to a pro domme. they feel it IS being creative to get us toys and rubber that will make BOTH of our experiences MORE creative. they don't view buying equipment or outfits for our psychodrama as being uncreative- quite the opposite. it's VERY creative because it provides us more outlets. but feel free to keep doing what works for you.

MarinaBlack:

quote:

A woman wishing to feel like a Goddess wants to be pampered and adored - not used. Gifts and service are not untoward.
Want me to play with you in that $2000 leather gown? Buy it for me.
Want me to have a space that is grand and fully equipped for suspension and more? Help me out with the rent.
Want to display me as a trophy at an expensive restaurant? Going "Dutch" is not an option.
Want to put a smile on my face? My favourite flowers handed to me on bended knee is a nice start.

Again, only my opinion.

i agree with you once again on all fronts

crouchingtigress

quote:

I am really with you on the tribute thing , you have written eloquently and prolifically on this subject throughout this thread and offered your unique voice to educate a lot of readers myself included.

What I think folks are missing , is that Power Exchange at the core, the heart, the essence, is .....(drum roll please).....Exchanging Power. So any one whose buttons are really pushed by this issue shows that they have huge reserves of power wrapped up in their ideas and ideals around money.

Getting them to drink your pee is one thing, oh yes they love to give up that sort of power, but they dont realize that its the same if not more intense to give up money as power, when that is really what they are so heavily invested in in.

I dont know if I am making sense, But what I am trying to say is that who the person is, and what they persoannly value, determines the worth of the tribute, if it is something very easily discarded by them then to me at least it is not as valuable as some one who somehow pushes themselves mentally financially or emotionally to give me a gift...that is a real tribute to me.

you're so right on this one.. slaves typically have NO problem giving up control of everything. hell most of my slaves are on allowance. i have access to their bank accounts and monitor all spending, they have to provide me with receipts for ANYTHING they spend (even if they go to a parking garage and get a handwritten receipt i want it).. am i sitting there TAKING money out of their account? nope- but for them to even give up access to their accounts shows the level of our trust. they know i'm not gonna ruin them financially. but how is that any different than them getting past any other limit they may have?

oh ok, i can SHIT in your mouth.. but when i tell you i want a toilet box .. well now that's a problem?

please.........

crouchingtigress
quote:

Have you run into shoe shitters EFG ? I ran into a hand-bag shitter once, although I felt sorry for him, cause as you can imagine he does not get much play... ...I would not let him near my bags.

haha, no i haven't had anyone that wanted to shit in shoes.. BUT i have a belgian slave that would lick shit off the bottom of my boot. does that count? and i've had COUNTLESS other *out there* fetishes. i can appreciate that not everyone can relate to that sort of interaction or that don't *get* what it's about.. but hey.. when it's all said and done.. what works for me.. or what i expect doesn't always work for EVERYONE.

i think people get caught up in the word TRIBUTE.

ok.. is it tribute when you fuck your wife then buy her a wedding ring and pay all her bills?
-geeze, what a prostitute she is.

is it tribute when you show your respect and admiration for your mother on mother's day with a gift?
-of course mom's a prostitute.. silly bitch actually expecting a GIFT on mothers day.. their birth was tribute enough for her right? (like subbies feel that their submission is gift enough)

is it tribute when guys wine & dine their girlfriends whom all along have NO clue that her bf likes to sniff her panties and dress like a big ole queen?
-of course it's not tribute then.. because they can turn to a Mistress and tell her all of his intimate secrets.. she knows him more intimately than ANYONE else.. but she's the least gifted woman in his life?

i think not.

sorry, i don't view submission as a gift- i view submission as expected from anyone that serves me. PERIOD. a gift is a gift. their submission is just merely expected. and yes i come from an older school of thought on that.

peole can't seem to wrap their pathetic, myopic little brains around the fact that SOME men have NO problem gifting VOLUNTARILY. i don't have to ask for shit. people are MORE than willing to do things on their own not just to *buy* me, but because A. they can afford it, B. they want us to have new exciting toys to play with. and C.. they know that i spend a LOT of time training them so they want me to have the best of everything.

i dont understand how VOLUNTARY tributes that are given but not demanded are getting lumped into the same boat that pro tributes are.. and why are people's eyes glazing over when they read the *we don't DEMAND* it.. but with that being said we do expect contribution to our collection. why shouldn't we? if we aren't charging for our time but they STILL want us to have all the bells and whistles.. then YES they will help procure those toys. so the experience can be better for all parties involved.

sorry- i prefer more intense scenes. neither me nor my slaves will be happy with a hairbrush and some paper clips acting as nipple clamps. we want real toys, real equipment, real gear, real rubber and those things cost REAL money. money that i spend to contribute to my collection and money that they contribute to build OUR collection. they aren't just buying ME toys.. the majority of my slaves i've had from 3-4 years. they look at it as an investment.

but then again we're into heavy SM & Fetish. so our approach is a little different.

like i said.. i have no complaints.

if a domme that feels her slaves should contribute to their fetishes.. and that makes her a pro domme..

then what does it make a man that approaches a domme and EXPECTS to lick her pussy.. or EXPECTS sex?

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One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to darq)

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