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How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 3:11:06 PM

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i've sent emails to a couple of Dommes and received no reply, which is fine. If someone is not interested they're not interested.

i don't want to harass or stalk anyone, but i also don't want to give up too easily. i assume that if someone read my message and didn't respond that they're not interested. So, i'm asking a Mistress, have You ever reconsidered after a second email?

thanks

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 3:20:08 PM

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No I haven't.

I'm sorry, but if you've been ignored then you've been ignored, and if she's just taking a while to respond you're being impatient and irritating.

Once is enough. It's not 'giving up easily', it's respecting someone's wishes.

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(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 3:57:55 PM

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I can't say that I have. Generally, if I didn't respond to the first one, I don't want a second one. Someone writing Me multiple times before I have answered usually isn't a good sign.

I understand somebody needing to add something to a message after they have sent a note that is important. That doesn't happen in those situations where it is someone that I didn't want to correspond with in the first place. Friends, sure. That can happen easily. (Somebody forgot to tell Me what time we're getting together or sending Me the thread link that they wanted Me to see.) If it's somebody I've never sent a response to about anything, yes, it is a slight bit harassing.

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RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 4:12:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I can't say that I have. Generally, if I didn't respond to the first one, I don't want a second one. Someone writing Me multiple times before I have answered usually isn't a good sign.

I understand somebody needing to add something to a message after they have sent a note that is important. That doesn't happen in those situations where it is someone that I didn't want to correspond with in the first place. Friends, sure. That can happen easily. (Somebody forgot to tell Me what time we're getting together or sending Me the thread link that they wanted Me to see.) If it's somebody I've never sent a response to about anything, yes, it is a slight bit harassing.

Thanks LadyPact,

That is what i assumed. i just wanted to make sure i wasn't missing some point of protocol. Thanks also for Your advice on my profile. i made most of the changes You suggested and will be changing the user name soon.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 4:56:36 PM

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it is a user name that should be changed. Of course look who is talking. Try a name that makes them think a little.

(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 5:37:55 PM

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From: Washington, DC area
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I would also suggest that your user name needs to be changed... I can dismiss a response simply by looking at a name, perhaps not the best thing.. but I do. I would likely just on the strength of your name... that said, seeing what you've written here in the forums might make me change my mind.

FYI to all... if I politely respond, thank you for your interest and say I'm not interested (which I do a lot, even though it says that in my profile) then you don't need to respond with an email detailing your sexual needs and proclivities (which has happened twice this week). I find if I just don't respond its better.

You're doing great... politeness and manners will get you far. I do think if you get no response, that is a response... a no thanks...

quote:

ORIGINAL: lickenforyou

i've sent emails to a couple of Dommes and received no reply, which is fine. If someone is not interested they're not interested.

i don't want to harass or stalk anyone, but i also don't want to give up too easily. i assume that if someone read my message and didn't respond that they're not interested. So, i'm asking a Mistress, have You ever reconsidered after a second email?

thanks

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 8:12:49 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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Your thread caught my eye .. so I thought I would share an OUTLINE of my experience ...

Writing back can work ... depending on how you do it.

Do allow me to explain ...

There is the occasional single, unattached Domme, who will give you a second chance. And while I will not id them ... they exist ... rare, but they do ... as long as your second mail addresses Her profile (correcting your mistakes, is how I heard it described).

But usually ... you need to let weeks or months go by ... and try again ... with a better written introduction.

Many of my meetings from here ... came as a result of a second attempt ... but the attempt was usually a couple months later.

There seems to be a real cycle to responses ... new profiles are innundated ... one gets a reject letter (that is nice) ... than write back a month or so later ... and surprise, surprise, then one gets a POSITIVE response ...

But the KEY is .. write really well ... and address Her needs and desires ...

Again ... just my

but it can work ... at least to meeting ...

(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 11:50:06 PM

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thanks for all the great feedback!

Any thoughts on this as a username...feedingYourfire

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RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/15/2010 11:56:16 PM

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I like that name, personally...

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(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/16/2010 12:05:33 AM

hlen5

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I like the name, too. Just remember it has to feel right and descriptive to YOU. Best of Luck to you!

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RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/16/2010 6:21:09 AM

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Another vote for the name... although...

sometimes its just nice to see a name... as opposed to a description like that.. make sense? While not all women are this way, a lot of women are looking for a whole person. That name, while just fine, would make me think 'oh yeah, and when I'm down to ashes, what then?'

I'm a skeptic and curmudgeon... so feel free to ignore me

quote:

ORIGINAL: lickenforyou

thanks for all the great feedback!

Any thoughts on this as a username...feedingYourfire

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/16/2010 6:45:20 AM

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If you write back, make it relevant. For example: "I saw on your profile you're into trampling, I'm a huge fan of that"
It is very rare that I would ever give someone a second chance, but if you have an interesting enough profile and you're messages are intelligent and witty, you might get through to someone. The problem is that there are so many male subs out there and most of us get a buttload of messages every time we log on. You need to make yours and your profile stand out!

(in reply to Madame4a)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/16/2010 9:41:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lickenforyou

Any thoughts on this as a username...feedingYourfire

I like that name - and I like your current picture. You have a nice smile.

Honestly, if I don't respond to your first email, it probably means I'm not interested. A few months later, if you have something new or different to say, writing again isn't necessarily poor form, but writing to someone more than once in a short time period feels like pestering. Let it go. Move on. If they get back to you a week or two later, take it as a pleasant surprise.

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(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/27/2010 2:36:21 PM

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Fire away, but...

Is it such a tough thing to do to repsond back? Just because your dom or domme, shouldn't mean you ignore an email. Most sites even have automatic replies. I am dom and often send welcome/hello notes to subs and also never hear anything back.

The best way to not get a second email is, in my opinion, to hit reply and say "No, thanks".

< Message edited by JamesS66 -- 10/27/2010 2:37:10 PM >

(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/27/2010 2:57:34 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lickenforyou
i don't want to harass or stalk anyone, but i also don't want to give up too easily. i assume that if someone read my message and didn't respond that they're not interested. So, i'm asking a Mistress, have You ever reconsidered after a second email?

Yes, in the sense that I might have originally been intending to reply eventually, but if a guy gets pushy and bothers me again, I'll just block him.

Also, your screen name would earn an insta-block from me without even reading your mail. I really, really don't want to hear from some random guy who leads off with a waggling tongue. Stay classy and you'll go far. Fail in the class and taste department and your mail will end up in a lot of virtual trash cans.

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Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/27/2010 2:59:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JamesS66

Fire away, but...

Is it such a tough thing to do to repsond back? Just because your dom or domme, shouldn't mean you ignore an email. Most sites even have automatic replies. I am dom and often send welcome/hello notes to subs and also never hear anything back.

The best way to not get a second email is, in my opinion, to hit reply and say "No, thanks".

Fraid not. If you're a woman on an adult site, that's actually the best way to get stalked, harassed, threatened, argued with, insulted, cursed out, or otherwise sorry that you responded *at all* to a guy you weren't interested in but who wanted you. Wish it wasn't so, but it is.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to JamesS66)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/27/2010 3:58:53 PM

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The thing is, the name 'lickenforyou' very much means that the first thing a woman will notice about your message is something that hints at what you want to do, rather than at what she wants to do. These Dommes run a mile from anything that smacks of what they call a 'do-me sub' - a sub who just wants a Domme to cater for his favourite kink. (If you run a search on 'do-me' - you'll quickly see what I mean.) I have the sense that you're not that sort so it'd be a shame if you got seen that way mistakenly.

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(in reply to lickenforyou)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/27/2010 4:22:44 PM

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JamesS66

Fire away, but...

Is it such a tough thing to do to repsond back? Just because your dom or domme, shouldn't mean you ignore an email. Most sites even have automatic replies. I am dom and often send welcome/hello notes to subs and also never hear anything back.

The best way to not get a second email is, in my opinion, to hit reply and say "No, thanks".

Actually, this is not true at all. The best way not to get a second email is to block the person when they contact you the first time if you are not interested in them. It has a 100% success rate.

I recently did an experiment on this subject with another poster on the forums. I set up a duplicate account so the other person could see just what kind of volume a female gets on sites like this. A large percentage of the time, when I sent back "no thanks" type of responses, what I received back were rude messages back. In fact, saying no thanks was absolutely worse than not replying at all. There were some who wrote back simply to say thank you for replying, but they were far overshadowed by people who sent nasty comments after I had told them I wasn't interested.

As for the automated reply thing, I'm not using it. No response is a response. Unless, of course, you happen to respond to all of the mail that you receive at home that you consider junk mail.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to JamesS66)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/27/2010 4:31:45 PM

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From: Washington, DC area
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Actually, quite the opposite... a reply will always get yet another email, no matter the reply... its very different for women here than men... you have no idea how much unsolicited and obnoxious email women get here.

See my first post in this thread...

and ETA ... what LP said... better than I did

quote:

ORIGINAL: JamesS66

Fire away, but...

Is it such a tough thing to do to repsond back? Just because your dom or domme, shouldn't mean you ignore an email. Most sites even have automatic replies. I am dom and often send welcome/hello notes to subs and also never hear anything back.

The best way to not get a second email is, in my opinion, to hit reply and say "No, thanks".

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 10/27/2010 4:33:05 PM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to JamesS66)

RE: How many times should one make a request. - 10/27/2010 5:20:28 PM

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(fast reply)

Greetings,

I would like to echo what many of the women on this thread have already mentioned ... any reply will get you another email. ... and usually a rude nasty one at that.

Wickad

(in reply to Madame4a)

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