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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/21/2010 12:07:43 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
naughtynick81,

quote:

To think that any man has to pay up just to be in the presence of a woman or else he doesn’t deserve a woman is idiotic and sexist as it's best.


I've never paid to be in the presence of any of my female friends and lovers.  (Albeit, I've spent plenty of money entertaining as I desired to and so did they.)  The prerequisite is that, like any human being, you must prove yourself worthy and make yourself attractive in the sense that a woman desires your company.  It works the other way too.  The only women who get my time are those who interest me enough and who invest in me enough that I desire their company.

quote:

This is year 2010, I thought women like yourself would have evolved by now and gotten past this sickening entitlement preaching rubbish attitude.


I suspect you've misinterpreted Mistress Rosalyn's somewhat mirror-like reaction to you.  If you put negative stuff out there, it reflects back your way.

E.

(in reply to naughtynick81)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/21/2010 12:11:08 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
VaguelyCurious,

quote:

VaguelyCurious to MistressRosalyn:
Don't feed the fetish, yeah?


Yeah.  I know this too.  But one hopes that offering balanced perspective may eventually break through.

E.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/21/2010 12:28:22 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
Ebony Amor,

Realistically, based on the few professional dominants I know, to gain a reliable clientele, you must appeal to certain demographics.  Given that it's not unusual for pro-domme fees to be in the $200 to $300 per hour range and above, consider the demographics that can afford this on a regular basis.

My understanding is that it's much nicer to have a regular (weekly or monthly) client base than to cater to one-off customers.  This makes sense because you're investing all the up-front work (finding out about the client, ensuring your safety, acquiring toys and planning scenes given what you know about the client's tastes, etc.) and for one-offs you must repeat this every time.  That's a lot of work and expense and it doesn't necessarily make for reliable revenue.  It takes some time to locate and build up regulars, but this is worth the effort.

There are exceptions to every rule, but for the professional dominants I know, their regular clients are wealthy business people.  Thus, you'd do well to keep up with local and international events that effect such people.  For example, if a major company changes structure, something significant happens in the stock market, or something else of broad, world-wide significance occurs, it's not a bad idea to be aware of these events so you can hold a conversation with your clients.  These are likely not the things you'll be discussing during a scene, but outside scenes they'll help entice your clients and give them a feeling you're adding more value to their lives than just BDSM play.  This type of breadth in your conversational skills helps establish you as a classy professional as opposed to (dare I say this?) just a whore. :-)  Ditto on how you present yourself.  Style of dress, organizational skills and punctuality, a sense of humour that is classy instead of vulgar, grace, kindness, and empathy skills... all of these are part of your marketing package.

If you're not certain about a specific kind of play, handling this in a professional way is also important.  Don't send the client to someone else and risk losing the client.  Instead, find someone else you trust and learn from them, and, if need be, cut your rates and ask your client if he/she minds if another dominant sits in with you.  Again, what you're establishing is a sense of professionalism.  It's fine to bring in other, qualified people you trust to assist you (as long as your client agrees, of course).  As much as possible, once you've worked with a given client and they've become a part of your business, try to maintain and manage your client relationships so that you're the one who is providing service, even if you've contracted the service to someone else and they are dishing out the play.  Be present so you've go face-to-face contact with your client and the client comes back to you.

You'll get plenty of "would be" customers who call you names, don't show up, demand too much of your time without paying, cancel at the last minute, etc.  I encourage you not to waste time dealing with these.  Discard them quickly and move on to working with the customers you're looking to find.  Most importantly, if someone is nasty to you, do not publish this on the Internet.  Though it's tempting to use the Internet as a "get even" and "stress relief" tool, professionals do not do this.  Maintain a professional decorum at all times and save battlefield stories for private conversations at home with your significant other.

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 10/21/2010 1:27:45 PM >

(in reply to GODDESSEBONYAMOR)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 1:11:52 AM   
naughtynick81


Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

VC, he may believe that he's being an asshole to me, but really, he's still just wanking little boy who wants to get attention


Get over your self and stop being a raven chauvinist bigot. It never ceases to amaze me when I see the extreme superiority complexes displayed by many of the dommes in these sites. This is a perfect example; you think I am wanking my self or seeking attention just because I express my disagreements with many of the shitty attitudes dommes have in these sites.

It's a really pathetic and immature defence mechanism to attempt to intimidate a man's sexuality when he simply has a legitimate and honest complaint about women. This is also used to silence the said complaint.

quote:

I just wished to use nickyboy as an object lesson, and he danced to my tune quite nicely, thank you.


Is that so? Or is it your delusional grandeur?

quote:

there are countless men out there who have no interest in living a certain lifestyle, but they in their misguided sense of entitlement, want someone to spend their time on them fulfilling all of their fantasies, without having the courtesy to compensate them for that time spent.


Misguided sense of entitlement? heh your misguided opinion really can’t get much more ludicrous than this.

What about women who have fantasies? Does that mean they have a sense of entitlement too if they are not willing to cough up money in any form for a man?

So is it only men who have a sense of entitlement when they have fantasies but are not willing to pay financial draining pro dommes or buy a woman coffees and dinner simply because she has a vagina? Why the double standards, Rosalyn? Is it because you’re a bigot, Rosalyn? :P

More than anything, what you are expressing is a perfect example of having a misguided sense of entitlement. It's extremely chauvinistic/sexist. You obviously have no respect for men to have such a fucked up attitude towards them.

This is how it is; financially, men don’t owe women ANYTHING. Nada. This is what the entitlement preaching parasites need to get around their silly heads.

When it doesn't come to bumming from a man's wallet, there is nothing wrong with a man simply seeking a woman who suits his kinky desires. Why? Because why would a woman participate in doing them with him if she is not going to enjoy it also? Besides money, a woman is obviously not going to do it if it's not going to excite her too. There has to be something in it for her. And this is the logic, Rosalyn, that your intelligence can't comprehend. Women have fantasies/kinky desires to. It's about finding that kinky match. It's not about a woman bumming off my wallet.

Let’s face it, them quality of women are the lowest of low. I want a woman with quality, not some beggar for my money. People argue that pro-dommes are not prostitutes. But in my books, a woman who sells sexual gratification for money is a proustite. Also, people define it as prostitution when women believe that a man has to pay for everything on a date if things are going to lead further. But such an opinion is too politically incorrect for many people to handle.   I would never ever get involved with such leeching parasites who have such a disgusting superiority complex and sense of entitlement over men as they hold no quality for who they are as a person. They belong in the gutter.
 
quote:

not simply a do-me sub who gives nothing of himself.

  Ahahaha   So your definition in these terms   Do-me sub: A man who is not willing to treat a woman as a prostitute.  
quote:

It is entirely possible that there may be some female out there who would go for such a scenario

  Arrr that’s because women have desires/kinks to.  
quote:

So you must be prepared for these attitudes, but in the end, it comes down to the old supply and demand issue.

  Oh of course, just because there are more male subs than dommes in this scene, a man has to cough up the cash to these chauvinist scamming parasites. A woman is not wrong to have such a fucked up attitude, a man is wrong to have a problem with it heh. Ask Rosalyn and others with the same attitudes. They give really logical advice ladies and gentlemen.
 
quote:

If you can supply something that meets a demand

  You see, I am not a dumbass who will fall for such stupidity when women want to exploit and take advantage over men financially because men have it harder. These types of women have absolute no respect for men if they want to simply exploit and take advantage over men in such a fashion.   When it comes to “supply”; it’s about suppling who you are as a person and as for this scene, if his kinks match hers. It should have nothing to do with money. I really wouldn’t consider it as a healthy approach or seeing it as someone who can provide a healthy relationship if this certain woman believes I need to supply her money or buying her shit to get her interest. As these types of women are nothing but trash.  
quote:

Educate yourself as far as you can

  The total irony is that I think you are the one who seriously needs to be educated.   The bottom line is that men as a gender are just as worthy as women as a gender. If you don’t agree with this, you are a raven chauvinist bigoted twit.

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 8:56:16 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

The bottom line is that men as a gender are just as worthy as women as a gender.

Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Clouseau.  I don't think anyone else is debating this.  Whether or not you are worthy is another matter entirely but it has nothing to do with your gender.

~stef


_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to naughtynick81)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 9:27:07 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
The logical answer, for anybody who doesn't want to financially contribute to the aspect of play is very simple.  Purchase your own toys, equipment, and supplies.  Buy all of the floggers, restraints, needles, tails, rope, canes, paddles, and everything else yourself.  Then, you can say that you don't have to make a contribution because all of the items are yours, rather than expect the woman who is topping to pay for it all.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 10:39:19 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

Which is why you will sit in your lonely room for the rest of your pitiful existence and have to resort to wanking off to your fantasies


What do female subs have to pay? What does any female have to pay?

To think that any man has to pay up just to be in the presence of a woman or else he doesn’t deserve a woman is idiotic and sexist as it's best.

This is year 2010, I thought women like your self would have evolved by now and gotten past this sickening entitlement preaching rubbish attitude.





Of course we must all be really awful because we don't want to spend time with somebody who shows your attitude and is too cheap to even pay for a coffee.

I guess you get a lot of free play...


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to naughtynick81)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 10:49:43 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The logical answer, for anybody who doesn't want to financially contribute to the aspect of play is very simple.  Purchase your own toys, equipment, and supplies.  Buy all of the floggers, restraints, needles, tails, rope, canes, paddles, and everything else yourself.  Then, you can say that you don't have to make a contribution because all of the items are yours, rather than expect the woman who is topping to pay for it all.



Waiting for that day to come~

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 12:18:25 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

Which is why you will sit in your lonely room for the rest of your pitiful existence and have to resort to wanking off to your fantasies


What do female subs have to pay? What does any female have to pay?

To think that any man has to pay up just to be in the presence of a woman or else he doesn’t deserve a woman is idiotic and sexist as it's best.

This is year 2010, I thought women like your self would have evolved by now and gotten past this sickening entitlement preaching rubbish attitude.


>>This is year 2010, I thought women like your self would have evolved by now and gotten past this sickening entitlement preaching rubbish attitude.
>>I thought women like your self would have evolved
>> women evolved

Ok, this is where you went wrong. Expecting women to evolve? puh-lease.


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to naughtynick81)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 12:41:55 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
Maybe you have the answer then? 

I'm not a pro, but My equipment and accessories can rival most.  The low estimate I would put a tag on of about ten thousand dollars.  That's over and above what I've spent at events, demos, and such to learn how to use the stuff.  Easily another five grand over more than a decade.

So, I've invested all of this of My own accord.  Does this mean that I should use it on just anybody who comes along, who wants to bottom, and makes no contribution?  That would be a rather piss poor return on any financial investment.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 2:01:53 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
How did this become a referendum on whether women have to pay?  Actually, I know the answer, I'm just being all rhetorical and shit.

I enjoy paying, even if she makes more money than I do.  But, I'll say this, if she doesn't pay for something, I'll lose interest really fast.  I don't do greedy.

This relates directly, I believe, to the psychology of prodomming.  The successful prodommes I know -- the ones who have stuck it out long-term -- are the ones who refuse to bankrupt their clients even when they are findomming.  They generate customer loyalty because the clients can tell they actually care.  The "give me all your money now, loser pigs" women have a harder time of it.  "Money slaves" tend to be all wank and no action, because, frankly, it's like castration: the guy can only perform the fetish once, and then his life is over.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 2:38:01 PM   
VideoAdminTheta


Posts: 3967
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline
I really do not want to hack up this thread with a heavy delete button as it will remove a number of things I think many will find worthwhile. On the other hand, I need you all to cooperate and stop the name calling or I will have to come in and delete a great deal. So this will be up to you all. You will determine where this goes.

Thank you

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 2:51:43 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
I agree, nobody expects the guy to do nothing but pay, but I think it does show a certain mindset if he doesn't have the good grace or manners to offer her to buy her a cup of coffee, it shows he doesn't appreciate her taking time for him.

Not a problem going dutch, not a problem buying a guy a drink, but if a guy asks me out, I expect at least that he offers to buy me a drink, or else I get the feeling he doesn't really care.

As to what LP said, BDSM equipment is seriously expensive, I recently purchased a few new whips and they set me back a few hundred, I couldn't honestly start to calculate how much my equipment is and I don't think I am super well equipped (considering there is so much out there that I don't have but want), then of course there would be outfits, corsets, shoes... Whips need to be replaced from time to time as does other equipment, some equipment is strictly disposable, costs for training and time, you seriously couldn't put a price tag on it. The idea that anybody just thinks that I "have" to make the time to dominate him, use my equipment simply because he thinks I should (especially when he's done nothing but bashing women) - the answer is almost a no brainer...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 6:31:17 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GODDESSEBONYAMOR

what makes a pro domme ? i would like to turn my passion into profit but i,m not a pro .


Clients ... first

Satisfied Clients ... second

And thus ... return visits by satisfied clients .... a lot like any business ....

So you have to suck up and make them happy! What you say ... you are domme?

(in reply to GODDESSEBONYAMOR)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 8:27:11 PM   
naughtynick81


Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
To say that the toys a domme chooses to buy in her will...no one is forcing her or pointing a gun at her to buy it....is the man's job to pay her for it is laughaghly ridiculous.

A few dommes in this thread did make a somewhat valid point, in some grounds. Only if a current sub wants it. For a quick example, a chastity device.

But if a domme simply buys all these things without the next subs suggestion; let's say a domme buys toys simply because they stimulate her and she is waiting upon her pray to use these toys. How is this the man's price to pay when he never suggested it the first place as in the past? He never knew her?

Let's take this in reverse, if a man had toys (regardless of his role) what grounds would he have to demand a woman to give him tribute for it? uhmmmmmm?

This double standard is pulled under the rug

No one is forcing you to buy toys. You make that choice. You take full responsibly. And that responsibility includes; it has no financial burden on others. You buy it, you own it.



(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 8:48:00 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

But if a domme simply buys all these things without the next subs suggestion; let's say a domme buys toys simply because they stimulate her and she is waiting upon her pray to use these toys. How is this the man's price to pay when he never suggested it the first place as in the past? He never knew her?

Hey nick,
When you hire a plumber, do you expect him to show up and ask to borrow your pipe wrench, or do you expect him to have his own tools and equipment? This thread is about pro dommes who provide a service. Having the proper equipment is part of that service, and the tools of the trade cost. When I hire a plumber, part of what I pay him goes to buying and/or replacing his tools, keeping his vehicle running, paying for his office space, etc. Why should this be different? You seem to keep missing the point that a pro domme acts out the fantasies of her client, whether she is into whatever it is or not. It's a business like any other and she has to cover her overhead, which includes the cost of playspace, toys, clothes, shoes, etc.




_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to naughtynick81)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 8:59:15 PM   
naughtynick81


Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
So Wyldhrt that should mean any MALE DOM or anyone with toys in this scene for that matter should expect the willing participant to pay him/her/them tribute. Even if it's a sub who bought the toys.

Wow

Oopsy Daisy

< Message edited by naughtynick81 -- 10/22/2010 9:01:12 PM >

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 9:04:57 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

So Wyldhrt that should mean any MALE DOM or anyone with toys in this scene for that matter should expect the willing participant to pay him/her/them tribitrit. Even if it's a sub who bought the toys.
Wow
Oopsy Daisy

*Watches the point go sailing right over nick's cranium*
If that male Dom is a pro and being paid to fulfill the fantasies of his client? Absolutely. You do know that there are male pro Doms, right? There are also both male and female pro subs, and guess what? They get paid, too, and part of that goes for their equipment and wardrobe.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to naughtynick81)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 9:10:19 PM   
naughtynick81


Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
So these pro female/male dom/dommes get paid for what others in the scene generally provide?

This now makes logical sense, men should pay up to these women because they need to get exploited and taken advantage of as its harder for them to get the precious pussy. This is not sexism though. We have to keep pulling the next 100 dollar note out of our wallets

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 9:14:56 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
Nick, please read LadyPact's post again and think of things she has said in the past. She is not a professional dominant. She doesn't expect tribute or payment. However a coffee or dinner, maybe some part of being in some sort of relationship and the natural flow of give and take might be exactly what she is talking about.

Many of us pay for dates, coffee... outings, fun times and support one another in many ways. I even know professionals that share with a partner depending on their relationship. If you wish to paint us all with the same brush, same color, go right ahead, but do keep in mind, you're twisting things is only showing how narrow your view is. If you wish to clump all the women together, that would be your mistake.

I do know though, there are a number of submissive men around here glad that we don't do that to them because you are so narrow minded and determinedly focused on harassing women as often as you can.

I don't believe you can offend many of us around here because we are considering the source for the most part. You nullify yourself Nick, you really do. If you wish to stay bitter and don't want to change and you just enjoy trying to pick at women, you go right ahead, I am sure it will be as fruitless as it has been when it comes to more fulfilling situations for yourself.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 10/22/2010 9:16:18 PM >


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 40
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